by J. F. Krause
The boys and I gathered some things for themselves and we went back to the oval office. I made a couple of make shift beds for them and I slept on the sofa against the wall. Not a bad arrangement considering. Just before we laid down to sleep, I told them I’d asked to be their guardian. They smiled…big smiles. And then we all cried. Again.
Friday
I hardly remember closing my eyes and then I’m being pulled back to consciousness by Charlie’s sobs. Charlie was huddled up with Jerry trying to be quiet so as not to wake me. Charlie had awakened in tears and Jerry was trying to help him keep it together.
“Come here guys. You don’t need to try not to cry so I can sleep a little longer. Just go ahead and let it all out. We may need to cry for quite awhile.” We all cried for a while after that. Nothing like crying yourself to sleep and them crying some more to start the day. “Are you ready to go out to breakfast? Do you want to eat with the kids or just the three of us?”
“Let’s just the three of us eat breakfast.” Jerry was their spokesman again. Charlie nodded his agreement, so we had a great breakfast to get ourselves started.
I nodded at Ms. M as we took a place at a card table set up in the eating area. She and a few of the children who were with their guardians sat at the long table used by the kids. There were also several kids scattered among the adults who were still eating at the library building proper. We were less crowded than the day before now that many of the adults were taking their meals at the senior center.
As we were finishing our meal, Kevin, Chad, and Geraldine came over. They had just finished eating a few tables over. Geraldine was a mess and I didn’t envy Kevin’s job looking after her. Just then, one of Ms. M’s assistants came over with a warm wet rag and a towel to start the process of cleaning little Geraldine up. Kevin smiled in relief and thanked her before asking if he and Chad could join us.
“Of course. I hear you and Chad are going for a siren run today.” I could l see that Chad was pleased with his planned outing.
“Yep. We might as well get started being a team. This may be the last day of calm until we get things set up at our retreat. Since Ms. M is starting the school once we get settled in SLO or wherever, I feel like I can work and have a family too. Geraldine’s a pill sometimes, but Chad’s been a big help with her. You boys too.” All three of them seemed to grow a size with pride at Kevin’s acknowledgement.
“I also heard what you three are going to be doing today. Chad and I are going to do that, too. I suspect most, maybe all of the guardians are doing the same thing. I think it’s a good idea.” Kevin was being diplomatic, but I think the boys knew what he was talking about.
“Yeah. I think it’s part of the moving on process. Ms. M tell you about it?”
“Um hum. She told some of us what you are doing and people just decided it was a good idea for them as well as the kids. Quite a lot of people will be burying their loved ones today. We’re also getting the motor homes ready. A lot of people already have motor homes. Not all of us are that busy so they’re making sure the motor homes are ready to go. Are we still on for the meeting today at 12 noon?”
“Yes. We need to finalize our destination. Did Marco’s scouting group get off today?” I asked.
“Marco left last night right after our meeting in your office. He left Enrique in charge of security today, and I think he’s planning to be back well before dinner. He said they found a good route out of the metro area. Without traffic and traffic lights to worry about, they made decent time. The SLO group is very helpful. They’ve already found a good location for us to set up camp to get started. They suggested we relocate to the fairground. There’s water there, even public toilets and showers, so we will be off to a good start”. Kevin had just had a good conversation with Marco that morning by phone, and had a pretty full report from SLO. Fortunately, I’m not a control freak. I’m always glad when someone takes ownership of a project and goes ahead and gets it done. Marco and Kevin are both gifts to our group.
I had a sociology professor who told us something like “Leaders can’t be commanded to appear when they are needed. They are compelled to appear.” That’s what seems to have started to happen with us. Once someone takes ownership of a problem we’re confronting, they do what is needed to get the problem solved or at least make it more manageable.
I let it be known that we should all be finished with our personal tasks by noon and then there would be an open meeting of the crew chiefs. I thought we could hold it in the library theatre again, but Lydia and Jane told me we would probably have to have it at the church a couple of blocks down Capital Blvd. Sadly, apparently no one from the church was part of our group.
Jerry and Charley asked if we could bring Nelda with us when we went to get a shower and some of our things from our homes. She would also be with us when we had the funerals for Charlie and Jerry’s parents. Nelda was their pick as well as mine from among the dogs. Each of the others had been adopted, but just like the children’s day care we had set up, we had a pet care center as well. At the moment that made sense since all of us were basically camping out at the library or at the senior center now. There were, however, a handful of commuters. They weren’t ready to say goodbye to their old homes and surrounding just yet. A couple of them were signed up to maintain the searchlights for a while yet, but in the end, I figured most of them would come to SLO with the rest of us. As far as I could tell, no other place was getting the same traction as SLO as a retreat for our group.
We left just after 8 AM, again with Enrique. The boys lived only about a mile from my condo in one of the large houses on the hill overlooking the city. Their backyard had a view that went all the way to Catalina. I’d finally pieced it together that their parents were part owners of one of the area’s largest real estate firms. You could see their real estate signs all over the place. Every month or so one of their flyers would arrive with a list of newly sold houses or with houses for sale. All this time, they were successfully running their company and raising two really great boys. But now it was a totally different world and for all practical purposes, all the real estate in the country was free.
The front door had a keypad so Jerry punched in the code and opened the door. The smell outside was getting bad everywhere, but this was the first time I had been into a building that had been shut up with decomposing bodies. The stench was worse than anything I had ever smelled and I wondered how we would be able to do this. The boys looked like they were about to spin off into hysteria, so I quickly sent them outside with Nelda who was whining like crazy. I told them to show Enrique where they wanted their parents to be buried in the backyard so we could start digging their graves. While the three of them did that, I went inside and somehow disengaged my brain from my olfactory senses. Once, during college, the touring choir I was in sang at a Norwegian Lutheran Church at Christmas. Afterward, we were the guests for a Christmas feast held annually by the church. Church members took great pleasure in serving all of us lutefisk. I just disengaged my mouth from my brain and soldiered through it. Evidently, I was the only one from our choir that managed to get it all down, and I was quite the celebrity for a few minutes. I didn’t ask for seconds.
Jerry and Charlie’s parents were both in the family room, not far from each other. In addition to the usual pool of grim bodily fluids and waste, the bodies were bloated and oozing liquids of various colors. My quandary was how to get them outside without getting myself covered in gore. I was already looking forward to a very hot shower, so, telling myself the sooner started, the sooner finished, I decided to deal with their mother first. According to their real estate flyers her name was Jennifer Hardesty. Her husband was Tyler Hardesty. That meant the boys were Jerry and Charlie Hardesty. I hadn’t known; I hadn’t asked.
I found some cooking mitts, towels, and several sheets. I put them near the bodies that were both on the floor partly on a large Persian area rug and partly on the wooden floor that covered the whole first floor. Before I j
ust rolled them up in the sheets I decided to talk to the boys and tell them what I was doing and make sure they were on board with everything we were doing.
When I stepped through the patio doors at the back of the house, I saw that Enrique with a little help from Jerry and Charlie had made a good start to a single, double-wide burial hole. It was in the middle of the lawn and would overlook the view to the ocean a few miles away. They stopped as they heard the doors open and looked over to me. I could see they had both been crying. This was turning out to be so much harder than I had expected.
“Boys, before I begin, I wanted to let you know what I’m doing and what I’m planning to do. Are you ok so far?”
They looked at each other and nodded to me.
“Ok then. I’m going to wrap your mom and dad in sheets so we can put them in the grave you’re digging. You won’t be able to see them before they are buried. Is that alright? You can come look at them first, but they won’t look the same. People don’t look very good after they’ve been dead for a few days. What do you want to do?” I felt bad about asking them if they wanted to see their parents in that condition right then, but I would feel bad if I made the decision for them.
After looking at each other for a few seconds, Jerry finally spoke. “What do you think we should do, Mr. Caldwell?”
“Jerry, I don’t know what to tell you to do. I don’t want you to be hurt anymore than you’ve already been hurt. You saw them die, didn’t you?” They both nodded.
“Do you understand that they are never coming back?” They both nodded again.
“If it were me and my mom, and I knew she were dead I wouldn’t want to see her like this, but I’d still come and look. I’d still remember her the way she was when she was alive. And I would like to be there when she was laid in her grave so I could tell her I loved her. I didn’t have a dad, and I don’t know much about him.”
Then they made their decision.
“I want to see them first, but only from the door and just for a second. I know they look bad, but I want to see them.” Jerry must have known what Charlie wanted too, since his head nodded as Jerry said it.
“Ok. Are you ready?”
They nodded again, and all four of us approached the patio door. I stepped in and stopped at the spot where they could be farthest away but still see their parent’s faces. The smell was horrendous.
A moment later, both boys were beside me and just as quickly, they left my side and went back outside to the gravesite. Enrique and I followed them. They hugged each other and then they hugged Enrique and me. A moment later, they turned back to their digging.
It didn’t take me long to get them wrapped up in the sheets so I went outside and helped a bit with the digging. Before long we were ready so Jerry helped me drag his mother’s body to the grave and Charlie helped Enrique drag his father. We stood there because the next step was to put them into the grave, but lowering them into it was not really an option. Enrique and I got on either end of Jennifer, and, on our knees, we lowered her as far as possible and she dropped the rest of the way. It wasn’t too horrible so we did much the same with Tyler. Then we all stood over the open grave and bowed our heads.
Something needed to be said that would give the boys as much closure as possible. It was Enrique who spoke first to my profound relief.
“Our parents are our greatest blessing and gift from God. We know we will lose them one day, and we hope it will be when we are very old ourselves. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to them before we want to, but we shouldn’t think about losing them before we wanted to. We should think about how lucky we are to have had their love for as long as we did. I loved my mom and dad and I’ll miss them the rest of my life, but I’ll always remember that they wanted me to be the best man I could be, and I’ll honor them by doing my best to be that man. The best way to show my love to my parents is to be the man they raised me to be. I love you Mom. I love you Dad.” He was looking up, but his eyes were closed.
Now it was Jerry’s turn. “I love you Mom and Dad. I wish you didn’t die, but I want you to know that I’ll be a good boy. I miss you, but you don’t have to worry about Charlie and me. We’ll take care of each other, and Mr. Caldwell will take care of us, and we’ll be good like you taught us. Good bye.” He was speaking with tears rolling down his eyes.
Charlie took Jerry’s hand and spoke next. “I love you, too. I didn’t want you to die, and I miss you so much, but I’ll be a good boy and do everything you taught me to do. I’ll be good for Mr. Caldwell, too. I’m sorry you died…..Good bye.
After listening to Enrique and the boys I realized that this was my funeral service for my own mother, too. “Mom, you always loved me, and you only wanted the best for me. I love you, and I’ll miss you. I don’t know if you’re alive or dead, but I still want you to know that no matter what, I know I was very loved, and I’ll always have you and your love in my heart. Good bye, Mom.”
It didn’t take us long to cover them up and then we braved the smell and found some favorite toys, a couple of outfits, sneakers, baseballs, gloves, caps, and some pictures for each of the boys. We were gone by 10:45 AM.
At my condo the first thing I did was take a shower. Since my condo has two showers, we decided that Jerry would use the other one and that Charlie would use mine after I was finished. Enrique was going to shower in the other shower after I was dressed so there would be an adult ready to do something if necessary. I hadn’t had more than a face cloth bath since Tuesday morning when everything started. Because I thought we might need a bit of time to bury the boys parents, I didn’t want to take too long so we could make sure we got back to the group in time for the 12 PM meeting. As I stepped out, Charlie was standing in my bedroom with a towel around his middle. He was next. He had his fresh clothes laid out on my bed, ready to put on.
After dressing I called to Enrique to get started. Charlie came out, wrapped once again in the towel, and I left to check on Jerry who was just putting on his sneakers. As soon as Charlie came out, I set about packing up a few clothes and my own favorite shoes. I also wanted to pack some of my mementos, my diplomas, my teaching certificates, some pictures. That was mostly it.
Enrique was out of the shower before we knew it and we were off to the church for the meeting. We made it with ten minutes to spare.
Someone had already gotten the church speaker system ready for my use. As I walked to the front of the church, I noticed for the first time just how many of us there were since almost everyone had decided to attend. I surmised there wasn’t anything else to occupy their time, and this was the best show in town. What I had thought would be a simple meeting of crew chiefs was now another community meeting. I had just enough time for Jane to give me a list of names for people who would be giving a report.
“Well, since I wasn’t really thinking we would have a meeting of everyone, I didn’t prepare an agenda so I hope you’ll excuse me this time. I’ll learn do better. Where is Jane?” Of course Jane was on the first pew with her steno pad on a lap desk. “This meeting is called to order. Since it’s an open meeting of a smaller group of members, there will not be a vote to accept or reject the report unless the report comes with a recommendation, and then you will all be asked to vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If the vote is close we will stand to vote. If the vote is close enough that the people missing because they are doing a job might influence the outcome, then we will postpone the vote for at least 24 hours. Are there any objections so far? Ok, then, Jane, do you know who is out on a work group and can’t be here?”
“Marco’s group has four, and there are five ice cream trucks out with fifteen more. We also have six people on guard duty, two with the pets, and three on intake back at the library. That’s thirty that I know of.” Jane sat down after she gave her information and I noticed Julie and Kyle were sitting next to her. Our runners weren’t as busy now that we all had two way radios.
Anyone here know of anyone else we need to include?
E
d stood and mentioned two searchlight groups, one in Riverside and the other in Eastvale, that were staying at a couple of survivor’s homes. That was another eight.
“That means that any vote that is as close as thirty-eight will be re-voted tomorrow. Another thing, any young person with a job, such as Julie and Kyle here in front of me will have their vote counted if no one objects. Seeing no objection, we’ll do it that way as long as I am running the meetings.
One final thing, and I’m sorry about all the rules but I think we can get things done faster if we have a few. After someone has finished talking they will answer your questions, but not while they are talking. Please, no interruptions. If they make a recommendation, we’ll vote as soon as the questions are finished. Is there an objection to what I just said? Seeing none, we can begin.
Except for this one final bit of information I need to share with you: clearly, no one is going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. You can survive on what you find right around your house for quite a long time. If we vote to do something you don’t want to do, you can always leave or do what you want. We are here because we want to be together and to help each other.”
I didn’t seem to have offended anyone so I started the reports.
“Jane, can you tell us how many of us there are here and in the nearby groups?”
“We are now up to 296 here in Orange County. Lately we are getting more people from Riverside County than Orange County. Of our 296, we now have 47 children below the age of twelve. Everyone twelve or older has been given a job, but they don’t get to carry a weapon until they are at least seventeen. We picked that age because we have a marine who is only seventeen. If the military takes seventeen year-olds so can we.” Somehow when Jane said it, it seemed right. I doubt I could have explained it nearly so well.
“There are twenty-one groups we have identified in California. There were a lot more smaller groups that have joined others and there will be more joining as time goes on. Right now we have twelve other groups that have asked to join us at our retreat destination. Their numbers are 1,296 as of two hours ago. Almost 200 are children. The sizes of the groups range from 34 to 404. Between all the groups we now have, including retired, former, and active professionals, survivors include representatives from almost every profession you can think of. What we don’t have, that we know of, is current elected officials, aside from a single school board member.”
