by London Casey
“Open your fucking eyes,” Erik said. “Kaity! Now!”
“I hate you,” Kaity cried as tears ran down her cheeks. “I fucking hate you.”
“Kaity,” Erik yelled. “Wake the fuck up, babe.”
Erik shook the bed, forcing all his weight to Kaity’s slender body. He feared breaking one of her ribs or one of her wrists, but, damn, what was he supposed to do? She was going to hurt herself in this nightmare.
Erik called her name two more times and then Kaity’s eyes opened. She gasped for air and screamed. Erik let his grip go and Kaity grabbed his t-shirt and pulled. She sat herself up and buried her face into his chest. Erik fell back to the other end of the bed, taking Kaity with him.
He held her and she cried.
He swallowed hard, stroked her hair, and felt his heart racing.
What the fuck…?
After a minute of trying to assess what the hell had just happened, Erik reached down and put his hands to Kaity’s face. He forced her off his now wet t-shirt and stared down into her eyes. Instantly, she made a move. Lunging up at him, Kaity’s lips touched Erik’s. He lost himself for a moment and kissed her back. Their mouths opened together and he kissed her hard.
But then Erik stopped.
“Wait,” he said. “You have to tell me what the fuck just happened.”
“Nothing,” Kaity said.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Erik said. “Fucking tell me, Kaity.”
“Don’t. Just, please, don’t.”
“I will,” Erik said. “You were screaming. Hitting me. Who the hell is Brad?”
When Erik saw the color leave Kaity’s face, he thought she was going to pass out. She shivered and tried to back up but Erik wouldn’t allow it.
“Fuck, babe, you have two choices. The right choice is to tell me who Brad is. The wrong choice is to lie to me. You want to hide? Do it outside. You see the fucking shit I’m up against. What the club is up against.”
Kaity lowered her head. “Will you tell me about your face?”
“My face? You’re bringing that up right now?”
“I want to know everything. I’m sorry, Erik. But I want to know.”
“So do I.”
“Please…”
Kaity looked at Erik and her lips quivered.
Christ…
“I don’t know who did it,” Erik said. “That’s what we’re trying to find out. Someone has it out for Shay and I ended up on the wrong end of it. Now it’s a club problem and they know it is. That’s why things are happening as they are.”
“Shay?”
“Wild man out there that talks funny.”
“Yeah, I know,” Kaity said. “Just how did you get hurt then?”
“Shay bought a new car. Brought it to the clubhouse and got out of it. He went to celebrate with the rest of the guys and I climbed into the backseat to check it out. Beautiful black car. I heard a ticking sound, followed by a hiss, and then it was… boom.”
“Boom?”
“Car blew up. Shay was supposed to be in it when it happened. It threw me back, ripped up my face, and I hit the ground so hard, it knocked me into last Tuesday. I remember most of it, but then I was in the hospital for a while. Healing. Thinking. Getting angrier. When I got out and there was no clue who did it, I went downhill.”
“You’re here now though,” Kaity said.
Erik took note how her hands gripped him. It was like she was trying to hold him.
“You don’t get it,” Erik said. “I’m here but most of the time, I wish I was gone.”
“In a different club?”
“Dead.” Erik made a gun with his fingers and pretended to pull the trigger against his temple.
“Oh.”
“Sorry, babe. It’s not some rockstar fantasy around here. Look from the outside and it might seem cool and shit, but live this life and you get what life really is. Everyday I look in the mirror I see the shit I’ve gone through. I get asked all the time about my face. People stare. People judge. It fucking pisses me off because I have no one to retaliate against for the scars. Yet.”
Kaity lifted one of her hands and touched the scars. “It doesn’t bother me at all.”
“Yeah, I picked up on that. Why?”
“We all have scars, Erik. Some are hidden, some aren’t. Who cares?”
“I do,” Erik said. “How’s that for a fucking answer?”
Kaity kept her hand at his face. “What about Shay? Are you angry with him?”
“Why would I be?” Erik asked. “This is our life. Our world. Sometimes we take a bullet, sometimes we take a bomb. You damn near got yourself killed almost taking a bullet for the club.”
“That bullet was for you,” Kaity said.
Erik turned his head. He had to look away. Kaity had gone from some woman who needed a ride, and would maybe be a decent fuck, to someone who dug into him and pushed him like no one else. Now Erik held her in his bed, tears in her eyes, and he actually wanted to hear what she had to say. He wanted to help her.
eighteen.
Kaity ran her hand down Erik’s face and didn’t stop until she touched his shoulder. The muscle was like steel. It made her squirm in her panties, feeling uncomfortable because of how turned on and wet she was. Yet it felt like they were having a moment, or maybe they weren’t. Kaity didn’t know what to do or what to think about this.
“That’s all there is to it,” Erik said. “We hired a guy to help us and that guy ended up kidnapped. And now two of his fingers have been delivered to us.”
“You didn’t get the guy?”
Erik shook his head. “It was another set up. We tracked the car down and it was some older guy's house. He was stabbed.”
“Is he dead?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit.”
Kaity swallowed hard. She hung her head and tears filled her eyes again. There was so much death and violence, yet Kaity didn’t want to leave. In the comfort of Erik’s arms, the death, the violence, the never knowing what waited, didn't seem all that bad.
“I need to know about you,” Erik said. “Right now.”
Kaity squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. Of course one of the nightmares would cause this to happen. Usually she would wake up in the backseat of her car and comfort herself. Now she had someone else to comfort her.
Erik touched her chin and forced her to look at him.
“Open your fucking eyes,” Erik whispered. “I need to know everything. Who is Brad? Are you in trouble?”
Kaity opened her eyes and a stray tear escaped. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Convince me.”
“He’s dead,” Kaity said.
Erik nodded. “That’s pretty convincing. Who is he?”
“I didn’t work for him,” Kaity said, “but I helped. That’s important to know.”
“Why?”
“Because Brad was a detective.”
The entire mood in the room shifted. The comforting, warm feeling was suddenly gone. Erik leaned back and put his hands to Kaity’s shoulders, keeping her at length.
“Say that again,” Erik said.
“No.”
“You were an informant?”
“I don’t know.”
“Better yet, you were a rat?”
“I helped,” Kaity said. “Because I needed money. It was something I enjoyed… or at least I thought I did.”
“Why?”
“Because Brad promised me a good life.”
“A job or his cock?”
“Sometimes both,” Kaity said. “Sometimes just one. I don’t know.”
“You fucking stuck your nose in business that wasn’t yours.”
“It was serious stuff. Drugs. Murder. Abuse. That kind of stuff.”
“You weren’t on the payroll?”
“No. They were all back door deals.”
“How did you meet this guy?”
“I travel a lot,” Kaity said. “Okay? I’m always on the ru
n. I think for myself. But I can’t get away from myself. One night I was sitting in my car and two cars pulled up near me. Next thing I knew, there was a tied up woman being exchanged and I found myself getting involved. I pretended to be drunk and stumbled around the scene after I called the police. Guess who I met then?”
“Yeah, I can fucking guess,” Erik said.
“Brad offered to pay me on the side to get involved. I enjoyed the work. It made me feel like I had a purpose. He told me that if I did just one more thing… he would pull me from being undercover and give me an actual position. Full pay, benefits, recognition. All that bullshit.”
“When did you first fuck him?”
“After someone I got close to was killed,” Kaity admitted. “There was a young woman who was hooked on drugs. I tried to save her and had her convinced to get into rehab. So the night of the big bust, we were supposed to save her. Her dealer shot and killed her, fingering her as a rat.”
“But you were the rat,” Erik said.
“Yeah. I carry that guilt everyday.”
“And you just let this guy fuck you?”
“It wasn’t like that. Brad shot and killed two men that night. We ended up at a bar and then at his place.”
“How long?”
“The sex?” Kaity smiled.
Erik wasn't buying it. His hand started to slide near her throat, a silent warning not to fuck around right now.
“It was a long time, okay? There were times he threatened me. He never actually abused me. But he fucked with me. He would bring me in close and then push me away. I found out he had other women in his life but convinced myself it didn’t matter because he made me feel like I was the most important. The jobs got more and more dangerous and the promises got bigger. Then we were wrapped up in a big drug and gun ring. I was playing the part of a broken woman, how fitting for me. Brad was undercover too, which made no sense. By the time it was all said and done, Brad ended up shot and killed. The bust was fucked up and that was it.”
Katey hung her head, still hiding the darkest truth.
“Fucked up?” Erik asked. He touched Kaity’s face.
“It was fucked up. The bust. Everything went crazy and I ended up standing behind Brad. I had a gun in my hand… he turned and saw me, smiling. I could see it in his eyes that he was going to kill me. Kill me and I’d end up as some woman dead. No name. No story.”
“Oh, shit,” Erik whispered.
Kaity nodded. “So I shot first. I killed him. I killed Brad.”
Kaity’s body shook. She never spoke those words before. She never confessed to anyone what really happened that night.
“Damn, baby,” Erik said. “That’s okay. You took care of yourself.”
“I did,” Kaity said. “But the memory… I think he’s coming for me still.”
“He won’t. Dead is dead, baby. What happened with the police department?”
“That’s when I found out I had no ties to the police department. Brad never mentioned me. There was no formal paperwork. I was just some woman. The only thing I was given was a few bucks by another detective and told to go away. So I did.”
“And the nightmares?”
“He made it very clear that if that last bust went wrong, he would hurt me. Somewhere in my mind I keep thinking he’s bigger than death. By the time I killed him, Brad had a serious drinking problem. I try to blame that for his death, but it was me. I pulled the trigger. I saw the moment and seized it.”
“But you didn’t,” Erik said. “You were tough undercover, right?”
“No. It’s not like that. Fuck, Erik, I have nothing to do with anything. I’ve been on the run since. I keep thinking he’s coming to kill me. I fucked up my car… because I parked in a used car lot and someone saw me. I drove away as the guy ran after me and I almost crashed the car. I didn’t plan to come here, yet here I am.”
“I didn’t plan for it either,” Erik said. “And here you are.”
Kaity leaned back and felt numb. She missed her car. She missed the open road. She stared at Erik and could sense the hate and pain in his eyes.
“If it means anything, I hate myself too,” Kaity whispered. “I wish I could die. I fear death only because I think it will allow Brad to get to me. Is that fucked up?”
“Yeah, it is,” Erik whispered. “Very fucked up.”
Kaity touched Erik’s hand. Her fingers tightened and she pulled. Erik’s hand moved. Reliving those old demons made Kaity's stomach churn. She took Erik’s hand and placed it to her chest.
“What the fuck…”
“Don’t talk,” Kaity whispered. “Just… do…”
Kaity put her head back and felt Erik’s hand squeeze her. She hurried to move her legs, opening them. Her jeans suddenly felt constricting. Her moist panties clung to her. When Kaity looked at Erik again he was coming at her. She fell back to the bed again, her mouth open, waiting. When she felt Erik’s hot breath on her neck, she moaned. His lips touched, once, twice, then were gone.
“Look at me,” Erik ordered.
Kaity looked at Erik. He curled his lip as he touched her face. She couldn’t tell if he was angry or horny. Probably both. Not that it mattered to Kaity. Erik’s hand moved to the back of her neck and he pulled her in and kissed her. Kaity clawed at his shirt and tore it off his perfect body. Erik's chiseled body hovered over her. Tattoos covered his arms and chest, but in the dark room Kaity couldn’t make out what the ink said. Her hands were busy pulling at Erik’s belt buckle, wanting him naked and inside her.
Erik ran his hands up Kaity's stomach. His fingers were greedy, slicing right under her bra. He held her bare breasts and grunted.
“Fuck,” he groaned.
“Yes. Right now.”
Erik took his hands away and went to work on Kaity’s jeans. Kaity ripped her shirt and bra off while Erik opened her jeans and pulled at them. She watched Erik slither down the bed, jeans in his hands. He moved his hands up her legs and touched her panties. Kaity thrust up and whimpered. Erik peeled them from her ready body. When his hands came up again, he cut straight to the insides of her legs. The tips of his fingers touched her wet slit and Kaity let out a cry.
“Go ahead and scream,” Erik said. “Nobody will give a fuck.”
Erik thrust two fingers into Kaity and she arched her back. The pleasure overtook the pain and regret. This was why she ended up in bed with Brad. This exact feeling and reason. Because pleasure took away reality. It was the same reason the guys in the MC fucked so many women. In all honesty, Kaity's life wasn’t that much different from Erik’s.
His fingers exited her body and his hands moved up. Kaity felt a streak of her own moisture deposited to her side from Erik’s fingers. Her grabbed her breasts again and then was gone. Moving from the bed, Erik stood tall and strong. He dropped his pants, his cock popping free, long and hard. Erik opened the nightstand drawer and took out a condom. He opened it and Kaity felt bold. She grabbed the condom and held it in her hand. There was a split second when she considered just throwing the condom aside. Although she wasn't sure what that would imply; maybe it would show that she was giving everything to Erik. Trusting him. Chancing risk. Or maybe it would show that she didn't give a fuck at all.
Kaity placed the condom to Erik’s tip. She sheathed him with her hand, rolling the condom down, her hand barely able to grip Erik’s thickness. When the condom was on, Kaity lightly ran her hand down his leg.
Erik climbed the bed and was between Kaity’s legs. His thumbs grazed her nipples and then his hands grabbed Kaity’s arms and put them above her head. His hands slid up until he touched her hands. Their fingers interlocked and Kaity felt her heart swell. That was the exact moment she knew she needed Erik off her. This wasn’t sex. This wasn’t a quick fuck. This wasn't even passion. It was beyond it. Kaity knew the second Erik thrust into her, she was going to fall for him.
No, no, no…
Erik’s hands gripped tight. He placed his cock to Kaity’s welcoming body. He ap
plied pressure and started to enter her. Kaity groaned and told herself to shake her head.
Tell him no. Tell him to get off…
Kaity couldn’t control herself. Erik thrust once and sank into her. A second hard thrust connected his body to hers. He was as deep as deep could be. Kaity felt herself clenching at him, warm, wet, tight, and ready to explode. Erik lowered his face to Kaity’s, his nose touching hers, his teeth gritting as he grunted. Kaity let out a shaky breath and thrust up, wanting more.
Erik slowly pulled back and thrust again.
It was so good.
Kaity wanted to hold him. She wanted to claw him. She kept his mouth near hers. They randomly kissed. Sometimes she kissed his cheek. Sometimes Erik’s tongue touched her cheek before she moved her head and kissed him.
The sex was more than amazing. Even when Kaity felt herself beginning to orgasm, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t just about finishing at that point. It meant so much more. With each thrust from Erik, Kaity moaned. She was lost in him and if this was what waited for her with Erik, she never wanted to return to reality.
“Yes,” she managed to whimper as Erik ran his nose along her neck.
He inched down more and more until his lips ran over her right nipple. Her body tightened and tingled everywhere. Erik grunted, fighting through the tightness between Kaity’s legs. She had never experienced climaxes back to back so quickly before, at least not until Erik rolled her nipple between his teeth. That tingling sensation mixed with the stinging pain was all Kaity’s body could handle. She curled up and opened her mouth to cry out. She managed a weak groan before all the air was sucked out of her body. Kaity closed her eyes. She gently bit Erik’s shoulder, and he held her as she came. It could have lasted a few seconds or a few minutes, but when it was done, Kaity fell back to the bed, trying to catch her breath.
But Erik wasn’t done yet.
The thrusting continued. Kaity’s body moved. Her breasts bounced. Her hands turned and found comfort gripping the sheets. She dug her heels into the bed and lifted herself for him. He was going so fast and deep. Sweat glistened on Erik’s beautiful body. He looked slippery and sexy, smelling like man and sex. Kaity couldn’t believe what she felt next.
