The Sinking Admiral

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by The Detection Club


  ‘What scandals?’

  ‘There’ve always been rumours about him: drug smuggling, illegal opening hours, and someone the other day was suggesting he could be bringing in illegal immigrants in that boat of his.’

  ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Alice. None of that is true.’ Greta felt a terrible chill take hold of her.

  ‘But what is true is that he fathered an illegitimate child whose mother now is a pillar of the community, a brilliant maths teacher who runs a Girl Guide troop. If that was broadcast on national television, you – and I – wouldn’t have a hope. The parents would have demanded your resignation, and so would the Guide Association. The scandal would have crucified us.’

  Greta dropped her head onto Alice’s knees. A huge sob wracked her frame.

  ‘I don’t think I meant to kill him, but I certainly felt I could. Our precious, precious life together, in the dust, all the fault of this ridiculous man. So I pushed him as hard as I could, screaming out that he mustn’t do this. We were standing in the stupid boat; it rocked, he staggered back and fell. And that was that.’ Another long sigh from Alice. Greta tried to take in the enormity of what she was saying.

  ‘I looked at him lying there. Could I make it look like suicide? Maybe if I supplied a farewell letter, the police would think he’d intended to take the boat out and throw himself off it, and that was the “Last Hurrah”, but that he had had an accident before he could launch the boat.’

  Greta looked up. ‘So you actually wrote a note?’

  ‘I thought it had to be tied to the pub, so I went there. Nobody was about. I found the computer, printed out a brief note, found an envelope, and then got back to the dinghy without anyone seeing me. At least, I thought I had. That dreadful man Bentley, however, apparently was walking his dog late at night and saw me returning to the boat. He rang me the day before the funeral and offered to keep quiet if I paid him some ridiculous sum, far more than I could raise and, anyway, you can’t trust blackmailers to keep their word.’

  ‘So what did you do to him?’ Greta said numbly.

  ‘He was one of my patients, of course, and already on digitalis for his heart. I told him I’d bring the money to the funeral and give it to him by the grave before the service. Instead, I had prepared a syringe and gave him a massive overdose. He never knew a thing. One grave, two bodies: very suitable, I thought.’ Alice’s voice was hard and emotionless.

  ‘And you did all that for me?’ Greta was awed.

  Her partner’s expression softened; she put her hands on either side of Greta’s head and looked deep into her eyes. ‘There’s nothing I would not do for you, dearest.’

  Greta gazed back at her, her heart so full she could hardly speak. ‘We haven’t got much time,’ she said breathlessly. ‘I’m sure the police will be here any minute. Alice, darling, will you marry me? I believe one can have the ceremony performed in prison these days.’

  Somehow they were then both on their feet and in each other’s arms. ‘I will wait for you, my darling, however long it takes,’ Greta said passionately.

  The doorbell rang.

  It was lunchtime at the Admiral Byng. Amy, in her customary position behind the bar, could hardly believe it was still the same day. Thursday, less than twenty-four hours after the beginning of Fitz’s funeral. So much seemed to have happened since then.

  But she felt good. Taking control in the Bridge that morning had restored her confidence to a level that she hadn’t felt since long before she had left London for Crabwell. Since before she had started her affair with the married man. Since she’d made that stupid suicide attempt. Now she felt confident to live life on her own terms. And if that life did involve a male partner… or if it didn’t… Amy Walpole knew she’d be able to cope either way.

  Anyway, the only partner she was thinking about that morning was a business partner. Greg Jepson had been so firm in his decision that he was going to buy the Admiral Byng and refurbish it. And so determined that Amy was going to manage the place for him. Her mind was already full of plans for the future.

  The lunchtime trade in the pub was fairly brisk. News of Griffiths Bentley’s death had spread around the village, and the curious of Crabwell thought they might find out more about it in the Admiral Byng. But the crowd wasn’t as big as it would have been if a television camera had been there.

  Most of the people who’d been in the Bridge that morning had melted away. Greg Jepson had been told by Greta not to make contact until she rang him. After making his business proposal to Amy, he had gone to his mother’s to give Rosalie support during the inevitable police interviews that were to come.

  Meriel Dane, who had found from the reactions at the meeting that the revelation of her lurid past had only added to her allure as a femme fatale, was cheerily cooking away in her kitchen. She comforted herself further with the thought of ringing to see whether Jed Rhode was back from his fishing trip. And since she didn’t yet know that Amy was going to be her new boss, there wasn’t even the smallest cloud on her hedonistic horizon.

  The Rev Victoria Whitechurch had gone back to the vicarage to ring that helpful young man about the phone mast.

  Willie Sayers had caught the first train back to London and the House of Commons.

  Ianthe Berkeley, though still marinated in the previous night’s vodka, had started off in her battered VW to face the complications of husband and boss.

  And Bob Christie had returned to the unreproachful bottle of gin in his office.

  ‘Hi.’

  At the sound of the voice, Amy looked up from pouring a pint of Guinness to see Ben Milne. He wore an expensive waterproof, and had his bag slung over his shoulder. ‘I’m off,’ he said. ‘Ordered a cab.’

  ‘Would you like a drink? On the house.’

  ‘No, I don’t think so, thanks.’

  Amy passed the Guinness over and took the customer’s money. There was an awkward silence. ‘I suppose we’re both likely to be contacted by the police.’

  ‘Probably,’ he agreed.

  Another silence was broken by the sound of a car approaching. Ben looked through the glass of the pub’s front door. ‘My cab.’

  ‘Yes.’ Amy reached her hand across the bar and they shook formally.

  ‘Probably won’t meet again,’ said Ben.

  ‘Probably not.’

  ‘Cheerio then.’

  ‘Cheerio.’

  Amy was pleased to be distracted by another order as Ben Milne left the Admiral Byng. When she looked back, his cab had gone.

  Just as well, she thought. He always had been a bit of a prick. Attractive, yes, but still a prick.

  ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS

  Simon Brett is the author of over ninety-five books, including the Charles Paris, Mrs Pargeter, Fethering, and Blotto and Twinks series of crime novels. He wrote a best-selling book about a baby’s first year called How To Be A Little Sod. His writing for radio and television includes After Henry, No Commitments and Smelling of Roses. He has been Chair of the Crime Writers’ Association and The Society of Authors, and was President of the Detection Club from 2001 to 2015. In 2014 he was awarded the CWA Diamond Dagger ‘for Excellence’, and in the 2016 New Year’s Honours he was made an O.B.E. ‘for services to literature’. You can find him online at: www.simonbrett.com.

  Kate Charles, a past Chairman of the Crime Writers’ Association and the Barbara Pym Society, is American by birth but has lived in England for thirty years. A former parish administrator, she sets her books against the colourful backdrop of the Church of England. She has been co-organiser of the annual St Hilda’s Crime and Mystery Conference in Oxford since its beginnings in 1994 and was awarded the George N. Dove Award for her ‘outstanding contribution to the serious study of mystery and crime fiction’. Kate has a vast collection of ‘clerical mysteries’, and lectures on that subject. Kate’s latest book, False Tongues, is the fourth in a series featuring newly ordained curate Callie Anson. Her first series, the Book of Psalms mysteries, remains
popular and has recently been republished. She lives on the English side of the Welsh borders with her husband and their Border Terrier.

  Natasha Cooper was a historical novelist before she turned to crime. She has written three crime series: the first featuring part-time civil servant Willow King, who moonlights as a romantic novelist; a second led by barrister Trish Maguire; and most recently the Isle of Wight sequence about forensic psychologist Dr Karen Taylor. The latest of those, Vengeance in Mind, was shortlisted for the 2012 Gold Dagger. Natasha’s particular interests lie in the psychology of offenders, the plasticity of the brain, and the way emotion can change its physical structures. When not writing novels and short stories, she reviews other people’s work for, among others, the TLS and the Catholic Herald. She also writes a monthly crime column for www.bookoxygen.com.

  Stella Duffy has written thirteen novels, over fifty short stories, and ten plays. She has twice won Stonewall Writer of the Year and twice won the CWA Short Story Dagger. HBO have optioned her Theodora novels for a TV mini-series. Her story collection, Everything is Moving, Everything is Joined, and her Doctor Who novella, Anti-Hero, were published in 2014. Stella is also a theatre-maker, Associate Artist with Improbable, Artistic Director of Shaky Isles Theatre, and founder of The Chaosbaby Project. She is the Co-Director of Fun Palaces, the campaign for greater engagement for all – in ALL culture.

  Martin Edwards is the author of eighteen novels, including the Lake District Mysteries, the most recent of which is The Dungeon House. His other publications include The Golden Age of Murder, a study of detective fiction between the world wars with a focus on the early years of the Detection Club. He has edited twenty-six anthologies of crime fiction and fact, has won the CWA Short Story Dagger and the CWA Margery Allingham Prize, and is series consultant for the British Library’s Crime Classics. He is archivist of the Crime Writers’ Association and the Detection Club, and succeeded Simon Brett as President of the Detection Club in November 2015.

  Ruth Dudley Edwards is a historian and journalist. The targets of her satirical crime novels include the civil service, Cambridge University, gentlemen’s clubs, the House of Lords, the Church of England, and literary prizes. She won the 2010 CWA Gold Dagger for non-fiction for Aftermath: The Omagh Bombings and the Families’ Pursuit of Justice, the 2008 CrimeFest Last Laugh Award for Murdering Americans, which was set in an Indiana university, and the 2013 Goldsboro Last Laugh Award for her twelfth novel, Killing the Emperors, a black comedy about the preposterous world of conceptual art. You can find her online at: www.ruthdudleyedwards.com.

  Tim Heald was educated at Sherborne School and Balliol College, Oxford. He started his professional life as a journalist and has continued to write extensively for the Sunday Times, The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Daily Express, The Spectator and many other publications. He has travelled all over the world on journalistic assignments (including playing elephant polo in Nepal with Ringo Starr and Billy Connolly). Tim has written biographies of Prince Philip and Princess Margaret and, demonstrating his strong interest in cricket, of Denis Compton and Brian Johnston. His crime writing has included a series about the Board of Trade investigator Simon Bognor (televised starring David Horovitch) and another featuring the academic Reader in Criminal Studies Dr Tudor Cornwall.

  Michael Jecks is best known for his popular Knights Templar medieval crime series, but he also writes modern spy novels (Act of Vengeance), short story collections, a series set during the reign of Bloody Mary, and the acclaimed Vintener trilogy about archers in the Hundred Years War. He is working on a new series set during the Crusades. The founder of Medieval Murderers, Michael has been Chairman of the Crime Writers’ Association (2004/5) and is a keen supporter of new writing. He organised the CWA’s Debut Dagger competition for two years, and works with the Royal Literary Fund to help students, charities and businesses with writing skills. He is a popular guest speaker all over the world, but his greatest claim to fame is that he was once Grand Marshal of the first parade at the New Orleans Mardi Gras. Michael lives in Devon and plots murder at all times.

  Janet Laurence is the author of three series of crime novels: a contemporary one of ten novels featuring the cook, Darina Lisle; and one around the Italian painter, Canaletto, set in the mid-eighteenth century during his time in London. Her latest series is set at the start of the twentieth century and features Ursula Grandison, an American girl in her late twenties experiencing England and murder, aided by an English detective, Thomas Jackman. An ex-Chairman of the UK Crime Writers’ Association, and member of the Detection Club, Janet lives in Somerset, and has recently been elected to the Management Committee of the Society of Authors. She is also the author of Writing Crime Fiction: Making Crime Pay, and several cookery books. Under the pen name of Julia Lisle she has published women’s contemporary fiction.

  Peter Lovesey was once told that with a name like his he should be writing romantic fiction. Instead he took up crime writing and found himself in the company of authors with names like Slaughter and Gash. Slightly hard of hearing, in 1974 he joined what he thought was a friendship group known as the Affection Club and found himself being asked to place his hand on a human skull and promise to observe a seemly moderation in the use of gangs, conspiracies, death rays, ghosts, hypnotism, trapdoors, Chinamen, super-criminals and mysterious poisons unknown to science. He has been trying to leave ever since, but is too polite to mention it. Amongst many awards, Peter has received the CWA Diamond Dagger. He would like it to be known that his contributions to The Sinking Admiral are the few bits you could safely read to the vicar.

  Michael Ridpath, before becoming a writer, used to work as a bond trader in the City of London. He has written eight financial thrillers, a couple of spy novels, and the Fire and Ice series, featuring the Icelandic detective Magnus Jonson.

  David Roberts was a publisher for thirty years before turning to crime. He is the author of a ten-book series published by Constable & Robinson set in the 1930s featuring Lord Edward Corinth and Verity Browne. Peter James described Sweet Sorrow, the final book in the series, as ‘A gripping, richly satisfying whodunit, with finely observed characters, sparkling with insouciance and stinging menace’.

  L.C. Tyler was born in Essex and was educated there and at Oxford University and City University Business School. His comic crime series featuring author-and-agent duo Ethelred Tressider and Elsie Thirkettle has been twice nominated for Edgar Allan Poe awards in the US and he won the Goldsboro Last Laugh Award (best comic crime novel of the year) with Herring in the Library and Crooked Herring. His new historical crime series (the latest of which is A Masterpiece of Corruption) features seventeenth-century lawyer, John Grey. He has lived and worked all over the world but more recently has been based in London and West Sussex. He can be found online at: www.lctyler.com.

  Laura Wilson’s acclaimed and award-winning crime novels have won her many fans. Her novel Stratton’s War won the Ellis Peters Award, while The Lover and A Thousand Lies were both shortlisted for the CWA Gold Dagger. Laura is the Guardian’s crime fiction reviewer. She lives in London.

  Also in this series

  THE FLOATING ADMIRAL

  ASK A POLICEMAN

  SIX AGAINST THE YARD

  THE ANATOMY OF MURDER

  THE DETECTION COLLECTION

  About the Publisher

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