“It’s your time now,” Krishani said.
“It’s your time now,” the Ferryman repeated. His head slumped into the grass, his eyes frozen. Krishani let out a sob as the wispy smoke began rising out of the Ferryman. He hung his head and recited a blessing from his childhood. Everything happened too fast; he was unprepared. Shaken with grief, he wanted to return home, stay in Avristar, but he knew the chances were slim.
He opened his eyes and saw sheets below him. He sat and glanced around the room, making sure none of the enemies followed him. There was nothing but silence, no wispy smoke, no battle cries. He breathed a short sigh of relief and tossed the blanket off his legs. He hung his feet off the bed and buried his head in his hands.
The Ferryman is dead ...and I’m the next.
His body ached as he stood and paced the room. He felt flush with fear, resentment, and anger for the carelessness of the Ferryman. He put his hands behind his head and squeezed his eyes shut. This couldn’t be happening. First Kaliel and now him? His life was unraveling before he had a chance to live it. He let out a long exhale and looked at the bed. He could try to rest and pretend it didn’t happen, but he was afraid he would be brought back to the same place. He shook his head and fled into the corridors, moving quickly towards the orchards.
The moon hung above the trees, showering the apples in silvery moonlight. His heart thumped as fast as a rabbit as the depth of the dream hit him. He walked through the rows and rows of apple trees, stretching his fingers out to brush the leaves as he passed. He paused beside one of the trees and reached down to pick up an apple. He couldn’t organize his thoughts enough to speak, so he stood there with the jumbled mess of words in his head. He glanced at the moon.
“It was only a dream.” He tried to convince himself, but he knew it wasn’t true. There had been so many of these dreams, each one following the same Ferryman, the same work. He barely understood the reason he was chosen, but he knew what the work entailed. He shuddered at the thought of it.
He hung his head and looked at the grassy path at his feet. An overwhelming feeling of helplessness washed over him as he reluctantly turned back to the castle. He looked at the widened path between the trees and saw a figure standing on the main road. She was a silhouette under the night sky, but Krishani knew who it was. He begrudgingly dragged himself towards her as she crossed her arms and waited.
“It’s too late to be out, Lady,” Krishani said.
Atara sighed. She had sensed his grief from her quarters and came to find out what the matter was. There had been plenty of other nights like this one since Kaliel had gone to Nandaro, but this was the first time she planned on confronting Krishani about it. Their relationship was something she didn’t want to prevent. It was so easy to watch the feorns fall in love, easy to watch the fae play their games, but the elvens with their stoic attitude and attention to detail and duty? It wasn’t forbidden as much as it was unheard of. She might have been arranged to marry Istar because of their sovereignty to the land, but the heart was complex. She could tell Krishani’s connection to Kaliel went further than his physical form—she was in his soul. “Aye, too late,” she said. “Why are you here?”
“Only a nightmare. I’m sorry to disturb you,” he said.
Atara took a deep breath. “Istar says you have many of those. Tell me, what are they about?” She eyed the boy and felt guilty for sending Kaliel away. In the weeks the girl had been gone, Krishani had grown melancholy. She worried about him and the overwhelming grief leaking off his aura in bright flares.
Krishani shook his head and tried to step around her. “Death.”
Atara shivered, partially from the cool air, and partially from the words of her partner’s apprentice. She turned and watched him quicken his pace. “Stop,” she called after him. There was something behind his eyes; a different sort of sorrow he had been struck with, like an arrow to his heart.
Krishani paused and clenched his fist. He turned around. “What will you have me say?”
“A dream is not a dream. Tell me what happened.” She clasped her hands together and held them in front of her. She wanted to believe the corruption in the Lands of Men would come to an end, that the Valtanyana would be silenced before they could gain enough power to destroy entire realms. She wanted to believe in peace and she wanted to live in her dreamy fairytale life, a life that stretched centuries behind her, a life that hadn’t seen war since the First Era.
Krishani looked at the moat and then back at the elder like he was contemplating his words. “I watched the Ferryman die.”
Every part of him broke as he admitted it. He turned back to the moat. She froze. Another death. What Istar said was true—the foe was out there. She recalled her last conversation with Istar—the boy was a Ferryman. The dream was his calling. Compassion flooded her heart. “Oh child, I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” he whispered.
She knew what he wanted her to tell him—the same thing she had longed to tell Kaliel about Lotesse— tell them it was all a dream. There was nothing to worry about in the Lands of Men, nothing to be scared about what they would become. But none of that was true. For now, Avristar was still in peace, but for how much longer, she didn’t know.
“You know what this will mean,” she said. She thought back to Krishani’s childhood and the rumors of his greatness. He was one of the chosen ones from the beginning. He had a purpose to fulfill.
“Kaliel ...” Krishani took a step towards the moat, paused and met Atara’s eyes. “Do you think there’s a chance?” There was a weak sense of hope in his voice.
Atara sighed. “Nay, your destiny is greater than your love.” She said the words because they were the truth, but the way he looked at her like it was poison washing over him made her wish she hadn’t said it at all. He turned towards the castle and walked in silence.
“I could brew you a potion for your insomnia,” Kuruny said. She leaned against the railing of the balcony opposite the corridor to Krishani’s room.
Krishani glanced at her smug face and narrowed his eyes at her. “Leave me alone, Kuruny,” he spat. He turned to the corridor as she let out a short laugh.
“Is it your precious Kaliel? I could make you forget all about her.”
Krishani clenched his fist and then released it. There was no point in bothering Kuruny with the details of his dream; she was always lurking in the castle, always looking for her moment. “You know nothing about love.” His emotions battered around inside him, pain etching into his heart as he tried to stave off his grief.
Kuruny let out a snort. “Love isn’t real.” She pushed off the balcony and sauntered towards him. She looked like she wanted to reach out and touch him, make him bend to her will, but he hunched up, trying to shield himself from her. He said nothing, and she continued. “If love were real, my potions wouldn’t make men forget their pain.”
“I don’t want to forget my pain.” He moved down the corridor away from her. He tightened his fists again and closed his eyes. Pain lit up every nerve in his body with sharp stings that turned into numbness. All he really wanted to do was escape to Nandaro, but it was so big and there was no guarantee he would find Kaliel before Istar found him. No chance he wouldn’t be carted off to the Lands of Men before seeing her one last time. The sickness he felt at having to leave her made him want to rip himself in half.
Kuruny turned her nose up in apparent disgust. “You’re so petulant. I offer my help, no strings attached, and you would rather stink up the castle with your grief.” She crossed her arms and willed him to look back at her.
Krishani kept his eyes to the ground. There was darkness lurking inside of him that threatened to lash out and attack her. He took a deep breath and tried to calm the beast within. “Your potions come with consequences.”
“They didn’t mind the consequences in the Lands of Men.” She sounded like she would’ve liked to have stayed in the Lands of Men had they not cursed her for trying to help them.
Krishani perked up at the mention of the Lands of Men. His expression softened and he dared a glance at her. “What are they like?”
She laughed. “Some make you sleep, some make you happy, and some make you imagine things that aren’t real.”
He frowned. “Not the potions, the Lands of Men. What are they like?”
She grimaced, a twisted smile forming on her face. She let out a nervous laugh. “Why would it matter? Nobody is going there for a long time.”
Krishani sighed. “That’s no longer true.” He looked at the cream carpet under his feet. It was awkward he was sharing anything with Kuruny.
She frowned. “It’s corrupted with war and chaos. Not even I want to be there right now.” He knew she left out the fact she didn’t want to be in Avristar either. “Something very bad has happened to you,” she said.
Krishani nodded, cautious. “I can’t talk about it.”
“The Lands of Men are full of betrayers and liars and scum of the land. Men who would rather kill you than help you. You’re either on one side of the battle or on the other. Many of us barely escaped with our lives. It’s self-destruction if you go.”
Fear hit him as he processed her words. “I can’t change that, I’ve been called.” The words tore him apart inside as he spoke them.
Kuruny stared at him in disbelief. “You’re barely trained to protect yourself. How will you help anyone?”
Krishani thought she was pondering how quickly he would die, and what he had done to make Avristar so angry she would send him to said death. Instead of continuing, she sized him up, baffled. He shrugged. “You care little, if anything, for me. Why this concerns you so greatly, I don’t know.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about. The men turned on us without warning. This corruption ...I’m afraid ...” Krishani glared at her. “I worry it’s reaching Avristar.”
Krishani pounded his fist against the wall. He made a sound between a sob and a growl. “I have to leave her,” he said quietly as he pounded the wall again. “I have to leave her and Avristar will do nothing to stop it.” He paused to catch his breath, but his throat was sticky with tears. “Neither will Atara, neither will anyone. I have no choice but to leave and face my fate.” He kicked the wall and sunk to his knees. “I doubt they will even let me say goodbye.”
Kuruny looked like she didn’t know what to do or what to say. She was silent for several moments as he kneeled on the ground, shaking in agony. Finally she said, “You should get some rest.” Her voice sounded ragged and hollow and he hoped she deeply regretted toying with him.
Krishani said nothing in response. He brought himself to his feet and dragged himself into his room.
Krishani stirred hours after Melianna’s fourth call. He rose only to find himself wearing the same thing from the night before, and added only his cloak to the ensemble. He headed down the corridors towards Istar’s quarters. Many people bustled through the castle just like any other day, everyone busy working or performing some task. Not feeling like talking to anybody, he tried to be invisible as he found Istar’s study in the lower east corner of the castle.
He went to knock, but Istar opened the door and quickly ushered him in, mumbling something about his incredible tardiness as he closed the door. Krishani felt awkward as he stood in the common room, unsure if he should sit or continue standing. Istar moved about, but there was something unusual about the man. He seemed anxious and worried at the same time. He paced the floor, stopped and looked Krishani in the eye. “You weren’t born in Avristar,” he said.
Krishani gulped. He knew that already, waited to hear more. Istar sighed and continued to pace back and forth. “Adoron found you in the forests of Amersil, like every other Child of Avristar, and we took you as one of our own ...but, you are not a Child of Avristar.”
Krishani cringed. “Where am I from?”
Istar shook his head. “That’s irrelevant.”
He looked down, a bigger pit forming in his gut. “How did you know?”
Istar ignored the comment. “There is no mention of the Ferryman, his purpose, his kinship. Nothing exists in the Great Library.”
He mustered a tiny smile. “Maybe it’s all a dream, and I’m not the Ferryman.”
Istar furrowed his brow and continued pacing the floor. “Nay, you cannot ignore it.” He shook his head, seeming deep in thought. “Perhaps the knowledge was hidden for a reason. Perhaps it was removed from the library for the safety of the Ferrymen.” He scanned a shelf filled with crystal balls and pendulums.
Krishani felt sadness slide into him. Despite his earlier defiance, he hung his head. There would be consequences if he rebelled against Avristar herself. He hadn’t thought about it before, betraying the land, but it wasn’t something he was ready to do. Not without first trying to talk his way out of leaving. “I trust your judgment and that of Avristar. What will you have me do?”
Istar averted his attention to the matter at hand and sighed. Krishani knew the severity of the situation. “We will consult the Gatekeeper and you will heed the call.” He put his hands on Krishani’s shoulders and looked him deep in the eyes. “You have been chosen. There is no doubt the Ferryman is of great importance. One day you will return to Avristar.” He made it sound as though the time away wouldn’t cause never-ending agony.
Krishani’s stomach churned as he thought of the Lands of Men. Istar pulled away from him. “Kuruny,” Krishani began cautiously, knowing Istar would be displeased hearing about her. He knew what Kuruny and her sisters had been subjected to. He had a bitter taste in his mouth over the events forcing more kinfolk to return to Avristar indefinitely. With all his sorrow he hadn’t thought about how much fuller the castle walls were becoming. “She told me the Lands of Men are dangerous.”
Istar frowned, and then smiled lightly and chuckled a little. “You’re the Ferryman. What I’ve taught you will prove to be your guide to the tasks that lay ahead of you.”
Krishani let out a breath, and solemnly nodded. “Thank you,” he said, though it felt forced. Even though he kept his head and kept her out of the conversation, Kaliel was the only thing he was really worried about. What would happen to her? To them? Istar was cold and Atara was clearly set against their relationship. It seemed so bleak.
Istar smiled. “Come, there is much to be done before we can consult the Gatekeeper.”
Kaliel pinched the ribbon on her shoe and twisted it back and forth. Since returning from the lake, she had given Mallorn a chance, but their lessons hadn’t helped much. Weeks passed and Winter Solstice approached, the longest night of the year. She tightly hugged her cloak to her shoulders as a gust of wind ripped through the trees. She sat on the mound, staring at the creek. The images of the dream wouldn’t fade; they stuck to her memory like crusted tree sap, forever crystallized in amber. It was late afternoon, the sky covered in gorgeous shades of pink. She pushed her back into the grass and stared at the treetops, the sky and its beautiful shades of blue and magenta.
A smile tickled her lips as she thought of Pux. He added the pink to the sky. It was a familiar reminder of easier days. Her mind drifted to Orlondir, the waterfall, and her heart swelled with longing for Krishani. Lately, her thoughts of him were tainted by fear of the dream. It was so clear those eyes were his eyes, but why couldn’t she remember? There was a life before this life, one that seemed so far away the only remnants of it were the sketches in her journal and that dream. She couldn’t make sense of it; the end of the war, the warning of the Great Oak, the danger of the foe hunting her kind. She couldn’t have been given a heavier burden in life, and all she had ever wanted was freedom.
There was movement behind her. She sat up and looked around as Mallorn approached with his staff.
“Another lesson, then.” He dropped another staff on the ground and crossed the creek. She stood, grabbed the staff, brushed off her ivory dress and followed him into the forests. Mallorn used his walking stick to tap against the trees. Kaliel wondered what he was d
oing. He slowed to a stop and planted the walking stick firmly in the ground.
“I have organized a series of words, Kaliel. Every time I tap my stick against the trunk of the tree, I want you to tap into my mind and retrieve the word. Simple enough?” His eyes were stern.
She was uneasy. “Do you need to tap the tree?”
Mallorn smirked. “I will be gentle.”
She nodded, and he turned around. She pulled a face, overwhelmed with the task. He walked a bit before he tapped a tree. She closed her eyes and moved with her mind, listening for his voice in her head. Tree. She was disappointed with the results.
“Tree,” she said.
He laughed. “Right! See? It won’t be hard.”
The exercise continued for awhile, and parts of it lifted her spirits. They went through �rabbit,’ �horse,’ �tea,’ �honey,’ �lake,’ �leaf,’ and a few others before it came to an end. They were far from his cabin in a part of Nandaro she didn’t recognize. She looked around. The grass was a dark green and the trees were slightly thicker. The smell of hazelnuts was distinct in the air.
Mallorn paused, nodding. “Good.”
Kaliel was getting tired.
Mallorn swung his walking stick up to a diagonal position, holding it with both hands in front of his chest. He nodded at her to do the same.
“Now, we learn defense,” he said.
Slowly, he moved his walking stick towards hers, and made cross-contact with it, lightly tapping the wood. Kaliel leaned back, allowing him to do it. She hadn’t experimented with combat before and this made her uncomfortable.
“No,” he shouted. He let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head.
Kaliel only widened her eyes, unsure how to act.
Mallorn pulled away and dropped the stick, then lunged out just a few steps from her, holding it diagonally across his midsection. “Copy my stance.”
She took a step forward, not quite a lunge, and maneuvered the stick so it was diagonally across her chest, mirroring Mallorn. She felt like an idiot for not being able to follow his instructions, and there was the ever-pressing threat of other things on her mind. This seemed so frivolous since it wasn’t like she’d master anything. She already knew fighting the foe wasn’t going to help her.
SURRENDER (The Ferryman + The Flame) Page 23
