by Marchman, AC
Donovan takes his thumb and pulls my lip from my teeth. “I think you are still a bit sore. Besides, I don‘t keep condoms in the shower.” He frowns. “Maybe I should from now on.”
My mouth is on his within seconds, and I wrap my arms around his neck. I feel his sharp intake of breath, and I know I took him by surprise. Donovan doesn’t miss a beat and lifts me up with his strong arms under my backside. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he puts my back against the wall of the shower, all while we kiss. He tugs on my lip. I grab his shoulder and moan into his mouth. Yes, I’m pretty sore still, but damn it, I want him.
Donovan lets me down and says, “Turn around.” I do as I’m told and turn towards the wall. He takes my hands and places them above my head. He slips his arm around my waist and puts his other on my pubic area, making my ass stick out. He thrusts two fingers in and out of me, and I hiss through clenched teeth. I tilt my head back and feel myself tighten. Again I cum, violently with no holds barred.
I stand there, panting like an animal, trying unsuccessfully to catch my breath. Donovan turns me around and just stares at me. “I love watching you cum.”
I look into those blue eyes, and my heart melts inside my chest. My mind tells me it’s too soon to love him, but my heart is unable to hold back. I don’t want to get hurt, but my feelings for Donovan are so intense and passionate. It would break me into a million pieces if I ever lost him. I wrap my arms around him, not ever wanting to let go. I’m going to hold my feelings back from him. I don’t want to scare him off. Donovan kisses my forehead and runs his fingers through my wet, tangled hair. “We should finish washing, baby doll.” So, we do.
“My sister has a room here. I didn’t think of it before, but she has tons of clothes here. She wouldn’t mind if you borrowed some. It’s the second room on the left,” Donovan calls from the bathroom.
“Okay, thanks.” I tighten my towel and pad down the hallway in my bare feet. I open the door to Megan’s room, and I’m given a glimpse into Donovan’s sister’s life.
“Wow,” I mutter. Her room is beautiful. The walls are lilac, and the floor is hardwood. There’s a huge walk-in closet, along with three dressers. Her bed is about the size of a queen with a canopy hanging above it with sheer lilac curtains streaming down. The comforter looks like it’s made of down feathers, and it’s also the same color as the walls. “No wonder my dress was purple,” I giggle to myself. I walk over to the closet and switch on the light. “Oh, my!” I can’t believe the size of it! It’s bigger than my bedroom, and it’s wall to wall clothes. There are dresses, sweaters, shirts, belts, scarves. Everything. I don’t even know where to start.
I feel guilty looking through Megan’s clothes, being that I’ve never even met her. Donovan said she wouldn’t mind, and she obviously knows about me since she helped set up last night’s beautiful evening. I decide on a light pink sundress with capped sleeves. I slide it over my head, and I’m shocked that it fits perfectly. Well, Donovan did say we were the same size. I look down, and I see tons of shoes. I wonder if we are the same shoe size. I pick out a pair of white wedge sandals and become excited that they fit. I look into the antique mirror Megan has in her closet, and I’m satisfied. “Good enough,” I mutter as I head back down the hallway towards Donovan’s room.
I walk in, and he’s dressed as well. He is wearing khakis that hang off his hips with a white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair is still damp, and it hangs on his forehead and just over his ears. Wow, he’s so hot.
“You look stunning.” Donovan saunters over to me, his blue eyes sparkling. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. I inhale his scent and sigh.
“You ready, baby?”
“Yeah, let me grab my purse.” I stop dead in my tracks. “Shit, Livey! I forgot to call her!” I run to the kitchen. I had set my purse down when Donovan grabbed our wine last night. I search for my cell phone and see two missed calls. I groan.
I dial her number, and she answers on the third ring. “Well, damn it, it’s about time! I was worried about you.” Her tone is chipped. Uh oh, she’s mad.
“Livey, I’m sorry! I have so much to tell you. We got swamped by photographers coming out of the Sun Dial.” I try to distract her from her annoyance with me.
“Oh, that I already know. It’s on the front page of the society pages, and there are pictures floating all over the internet.” My mouth drops open. “But don’t worry, they didn’t get a good shot of you, but I knew Donovan and of course, the dress.”
“Oh. My. God.” is all I could say. What the hell? We’re all over the society pages and the internet? How the hell could I let this happen?
“Look, we will talk when you get here. I’m off today, so I have to run a few errands for Daddy.
By the way, he wants to do dinner tonight. You able to come? He wants to meet at 6:00, is that ok?”
“Yes, that sounds good. I’m not sure what time I’ll be home. I’ll call you in a little while. Bye.”
“Bye, sweetie.”
I put my phone back in my purse as Donovan comes around the corner. “Everything alright, baby?”
“Yeah, I guess. We are in the papers this morning, as well as the internet.” I look up at his beautiful face, and it’s crazy how his presence alone can make me feel so protected.
“Oh, well. It will be okay. I’m not ashamed to be seen with you, so don’t think that. I got a hot babe on my arm.” His statement makes me laugh, and I smack his arm.
“Before we go, we should probably eat. A late breakfast sounds good to me,” I say, realizing that I am famished. Must have been all the sex and the energy I have exerted in the last few days.
“I think you have really good ideas.” Donovan walks over to the refrigerator and looks in. “Uh, what do you like?” It occurs to me he doesn’t know what food I like other than nachos, pizza, and sea scallops. I giggle. We have much to learn about each other, and I can’t wait.
“Let me see what you have to work with.” I walk up and stand beside him. His fridge is so nice and neat and fully stocked. I pull out a carton of eggs, cheese, sausage links, and orange juice,
“How does scrambled eggs sound to you?”
“Sounds great, but this is my house, and I want to make it for you.” Donovan bends down and pulls out a pan from a bottom cabinet.
“Well, why don’t we make it together?” I ask as I look for the non-stick spray in the pantry.
“Okay, deal,” Donovan says with a breathtaking smile. He pulls out a mixing bowl and a fork.
He lights the stove and lets the pan heat up. Then he turns to help me crack the eggs. He grabs the salt and pepper, while I mix in the cheese. It’s really nice, doing something so normal like making breakfast together. He pours half the mixture in the pan and puts the links in the other pan that’s heated. In the meantime, I grab the glasses for the juice.
“It smells great. I didn’t realize I was so hungry.” My mouth is practically watering. “Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.”
“Mine too, baby doll.” Donovan folds the eggs over. I sit at the kitchen island, watching him. I’m just surprised he is so at ease in a kitchen. Not like my brother, for sure. Jon couldn’t make toast when we were growing up. I guess his wife Jodi is the cook in the family. I chuckle to myself.
Donovan finishes our breakfast and sets a hot plate in front of me. I grab my fork and start to dig in. It tastes so good, I eat half of it before I know it.
“I’m not such a bad cook, huh?” Donovan winks at me as he eats. He picks up his glass and holds it out towards me. I grab mine, and we clink them together. “Here’s to breakfast with an incredibly wonderful woman. You know, I haven‘t done this in a long time.”
I look at him and a smart ass smirk comes to my lips. “What? Eat breakfast?”
Donovan throws his head back in laughter, and I frown. “No, baby. Making breakfast with a girl and eating together. I can’t remember the last time I did it. Well, o
ther than family and Claire.”
He stops and has an ‘oh shit’ look on his face.
I silently smolder at the mention of Claire‘s name. I lose my appetite and set my fork down.
Donovan looks at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.“ He rubs his head like it hurts. “Like I told you before, it was only Claire and one night stands in my past. So, I really don’t have anything else to compare us to.”
I stare at him for a moment. All of time is suspended when I look into those blue eyes. I know it’s true, and I have to get over my jealousy of the past. We have only known each other for a few days, I have to remind myself. How in the world am I going to stop myself from getting so jealous where Donovan is concerned?
Donovan closes his eyes for a beat and continues. “I don’t know if I can control myself around you. It really scares me.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s something about you that intrigues me and excites me. You are like no one I have ever met. Do you feel the same about me?” He hangs his head a bit.
I swallow, and I try to form the words in my head. Soon, they are flowing out, uncontrolled. “Yes.
I do feel the same way. I have a hard time expressing myself verbally. Physically, there is no problem showing you how I feel.” I play with my napkin, unable to look at him, but my words don’t stop. “But, you must understand. I have been hurt more than you know. My heart was shattered by Matt and what he did to me.” I cringe at the mention of that name. “I am just hoping you are the one that will pick up the pieces and make me whole again. It’s not going to be an easy job, but I hope you are up to it.”
“Allie, I have to know. What did Matt do to you? Why did he make you so shattered?” Donovan looks up, his blue eyes intense, his brow furrowed.
Well, it’s now or never. I put my hands into my lap and start to talk about the horrible things that happened.
“When Matt had pushed me to the ground,” I start where I left off, “I was humiliated and embarrassed. His stupid friends sat back and even laughed at me. Matt stood over me. I was crying so hard.” The lump starts to build in my throat. I try to swallow it down.
“I was so scared to even move. Then all of a sudden, he pulled me off the ground and took me to his bedroom. He slammed the door and started kissing me.” I put my head in my hands.
“I tried to push him off me, he tasted like beer and smelled like pot. He wouldn’t stop. He started to take off my shirt...“ A shudder runs through me as I picture his face. “He threw me down on the bed and said, ‘I want you right now, I’m ready for us to do it.’ He told me he loved me, and this is what people did when they loved each other. So I gave in, and I let him have sex with me. I did it more out of fear of losing him than anything.” I shake my head, ashamed of my actions. "I thought by having sex with him, he wouldn’t leave me. But it hurt so bad, since I was a virgin, and Matt wasn’t very affectionate. He just laid on top of me and pounded away.”
Donovan stares at me, wide-eyed, his mouth open. I see his fists clenched on the table and his face turning red. Oh no, he’s so angry. At me? No, he couldn’t be. Or is he so disgusted with me, he can’t put it into words?
“Well, once it was over, he zipped himself up, and I saw the door was cracked. I tried to cover myself because I knew his friends were there. They were laughing so hard.” The tears start to burn my eyes.
“I slammed the door and got dressed. When I walked out to leave, T-Dogg held his phone up and showed a picture of me, naked as Matt was on top of me. I was so mortified. I ran out, screaming and crying.” My voice gets quieter as I bare my soul to Donovan. It’s getting so hard to finish.
“I went home and told my dad about it. He took me down to the hospital. I begged him not to, but he did it anyway. They did exams on me, and the police came to talk to me. They said because I was a minor, it was considered statutory rape, since Matt was over eighteen. My dad really wanted to press charges. They took notes and said they would call me.” I close my eyes as my tears travel down my cheeks. “We went home, I got on Facebook. When I signed in, T-Dogg had posted that picture to my page…oh God.”
I break down; the crying starts. My body is racking with out of control, gut wrenching sobs. I wail and throw my head into my hands. Donovan sits on the stool next to me and grabs me. He pulls me into his lap. He rocks me like a child, holding me tightly. “Oh, God. I am so sorry. I had no idea that was what you were going to tell me. I’m so sorry.” As he rocks me back and forth, the sobs start to calm down. My tears have stopped, and my head starts to hurt. I wrap my arms around Donovan’s neck. We sit there like this for a while, until I am completely okay. Donovan pulls me back and looks at my face. “That’s why I didn’t tell you before,” I say quietly.
“I’m so sorry that I pushed you to tell me that,” Donovan has tears in his eyes.
“I would have told you. I wanted to tell you. It’s just so hard to talk about.” I wipe my face with my napkin. “The picture got taken down after fifteen minutes, but it was long enough to do the damage. Which sixteen or seventeen-year-old do you know who’s not on Facebook constantly?”
My voice cracks, hoarse from the breakdown. “People called me names. I'm almost sure Holly had a big hand in that. That’s all I heard at school. ‘Whore.’ ‘Slut.’ Things like that.” My sadness is replaced by anger. “My last year was horrible. My parents pressed charges against him, and he was found guilty, as well as his friends taking a pornographic picture of a minor.“ I give a tight lipped smile, at least there was some sort of victory for me. “But that’s not the worst part.” I swallow back the lump in my throat and get ready to drop this bomb on Donovan. This is the one thing Livey doesn’t even know about me. This will make or break us, when he will decide whether he wants me or not. “I ended up getting pregnant by Matt. All it took was that one time. I gave birth to a baby boy in April of my senior year. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, so I gave the baby up for adoption.” I fight the tears back as I speak of the son I’ve only seen a handful times. “I know he is with a good family. They let me see him every time I go home.”
Donovan sits back, shell shocked. “So, you have a son?”
“Yes, I do. His name is Jackson.” I smile at the mention of his name. “He is a beautiful child, with my green eyes and Matt’s dark hair. He knows I’m his birth mommy, and the Andersons’ who adopted him are his real mommy and daddy.” I glance towards Donovan to gauge his reaction. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but this is what I am worried the reporters will find out about me. They will know that I had a kid and gave him away. It’s not like that. I just couldn’t take care of him. I was a kid myself, and I gave him to a family I knew would love him.”
Donovan ran his hand through his hair. “Well, you really dropped a bomb on me. But, I can’t blame you. It’s hard taking care of a child, and you did the selfless thing. You gave your son a good life, and at least you get to see Jackson.” He smiles back warmly. “You are really an amazing person, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of doing that.” He cocks his head at me.
“Trust me when I say, I will never judge you by your past.”
I can’t believe he is so accepting of this, but I am forever grateful. “Thank you for understanding. It really means alot to me.” I close my eyes tightly and squeeze the tears from my eyes. “Matt even wrote me a letter later, saying how sorry he was, that he didn‘t know what had come over him, that he loved me still. He wanted to be a family with Jackson and me.
Whatever.”
“What happened to him?”
“I know he got probation, and his picture was put on the sexual offenders page. I made sure he was never going to see Jackson. After that, I don’t know.”
“If I ever see him, I’ll kill him myself." Donovan’s voice is laced with hatred and anger. It makes me shudder. He holds me tighter. We sit there for a long time. He holds me in his lap and rocks me back and forth. He finally says to me “We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to. We can stay here
if you like.”
“No, we can go. Just let me check my face. I don’t want to look like I’ve been crying.” I crawl off his lap and go to the downstairs bathroom. I look into the mirror and let out a sigh. My face is red and blotchy, and my eyes are bloodshot. I look for some eye drops in hopes that it will clear my red eyes. I open the medicine cabinet and find some. I put two drops in each eye and blink.
At least they feel better. I turn the light off as I hear Donovan’s phone ring. I walk back into the kitchen quietly, hoping I don’t disturb him.
“Look, Regina, I don’t want to talk to you. I have nothing to say!” Donovan is shouting into the phone. What the hell did I walk in on? I step back into the hallway. I don’t want to eavesdrop, but I can’t seem to help myself.
“Well, you be sure to tell her this, too! I am done with her; I have been for a LONG time. I have moved on, and I’m very happy.” He pauses for the other person to speak. “I really don’t give a shit what you think. She is amazing in every way possible.” Another pause. “You know what?
I’m done with this conversation.” He hangs up the phone and slams it on the counter. “Fuck!”
I come around the corner and look at him warily. “Are you okay?” I whisper, hoping not to catch the same wrath Regina just felt.
His anger melts away when he sees me. He runs his hands through his brown hair and says,
“Yeah, baby. I’m okay. Just someone from my past coming back to haunt me.”
“Please explain.”
He sighs. “That was Regina, Claire’s sister. She is actually still on that show and keeps Claire’s name out there for the public to hear.” His tone chills when he speaks of her. “She’s always name dropping her on the stupid show and saying she’s going to get out of jail soon. She called to tell me that Claire wants me to visit her.” My eye grow huge. What the hell? “I told her no, that I didn’t want to see her. Regina saw us in the paper, and Claire called her, apparently pissed off and crying. Claire was extremely possessive over me. She used to try to fight girls that tried to talk to me.”
