by Bonnie Lamer
“Did you find the Pixie?” Dagda asks the wheezing Fairy.
“Sure did,” a voice says from the floor. I look down to find Taz trotting into the room. Behind him is Felix. The latter is carrying something in his mouth. Actually, he has something in his teeth and is dragging the rest of it across the floor. It takes me a minute to figure out it is a tiny leg in his mouth and he is dragging the rest of the Pixie, its head bumping up and down on the floor. I open my mouth to tell him how wrong that is. Then I remember not being able to save my father from the vengeful spirit. A little dragging across the floor isn’t going to hurt the thing. Much.
All eyes have found my Familiars. Jaws are dropping like lead weights. No one needs to understand their words to know what is happening. We have a Pixie problem. “Where did you find it?” I ask.
Since Felix’s mouth is full, Taz answers my question. “He was trying to hide by burying himself in the sand. Little bastard nearly clawed Felix’s nose off, but we got him in the end.” He is so proud of himself that I don’t even point out it took two of them to contain a creature whose leg fits easily inside the mouth of a Tasmanian devil. I can tease him about it later. When Pixies are hopefully a thing of the past. At least, in this realm. I don’t mean genocide. At the moment.
Meanwhile, we all drink in the creature which has the potential to wreak so much havoc on our lives. The best description for it is a Brillo pad with arms and legs. It has a mop of hair on its head that looks like a metal scrub brush. Only, it’s green not dark gray. As is its skin. It’s a nice green. Reminds me of the forest. I suppose it helps them camouflage themselves when they are hiding in the woods. Their heads would look like a small bush and their bodies would blend into the surrounding flora. As far as evolution goes, they have done well. Well for magic sucking parasites on the universe, anyway.
“That can steal magic?” Tana says in disbelief.
A little cackle comes from the thing’s mouth and it hisses, “Try me, bi…” A paw is slammed onto its mouth before it can finish. Felix doesn’t like disrespectful beings. He had enough of that in his previous life.
“Rude little bastards,” Garren wheezes from his side of the room. “Should have heard it when we caught it.”
“Has a mouth on it that makes you seem like a ray of sunshine from a Seraphim’s butt,” Taz remarks.
“What a beautiful analogy,” I reply sardonically.
If Tasmanian devils could grin, he would be. “Thanks. Been working on my prose.”
I roll my eyes. Pulling magic, I make a cage. I half expect it to not work, but perhaps the fact that Felix still has a paw over the Pixie’s face keeps it from eating my magic. I am excited until Kallen says, “My love, I do not believe a magical cage can hold these creatures. It is eying your cage like it is a feast.” Oh, yeah. I pull my magic back with a blush.
Tabitha rises from the couch. “I believe I have an old bird cage in the garage. Kallen, come with me.”
Kallen rises with her and I appreciate the view as he passes in front of me and follows Tabitha out of the room toward the back of the house and the garage. We may be in crisis mode but I still ogle his incredible body every chance I get. Glancing around the room when he’s gone, I find everyone else’s eyes are transfixed on the green being on the floor. Actually, it’s more of an aqua color now. I begin to marvel at its ability to change colors when I realize it’s not doing it on purpose. “Um, Felix, I don’t think it can breathe. It’s turning blue.” Or, to be more precise, aqua, since its skin is green.
Grumbling, Felix pulls his paw back. “Keep quiet,” he growls. The Pixie now sounds like Garren when he entered the room, so he’s not going to say much at the moment.
“Will a cage hold it?” I ask Felix.
He nods his little black head. “My Xandra kept several of them.”
I frown down at them. “Why would she keep things that could eat her magic?”
“She kept them. She did not keep them close,” my Familiar explains. “She used them against her enemies.”
Oh. That sounds more like her. “How did she control them?”
“Electric shock collars.”
Great. First I introduce video games and cars to this realm and now I need to introduce stun guns and shock collars. I am quickly becoming one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. “Did she try reasoning with them?”
“Reason with this,” a raspy voice from the floor calls up to me. Wow, that is a universal gesture. Disrespecting others knows no limits, apparently.
“He’s kind of funny,” Kegan snickers.
The Pixie turns to him. “Which neighbor got your woman pregnant? Cause I know your weak ass didn’t do it.”
“Kegan,” Alita says sharply when he tries to leap from the couch. “We need it alive.”
A clattering coming from the direction of the kitchen has us all turning our heads. After a moment, Kallen reenters the room holding a free standing birdcage. Its gilt frame is a bit dusty, but Tabitha is right behind him holding a dust rag. I am not convinced the miserable little creature deserves a dust-free cage, but I bite my tongue. Kegan, however, does not. “You should be making it dirtier, not cleaning it,” he grumbles.
Kallen raises an eye brow in his direction. In an amused voice, he asks, “You and the Pixie are not on the best of terms?”
“It made disparaging remarks,” Dagda explains. Is he trying to hide his own amusement? I bet he won’t be amused when the Pixie insults him.
As if to prove my point, the Pixie says, “Oh, the King of Fairyland has been studying his fancy words. After your vocabulary, you should start working on improving your face.”
“Perhaps they are weaned on sour milk,” Tana notes. I think she’s serious.
“They are all like this. There is rarely enough of a Pixie left after soul cleansing to send on,” Adriel notes. “They also do not live to be very old as they tend to fight and kill each other after such comments.” That explains why they don’t live in large groups.
Surprised about the soul thing, I exclaim, “Really? They are truly that bad?”
She nods and says with a sneer, “Their souls are in a perpetual state of insect, warty toad, Pixie.” I study her for a moment to determine if she is making a joke or not. I really can’t tell.
“You should talk, you look like the cross between a toad and a dead cricket,” the Pixie shoots back at her.
I can’t help but ask, “Why a dead cricket?”
The Pixie, who is still lying supine with its leg in Felix’s mouth, shrugs, “Dead crickets turn brown. Closer to her hair color.” I nod in understanding. This earns me a glare from my Angel friend. Glad I’m not sitting closer, she would probably pinch me. She pinches really hard.
“There, clean enough. Put it in here,” Tabitha says, shaking out her dusty rag.
Reaching down, Kallen grabs the Pixie. Felix is reluctant to let it go, but he’s too short to reach the cage door. Kallen, careful not to give the thing a chance to escape, lifts it to the cage interior. Just as he loosens his grip to pull his hand back, Kallen roars. The Pixie is biting him. The skin between his thumb and index finger is now bleeding profusely. I am impressed by my gorgeous husband’s restraint. Instead of punching the tiny Pixie as I am certain he would like to do, he twaps him along the side of the head a few times with his other hand until the thing lets go. As soon as it releases his skin, he shoves it deeper in the cage and locks the door.
“The wanker doesn’t think that flimsy little lock is going to hold it, does he?” Taz asks me.
“No, of course not,” I hiss, hoping I’m right. The Pixie is rather intelligent. A simple hook lock probably wouldn’t be much of a challenge.
Proving me right, Kallen says to his cousin, “Grab some heavy gauge wire from the utility room.” He is holding the lock on the cage. When the Pixie gets close to his fingers with the intent to bite him again, he twaps him between the wires of the cage. The Pixie falls back on his butt. Maybe Pixies aren’t that smart b
ecause it tries again. Only to end up sprawled on its back this time when Kallen twaps it even harder. I try not to laugh but it is an awful little creature and it deserves what it’s getting.
There is still blood oozing from between Kallen’s thumb and index finger. The magic sucking monster bit him really hard. Pixies must have sharp teeth. Like rats. Ugly, green rats. “Would you like me to heal that before it gets infected?”
Kallen glances down at his hand. “No, it is fine until this is done.”
“Might as well wait until I gnaw his whole damn hand off,” the Pixie growls. A vicious grin spreads across its face. “Then I’ll eat your magic and he’ll live with a stump.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, because we wouldn’t be smart enough to move out of your magic sucking range.”
“Heh, heh, you think I’m alone.”
Well, that just made my day. Confirmation that there is an infestation of some degree. Sighing, I tell him, “Oh no, I never get that lucky.”
I expect another snarky comment. What I don’t expect is for it to scream like a baby and curl up into a ball at the far end of its cage. “Get rid of it!” the Pixie shouts.
I whirl around to find a vengeful spirit zooming through the wall. I, and everyone else in the room who can, throw magic at it. Only for the damn thing to zoom right through the spot where there should have been a magical wall. From the cage, the screaming has turned into laughing. The damn thing ate our magic and the vengeful spirit is now attacking Adriel.
In an impressive feat of anti-gravity motion, Felix leaps through the air and lands on the cage. It tumbles to the floor nearly bringing Kallen with it. The cage door pops open and Felix shoves his face through it, teeth bared and gnashing. The Pixie is back to screaming as Tasmanian devil spittle and drool drenches it. I watch in horror as Felix opens his mouth wider and pulls the Pixie’s head into it, ready to bite down.
“Felix, no!” I cry, racing to the cage.
Kallen wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back. In my ear, he whispers, “It’s a scare tactic.”
Sure as hell doesn’t look like a scare tactic to me. Though, it is pretty scary. I glance up at my husband who is watching the exchange carefully. How can he be so certain Felix isn’t about to rip the Pixie’s head off? I don’t like to think about it, but I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t be the first time Felix killed something, or someone. My doppelgänger had him do atrocious things in their universe. Just as we all fear Tana may slip back into her dark ways, I fear for Felix.
As if reading my mind, Kallen meets my eyes and shakes his head. “That is not who he is anymore.”
Beginning to feel guilty over my lack of confidence in Felix, I relax in Kallen’s arms and force myself to watch the drama playing out in the cage. Behind me, I hear Adriel exorcising the spirit attempting to terrorize her. In front of me, I watch as Felix applies just enough pressure to keep the Pixie in place, but not enough to draw blood. The Pixie’s screams are muted as its face is now pressed against Felix’s tongue. Gross.
After a long, tense moment, the vengeful spirit is gone and Felix pulls back. As soon as its head is free, the Pixie begins flinging curses at my Familiar and shaking the phlegm out of its wiry hair. I wish I could take its voice away. Sensing my wishes, Felix snaps his teeth again and the Pixie scoots back, shutting up in the process. Slowly, very slowly, Felix backs out of the cage. He waits for Kallen to disentangle himself from me so he can secure the cage door again.
“Well, that was exciting,” I muse in relief.
“Um, what did I miss?” Kegan asks from the doorway, a spool of wire in his hands.
I’m surprised when the Pixie is the first to respond. It points an accusing finger at Felix. “He tried to eat me!”
Kegan shrugs. “Good. If he needs condiments to make you taste better, I will be happy to supply them.” He comes farther into the room and hands Kallen the wire. My gorgeous, still bleeding husband begins to wind it in a complicated pattern. I know he’s still bleeding because I now have blood on my shirt from him holding me back a moment ago.
Glancing down at Felix, I ask, “How strong are Pixies?”
“Stronger than any of you,” it snaps.
I snort. “I just watched my Familiar nearly bite your head off. If it wasn’t for his immense self-control, you’d be decapitated right about now and you weren’t exactly fighting him off with brute strength.” Felix trots over to me and sits proudly at my feet. I wonder if he was as concerned about his self-control as I was.
“The beast caught me by surprise. Bring him back here and I’ll show you how strong I am.” I just roll my eyes.
“They are not very strong physically,” Felix says, confirming my suspicions. “But, they make up for it in wiliness and determination.” Of course they do.
After Kallen rights the cage, Dagda moves close to it. “How many others are here?”
“Thousands,” the Pixie responds with glee.
“Pixies lie,” Adriel says through chattering teeth. She is rubbing her arms and shivering after her latest spirit attack has frozen her blood.
If they do, I can’t feel it. Then again, if they are not affected by magic, my magical lie detector can’t detect their lies. I already hate Pixies. Shaking my head, I say to the Pixie, “You lie, you steal, and you’re violent. Don’t you guys have mothers who try to teach you right from wrong?”
“My mother taught me how to bite.” The Pixie snaps its teeth together for emphasis.
“Pixie mothers abandon their babes after birth,” Felix informs me.
My mouth drops open. “How do they survive?”
“We’re not whiny, weak skinned, titty sucking, unintelligent blobs like you are at birth.”
Before I even realize I’m doing it, I shoot magic forward. Flames erupt in the cage and the Pixie yelps. Granted, it simply needs to inhale my magic to put the flames out, but I did manage to singe its hair. Only because I caught it by surprise, I am sure. So, with enough magic and surprise, they can be affected. Good to know. It is frantically patting the smoking spot on its head. “You are a crazy bi…!” It doesn’t finish the word when it hears the warning growl from Felix. With a sneer, it says to my Familiar, “Like you could get in the cage now.” Yet, despite its words, it reaches behind itself and tests the integrity of the bars, making certain they are Tasmanian devil proof. I don’t think they are.
Trying to move the conversation in a more productive direction, Isla says matter-of-factly, “There are not thousands of you. I doubt there are hundreds. I believe only a handful are here. Who sent you?”
“Nobody sent us,” the Pixie scoffs. “We came on our own. Heard the magic here was tasty.” Adriel is right, Pixie’s do lie. I can’t tell by magic, but I can tell by its body language it isn’t telling the truth. Its little eyes shift and the corner of its mouth has a slight tic when it is telling a lie. Also good to know.
There may not be hundreds or thousands of them here, but there are more than this one. “Hey, Taz, now that you have their scent, why don’t you go find more.”
My Familiar is not thrilled by my request. “You do realize it’s dark and cold out there, right? Why chase them when they will come to us eventually on their own?”
I try not to roll my eyes. I do not want the Pixie to know there is dissention in the ranks. Pixies should be no better at understanding my Familiars than anyone else is. After all, it is magic that lets me understand them and Pixies are immune to magic. For the most part. My little flame thing proved they can be somewhat affected if caught unawares. “Fine, you can eat one for every one you bring back.”
Taz snorts. “Like I’d dull my teeth on something green.”
“No!” the Pixie shouts from its cage and I turn to it in surprise. “One more! That’s it!”
What is going on here? Why is it suddenly so scared when having its head in Felix’s mouth barely rattled it? I glance up at Kallen and I see knowledge in his eyes. “It has a mate,” my husband explains.
“A mate?” I repeat. I turn to Adriel. “Do they care about their mates?”
She shrugs. “That is about the only thing they do care about.”
Very good to know. We suddenly have leverage. I nudge Taz’s fat, bacon made body with my foot. “Go get its mate.” With great reluctance, and words I shall not repeat, he waddles from the room at the direct opposite of breakneck speed.
“Do not hurt him!” the Pixie screeches after Taz.
“Him?” I thought the one in the cage was a ‘him’. Are the Pixies as gender neutral as the Sasquatch?
“Yes, him, you dimwitted bag of easily breakable bones.” Hmm, I suspect there was a threat in there.
Dagda continues Isla’s line of questioning now that we have one answer. “How did you get here? Who sent you and are they sending more of you?”
“Nobody,” the Pixie hisses.
Dagda takes a menacing step toward the cage. “Tell me or the Tasmanian devil will seem like a kitten.”
My biological father finds it difficult to school his face when the Pixie laughs. “You? Scary?”
Felix begins to move toward the cage but stops when Tana passes us. All of our curiosity is peeked when she kneels in front of the cage, close enough to be attacked, and says in a deceptively soft voice, “Look at me, then. I have seen and done things that made gods cringe. I have personally tortured bodies and souls until they were writhing in pools of their own agony, pleading for death. And I have enjoyed it to the very bottom of my being. If you do not tell us what we want to know, I will give you just a small taste of what I am capable of by bringing your mate before you flayed, demented and breathing his last breath. Then, I will keep him alive long enough for him to watch me do the same to you.”
First, we need a hell of a lot more information about what Tana did while she was away. Because if any of that is true, we have not asked enough questions. Second, I am terrified of her at the moment. I can’t tell if she is telling the truth or if she is putting on a show. If it is a show, it is a damn good one. A quick glance around the room and I know I am not the only one in an uneasy state of shock and awe. The Fairy needs some serious therapy to manage all the grief and pain she is carrying around and I plan to discuss that with my biological father in the very near future.
