Mending Hearts: Logan's Story

by Kimberly Krey

  It was that very thought that stemmed a recollection. The text he’d received from Lana’s boyfriend, Brad. He’d forgotten about it entirely. With a hint of dread, he pulled his phone from his pocket and thumbed through his texts.

  Logan, this is Brad, Lana’s boyfriend. I just wanted to give you a head’s up about a disturbing document I found on my laptop. It’s an ugly letter Lana wrote to the adoption agency on your behalf. You might want to call the agency and see if you can replace her as a referral.

  A curse flew from Logan’s lips as he read the text a second time. He kept his eyes pasted on the glowing screen as he considered how to respond. With the shake of his head, he finally typed out a reply, his fingers feeling numb at the tips.

  Can you forward the letter to me? I’d like to know just what kinds of things she said.

  He shuffled forward another inch or two before texting his email address to him, tacking a few last words onto the end:

  And thanks for letting me know.

  Once the text was sent, Logan marched toward the home with a painful prodding in his chest.

  Sick.

  Hollow.

  Thuds.

  Damn that devil woman and her twisted schemes. Just what in the hell was wrong with her?

  A lot, he realized. There was a whole lot wrong with Lana Peters if she was capable of something like this. By the time he climbed up the back steps Logan received a reply to his text. Brad had simply agreed to send the letter to him, letting him know it’d be there right away.

  Was it possible Lana could really undo everything with just a few nasty words? False ones, at that, no doubt. Logan checked the clock. When he’d left the house at five that morning, Candice had still been sound asleep. She had to be up by now, getting ready for the day.

  Upon entering the house, he pulled the door closed behind him, and heard the sound of her sweet voice singing. Logan clenched his eyes shut and groaned. It felt as if somebody had just taken hold of his heart and was squeezing the life out of it.

  He paused there by the door. Should he wait until he got the email, or just tell her now? Now, he decided. And then they could call the agency and see what recourse they had. And just why hadn’t he thought about the fact that Lana might resort to such a thing? She was a woman scorned, after all, being that Logan had turned her down. Humiliated her. He wondered if a guy had told her no in her entire life.

  “Candice?” he called, striding quickly down the hall. He went straight to his laptop, opened the thing up, and set it on his lap.

  Candice sauntered into the room, her head tilted to one side as she fastened an earing. “Good morning,” she said.

  Logan gulped back the lump of fear rising in his throat. “We might have a problem.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Candice fought to control the rapid pace of her breaths as she read over the letter Lana wrote to the agency. Cruel and vicious words that had her gasping, tearing up with anger, and laughing incredulously in turn. “She is a miserable, spiteful beast,” Candice said, barely managing to get the words out in her shaken state. “I can’t believe she would do this to me.”

  She shot to her feet and paced the floor, sentences from Lana’s letter spinning wildly in her head. …the couple lives in a state of chaos. They’re unstable... Incapable of putting aside differences to raise a child. Another statement slipped into the mix: …caught Logan peeping at me through the window while I dressed. “Is that true?” she blurted, pausing mid-stride to look at him.

  A deep scowl came over Logan’s face. “Is what true?”

  “That you saw her while she was getting dressed.”

  “Hell, no,” he growled. “Well I mean, I caught some… stupid glimpse of her through the window while I was grilling outside. Remember? I came in and told you right then. She was trying to set me up.”

  Candice did remember him accusing Lana of that, just before the agency called. “That’s right. I can’t believe she had the nerve to write that part at the end. Saying you came to her the night before she left, begging her to stay. That you wanted to leave me for her. It makes me sick.”

  Logan’s eyes went wide. “You don’t believe any of that, do you?”

  “Of course not. I just can’t believe she would say it.”

  Logan exhaled a deep breath and dropped his head in his hands. “There is something I didn’t tell you though.”

  Candice felt her already frantic heart kick up an extra beat. “What?”

  “Lana approached me that night.” The sound of his voice echoed against his cupped hands. “She said that if you and I weren’t able to make things work out, she’d be interested in me. That she wanted a man like me to help her raise Kenny.”

  Candice gasped. “What did you tell her?”

  He pulled his hands away from his face, tilted his head until their eyes met. “That we were working things out. That it wasn’t appropriate for her to be saying that to me. She’s supposed to be your friend.”

  “Oh, this just keeps getting worse,” Candice said, the angry heat in her chest boiling over. “I hate that you didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I went to bed thinking I should keep it to myself. Then stayed up for hours wondering if I should wake you up and tell you right then, before Lana took off. But by the time you were up I’d changed my mind, thought it’d be best to leave it alone for now. Who wants to know about an ugly betrayal like that? I thought it would just cause you unnecessary pain.” He shrugged. “It was already done, you know?”

  “Yeah, but Logan you can’t do stuff like that. You can’t keep things from me because you don’t think I can handle it. Not only does that put distance between us, it makes me feel like some weak… child, which I’m not.”

  “Of course you’re not.”

  “Then don’t treat me like one.”

  Logan had his chest puffed – his mouth poised to speak in return – when the look of surrender washed over him. His shoulders dropped. And the air seeped out in one big, deflating push. “I’m sorry.”

  Candice’s shoulders lifted as she gave him a nod of acceptance. Something about confronting Logan just then felt nice. It seemed to make up for all the times her family had kept things from her. But the high was short-lived – began draining fast from her as their problem came back into focus: small black letters on a white, glowing screen. Ugly. Damaging. Cruel.

  “I’m going to call her,” she declared, gaze darting toward the nightstand for her phone. “I’m going to call and give her a piece of my mind right this second.” She sped toward the nightstand, anxious to get her hands on the cell phone, when Logan spoke up.

  “No,” he blurted, shaking his head. “If Lana’s in contact with them, calling her could make things worse. The letter’s supposed to be confidential, remember? And calling and chewing her out right now will do nothing.”

  The adrenaline coursing through Candice seemed to back up then, pooling at the roadblock Logan’s words had created. “It’d make me feel better,” she mumbled.

  Logan nodded. “Yeah. But not for long.” He snapped his laptop closed. “The agency doesn’t open for another hour. I say we get on the road, call once they’re open, and try to set things straight.”

  Candice broke into a pace once more, feeling as if she might vomit. Her arms felt weak and flimsy. Her head was a mass of fog and fear and doubt. “This is going to ruin everything,” she said under her breath. “I can’t believe she did this to us. I can’t believe it.”

  “Candice.” His voice was loud. Firm. But caught in some distant place where pipes squeak and clocks tick, the sound almost going unnoticed as her mind spun. The voices in her head growing louder than all of it. This is it. Things are falling apart, just like you always feared. We’re not going to get the baby. The mother’s going to choose someone else.

  “Candice, look at me.” Logan caught her in a firm grip, his hands wrapping around her arms. “Promise me…” He gulped, tipped his head until their
eyes met. The word devout shot to her mind like a dart, tearing past the fears in her head. “I don’t think this will ruin it for us,” he said, “I really don’t. But I need you to swear to me that if it does, you won’t let go.”

  She bit at her lip as she studied him, unsure of what he meant.

  Logan shook his head the slightest bit. “I’m worried too. I’m scared that Lana may have spoiled everything and that we might not get the baby now.” His expression turned grave. The light in his eyes dimmed. “But more than that, I’m afraid you’ll leave and … and that I’ll never know just how I could have stopped you.”

  Leave him? His words created tiny fractures in her heart. Candice hated that she’d made him feel this way. That he’d think – even now – that she’d simply check out of the relationship. “Never,” she promised, throwing her arms around him. A pool of warmth flooded her chest as she tightened her grip, replaying his heartbreaking sentiments in her mind. Wanting to banish every bit of those doubts. “No matter what happens,” she assured, “it’s me and you, Logan. Always.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  “How can they all just be out of the office?” Logan growled, tightening his fingers around the steering wheel.

  “They’re not all out of the office. Just the ones who might be able to help us.”

  Logan eyed the clock on the dash before glancing over at Candice. She looked as calm as she sounded. Meanwhile he was a bucket of nerves. It didn’t help that he was driving Candice’s car, aka the gutless wonder. She swore it was reliable but Logan wasn’t convinced. As soon as they got back to Montana he’d replace the thing for something faster. And safer. Small thing didn’t seem fit for carrying such precious cargo.

  “Maybe we should stop trying to get hold of them,” Candice said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, don’t you think if there was a problem they would have already called us? She’s having the baby first thing tomorrow morning. They know we’re on our way, and yet they haven’t contacted us.”

  Logan didn’t say anything to that. Just let it sink in. Perhaps this was why Candice seemed so calm. No news had to be good news. “Hmm.”

  “I think our best bet is to get other referrals, just in case,” she said. “Have a list of new ones ready by the time we get there. But if our caseworker doesn’t feel there’s a problem, we don’t want to act like there is one. You know?”

  “You’re right,” he said with a nod. Inwardly, Logan felt foolish for not coming to the conclusion before Candice did. The agency received all the letters over a week ago, according to their caseworker. He breathed in a little deeper, let the exhale work to calm his nerves.

  “I can start calling or texting people now,” Candice said. “This way we can at least give them something to counter what Lana said in case it’s an issue.”

  Logan nodded. “I’m hoping the other letters already did that, like you say. But the more we have the better, I guess.”

  Candice got busy right away, working on both her phone and his. Making calls. Sending texts or emails to good friends and acquaintances. With each connection she made, Logan felt the tightness in his shoulders ease, bits at a time. It wasn’t until they drove through a particularly remote part of Wyoming – when she lost phone service completely – that Candice sat back, pried Logan’s right hand from the wheel, and brought it to her lips.

  “Well,” she said, “we’ve done everything we can. Now we wait. Show up at the hospital in the morning, and pray we come home with a baby.”

  He hadn’t missed the way she’d said it. A baby. Not our baby like they’d referred to the first little guy they’d been set to adopt. No name to call him at this point either, at least not one they’d discussed. Logan didn’t mind. They had to protect themselves in some small degree, after all. And with that, Logan did just what Candice suggested. Offered a prayer to the man upstairs that – this time – they’d come home with a new member of their family.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Candice’s eyes flicked open as she heard the beeping of an alarm clock. Alex, she thought. He’ll be born today. Sweet baby Alex. She’d hold him in her arms and kiss his face and hands. She’d watch his fingers curl around hers and remind herself that he’s really theirs.

  She sat up, patted at the covers by her side, and turned to see Logan was already up. Seated in a tall, formal chair by the window, his mind a million miles away.

  “Morning,” she said. “How’d you sleep?”

  He turned to her, dark bags beneath his eyes. “Not too well.”

  She suddenly felt guilty for sleeping so soundly. “Are you worried about things?”

  “Just anxious,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t like it when things are beyond my control. And this whole thing is out of my hands in every way. Makes me crazy.”

  Candice nodded, knowing just what he meant. The sheets snapped with static as she tore them away from her, anxious to comfort him in some way. She walked slowly toward him, paused to grab a mint candy off the dresser, and popped it in her morning-breath mouth. She tucked another into her fist and shuffled closer.

  His gaze stayed set on a distant spot out the window as she took hold of his foot, the one he had propped onto the opposite knee. After setting it gently to the floor, Candice hiked up her nightshirt and climbed onto his lap, straddling him.

  “When did you get dressed?” she asked, nodding to his jeans and T-shirt.

  “Probably an hour ago.”

  That wasn’t good, considering it was only 5:30 then. “Hmm,” Candice sighed, snuggling into him. She tucked her face into the curve of his neck, breathing in his handsome scent. “I really think it’s going to be okay,” she said. “I can’t explain it, but I just do. I don’t feel anxious or sick anymore. I just feel excited. Nervous, too. But mostly I’m just happy.” She straightened up then, looked him in the eye, and unfolded her fist, offering the wrapped mint she held in her hand. “I want you to feel happy too.”

  Logan grinned, creating small lines around his tired eyes. “And this candy is going to help?” he asked, taking the mint from her.

  Candice nodded. “Yep. It’s magic.”

  He lifted a brow – one of her favorite Logan expressions – and snatched the candy from her palm. He tore it from the clear, crinkly wrapper and tossed it in his mouth. After sucking on it for a moment, Logan pulled her toward him again, wrapping his arms around her as he did. “Thank you,” he said. “It’s working already.”

  Candice let her eyes drift shut. It felt nice to be held by him, so nice that she didn’t want to move. It made her glad she’d set the alarm for much earlier than needed. In a while, they’d need to pack up their things and head out. From there, they’d find out just what this day might bring. But for now Candice allowed herself to find peace in the moment, and hope – with all her heart – that things would go well.

  ~+~

  The hospital was familiar in the strangest way. Of course Candice remembered it from their failed adoption date, but she had new, twisted memories of it too. From her nightmares. Florescent lights blaring off the shiny floors. Squeaky shoes and pastel scrubs. Her mouth was dry. Her throat, tight and achy. And her head – it felt like her head had detached from her body, like the floating mylar balloon anchored by the redheaded child they passed in the hall.

  Logan rested a hand on the small of her back. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Candice only nodded, trying to gulp back the fear rising in her throat. She squinted as a woman came into view at the foyer ahead. It was her. The caseworker.

  Oh my gosh, it’s my nightmare. It’s happening again.

  Candice’s hands were in fists. Sweaty fists with nails digging into her palms.

  Please don’t let her say it.

  Please.

  A smile spread over the woman’s face as they neared. “Hello, you two. We’ve had a new development in the last hour. I’d have called you but I knew you were already on your way.”

>   “What is it?” Logan’s voice was raspy and tense.

  “Celeste’s water broke.” The woman went on to explain. “That means we’re a bit ahead of schedule.”

  “So she’s in labor right now?” Candice blurted.

  The woman gave her a smile. “Yes.”

  Candice gasped. “And can we be in there?”

  “Yes,” she repeated with a nod. “Celeste said she’d like you to be in there. Said Dad could even cut the cord.”

  “Really?” Candice felt as if her head had reattached itself. She pulled in a deep breath, filling her lungs as she reassured herself: Everything’s okay. It’s really going to happen this time. Everything will be fine.

  In a blur they sped down the hall, washed up their hands, and stepped into the room. Celeste, the birth mom, lay on the bed, a sterile sheet barely covering the basics. So young. She looked younger than she had on the video chat. And who was this woman standing next to the bed, holding Celeste’s hand? The girl’s mother, Candice realized.

  “She’s dilated to a nine,” the middle-aged woman announced with a smile on her face. “Won’t be long now.”

  “Oh,” the caseworker spoke from behind. “This is Maria, Celeste’s mother. And in case there was any doubt, the one in labor is Celeste.”

  Celeste smiled, causing her flushed cheeks to swell. “Hi.” Beautiful. She was so beautiful. And her mother was too. Silky black hair, dark olive skin, and an unmistakable kindness in her eyes.

  “We’re so happy to finally meet you in person,” Candice said, walking into the room. Logan stood by the doorway, offering a casual wave from a distance.

  “Come on in,” Maria said. “Celeste wants the both of you in here. You can come around by the window and stand at the other side of the bed.”