She’d done her best to pull away from him without waking him up, and she’d succeeded. The next mission impossible had been the kids, but they’d expertly gotten ready that morning without making a sound.
“Mewanie,” June said. “Can I see Daddy today?”
“Not today, sugar.”
June looked at Mel and pouted. “Why not?”
“He’s hurt.”
“Daddy doesn’t get hurt. He’s Superman,” Blake said.
If only that were true, she thought.
Mel ordered Bennett and Cindy some breakfast to go, and then the four of them loaded up in Cindy’s SUV and went back to the hospital. When they got there, they met Cindy in the hallway as she was heading back to Danny’s room from the bathroom.
“Mama,” June said, letting go of Mel’s hand and running down the hallway.
“Slow down, Peachtree,” Cindy said, bending down and holding her arms out for her daughter. June didn’t listen and she flew right into her mother’s arms.
“Can I see Daddy?” June asked.
“Not today.”
“Why not?”
“He’s sleeping and trying to get better,” Cindy said, trying to keep the pain out of her voice.
“All right.” June pouted some more. “Here’s bweakfast for you and Uncle B.”
“And coffee that doesn’t taste like sludge,” Mel said under her breath so the nurse down the hallway couldn’t hear.
“Sounds like perfection,” Cindy said, smiling.
“Is Bennett here?” Mel asked as she handed Cindy her coffee. Dylan was holding her box of food, and Alex had Bennett’s.
“He’s with Danny now. I’m going to go eat this in the cafeteria with the kids.”
“I’ll take Bennett his,” Mel held out her hand for the white polystyrene box that Alex had, and then she headed down the hallway.
When she got to the room she peeked in the open door to find Bennett sitting next to Danny’s bed, staring off into space.
Mel knocked lightly and Bennett looked up, a frown plain as day on his face. He was not happy to see her.
“Hey,” she said softly. “I brought you food.”
Bennett stood up and crossed the room to her. “Thanks,” he said as he took the box and coffee from her outstretched hands.
That was it. One word. That was all she got.
He didn’t pull her into his arms. Didn’t kiss her. Didn’t touch her. His eyes were cold. Distant. Not anything she’d ever seen before.
“I’m going to spend the day with the kids. Get them out of the hotel room. Out of the hospital.”
“I’m sure Cindy will appreciate that,” he said as he set the food down on a table.
“All right.” She looked at him for a minute, trying to figure out what to say. “Bennett, I—”
“I’ll see you later.” He leaned in and quickly kissed her on the forehead, before he turned around, effectively dismissing her from the room.
* * *
There was some small part of Bennett that felt bad about how he’d treated Mel. But he was able to push it to the side. He couldn’t focus on her right now. All he could concentrate on was his best friend and not losing his damn mind.
With Mel watching the kids, Bennett and Cindy were able to spend more time at the hospital with Danny. Bennett gave Cindy the night watch again on Saturday, and much like the night before, Bennett spent an hour walking around outside in the cold trying to think. But nothing was processing.
He’d pretty much avoided seeing Mel all day. There was something about her being so close that made him even more on edge. Why? He had no freaking clue, but he hated how he was treating her. He knew she deserved better.
When he got back to the hotel room it was after midnight and everyone was asleep again. He lay there next to Mel watching her sleep. He could handle her being close like this, when she was asleep and not able to see how weak he really was.
The helicopter was losing altitude. They were falling, plummeting toward the ground, but somehow they landed. Bullets were piercing through the cabin like it was paper. The glass from the cockpit shattered and Markel and Redding were gone—they never even had a chance to get out of their seats.
Bennett and Denham were out last. He lifted his gun and aimed in the direction of the gunfire, getting off a few good shots. He headed for the other side of the helicopter, and as he rounded the corner the bullet hit him, sending him flying back.
He was screaming as he woke up in bed. The pain in his shoulder was real, or it sure as hell felt like it. He couldn’t breathe past it. Could barely hear anything above the gunfire that was echoing in his head.
“Bennett! Bennett!”
Mel’s voice was coming through like static, but it was too hard to focus on. The blackness was swallowing him. Eating him alive.
He wasn’t sure if it was just instinct or something else entirely, but he moved his legs over the edge of the bed. He dropped his head between his thighs and started taking deep breaths. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, but at some point he realized Mel was kneeling behind him on the bed, rubbing his back in circles.
“It’s okay,” she was whispering over and over again.
It was those two words that set him off. Everything wasn’t fucking okay.
“Stop,” he said barely above a whisper. He needed her hands to not be on him.
“What?”
“I said stop.”
She backed away from him as he got up and crossed the room. He turned around and Mel was looking at him, wide eyed and more than a little scared. She was still kneeling on the bed. Her hair was dripping wet and she was wrapped in a towel.
She didn’t say anything. She just looked at him.
“Where are the kids?”
It took her a second to respond, like his question threw her off. “Cindy’s parents got here early this morning. They came by and got the kids to take them to breakfast.” She continued to look at him like he was a stranger. “Bennett, what was that?”
“A bad dream.”
“What kind of bad dream?”
“The kind I don’t want to talk about.”
“Are you okay?”
“Am I okay? My best friend is lying in a hospital bed with half of his body broken. If he makes it out of this, his life will still be completely ruined. So no Mel, I’m not fucking okay.” He did nothing to mask the harshness in his voice.
Mel got up from the bed, concerned, and took a few steps toward him, and then stopped when her eyes connected with his cold ones. “I know what’s going on isn’t easy for you. That’s why I’m here.”
“You have no idea what’s going on with me. You shouldn’t have come.”
“What?”
“You shouldn’t have come,” he repeated. “And with Cindy’s family here, you don’t need to be here anymore.”
“I came for you.”
“I don’t need you.” He said that with so much finality that she flinched back, her eyes going all wide and wounded. His chest started to hurt, and he knew it wasn’t from the remnants of his nightmare. But he couldn’t care about Mel’s feelings. He needed her to leave. He needed to be alone, so he had to drive his point home. “Go.”
She looked at him in complete and total shock, but a moment later it was replaced by a look of resignation that Bennett had never seen before.
“I don’t know who this is standing in front of me right now, but you’re not the man I know, not the man I…”
She wasn’t choked up, but it was obvious she couldn’t finish what she was about to say. Bennett didn’t want to think about her unspoken words. And even in her silence she stood there calmly, so calmly in fact that it threw Bennett a little off guard when she started talking again.
“The man I thought you were, the man I know, would never talk to me like that, no matter what he was going through.”
“Then I’m obviously not that man.”
“I made a serious mistake.”
“Like I said, I didn’t ask you to come up here.”
“That wasn’t what I was talking about.” Mel said abruptly, her hand coming up in the air to stop him from saying anything. “I meant everything. Everything we had, everything that ever involved you. It was all a mistake. A lie. I don’t…I don’t know who you are. I was wrong, so very wrong to ever think I actually knew you. You never let me all the way in. Not really. And you were never going to, were you? No matter how much I asked, no matter how patient I was, no matter how much I begged for you to just let me in, you were never going to?” Her hand dropped from the air as she looked at him for the answer.
Bennett didn’t say anything. He just slowly shook his head.
“I waited all this time for something that was never going to happen. Well, I’m done waiting. I’m done with trying to get something out of nothing. I’m done with everything. I’m done with you, with us.”
She might’ve been standing there almost completely naked, but she was so strong, stronger than he would ever be. He knew it as he watched her wet hair drip down and soak into the towel. He was being a complete and total asshole. He knew that, too. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be with anyone, and he especially didn’t deserve her.
“Well, I’m glad you figured it all out.” He reached down and grabbed his boots from the floor before he walked out of the room. And if his world wasn’t completely broken before, it most certainly was now.
Chapter Nineteen
Can’t Stop
The drive back from Athens was without a doubt the longest six hours of Mel’s life. She hadn’t shed a tear, not even when Bennett had walked out of that hotel room. She’d been too much in shock. She was still in shock. She had no idea what had happened.
She’d just gotten out of the shower when Bennett had started screaming. She’d run into the room to find him flailing around in the bed. He’d woken up about a second later, and the fear that was evident in every fiber of his being had almost made her break down into tears. She’d never seen him like that.
But that had been nothing to the next five minutes. No, what followed had been way worse. She hadn’t been scared that he was going to hit her or anything. She thought she knew him enough to at least know that. But he had hurt her. Hurt her worse than anything or anyone had ever hurt her before.
She’d thought he loved her. She’d heard those words come out of his mouth. But they’d been a lie. Just like everything else.
It had all been a lie.
The thought of going home to that empty house was more than Mel could take. She’d left Teddy with Grace and Jax while she’d been gone, but she wanted him with her. It didn’t matter that he was a present from Bennett. She couldn’t have cared less about that fact. It didn’t take anything away from how much she loved Teddy and how much Teddy loved her—unconditionally, in fact.
The problem was getting Teddy, which meant she was going to have to see people.
Mel pulled up in front of the house and put her car in Park. She sat there for a good couple of minutes as the hot air leaked out and the cold air took its place. She was trying to fortify herself, but the colder she got the less fortified she felt.
“Now or never.” She pushed open the door and made her way up the front steps to the house.
Jax opened the door, Teddy bouncing around his feet. The second he got a good look at her his face fell. “What happened?”
Yup. That was it. That was all it took for everything in Mel to completely fall apart.
“Shit, Mel. Come here,” he grabbed her and pulled her into the house, wrapping his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest.
It was done. Her and Bennett’s relationship was done. Over. She’d never seen it coming.
They just stood there for a minute, or two. Actually, Mel had absolutely no idea how long they stood there. But Jax’s hands were running up and down her back. Teddy was whining at their feet, and he climbed up Mel’s legs and pawed at her. When she was finally able to breathe regularly she pulled back from Jax and wiped at her face.
“What happened?” he asked, running his hands up and down her arms.
Mel shrugged and shook her head, biting her trembling lip. “He didn’t want me there. He doesn’t want me at all.”
“He’s an idiot.”
Mel laughed, but it was harsh and bitter, and directed at herself. “I’m pretty sure I’m the idiot.”
“You’re not.” He shook his head. “Grace isn’t here. She had to go do something with Paige for the wedding. But she’ll be back soon. I can call her.”
“No, don’t do that. I’m actually going to just get Teddy and go.”
“You should stay, Mel. Don’t go home. Don’t go and be by yourself. It’s not going to help. It’s just going to make you feel worse.”
“You the expert on the matter?”
“Yeah I am. ’Cause when Grace and I broke up, being by myself almost killed me.”
“Well, you don’t sugarcoat anything, do you?”
“Come on.” He put his hand at the small of her back and led her through the house. “Take a hot shower. You’ll feel better.”
Mel just looked at him and raised her eyebrows.
“Physically, at least.”
“I don’t know if that’s possible.”
“Well, we have wine.”
Mel burst into laughter, but this time it was real.
“Give me your keys,” he said when they got to the bathroom. “I’ll go get your bags.”
He turned to walk away and Mel touched his arm, stopping him. “Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary. You’re my almost wife’s best friend. She’d kill me if I didn’t take care of you.”
“That’s true.” She let go of his arm and turned, pushing the door of the bathroom open. But this time it was Jax who stopped her from walking away. “You’re my friend, too, Mel. And I think you deserve the world.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead before he stepped back. “You’re not the stupid one. He is.” And with that, he walked down the hallway.
Mel took the longest shower of her life. She was pretty sure she’d used every drop of hot water in the house, probably all of the hot water in Mirabelle. By the time she got out, Grace still wasn’t home.
After crying in the shower she really wanted to lie down; her head was killing her. And after being in hot water for so long, she was freezing in the cooler air. She went and crawled into a bed in one of the guest rooms and Teddy snuggled up next to her. Mel ran her fingers through his fur and he shifted closer to her, putting his cold little nose right up against her throat and breathing out hard. It tickled and Mel laughed.
And just like that she was crying again.
God, the whole thing was so stupid. Why couldn’t she stop? Why couldn’t she stop caring? She wanted desperately to fall asleep, but it just wasn’t coming. The sweet relief of oblivion refused to claim her.
The door creaked open and a few seconds later the bed dipped. Mel knew it was Grace who was crawling under the covers next to her. Knew it was Grace’s arms that were wrapping around her.
“Oh Mel,” Grace whispered. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
Mel was sobbing now. Sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe.
Grace just held her through it, held Mel until there were no more tears. They lay there in silence for only a moment before Grace said something.
“I’m not going to feed you some line of bullshit that it’s all okay and you’re going to feel better, because then I’d be lying to you, and I’m not going to do that.”
“Good,” Mel said through a voice that barely sounded like hers. She rolled over so she could look at her best friend’s face.
“Oh, sweetie. I know it hurts. Believe me, I know just how much.” Grace reached up and ran her thumb under each of Mel’s eyes.
“He said he loved me.”
“When?”
“The other night. He thought I was asleep. But he said it, Mel. He sai
d it. And then today…I don’t even know who he was today.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t even know really. It happened so fast. I mean he was distant the whole time I was up there, but that I understood. His friend is beyond hurt. Bennett’s worried about Danny, so I wasn’t going to overthink his mood. It wasn’t about me, at all. I got it, completely and totally. But then this morning, I don’t know what happened.”
“Mel?”
She told Grace how it had all gone down: Bennett’s dream, his anger, his dismissal.
“Did he hurt you?” Grace asked.
“Physically? No,” Mel shook her head. “But the way he talked to me…I never thought he could be so cruel. Not him. Not ever.”
“Oh, sweetie.”
“I still love him, Grace. I love him so much.”
“Did you tell him?”
“No. I was too much of a coward.”
“You’re not the coward, Mel. You’re incredibly brave,” Grace said.
“It hurts. I never thought something could hurt like this.” The tears made a magical reappearance at that moment, and Grace reached out and wiped them away.
“Another thing I’m not going to tell you is that Bennett isn’t worth your tears. I’ve never cried so much as I have over Jax, and if anybody were to tell me he wasn’t worth it, I’d claw their eyes out with my bare hands. Bennett might not be worth it, but he might be worth everything, and it’s not my place to tell you which it is. But that being said, I will tell you that I hate him right now, and the fact that he’s done this to you makes me want to claw his eyes out.”
Mel laughed again. She couldn’t help it.
“Did you eat anything today?”
Mel shook her head.
“Well, I’m guessing you want to lay in this bed and wallow more than anything. And if that’s the decision you make, that is entirely acceptable.”
“But—”
“But, Harper is coming over,” Grace said, sitting up. “I’m going to make dinner and we’re going to drink a lot of wine. A lot. Of. Wine. You can cry, and scream, and eat fifty pounds of chocolate, and for your information I’m making my raspberry mousse. You can do whatever your heart desires. But I’m going to be here, Harper is going to be here, and Jax is, too, for whatever use he’s going to be. My point is, you aren’t alone, Mel. You never have been, and you never will be, no matter what happens with the idiot fucker who’s making you cry. Got it?”
Unstoppable (A Country Roads Novel) Page 27
