Caelius smiled, one hand coming up to loosen the tie at his waist, shrugging out of the robe he wore and letting it puddle on the floor around his feet. “Good.” He lifted a brow with an inviting look. “Come. Take what you want.”
Gaidres’s eyes closed and for a heartbeat he didn’t respond before he shook his head. “You do not want that, Dominus.”
“I do.”
“Fool.” Gaidres reached out and snatched Caelius’s wrists, jerking them behind his back, free hand at the man’s neck in a heartbeat. Gaidres glared down at him. “If I took what I wanted of you, you would find yourself dead by my hands. Best you take what you want from me and be satisfied.” He snatched his hand away from that vulnerable throat, lest he be tempted.
Caelius stared up at him, shifting. He glanced at the door and the guard on the other side of the sheer curtain, poised with his hand on the sword. It reminded Gaidres that there were eyes watching them. Gaidres followed his gaze to the guard and Caelius kissed his jaw.
“You would not be far behind me.” Caelius arched against Gaidres. “Would you die with me? I can think of worse things.”
Gaidres’s eyes narrowed. “I am already dead,” he growled and then claimed Caelius’s lips. He did not concern himself that now Caelius knew his intent, his desire for the man’s blood. Caelius had already proven himself far too trusting with slaves in general, and him in particular.
He released Caelius’s wrists and hauled him closer, deepening the demanding kiss. There was no protest, no righteous fury at a slave daring to threaten his master. If anything, Caelius seemed enflamed by the danger of it and the only sound he made was a desperate, needy moan. Gaidres began to walk them backward, toward the center of the room, and soon they tumbled back onto the bed’s soft ticking, expensive silks and plump pillows.
Caelius laughed breathlessly as the kiss broke. He arched beneath Gaidres. “Made it to the bed this time, did we?”
Gaidres growled, one knee pushing between the man’s thighs and rocking against his bare hip. “This is just the opening battle…We’ll have the floor for the primus.”
Chapter Five
Much later, Caelius lay panting, still reeling from his orgasm, when Gaidres moved to rise. Caelius reached out and placed a hand on his stomach, shaking his head.
“You promised me a second battle, my beautiful gladiator.” His hand slid up Gaidres’s stomach, over his chest. That was a promise he would see that Gaidres honored. Once would not be enough. Caelius shifted to his knees on the bed and gave him a seductive glance. “Stay. There is wine, I can have food brought. Replenish yourself. You’ll need your energy.”
Gaidres hesitated and then nodded. Perhaps the lure of a cool glass of wine and a meal that wasn’t bread and porridge appealed, if Caelius did not. Caelius slid out of the bed gingerly, still feeling the ache of the fucking. Gaidres watched as he paused to wash himself at a basin of water on a stand beside the bed. Caelius gestured to it and the cloths beside it.
“Would you like to wash?”
“Gratitude, Dominus.”
Caelius gestured to the slave near the door, who then hurried away to fetch food. Caelius turned away from the door to find Gaidres looking at him sideways, almost as if he were a wild animal and the gladiator couldn’t decide if he was going to attack or stay put. Scowling, Gaidres turned away and set the cloth back in the basin, his muscles tensing as Caelius approached.
He touched Gaidres’s shoulder, ran his hand down the man’s side. So many scars. He couldn’t be any older than Caelius, yet he’d clearly seen a hard life in those same years. Gaidres turned his head, once again glaring at him. It was clear that the man had things to say and just as clear he had no intention of saying them. Given that he was a man of strong passions, it must be difficult for him to bite his tongue and stay silent, waiting for Caelius to make the first move.
“So stern and unbending.” He touched Gaidres’s jaw and then cupped his cheek. Gaidres’s lips pressed together. “It would not break you, I think, to take a little pleasure in your respites with me.”
The scowl deepened. “What would you know of it…Dominus?”
He cocked his head, studying Gaidres, and then withdrew his hand. This man had been hurt in ways far more painful than the obvious scars on his body indicated. It made Caelius question what he had meant earlier about being dead already and he vowed to find out what he could about Gaidres’s former life. Perhaps Felix could help.
Maybe he shouldn’t prod Gaidres so hard. It had to be an unusual situation for the gladiator, finding pleasure instead of pain at the hands of a Roman. Caelius turned back toward the rumpled bed and tossed Gaidres a glance over his shoulder.
“I know that your body experienced the same pleasure mine did and that you crave wine and something good to fill your belly.” He stretched out on his stomach on the bed and propped his chin on his hand. “You stare at me as if I just bit you.”
Caelius’s eyes caressed Gaidres’s chest. He could already see the changes in Gaidres’s appearance. The pinched look was gone about the eyes and mouth and while he was sweaty from toiling in the sun and the fucking that had followed, it was still clear that the gladiators had been given access to the baths each evening. Gaidres smelled of sun, wind, hard work and sex. Remembering it sent yearning ricocheting through him.
“Though, I’ll admit, the thought of biting you has crossed my mind. You look at me as if you’d just eaten something foul. Other than being a Roman, is it so hard to be in my company?”
Gaidres lowered his eyes. “No, Dominus. Apologies for my offense.”
He groaned. “I despise that proper talk. It’s all I hear, all day every day, proper this, deference that, the politics and the falsehoods. I tire of it, Gaidres, and would like my time with you to be at least a bit more honest.”
Gaidres glanced sidelong at him as if unsure how to respond.
Caelius sat up on the bed, as an idea occurred to him. “Perhaps an agreement between you and me?” He gestured to the room. “In this chamber, you may speak your mind. Without repercussion.”
Gaidres’s brows shot up. “You jest.”
He grinned, shaking his head. “I do not. I’m afraid you’ll have to hold off on that strangling me while you fuck me idea, but in this room consider your words your own.”
“And when we leave this room? What of repercussions then?”
“Ah. You mean, will you be punished later for what you say now? I would be offended by the suggestion that I would be so devious, but given the circumstances perhaps it makes sense. No, Gaidres. Words are not weapons. You cannot slay me with them, much as I think you might like to. I would know your mind here, even if it is not what I may want to hear.” Caelius tilted his head, his expression curious. “Can you do that?”
Gaidres gave him a short nod, his expression still not sure. Given what Caelius had learned of the gladiator he thought that Gaidres would consider it worth a lashing to not have to mind his words. He was sure Gaidres’s tongue burned with the hundred and one things he longed to say. “Yes, Dominus.”
“You called me a fool.”
Gaidres winced inwardly. He could just imagine the punishment for that error in judgment. He did not deny it, though. “I did, Dominus.”
“I cannot tell you how much that pleased me.”
“Now I know you jest.” Gaidres stopped as the curtains at the door parted and two young men entered, one bearing a laden platter covered by a fine cloth, and the other a jug of wine and two cups.
“That I do not.” Caelius gestured for them to set it on the small table near the bed and then for their dismissal. “For a moment, you’d spoken your mind. In truth, a fool I may be, and not just for taking you into my bed. And you would not be the only one who thinks so.” He laughed. “Just the only one who would say such to my face.”
Gaidres had expected reprisal for his words, his threat, his painful grip. Instead, Caelius seemed amused by it. The man was an enigma. What did he want o
f him? Sometimes it seemed like all he desired was a wild rutting and nothing more, then other times he was overly familiar, serving Gaidres instead of the other way around. It baffled him and he would have preferred things to be clear, to know what was expected of him and then be done with it.
Caelius rose and twitched aside the cloth, baring cheese, olives, sliced meats and fine bread. “You must be famished. Please, come eat.”
“You’re wrong.” Caelius gave him a confused look and Gaidres explained. “Words can be weapons. They may not slay, but they can wound.”
“You have a point,” Caelius admitted. “Words can wound if you let them, or if there is truth in them you don’t wish to admit. Or if you care. There are precious few whose opinions matter to me and all are within my household. And though my tongue has been used to lash others in court or to battle with my peers, I’ve not been known to use it to abuse others.”
He held out his hand to Gaidres and caught his arm. Gaidres allowed himself to be drawn to the table. “Time will show you if I speak truth or not, until then, take your ease. Eat. And if you wish, speak some of which you have bursting to come out of you, before you choke on it.”
Gaidres sat, his mouth watering at the sight of all that food. Since Caelius had taken over the ludus, the food had improved, in quality as well as amount, but slaves, even gladiators, did not receive fine meals like the one before him now. Meat was a rarity in the gladiator quarters, as it was heavy in the stomach and weighed a man down in battle. He reached for that first, glancing at the other man.
Caelius tilted his head. “What is it? That you wish to speak is obvious. Have I not given you permission?”
“Would you die for a stranger’s amusement?” Gaidres cursed himself the moment the words were out. What difference did it make if Caelius would or not? He would never be forced to and that was the difference between himself and his dominus.
Caelius bit an olive in half, his eyes thoughtful. “No. And I do not hold to the belief that because you are a slave you are not also a man, worth more than a few moments’ entertainment.”
Gaidres snorted, tearing a hunk of bread from the loaf. “And yet here I am. An afternoon’s entertainment. And the evening’s entertainment, as well. Is it different?”
Caelius sighed. “Not to you, I suppose. To me it is. You will not die sharing my bed, as you would in the arena. We both receive pleasure…perhaps that is a salve to my conscience.” He shook his head, pouring them both a goblet of wine. “I cannot make the games end, Gaidres. I resisted becoming involved at first. In my world, in my life…I do what I must the same as you. You are not the only one who finds his actions often dictated by others, whether you wish it or not.”
Gaidres didn’t doubt that. It was hardly comparable, though. “No one will kill you if you do not do as you’re told.”
Caelius laughed. “Won’t they? Surely you know how common it is for a man to meet his end at the tip of a rival’s dagger.”
Gaidres scowled and tore open the hunk of bread, stuffing it with some of the meat and cheese and even some of the olives. Who knew if or when he’d be offered such a meal again? He intended to make the most of it.
Caelius took a sip of his wine and seemed to eat more to keep Gaidres company than out of any real appetite.
“What changed your mind?” Gaidres paused to drink some wine before tearing off another hunk of bread. “Why become involved in the games now if you’ve resisted thus far?”
“I inherited you.” Caelius smiled. “And took that as a sign from the gods that if I wish to move forward in my career then I’d have to bow to others’ ideas of entertainment.”
“If you have no fondness for the games, then what do you find entertaining, Dominus?”
“Beautiful, naked males,” Caelius replied with a wicked chuckle. “In my bed, or playing with each other.”
“And if they resist?” Gaidres’s brows furrowed. “What if you see a particularly beautiful boy who has no interest in other men, but who cannot tell you no because he is a slave?”
Caelius’s mouth twisted in a grimace of distaste. “There is no pleasure in the forcing, or seeing tears and shame. Had I wanted to, I could’ve had you by force, done the fucking instead of you fucking me.”
Helpless rage leaped through Gaidres even as he nodded acknowledgement of that. However much his pride protested, it was the truth.
“And there would’ve been no pleasure in it for you. And you would’ve truly hated me.” Caelius shrugged. “I enjoy the giving and receiving. If there had been no desire of any kind in your eyes today, and if you had not responded to me before, I would have left you alone and found someone willing to use me.”
Gaidres had been curious about that since the first night. “Why would you have a slave use you, why not find someone of your stature, or above even, to use you? Why lower yourself and submit to the invasion of a slave?” It made no sense. He understood the pleasure of being penetrated, though it was not his preference. No, what baffled him was what pleasure Caelius gained from submitting to one who was beneath him. Normally, it was the other way around, with those above looking to force others to submit to them.
Caelius sipped his wine. “Now, that is the real question, isn’t it? Perhaps the answer to that should cost you more than immunity from reprisal.”
Gaidres’s eyes narrowed. “You said speak my mind.”
“That’s true. In reality, the why of it is not so complicated. The lack of complication is, in fact, the main reason. My desires are, as you seem well aware, unusual. Those of my station who knew would cease seeing me as worthy of the power I hold now. A slave, however…”
“Can neither tell tales nor treat you any less than as your position demands.” Gaidres sat back as understanding dawned.
Caelius raised his glass. “See? Clever, just as I suspected.” He leaned forward, one hand slipping up along Gaidres’s bare thigh. “Not to mention the aesthetics. Men of standing do not have the strength and the physical stature I desire. Most go soft well before their time.”
Gaidres’s eyes raked over Caelius. He was not muscular, but neither was he soft. Anywhere but his plump ass, that is. “You are not soft, Dominus.”
Caelius’s eyes lit up and he laughed. “No, I am not. And I wager, with you to bed me often, I won’t be getting that way anytime soon.”
Desire rose as Caelius let his hand slip to his inner thigh. “You don’t feel it lowers you to be penetrated by a slave?” Gaidres poured them both another glass of wine, watching Caelius’s face, searching for a lie or evasion. “A gladiator who is nothing more than an animal?”
“You are not an animal.” Then he smiled. “Well, perhaps a lion, but only because of your pride. Those who think gladiators mere animals underestimate those men. And perhaps they’ll discover that to their own folly one day. As for lowering me? Gaidres, I think too highly of myself to be lowered based solely on who I choose to lie with. And the ones who would claim such probably live in fear of their own slaves revolting. All I ask from my own is obedience, loyalty and hard work. In return I offer my protection, my own loyalty and the respect they are due for their service.”
“You are a strange man, Dominus.” That was, perhaps, understating the fact.
“True enough. I’ve been named worse.”
Caelius sipped his wine and Gaidres thought for a moment, staring down at the table before lifting his head. “When you said that if I’d shown no desire for you, you’d have found someone else. What would be the outcome if I were to refuse to bed you even though I do desire you?”
Caelius’s brows shot up. “Why would you? We both know the pleasure found is not only my own. Why would you deny yourself?”
Caelius did not understand. The man had never been in the position of having his will taken from him, and could not wrap his mind around the desire to exert one’s free will if only for the sake of doing so for the first time in too long.
“Do you think slaves just appear? That w
e are born in a vat of nothingness only to appear and serve you? I would deny you simply because I could. If I could.”
Caelius seemed to consider that. “The truth of the world is, Gaidres, that you are a slave. Whatever you were before, this is what you are now. No, I would not choose to have you unwilling. Should I send you back to your quarters and find another to use me when my need rises? I would rather not, but if that is your choice…”
Gaidres knew he might, indeed, choose to come back here if he truly did have a choice, but what did giving a choice matter to the other man? Pride? Ego? It must be nice to have such luxuries. Gaidres almost said yes, take him back to his cell and not call for him again. But the truth was, he could accomplish so much more by remaining close to Caelius. With Craxus he’d been forced to linger and wait and the years had ticked by before he’d gotten an opportunity. With Caelius…The man all but served himself up for sacrifice.
He shook his head. “No. I would stay. Perhaps to you the choice seems not worth considering, but to me choice is so rare that I cannot dismiss one.”
Caelius touched the back of Gaidres’s hand. “I would offer you another choice now.”
“What choice would that be, Dominus?”
“Would you prefer to use your true name in the arena or continue to go on as Argon?”
Gaidres’s brows furrowed, for a moment indecision warring within him, but then he shook his head. “Gratitude, Dominus, but I’ll keep Argon. I have…grown used to it.”
Caelius gave him a look that said he doubted that was the true reason, though he did not press. Instead, he signaled for the slaves to return and carry away the empty platter of food and they did so in silence.
“It does not bother you to have their eyes on you at all times?” Gaidres watched them go, leaving the guard at the doorway and the single slave in the corner, waiting for a command.
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