Her head was dizzy and she hated to admit it, but he was driving her body crazy and awakening desires she’d fought hard to suppress. She wasn’t sure she could fight it much longer. Twisting the cap back on her bottle of tequila, she tossed it aside.
“Julian,” she protested her voice a weak, ragged whisper.
“Shh.” His hot breath teased her neck, pushing her further over the edge. “Don’t think,” he instructed softly as he pulled her shirt over her head. “Just act.”
He smoothed a hand over her abdomen; his fingers gently caressing her skin as his hand slowly worked its way up to her bra. Keeping one hand on her front, he brought two fingers to her tease her temple as he said, “The brain is rational…responsible. It clouds your mind and guilt’s you into doing things you’re expected to do.”
He trailed his fingertips down the side of her face and neck. “But instinct…” With an expert-style snap of his fingers, he unclasped her bra and freed her breasts, prompting a sharp, surprised gasp. Still, she made no effort to move as he slid his hands to cup one of them. “There’s something so primal about it. So…” he nipped her ear with his teeth, keeping his lips close to her ear as he whispered, “liberating.”
And just like that, her senses were gone. Turning to him and positioning herself on his lap, she pressed her lips against his and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Acting on pure instinct, she ripped his shirt right down the front and heard the buttons scatter. She rubbed her hands along his hard, muscular chest as her mouth teased his.
His hands were all over her body, teasing and groping and igniting little flames beneath her skin. It drove her closer and closer to madness. Grabbing her hips, he lifted her up a little and then turned them, dumping her onto the soft mattress as he positioned himself at her knees.
His eyes locked seductively on hers as she watched him edge her jeans further and further down. She gasped when he yanked them completely off. Leaning over her, he planted soft, greedy kisses over her stomach and chest, each one pulling her deeper and deeper into the moment, until she forgot all about the circumstances beyond that hotel door. Grabbing a handful of his hair, she pulled his lips to hers and reached one hand down to undo his jeans.
They rolled around the bed in a wild frenzy of ragged breathing, groping hands and moaning. And, like always, when she was giving herself to him, she felt like the freest girl in the world, like nothing could touch her because she was his, and on some level, she knew she always would be his.
It wasn’t until an hour later, when she lay exhausted, sweaty and trying to catch her breath that the trademarked guilt started to sink in. She tried to push it down as he turned to face her. Wearing a lazy, relaxed smile, he used his fingertip to trace small circles on her shoulder.
It was starting to make her antsy, and she realized she’d been here for much longer than she’d anticipated. She’d blown off her shift at the store, even after Shane had helped her out, and she wondered if he’d still be lenient. She really hoped no one had seen her car parked outside. The worries continued to fill her mind, each one making her more panicked than the last.
Julian leaned closer and planted a kiss on her shoulder as he said, “Want me to go with you to get your stuff?”
For a second, she just stared at him blankly, wondering how he’d come to the conclusion that she’d decided to leave with him. Surely he’d known this was just going to be about sex…they always knew better than to assume the other was serious about ‘being a couple’. That’s just how their dynamic worked. “Julian…” she started, and watched his expression fall, watched the disbelief fill his eyes. She pulled the sheet around her as she stood up.
“No,” he said, his voice deep as if giving an order. “No. Cammi, listen—”
“This was just…just sex, okay? Nothing more.”
Shaking his head, he quickly pulled his jeans on and buttoned them as he stood. Turning to her he looked completely pissed. “That’s all it ever is to you, isn’t it? What’s your number by now, anyway? I mean, there’s a whole fresh batch of guys in this town and I’m sure you’ve worked your way through half of them by now.”
She shot him a glare as she stooped to pick up her clothes. “I should’ve known you’d do this,” she shot back. “I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re right about that,” he said, coming closer. “Because I know your secret, Cammi. If you keep pushing me away, I’ll have to tell.”
“Fine,” she snapped. “Go ahead and tell Machado that I’m guilty. But don’t forget you helped me dump the body.”
“I’m sure my lawyers would have no problem working out a deal if it meant throwing you under the bus,” he said. “By next week, you’ll be in jail, becoming a whole different type of bitch.”
Reaching out, she shoved his shoulder but he grabbed her hand and pulled her close. Keeping his tone low, he said, “I’d think very carefully about my next move if I were you.”
Looking into his eyes, she saw all signs of the enticing man who’d seduced her were gone now, leaving only the ruthless one she despised. Wrenching her arm away from him, she shot him a dirty look as she went to the bathroom.
Locking herself inside, she leaned against the door. Knowing she needed to get dressed and get out of there, she turned to the mirror to see how she looked.
She looked horrible. Her hair was messed up and her mascara had bled, giving her a severe case of raccoon eyes. So she took a few minutes to take a quick shower and wash up while she planned what to do next.
Deciding she’d beg for mercy, or at least a little extra time, she exited the bathroom once she was dressed.
He was fully dressed now and sitting down in one of the chairs. “Tell me, do those showers ever really make you feel clean?”
“Screw you,” she said, heading straight for the door.
“You just did that,” he said, standing. He picked a remote up off the table and aimed it at the TV, turning it on. “See?”
When the screen lit up, it was like looking into a huge mirror showing the hotel room they were standing in. And on the now empty bed behind her, Julian and Cameron rolled around the bed in a steamy frenzy.
Horrified, she turned to look at Julian feeling a whole new wave of betrayal.
“Wait, you’ll miss the best part.” Using the remote, he skipped the video ahead.
Wrapped in a sheet, Cameron knelt down to pick up her clothes. “I should’ve known you’d do this,” she shot back; “I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re right about that,” he said, coming closer. “Because I know your secret, Cammi. If you keep pushing me away, I’ll have to tell.”
“Fine,” she yelled, standing back up. “Go ahead and tell Machado that I’m guilty. But don’t forget you helped me dump the body.”
He paused the video there, and then turned a smug smile on her. “I believe that makes it your move.”
“This isn’t a game Julian,” she snapped. “This is my life you’re screwing with!”
“Which is why you should think carefully,” he said. “Because I’ll put this video all over the internet, send it to anyone you’ve ever met. Including Detective Machado, your brother’s squad and even that mechanic that checks you out every time you’re not looking.”
Looking around the hotel room—at the flowers, the champagne and the rumpled bed—she knew she’d been played. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” she asked breathlessly. “Step one; get me to sleep with you. Step two; piss me off enough to confess.”
He grinned. “Neither one was very difficult,” he said. “You’ve always been easy.”
She glared at him. “So that’s it? Either I come with you or you bring me down?”
“Precisely.” He came closer to her, until he was so close their bodies almost touched. “If you and I aren’t pulling out of this god-forsaken town by sundown tomorrow, it’s bye-bye country and hello prison.”
Looking into his eyes, she knew he was dead serious. Without another wor
d, she turned and left the hotel room, letting the door swing shut behind her.
Once she was outside in her car, she slammed her fist against the steering wheel and screamed. Feeling like the walls were closing in on her, she started driving with no direction. She did that for two hours, fighting the urge to jump onto the highway and run as fast and as far as she could. But every time she found herself heading in that direction, she reminded herself that Julian would only track her down again.
After awhile, she wound up outside of Shane’s apartment complex. She had no idea what compelled her to go knock on his door. Maybe it was the way he’d treated her those nights she was drunk. All she knew was that she needed to be around his Zen, peaceful demeanor right now.
The second he opened the door and that subtle look of surprise crossed his face, she realized she must’ve looked like a mess. From inside, she could hear upbeat music playing and she wondered if she’d caught him in the middle of something.
“Hey,” he said slowly, lingering in the doorway.
“I’m sorry to just…show up like this.” She brought a hand to twirl a strand of her unkempt hair. “I was just kind of…driving and…I ended up here. Is that okay?”
“It’s okay,” he said. He stepped aside. “Come on in.”
As he closed the door behind her, she saw he was wearing a boxing glove on one hand. “I’m interrupting your workout, aren’t I?” she asked.
“No,” he said, tossing both gloves onto the pool table. “I was just…bored.” He turned to her, studying her with a look of knowing scrutiny. “Something’s up. What is it?”
“I…I owe you an apology,” she started, but her words stopped there. She couldn’t bring herself to really tell him the truth, but she felt so guilty for ditching him for Julian and she needed to make amends somehow. “I lied to you earlier. I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment today.”
He chuckled a little. “Cam, I know you didn’t. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” she said, raking a hand through her hair. “You’ve been so great to me. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
Studying her a second, his head titled. Then he motioned to the couch and said, “Have a seat. You want something to drink?”
Anything to spend just a few more minutes here, she thought, with someone who didn’t manipulate her, judge her or ask too many prying questions. “Sure,” she said, and he quickly disappeared into the kitchen. She took a seat on the black leather couch and looked up at the large TV.There was a poker game playing—which looked incredibly boring—but seemed to fit Shane well.
“Is Pepsi okay?” he called from the kitchen.
“Yeah,” she shouted back.
He came back with two cans and took a seat next to her, leaving a full cushion between them. “It doesn’t look like you had much fun on your date.”
Her eyes darted to meet his, full of surprise and a little embarrassment. “You saw that…” she whispered. Lowering her gaze to her can of soda, she cracked it open and took a drink before she responded. “It wasn’t a date.”
She set her can down on the coffee table and stood, crossing her arms as she restlessly started to pace. “I didn’t just come here to visit my brothers,” she admitted, though she wasn’t sure why she didn’t try to stop herself. “I was running away.”
Shane leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His blue eyes looked intense and a little dangerous as he asked, “From that guy? The one who was at the store today?”
So he had seen Julian there, she realized. “No. Well…yeah, but…” She stopped pacing, looking down at her faded sneakers as she confessed. “A few other things, too.”
He nodded in understanding, and as if realizing his gaze made her uncomfortable, he relaxed against the back of the couch. “Does this have anything to do with why you wanted to work under the table?”
She nodded.
“What’s going on, Cam?” he asked. “Are you running from the cops or something?”
“I can’t answer that,” she said, frustrated with herself. Turning from him again, she pulled her hands through her hair. “I can’t answer any questions. I don’t even really know why I’m telling you any of this.”
“Maybe you’re tired of hiding it.”
He’d hit the nail on the head, she thought with a sigh. “I thought I could hide here. But…that was just stupid. He found me, and now he’s blackmailing me.”
“Blackmailing you?” he asked, his eyes bulging a little.
She nodded, biting her lip.
“What are the terms?”
“Either I leave town with him, or he’ll tell everything he knows.”
Leaning forward, he looked concerned. “How bad are we talking here? Like, humiliation bad or prison time bad?”
“Both,” she said, her voice quivering. “And I don’t know what to do. He’s not bluffing, I know that. But I can’t go with him, Shane.” Just the thought of leaving town with Julian—of him being the sole person in her life on the run—was enough to bring tears and made prison look like the better option. Which she would gladly choose, if it meant her secret would stay buried but she knew it wouldn’t. She covered her eyes with her hands until the tears passed.
Hearing Shane come up to her, she fought harder to make the tears to go away. It was bad enough she was standing here without even any makeup on and damp hair after what he called a ‘date’, but she couldn’t let him see her cry, too.
Finally, when the tears had past, she made herself look into his eyes.
He looked so handsome and strong as he placed his hands on her shoulders gently. “It sounds like a lot hinges on keeping something a secret,” he said. “But, in the end, that’s never the path you want to choose. It only leads to pain.”
“I don’t have another choice,” she said, feeling fresh tears sting her eyes again. “I can’t tell anyone, Shane. I’d just…I’d die.”
“Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
“It is.”
“Okay,” he said, stepping back. “Where’s this guy at? I’ll take care of it.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I didn’t come here so you would go beat him up or something. He can’t know I told you any of this.”
“You sound like you’re afraid of him.”
As he looked at her, his steady, compassionate gaze boring further and further into her soul, into the wounds she so carefully hid, she realized she’d said too much. She knew almost nothing about this guy, except for he was no saint either. Once upon a time, she’d been standing in the same situation with Julian—vulnerable and afraid to face the outside world and the problems it held. And she’d allowed him to comfort her, to chase her demons away. She’d let herself lean on him…only to find out he had a very dark side. How did she know things would play out any differently with Shane?
Taking a few steps back to put some space between them, she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have come here and dumped all this on you. God, talk about over sharing.” She continued to move toward the door.
“No, Cameron…” he shook his head slightly, taking a step closer. “You can stay. You can talk to me.”
“I can’t,” she said, fighting to keep her voice from shaking at just the thought of letting someone see how damaged she truly was.
“Why do you do that?” he asked, looking completely confused and trying to understand. “You’re always pulling away or shutting down. It’s like you’re afraid to let someone see anything real.”
“So what if I am?” she shot back. “It’s not like you show me everything you’re hiding. You’re always so worried about analyzing me, but look around, Shane.” She waved her arm to motion to the pool table, punching bag and television. “This entire apartment is filled with things to entertain you. You can’t go five spare minutes without pulling that deck of cards out of your pocket. And why? To keep your mind busy because there’s something in your past that you won’t—can’t—even le
t yourself think about. I mean, you even overdosed. But you haven’t offered up information on that night, have you?” A bitter laugh came out of her lips. “So don’t stand there and look like I’m the only wounded one here.”
He stood there, his jaw slightly clenched, staring at her. “You know the difference, Cameron?” He came closer as he spoke. “I pulled myself out. You’re still drowning.”
“I’m not drow—”
“Yes, you are. I’ve seen you.” Standing just a few inches away from her, his gaze held hers as he peeled away her layers and stripped away her masks. “You drop in out of nowhere with a black eye, you’re massively defensive and dead-set on being alone. You jump at the slightest sound. You drink like a sailor. What I don’t understand is why I’m the only who can see that someone’s really broken your trust.”
Even though his words were dangerously close to the truth, she wouldn’t admit it to him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I do,” he said, his eyes full of passion. “I do because I’ve been there. Who do you think my dad took his anger out on once my mom left? I had broken bones, bruises in every color imaginable. I lived through nights I thought would never end. That’s why I started using, that’s why I overdosed and that’s what lets me see this in you.”
She shook her head, trying to laugh it off, but he wouldn’t let her.
“I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know if someone used their fists or their words, but someone beat you down.” Studying her, he realized she was nowhere near close to admitting he was right. “But you don’t have to stay a victim.”
At that word, anger engulfed her and she reached out and gave his shoulder a hard punch. He raised an eyebrow, impressed, as his body moved to balance out the blow.
“Does that word make you mad?” he asked, eyes narrowing on hers.
Another Life: Another Life Series #1 Page 14
