by Fiona Lowe
He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes suddenly twinkling against his dark five o’clock shadow—the incredibly sexy pirate look. ‘We’re both pretty pathetic, then, aren’t we? It’s Friday night and we’re standing in a hospital with empty houses to go to. How about we grab some dinner together? That gives us three hours before I have to pick Sasha up at ten.’
‘Sounds like a plan.’ Since their conversation at her place they’d settled into a comfortable friendship. Well, comfortable on his side. He treated her like a mate and they talked about all sorts of things. But she still had this crazy super-awareness of him, which had her spinning in circles. His casual touches when he opened doors or moved past her made her dizzy with longing, and she ached with a growing need she’d never experienced before.
But nothing could come of it and she had to learn to control it. Friendship was all she wanted.
Liar.
She refused to listen to the traitorous voice in her head that grew louder daily and played havoc with her dreams at night. ‘So where shall we go?’
Baden pressed the ‘down’ button on the lift. ‘The Royal Hotel is the closest and Jen raved about the beef she had there the other night.’
The Kennedy hotel. Fear clawed her. Bile burned her throat and her heart pounded so fast she thought it would bound out of her chest. ‘I can’t go to the Royal.’
He spoke quietly. ‘Can’t or won’t? There’s a difference.’
She struggled to think against her rising panic. ‘You know why I can’t go there.’ His betrayal fizzed in her veins. ‘I can’t believe you would even suggest it.’
The light above the lift lit up and the ‘ping’ sounded as the doors opened. Wrapping her arms tightly around her, Kate stepped into the empty silver box. Anger started to overtake the panic as she punched the ground-floor button.
Baden followed. ‘Kate, you live in this town and you have the right to dine where you choose. It’s the best restaurant in Warragurra. It just won three hats for country cuisine and I want to take you there so you can enjoy the food.’
She shook her head in disbelief. ‘You don’t get it, do you? Shane’s family owns part of that hotel.’
He stood tall and implacable. ‘You can’t hide out for the rest of your life, Kate.’
‘But if I go there it’s as if I’m thumbing my nose at Shane’s family’s pain.’ The lift opened and she stormed out, walking as fast as she could without running.
‘Kate.’
She heard his plea for her to slow down but she kept walking.
His hand caught hers and he gently steered her into an interview room and closed the door. ‘Let’s talk about this.’
Furious with him, she shook his hand away. Immediately the fury turned back against her as the loss of contact throbbed through her like a dull ache. She hadn’t wanted to let go. She’d wanted to grip on to his hand tightly, using it like a life raft in a stormy sea.
Baden raked his hand through his hair. ‘Don’t you think it’s time to stop taking the blame for something that wasn’t your fault? You’re letting Shane’s parents’ grief control your life. Hiding out won’t solve the problem.’
‘I’m not hiding out.’ How dare he accuse her of that? ‘I’m here, back in town, running Guides and—’
‘Avoiding this part of town.’ He stepped in closer.
His heat washed over her, diluting her anger. ‘I don’t want to push this. Shane’s parents need time.’
‘They’ve had over a year already. You’re a lovely person, Kate. Anyone who truly knows you will realise that it’s grief that’s making the Kennedys act so irrationally.’
‘Yes, but—’
‘No buts. You need to be seen in town. We have this big fundraiser for the ovarian cancer predictive test research coming up. You’ve put in hours getting the hospital on board, the flyers printed, you’ve liaised with the school and you’ve brokered a deal with the movie-hire company. I haven’t even mentioned the diplomatic juggling act of getting five social service groups to work together with the Guides for the fete and food stall side of the night. It’s bigger than big.’
Warmth filled her at his praise.
He continued, his face serious. ‘The Kennedys and their rich and influential friends need to know what you’re doing. They need to know that most of the people in this town respect you enough to back this project. Having them on board will only help ovarian cancer research.’
‘So you just want me to do this for fundraising purposes, irrespective of my feelings?’ Anger and dread swirled together in the pit of her stomach, forcing nausea to rise. She couldn’t believe he was so blinkered that he would put his own feelings ahead of hers.
He shook his head, his eyes dark with thought. ‘No, I want to do this for you. If you walk into the pub with me tonight, we’re a united front. We’re showing people that time has moved on.’
I want to do this for you. His thoughtfulness scared her almost as much as walking into the Royal. No one had done anything like this for her. Sure, she’d had lots of support from people out of town but no one in town had offered such solidarity.
He kept talking, ignoring her silence. ‘I’ve already spoken to the manager and he’s happily put up a poster for the drive-in and has flyers on the bar tables. You’d be welcome. You can do this. I know it’s a big step but it’s a step you have to take.’
A thousand thoughts zipped through her mind, colliding and jumbling as she tried to think past her panic. She hated it that he was right.
Baden’s arm touched hers. She looked into the clearest of clear blue eyes. Eyes that held understanding and determination. ‘If you won’t do it for yourself then do if for Brenda and other women like her.’
Like Sasha’s mother.
Sasha had lost her mother. Baden had lost his wife to this silent killer. All she had to do was face down a crowd, and perhaps not even that. She breathed in deeply and bit her lip. ‘You’ll be there all the time?’
He smiled, his face creasing in familiar lines. ‘Right beside you.’
Tendrils of longing winged through her, flattening her fear. With Baden next to her she could do this. ‘If Brenda can face down cancer and chemo and still crack jokes then I guess I can face down the Kennedys.’
‘Fantastic. Let’s go.’ He reached for her hand.
She spun out of his reach. ‘I’ll dine at the Royal on two conditions.’
He raised his dark brows in silent question.
‘I’m having the seafood platter and you’re paying.’
He laughed, the sound so deep it vibrated in her chest.
‘What, no dessert?’
She grinned. ‘Oh, good idea. I hear their lemon pie is a must.’
He stepped in close, his hands lightly touching her shoulders and slowly trailing down her arms until his hands held hers.
Her mind blanked at his touch.
For a moment she thought she saw desire sparkling in his eyes like sunlight on water, but when she looked again she could only see humour.
He spoke softly, his voice husky with laughter. ‘You drive a hard bargain, Kate Lawson. Have you been taking lessons from Sasha?’
‘Us girls have to stick together, you know.’ Girly giggles bubbled up on a trail of sheer lightness and joy. It took her a moment to recognise the sensation. Happiness. It had been a long time since she’d felt like this…if she’d ever really felt like this.
‘Come on, then, before I change my mind or you add French champagne into the mix.’
‘That would be an idea if I drank, but I’ll happily have French mineral water.’
He pulled her toward the door and out onto the street, their laughter filling the early evening air.
‘Race you.’ He dropped her hand and started jogging down the street, quickly turning a corner with a wicked wave.
‘Hey!’ Surprise stalled her for a moment before she began to run, giving thanks she was still in her flat work shoes. She caught him up at the steps of t
he Royal.
He was leaning casually against the highly polished brass banister, his face devastatingly handsome. ‘What kept you?’
She panted indignantly and slugged him playfully on the arm. ‘That was cheating. I’m sure I deserved a handicap start.’
He caught her elbow and steered her up the stairs, his head close to hers. ‘You’re here now, though.’ The soft words caressed her hair, her ear and all the way down to her toes.
Realisation slammed through her. He’d used the race to distract her so she wouldn’t start to stress on the short walk. She bit her lip. His brand of friendship was everything anyone could want. Except you want more.
She tossed the treacherous thought away.
His arm touched the small of her back as he ushered her through the door. As he joined her at the maître d’s lectern, his arm circled her waist, the pressure reassuring.
Her heart pounded as she glanced into the dining room but all she could see was a sea of heads.
‘Just walk. I’m right here.’ Baden gently pushed her forward as the maître d’ led the way to their table.
She stared straight ahead, her sight blurred and her mouth dry. Why had she let him talk her into this? Was she such a fool for sky-blue eyes that she’d agree to anything?
In a flurry of scraping chairs and white napkins, Kate found herself sitting opposite Baden, staring hard at the menu.
‘I thought you knew what you were having. You can look up, you know.’
His cheeky tone made her lower the tall menu. ‘It’s all right for you, you’re not about to be lynched.’
A serious look streaked through his eyes. ‘Neither are you.’
She glanced around. She recognised a few faces. Some tilted their heads to acknowledge her. She forced a returning smile.
Baden ordered and the waiter returned with mineral water, nutcrackers for the lobster legs and hot bread rolls. Kate used every ounce of willpower not to down the glass of water in one go. Instead, she mangled a bread roll.
‘Dr Tremont, Katie.’
She looked up to see Richie Santini standing next to their table, holding a glass of mineral water.
Baden rose to his feet and shook Richie’s extended hand.
She swallowed hard and tried to sound relaxed. ‘Hello, Richie. You’re looking better than when I saw you last.’
‘That wouldn’t be hard, would it?’ The man grimaced. ‘I saw you come in and I just wanted to say…’
Kate flinched, waiting for the expected words of hatred to follow.
Richie cleared his throat. ‘I just wanted to say thanks. They told me at the hospital that without the two of you doing CPR, I wouldn’t be here.’
Incredulity stole her breath.
‘We’re just glad we were there, aren’t we, Kate?’ Baden’s voice filled the gap as he tilted his head encouragingly, his gaze saying It’s your turn to speak.
She nodded, desperately trying to find her voice against a tight throat filled with emotion. ‘It’s good to see you, Richie.’ She clinked her glass of water against his, acknowledging the fact he wasn’t drinking alcohol.
‘Yeah. I’m off the grog. Josh is trying it, too. He’s gone to Adelaide for a bit to a clinic there. The Kennedys are paying him sick leave and the cost of the rehab.’ He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. ‘Turns out you were right after all, Katie. We’ve been drinking too much for years.’
A rush of thankfulness filled her. At least two of Shane’s friends had a second chance. ‘It’s not about being right, Richie. I’m just glad both of you are getting some help.’
He nodded, his expression resigned. ‘I’ll see you at that drive-in night, then. Enjoy your meal.’ He walked away to his table.
‘I can’t believe that just happened. And Josh…’ She shook her head, bewildered by the thought that Josh was in rehab and that Shane’s parents were funding it.
Baden’s lips curved into a self-satisfied smile. ‘I told you that coming here wouldn’t be a bad experience.’ He raised his glass. ‘To your future in Warragurra.’
My future. She should be thrilled that the town was thawing, and on one level she was. On another level she peered into the future and saw only herself. It looked lonelier than it had a few weeks ago.
As she raised her glass to his, the seafood platter arrived at the table. Laden with crayfish, prawns, oysters and Moreton Bay bugs, the table almost groaned under the weight.
The waiter proceeded to clip a bib around each of them. ‘Enjoy it. It’s absolutely fresh, flown in from the coast this morning.’
‘I feel like I’m at the dentist.’ Kate chuckled at the white paper bib.
‘I’m hoping dinner will be a more enjoyable experience.’ Baden smiled his devilish smile as he cracked open a crayfish leg. ‘It’s not an elegant meal, that’s for sure.’
They laughed their way through sensational food, sticky fingers, dribbles down chins and stray squirts of liquid as they cracked, peeled and shucked seafood. They covered a wide variety of topics and never once talked about work. Kate couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun.
As she washed her fingers in the lemon-scented water provided for the purpose, she caught sight of Hilary Smithton, bearing down on their table like a rhinoceros at full charge.
The wonderful food curdled in her stomach. She tried for the upper hand. ‘Hello, Hilary.’
The seething woman laid her hands palms down on the table, her eyes glittering with anger. ‘You’ve got a hide, coming in here, Kate. Shane made the biggest mistake of his life choosing you over me.’ Her voice cracked. ‘If he’d married me, he’d still be here.’
And suddenly the years of vitriol all fell into place. Hilary had loved Shane. She blinked rapidly against the futility of hatred. Instinctively she reached out to touch Hilary’s hand, to acknowledge that she, too, had lost something, someone.
Hilary pulled her hand away as if the touch had scalded her. ‘You might be duping everyone with your saintly fundraising act but I’m not falling for it.’
Baden leaned back casually in his chair, a pleasant smile on his face, but Kate caught an unusual steely glint in his sparkling eyes.
Hilary barely flicked him a glance, her concentration one hundred per cent on Kate. Her lips thinned. ‘I won’t be coming to your drive-in night and Lucy won’t be part of the night either.’
‘That’s your choice, Hilary, although sad for Lucy.’ Kate kept her voice even.
‘Good luck with that.’ Baden’s smooth, controlled voice chimed in, his tone sceptical. ‘I know I wouldn’t want to be the parent who had to break the news to their kid that they would be the only senior student at Warragurra Public School not involved in making fairy floss, cooking sausages or selling smoothies at the drive-in.’
Disconcerted, Hilary swung around to face him. ‘What are you on about? It’s just the Guides.’
Baden shook his head. ‘No, Hilary, it’s the town. The town has taken on this project. The hospital is backing it and the school is making it the social service activity of the term. Sure, the Guides are involved, but it’s much, much bigger than the Guides. It’s bigger than any single person with a personal beef. Every person in this town who has a mother or sister or daughter wants to see a screening test for ovarian cancer become a reality. They’re backing the research with their time, money and support.’
All colour faded from Hilary’s face before surging back, her cheeks turning bright red. ‘Don’t preach to me, Dr Tremont. I have the right to choose my own causes.’ She spun away from the table and walked out the door.
Baden’s words resonated in Kate’s head. Was this what it was like to be cared for? He had this knack of making her feel special…cherished. Your mind is running away from you. The fundraising is special to him, too. Of course it was.
He grinned at Kate, his eyes dancing with wickedness and his curls bouncing with laughter. ‘Well, you can’t have the whole town liking you, Kate.’
‘No, that wouldn’t seem right, would it? Hilary will keep me very grounded.’ She ran her fingers around the edge of the linen napkin. ‘I feel sorry for her, though. She lost Shane twice. Once to me and once to death.’
‘But you lost him twice, too. Once to alcohol and once to death.’ His quiet voice seemed to caress her.
‘I guess I did. It sounds an awful thing to say but I think her loss is greater than mine. Shane is my past and now I’m only looking forward. I’ve moved on.’
‘Have you?’ His serious gaze penetrated deeply, as if exposing all her feelings.
‘I have.’ She caught a shudder of tension ripple through him. ‘And what about you?’ The words left her mouth on a jet of need before her brain had the sense to cut them off.
His jaw stiffened and his eyes darkened to unreadable before his gaze slid to his watch.
A chill raced through her. Why had she asked? Had she thought if she asked the question it would give her a different answer from the one she knew dwelt in his heart? His situation was so very different from hers. He’d lost a wife he’d loved, lost a happy marriage, a companion, a mother to his child. Of course he hadn’t moved on.
She drew on every ounce of acting ability she had, looked at her own watch and jumped to her feet. ‘Thanks for a lovely meal, but look at the time. You’d better not be late for Sasha.’
He immediately stood, his expression a jumble of feelings she found impossible to decode. ‘Sorry. I do need to go. But it’s been great.’
His bonhomie flew to her heart like a poisoned arrow. Until this moment she’d never realised that friendship could be so painful.
Baden stood on Phoebe Walton’s veranda at nine-fifty p.m.
He’d hardly noticed the twenty-minute drive out to the farm—his mind had been full of Kate. He could have sat opposite her for hours, just watching the way her smile danced along her cheekbones, how her hair fell so silkily, framing her heart-shaped face, and how her long, thick eyelashes brushed her skin.
But it was the image of her lush lips that stayed with him. Vivid memories of their touch and taste hovered so very close to the surface of every hour of every day that it terrified him.
