by K. A. Linde
Grant stood by and waited for me.
How embarrassing.
“I’ll be right back.” I hurried out of the room and after Grant. Closing the door quietly behind me, I groaned in frustration. “What? I’m in the middle of this session, and things aren’t going that great.”
“Ari,” he said softly. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he wasn’t meeting my eyes. He had this hollow look on his face as if he’d seen a ghost.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sydney called. My dad showed up at Duffie’s.”
My hand flew to my mouth. “What did he want? Why didn’t anyone tell you that he was out already? Last we heard, he was going to get out on parole, but—”
“Well, it looks like he’s out. Sydney said that my uncle called her to see if she had spoken to me. She thought that was weird, and he ended up telling her that my dad had called a couple of times. Today, he showed up at the restaurant.”
“What does he want?”
Grant sighed and then finally looked at me. His eyes were hard when he answered, “Me.”
I blew out the breath I’d been holding. Great. Just when things were finally going right, his dad had to force himself into the picture. Why would he even think that Grant would want to see him? After killing Grant’s mother and attempting to blame the whole thing on Grant, didn’t his dad realize he’d done enough damage?
“So, what does this mean?” I asked.
“I…I don’t know.” He walked down an empty row of books empty of people.
It killed me that he was going through this. All I wanted was to be there for him, but I didn’t know where to start. It wasn’t as if I could call his dad up and tell him to leave Grant alone.
“Grant,” I said, following after him. I latched on to his shirt and stopped him in place. “Talk to me. Tell me everything that Sydney said.”
“That’s it. She didn’t really know anything.”
“Are you going to call your uncle?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“I know this is hard,” I said, rubbing my hand up his arm, “but you can’t ignore it.”
“I’m not ignoring it. I’m trying to fucking deal with it. The thought of him being out of prison, stalking me…” He breathed in heavily and ground his teeth together. “You don’t know what it’s been like the last thirteen years he’s been locked up. I carry this guilt with me that I’m somehow responsible for my mother’s death.”
“You’re right,” I said softly. “I’ll never know what that’s like.” I looked down at the ground and then back up at Grant. I needed to be strong for him right now. “But I’m here for you…for everything you’re going through.”
I slid my hand into my shirt and pulled out the dog tags that Grant had given me when we decided to become exclusive. They’d belonged to his dad, and Grant had worn them daily until we started going out.
“I keep you close to my heart. Keep me close to yours,” I whispered.
Grant pulled me into a hug, sinking into me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him as tightly as I could. I knew that I couldn’t keep him together like this, but I would damn well try.
“Ugh,” he groaned, tearing away from me. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Do what?”
“This.” He gestured between us. “I need to get out of here.”
“And do what?”
“Who cares?”
I reached for him, and he pulled away.
“No. Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. I’m here for you.”
“I can’t talk about this right now, Ari. Go back to your little study session.”
He waved his hands to shoo me away and then took off toward the stairs. I raced after him. I was not going to let him walk out on me in the state he was in. His dad made him insane. He had been all right on the beach when he first found out his dad was getting out of jail because it was some far-off reality. Now that it was here, I didn’t know what he would do.
I jogged to keep up with him through the entranceway and out of the library.
“Would you stop?” I yelled as soon as we were out of the building. “You can’t run away from your problems!”
“I’m not running from my problems. I’m running from you.” He continued walking to the parking lot.
“I must be the only person here who sees that as a problem.”
“Must be.”
He reached for the handle to his blue pickup truck, and I threw myself in front of him.
“I know you’re being an asshole because you’re pissed off. If you missed the old Aribel, well, then she’s back. Don’t act like I mean nothing to you because you got some upsetting news. You can’t run from me. I tried to get away from you, Grant, and I couldn’t. You fought for me tooth and nail. There is no way I’m letting you storm off, get plastered at the League, and do something you’ll regret.”
Grant stared back at me, expressionless, but I could see the dark brooding thoughts underneath the exterior.
“What do you want from me?”
I sighed and took a step toward him. “I want you to be rational about this. Sydney doesn’t know all the facts. You should call your uncle and find out what happened.”
“Next thing I know, you’re going to be pushing me to see my dad.”
“No. I’m not trying to push you into anything! I’m trying to get you to think about this for a second.”
I leaned into my hip and looked up at him. My body was shaking, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the arctic temperatures tonight or the conversation I was having. We’d gotten over a fight this weekend, only to stumble into one that I didn’t even want to happen.
“I thought about it. You want me to talk to my uncle. I want to forget that conversation with Sydney ever happened.” He brushed me over to the side and popped open the door.
“So, what? You’re going to run away like always? Get drunk with Vin the Enabler?” I croaked.
My face was hot, and I could feel the tears springing to my eyes. I was so not this girl. I didn’t get upset about guys. I didn’t continually confront them in parking lots. Grant McDermott was turning me into such a typical girl, and I hated it. I could really use some of that indifference right about now.
Grant laughed hollowly. “Vin the Enabler. He’d probably like that nickname.”
“I don’t give a shit what he likes. He’s a prick who tried to drug me at the beginning of the year!” I ran my hands back through my hair and then brushed the tears from my cheeks. “I’m sorry. This isn’t about Vin. I want what’s best for you.”
“The best thing for me right now is to go blow off some steam.”
I opened my mouth to tell him that I’d go with him, but he held up his hand.
“Alone, Princess. I have to deal with this my own way.”
“Fine. If you want to be alone, we can be alone together.”
I pushed past him and climbed inside the cab of his truck. He wasn’t thinking straight tonight, and there was no way I’d let him drive off without me.
“Ari, all your stuff is still inside.”
“I’ll text the girls, and they’ll bring it home later.”
“What about your test tomorrow?” he asked.
I swallowed. I hadn’t really thought about that. The test tomorrow would be a huge part of my grade, and I couldn’t afford to do poorly. My stomach crawled as I thought about abandoning my studies for the night, but Grant was of more immediate importance. He couldn’t do this by himself. I’d still do well without a few extra hours in the library.
“You’re going to abandon your study session for me?” He looked utterly mystified.
I reached my hand out to him through the open door. “I love you. Not just when it’s easy.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s not going to be easy tonight. Scoot over.”
As soon as I got out of my truck and inside my house, I stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I di
dn’t bother with a glass before tipping it up and drinking it straight.
“So, it’s one of those nights?” Miller asked from his position in the living room.
“Yes, it is,” Ari said. She crossed the threshold into my house and slammed the door behind her.
“Fuck yeah!” Vin cheered. “Let’s get fucked up!”
“I’m so thrilled this is happening,” Ari said sarcastically.
Vin hopped up from his seat and made his way to the kitchen. “And we’re fucking thrilled you brought your buzzkill with you, bro.”
I lifted the bottle to my lips again. No way was I in the mindset to get between Ari and Vin. They could get their hatred out of the way while I downed this bottle, and then maybe Ari would be down for some angry fucking. That sounded like a perfect fucking night.
“I don’t want to deal with you tonight, Vin,” Ari said. She slumped onto the couch next to Miller. “Can you text Shelby and tell her to take my stuff home?”
“Weren’t you guys at the library or something?” Miller asked. He had the video game controller in his hand and was staring at the TV.
Vin laughed. “The library? You must be talking about someone else. My bro would never do any of that stupid shit.”
“Why is going to the library stupid shit?” Ari asked. Her voice was on edge. “Cheyenne was at the library with me. Last I heard, you two were still sleeping together.”
“Chey’s hot, but I wouldn’t fucking follow her to the library like my pussy-whipped friend.”
“Pussy-whipped,” Ari said softly. “You make a relationship sound like a tragedy.”
“Now, you’re fucking getting me. Relationships are a disease.”
“And you’d know because you’ve been in so many relationships?” she asked pointedly.
The guys all cracked up in the living room at Ari’s comment. I attempted to tune them out.
I was already halfway through the bottle, and everything was getting really warm. The liquor loosened my muscles and clouded my mind. This was fucking perfection. Soon, I wouldn’t be able to think about my shit dad or my uncle who hid things from me. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to hear anyone arguing either. I wanted to get lit up and black out.
“McAvoy, you got a joint on you?” I asked, interrupting Vin and Ari’s argument.
“What do you need a joint for?” Ari asked.
“Uh…nah, man. My stash is running low,” McAvoy said.
“Since when? You always have the good shit.”
“Grant, seriously?” Ari demanded.
“You decided to come along, darlin’,” I slurred. “McAvoy, will you get me something?”
“I’ll see what I can do, bro.” He apologetically glanced over at Ari before handing over his controller to Vin. He left the house through the garage to where he lived next door.
“Fine. Whatever,” Ari grumbled.
Miller leaned into her, and they whispered to each other, but I didn’t give a shit what they were talking about at this point.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and tossed it onto the counter. Now was not a good time.
“You going to answer that, bro?” Miller asked.
I glanced down at the screen.
Uncle Randy.
Fuck no.
“No chance in hell.”
Ari hopped up off the couch and walked into the kitchen. The phone went to voice mail. She frowned when she saw my uncle’s name on the screen.
“You should call him back.”
“Fucking hell, Princess. No! I’m not fucking doing this tonight.”
“Just talk to him,” she said quietly. “What if he wants to tell you about it? What if there’s news?”
The phone buzzed again on the counter, and I shook my head. She snatched the phone up and answered the call.
“Hello, Mr. Duffie. This is Aribel.”
“Aribel,” I growled.
“Let me see if I can find him for you, Mr. Duffie.” Ari laughed lightly. “Yes, Randy. Of course. I’ll remember that for next time.”
She put the phone on mute and then pushed it toward me. “Talk to him.”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Grant, please. See what he wants, and then decide if you want to hear it or not.” She ran her hand up my sleeve and smiled sadly. “I’m here if you need me.”
“You’re killing me, woman.” I grabbed the phone out of her hand and stalked up the stairs and into my bedroom. I brought the bottle of Jack with me because I had a feeling I’d need to finish it by the end of this conversation.
I took a deep breath and unmuted the phone. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Grant, hey! How are you doing?”
Why was he so fucking peppy? Shouldn’t he sound as fucking scared and confused as Sydney had?
“I’m all right.”
Remain calm. Try to get through this one conversation without blowing up on him.
He was as close as I had to a real parent, and he wasn’t the person I was actually pissed at. I kept trying to remind myself of these things, but it wasn’t working.
There was a long pause before my uncle responded, “That’s good, real good.”
“Yep.”
“So…I was calling to make sure we’re all set for this weekend.”
“This weekend? What are you talking about?”
“Valentine’s Day. The big dinner you have planned for your girlfriend. I think I was on the phone with her.” He chuckled softly, but all I felt was panic.
Fuck! I’d completely forgotten about Valentine’s Day. I’d been planning to take Ari to Duffie’s and to our beach. There was no fucking way I could do that now. What if my dad was fucking waiting for me to show up? Was he in the area? I couldn’t chance it.
The whole thing pushed me over the edge—not only was my uncle refusing to tell me about my father, but I also had to cancel my fucking plans because of this shit.
“Do you really think I want to come to your restaurant right now?” I asked.
“I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you?”
I blew out my breath heavily, plunked the whiskey bottle down on my nightstand, and threw my fist into the closet door. “Why do you think?” I shouted.
“Grant—”
“No. I’m not a little kid anymore!” I shook my hand out in frustration. “You’re supposed to fucking trust me and come to me like you did when you found out about my dad getting out of prison. You can’t fucking choose when to tell me important things.”
“Sydney called you,” he said softly. “Grant, I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t fucking say that!”
“I know you’re upset, but I wanted to try to make this easy for you.”
“By lying?” I shouted.
“No. I was going to tell you in person on Saturday. I thought it would be better to hear about it face-to-face rather than over the phone. I only checked with Sydney to make sure that your father hadn’t already reached out to you.”
“And you thought it was a good idea for me to come see you when you know my father has been in the area?” I asked.
“When I asked him to leave, he told me he was going to head out of town for a little bit, but he’d check back in.”
I shook my head. Was my uncle that idiotic? Even if what he was saying was true, I was halfway into a bottle of whiskey, and I still fucking knew it was a setup.
“Yeah, he’s going to check back in when I’m there.”
“And would that be so bad?” he asked.
I cursed under my breath. “What the fuck do you think is going to happen? We’re going to sit around and sing ‘Kumbaya’? He killed my mom! This conversation is over. I don’t want to have any contact with my dad. Maybe you’ll get that one day.”
I hung up before he could say anything else, and I hurled the phone. It smashed against the wall and then fell to the floor. At this point, I didn’t give a shit if it completely stopped working. Every phone call
was getting worse and worse.
The bottle of Jack temptingly smiled back at me. I grabbed it and tipped it back.
Disappear.
Foggy.
Numb.
The pain ate away at me, and I was so fucking tired of feeling. One day…one day, I wouldn’t feel it. But if all I had now was this bottle, then I’d let it do its fucking job.
“Shit.”
I peeled my eyes open, my vision bleary. What the fuck happened? And where the fuck was I?
I propped myself up on my elbow. A wave of nausea hit me, and I collapsed back down. Holy shit. I might still be fucking drunk.
After a few minutes, I forced myself to sit up again. I leaned over the couch and rested my head in my hands. Why was I on the couch? Fuck, I didn’t remember shit.
“You awake, bro?”
I looked up and saw Vin crashed on the opposite couch in the garage. Why the fuck was I in the garage? Jesus!
“No. Stop talking.”
“That was some fucking party.”
“Party?” I groaned.
“Yeah. Half the city was here last night.”
“What? No. We were just supposed to drink and smoke and get fucked.”
Vin laughed roughly. “Sure, man.”
I held my head as I stood and left the destroyed garage to head back into my house. It was a mission, getting up the stairs to my room, but it was all worth it to see Ari passed out in my bed. I fell into the bed next to her and pulled her body against mine.
“Princess,” I murmured.
Ari rolled over and groaned. “Hey.”
“What happened last night?”
She popped up. “Oh my God, what time is it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe slow down a bit. I’m still messed up.”
“Shit, shit, shit. I have to go, Grant. I have my O-chem test today, and I didn’t study last night.”
She bolted out of my bed. I’d forgotten about her test. I shouldn’t have taken her away from her study session yesterday. Shit!
“Hey, take my truck. Keys are…downstairs. I think,” I offered.
“Okay,” she said, rushing toward the door.
“Ari,” I called before she could leave. “Thanks for being here for me.”
“You know I love you, Grant. I realize you’re going through some awful shit. I’m here for you. But I can’t sacrifice my career like this again.”
