I shot him a quick, hard look.
"I...imagine he'll go back up through Indian Territory, when he leaves here – back to your old home place to visit – the graves."
My heart quickened at his words. How often had I dreamed of traveling back north to my home? To say a proper farewell? To be sure Mama's grave was there, and put one of her flowers on it? I already knew what Jacobi was angling at...but I wasn't ready to agree to anything.
"Would you...consider going with him just that far? It might be a compromise you could both live with." He fell silent a moment, then said, "You've never been back. It might be something you want to do for yourself, son."
Part of me said I never wanted to see that place again. Reliving that day was too painful. Yet, I would never forget it as long as I drew breath. Somehow, I needed to make peace with myself over what had happened, and that feeling of helplessness that was so hard to overcome, even now, when I thought about it.
Maybe I should go that far with my grandfather. As Jacobi said, it might be good, and then he could go his way and I could head back to Texas. But if I did, I'd want a promise and handshake agreement that he wouldn't be badgerin' me about goin' on with him to Boston.
"I'll think on it," I said to Jacobi.
Chapter 32
All that night and the next day, I couldn't get away from thinkin' about how everything had happened. I lay in my bed, trying to sleep. I had a window, but the Texas heat was still stifling, with no breeze at all. There was nothing to do but think about what I would do at daybreak. My worst nightmare had taken place over two years ago, but I realized that I'd been fearful, even after I was safe.
Jacobi had saved me from the Apaches. But in the back of my mind, there had been a fear that maybe something, just like this visit from my grandfather, would happen. The more I thought about it, the more I came to see that it was an unreasoning fear. The old man was on his last legs. I wondered if he'd even make it home to Boston, the way he was so short of breath and with the coughing spells he took.
I had to face the fact it wasn't him I was afraid of, now that I'd met him and seen the shape he was in. He wasn't capable of forcing me to do anything against my will.
I was afraid of losing what I had here – my family. As I'd gotten older, I realized that I was happier here than I'd been before, with Mama and Papa. And I guess that made me feel a little guilty.
But no matter what, I understood one thing: Goin' back up to Indian Territory with my grandfather was the right thing, not just because he would want it, but because I needed to go. I hadn't grieved for my family as I should have. In my heart and mind, I thought of them and I felt their loss, along with that of our home.
He was leaving in the morning, and I had a decision to make tonight.
In the past two years since it all happened, I had come to understand Papa a little better – his love for the land. It was his own piece of ground that he could make into something of his own. Just how I felt about our place now. Though we raised enough food for our family, we weren't farmers. Horses were our business – and it suited me and Jacobi just fine.
Now there would be no more worry about bein' discovered by my grandfather. I figured Jacobi must have thought of that too, for the last couple of years, and it occurred to me he'd taken a big chance, sticking his neck out to keep me with him like he'd done.
I'd go with my grandfather – only as far as my old home place. There, we'd say our last goodbyes and go our separate ways. Then, I could come home and get back to my life here.
For some reason, Laura's talk with me about bein' kinder to Deelie Ray came to mind just then. I would be nice to her in the morning before I left, I promised myself. If she didn't get up on her high horse like she usually did.
* * * * *
I woke up early the next morning, even though it had been a chore to fall asleep the night before.
Low voices drifted to me from below in the semi-darkness...Jacobi and my grandfather.
"He's headstrong," Grandfather said. But there was pride in his tone.
"Can't survive out here if you don't have some sand, Mr. Green."
"The same with the seas, Jacobi. I've often thought there's a lot of similarities between the endless expanse of land and the open space of the ocean."
After a few seconds, Jacobi said, "I suppose that's true to some extent. Just a matter of where you'd rather be."
Grandfather chuckled. "I can see Will's happy here with you. He might be one of those people who'd be happy either place."
I expected Jacobi to let Grandfather have it with both barrels. But instead, he simply said, "No. Will's good with horses. Not everyone has that ability. And he's had too much taken from him already to give up anything else."
"You've given him a good place to heal, Jacobi. I'm grateful for that."
"This is his home now. He's my son, and Laura's. We can't replace his mother and father, but I promise you, we'll always do the best we can for him."
My throat tightened at the heartfelt words. There was so much between us that my grandfather would never know – not unless I chose to tell him. Maybe he had some questions too, that I could answer.
That bit of conversation changed my outlook right then. It came clear that my grandfather loved me and wanted the best for me. I could tell from his tone he had decided maybe I was better off here, even as much as he wanted me to come back to Boston with him.
"I know," Grandfather answered. "He loves you, it's plain to see." Silence again.
"Oh, I-I have something I want to leave here with you, for Will." Grandfather said it as if he'd just remembered.
I thought how awful it must be to be so forgetful. To have something right in your pocket and not remember it was even there.
"Put it somewhere safe – to be opened upon my passing. I don't expect for that to be too far in the future."
I heard the rattle of some kind of paper – maybe an envelope – changing hands below.
"Do you think...he'll go?" There was hope buried in my grandfather's tone, but not so deep that I couldn't hear it.
I knew Jacobi so well, I could see him in my mind's eye, watching my grandfather from across the dining table, not answering, then finally shrugging.
I rolled out of bed and looked over the edge of my loft room. I couldn't see Grandfather from my position, but Jacobi was looking right up at me, as if he'd known I was awake and listening the whole time. His eyes didn't question. He already knew I was going.
"Will?" he asked softly.
I didn't want to go – not really. I wanted nothing more than to stay right here and work with Fen. Sometimes, the little ones demanded a lot, but I knew I'd miss them, even if I was just gone for a few days. As Jacobi had said so often, "Be careful what you wish for – you just might get it." I'd wished with all my heart for a baby brother. I'd gotten two of them, along with the little sister I'd so dreaded. And Deelie Ray in the bargain too.
Jacobi expected me to do the right thing. And one thing I'd learned was that doin' right wasn't always the easiest way to go. But I didn't want to disappoint him, or embarrass him... Then, there was also a part of me that needed to go back to where it had all happened, and sort it out once and for all in my mind.
"I'm goin'," I said.
Jacobi's slight nod of approval let me know it had been what he'd expected of me. "Better get your gear together, son."
I heard the scooting sound of a chair, and in a few seconds, my grandfather came to stand beside Jacobi, his head tilted back to look up at me.
"Thank you, Will. I'm glad we'll get the chance to travel together."
I felt like I didn't know how to answer to that. "You're welcome," I said, knowing that wasn't quite the thing I should've responded with, but it would do.
I moved away from the edge of the loft and got dressed. Then, I began grabbing the extra clothing I'd need from my chest, rolling them up neatly to go in my saddlebags.
Down below, I heard Laura come into the k
itchen and start breakfast. Jacobi had already made coffee and I wanted a cup of it – with lots of milk and honey in it. Jacobi always drank his black, but I hadn't learned to like it plain yet.
When I came down the ladder with my roll of spare clothing, I saw Laura had fixed me a cup of coffee and set it on the table at my place.
"Morning, Will," she said, laying her hand on my shoulder.
I could tell she wanted to hug me, but didn't. I figured it was on account of my grandfather being there, and not wanting to embarrass me in front of him. But I wouldn't've cared.
"Would you let the men know that breakfast will be ready in the next half-hour? This'll need to cool before you drink it, anyhow."
"Sure." I laid my roll of spare clothing on the pie safe.
"So you've decided to go." There was worry in her tone, though she tried to hide it.
Before I could answer, Grandfather said, "He'll be fine, Laura. I promise to take good care of him – I'm only borrowing him for a few days."
She gave him a quick, uncertain smile. "Oh...I know. He's—" her gaze settled on me once more, and she patted my cheek. "He's very dear to us. I don't know what we'd do without him."
"Well, rest assured, I'll guard him with my life. He's precious to me, as well."
"Of course." She turned back to her cooking.
I went on out the back door, headed for the barn. It wouldn't be long before Deelie Ray and the little ones were up. I was anxious to be gone, before I had to be nice to Deelie Ray for too long.
My thoughts turned to the long journey ahead of us. I dreaded the thought of the slow pace we'd have to set since we'd have the supply wagon to consider. But my grandfather was a proud man. The wagon was probably the only way he'd be able to travel a great distance. His health had left him so frail I doubted he'd be able to sit a saddle for very long. Even riding in the wagon, the trip was bound to be tiring for him.
I had my thoughts on other things as I walked into the barn, but the voices of two of Grandfather's men drew me up short, bringing me back to the present quick as lightning. It wasn't so much the words they said as it was the tone of their conversation – secretive, low-pitched, and angry.
I came through the open barn door and had gone a couple of steps inside when I stopped at the sound.
Two of the three men were standing in one of the empty stalls. Roy Shale was a slightly built man, not more than an inch or two taller than me. I hadn't taken to him from the minute I met him. His gaze was shifty, and it seemed his eyes never held still.
The other man, Bill Atkins, was a tall, lanky man who looked out of place in his denims and bandana – as if he dressed for a role.
"...got to get him out of the way," Bill said.
"Well, it won't be long now, anyhow. We can take our time. Ain't no need to rush things."
"Yep. Boston's a long way off."
I made a noise as their conversation lulled, and Bill whirled to face me as Roy met my eyes.
"Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes," I said.
"How long you been standin' there, boy?" Roy asked, his eyes narrowing.
"I just walked in. Why?”
He watched me for a moment, then nodded. "It's dangerous, walkin' up on people like you done."
"I didn't mean to... I just came in the barn to find y'all." I turned to head out the way I'd come in, my shoulder blades prickling. But I kept on moving toward the doorway.
"Boy!" Roy said.
I took another step, to be sure I was just outside the door before I turned around.
"Don't never do that again."
Angry words rose to my lips, but I made my expression neutral and played dumb. "Sure, Mister. I just came to tell you about breakfast."
"Git on back, then," Bill put in. "We'll be there shortly."
Seething, I walked unhurriedly back toward the house, my head full of the things I needed to tell Jacobi.
Chapter 33
Once we'd eaten, Deelie Ray and I helped clear away the dishes. Deelie began to wash them as Laura took the babies into their bedroom to get them dressed for the day.
I wondered how to break into Jacobi's conversation with my grandfather without making it appear obvious to the other men, but after a few minutes, they excused themselves to go prepare the wagon and saddle their horses.
Jacobi gave me a thoughtful look, and after another few minutes, he laid a hand on my shoulder and turned to my grandfather, waiting for a break in the conversation. When it came, he said, "Mr. Green, if you don't mind, I need to talk with Will a moment before you all leave."
"Oh, certainly."
"Please, stay seated," he said quickly as Grandfather started to rise. "We'll walk out onto the porch."
Jacobi's hand was steady and firm on my shoulder as we headed for the front door. As we walked out onto the front porch, he carefully pulled the door closed behind him, ensuring our privacy.
"Let's walk out here, son." He kept walking until we got close to the corral. From where we stood, Grandfather's men were all in plain sight down by the barn.
Jacobi noticed my glance in that direction. "What's on your mind, Will? You having second thoughts about going?"
"No. I-I have to go now, no matter what."
Jacobi's eyes held mine, probing at what I wasn't saying. I told him about what I'd heard when I entered the barn.
"I don't know if they meant me or Grandfather," I said. "But, they don't even have any way of knowing I've agreed to go as far as the homeplace."
"No," Jacobi agreed. "From what you've told me, I think they were talking about your grandfather," he said slowly. "But, we can't ignore the fact they may have been planning what to do to you if you decided to come along. No matter what, you're both in danger. I've noticed he hasn't been as friendly with his men as most would be after traveling as far as they've come together."
"Maybe he suspects something."
Jacobi looked into the distance. "I'm sure he does. He doesn't miss much." There was respect in Jacobi's voice. "Will, you seemed determined to go through with this – regardless."
"It would be wrong not to go, wouldn't it, Jacobi? I guess we could tell him, but even if he fired them, they might catch up with him and....do whatever they intended—"
"Kill him," Jacobi interrupted. He said it harshly, and I stared up at him. "Will, we've got to call a spade a spade here. No dancing around it – I want you to be well aware that's what they've got in mind...for him, or for you. You can't hesitate, if it comes to shooting them."
I knew he was remembering when Red Eagle had come after us in the night. I had delayed getting my shot off, but in the end, I'd killed the Apache and saved Jacobi's life.
"I was just ten, then," I answered, a sullen note in my voice.
"Ah, Will." He gave me a look of impatience, as if he expected me to understand something I couldn't. "I'm not putting any kind of fault on you. Don't you know that? I'm just making certain we understand one another about the danger here."
I nodded, and he put a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm not going to lose you, Will. And you have to realize that going with them is a matter of us tempting Fate to bait the trap."
"I do," I answered quietly. "But what else can we do? Confronting them about it would be plain stupid. They'd know we know, and they'll do what I said – catch up with him later."
"I'm going to tell him what you've told me. Of course, he'll believe he can handle it..." Jacobi's voice trailed off in thought. "I wish we knew if Wheeler is in on it, too. He'll bear some close watching."
"Are you coming with us?" I tried to keep the hopeful expectation out of my tone, but Jacobi wasn't fooled.
"Oh, yeah, I'm coming. But no one'll know it, Will, outside of you and your grandfather."
I took a deep, relieved breath at his words. If I knew Jacobi was there – somewhere – everything would work out as it should.
A smile touched his lips. "Will...you oughtta know I'm not gonna leave you to the wolves. I'l
l be with you every step of the way. You just won't know I'm there."
"I'll know," I said. "We'll handle 'em."
* * * * *
Less than an hour later, I rode out astride Arrow with my grandfather and his three men.
Jacobi, Laura, Deelie Ray, and the babies all waved us goodbye from the front yard.
"Bye, Will!" Deelie Ray called. "I'll make you an apple pie when you come back!"
I started to remind her she didn't know how to make an apple pie yet – Laura had been teaching her to make crust last week. But I caught Laura's eye and remembered what she'd said. Instead, I just answered with a "thank you" and a wave.
Deelie Ray's smile was as big as Texas. It occurred to me that maybe I oughtta say something more – something nice. But I couldn't think of anything.
Besides, I needed my wits about me for this trip. I couldn't be thinkin' of Deelie Ray or the babies, or anything else 'cept stayin' safe and protecting my grandfather from the men who were planning to do him – or me – harm.
I rode beside the wagon Grandfather drove, though he'd suggested I sit with him on the wagon seat. I wanted to keep my independence, and me an' Arrow, we got along fine. This way, me and Grandfather could talk, and when I'd had enough, I could drop back a little.
When Roy and Bill rode on ahead, Jack dropped back some to give me and the old man some privacy.
"Seems like you've got a good life here, Will," Grandfather said. We'd been riding in silence for quite some time, so his voice startled me as much as his words.
"I do," I responded. "An' I ain't about to leave it."
He chuckled, and shook his head. "Oh, I know. You're so much like your father...and, in turn, I guess I should say that also makes you like me."
I glanced at him, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were scanning the far horizon, as if he were looking backward through the years of his own life.
"You're stubborn. A family trait, many would say. And—" he shrugged, "—that can be a good thing or a bad one, depending on the circumstances."
Ride The Wild Range Page 17
