by Fiona Lowe
The only reason Sasha and Baden were swimming in her pool was because they’d spent the morning making sausage rolls in her kitchen for the drive-in night. And the only reason that Baden had come was because of the purpose of the night. He was committed to the ovarian cancer fundraiser. He didn’t want anyone to lose a loved one like he had.
Lose a wife.
Baden might have made love to her three nights ago but he was still in love with his wife. So much so that he was still trying to live his life as if she were still alive.
She didn’t think it was healthy for him or Sasha but, then again, what did she know? Her marriage had been a disaster and his, she suspected, had been wonderful, so it was like comparing apples to oranges. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose someone who completed you.
Baden completes you.
The random thought thundered through her. Immediately, every part of her tried to eject it from her brain. No, it wasn’t possible—she wouldn’t allow that kind of thinking.
Sasha and Baden both surfaced from their underwater chase, spluttering and still trying to dunk each other when they saw Kate holding the ball.
They pulled themselves out of the pool and sat next to her, flanking her, catching their breath. Cosy warmth spread through her as Sasha’s arm wrapped around her waist and she cuddled in close.
‘Lost something?’ Kate smirked as she stroked the ball, the thrill of oneupmanship streaking through her. ‘You two are hopeless. You’re so busy trying to outdo each other that you took your eye off the main game.’
Sasha giggled. ‘You sound like a mum, Kate. My mum used to say Dad and I were too competitive.’
Kate surreptitiously glanced at Baden, expecting the usual tension to enter him like it always did whenever Annie was mentioned. But his demeanour didn’t change at all.
He gave a deep, rumbling laugh. ‘I can still beat you, Sash.’
‘Wanna bet?’ Sasha flicked water at him with her feet.
Kate spun the ball on her index finger, taunting them both. ‘I’m thinking that as neither of you actually have the ball then I win.’
Baden and Sasha instantly exchanged knowing looks and suddenly their arms circled Kate. For a moment she was cocooned and a flash of what it might be like to be part of their lives spooled through her mind. Loved by a man who was defined by his caring. Mother to a girl with great spirit and determination. Part of a loving team—part of a family.
Then the arms tightened around her and she felt herself moving. ‘Hey!’ But her cry was lost as she was pushed into the water by four hands and then tickled mercilessly. She kicked to the surface. ‘You two fight dirty.’
‘Yeah.’ Baden grinned and pulled her close, his arms and legs immobilising her against him. ‘Sash, I’ve got her, you get the ball.’
Sasha ducked under and tickled Kate under the arms.
Kate released the ball in self-protection as her chest muscles ached with laughter. ‘Not fair—two against one.’
‘Got it, Dad.’ Sasha swam toward the goal.
Kate expected Baden to swim after Sasha, but he unexpectedly stayed put.
She looked up into eyes full of fun that suddenly darkened with longing. His arms pinned her against his length, nothing between them but thin Lycra.
Her blood pounded in her ears as it raced his heat through her, waking every part of her. Reminding her of the night they’d spent together and refuelling the need that simmered permanently under the surface into boiling yearning.
Water dripped from his flattened curls onto her face, the droplets making a slow and erotic trail down her cheek. With each breath his chest rose and fell against hers, his heart beating hard, matching her own.
For the shortest moment he looked over her head toward Sasha, who was concentrating hard on shooting a goal, then his gaze returned, searing her with need. He swooped his lips down against hers, hot, hard and urgent. He kissed her, seizing her breath, branding her with his touch and taste and tantalising her with a glimpse of what she knew he could offer.
Then he spun her out of his arms and swam like a man possessed toward Sasha. ‘Great goal, sweetie.’ He gave her a high five. ‘What a team.’
Panting for breath and completely stunned, Kate trod water as the world regained its axis, and all vivid colours faded. Ordinary life returned, looking pale and wan.
His naked need stayed with her. She recognised that need, she was intimate with it as it mirrored her own. She knew in the depth of her soul he wanted her in his arms. That one night had not been enough.
And she so wanted to be back in his arms, feeling cherished and treasured. Back in the arms of this wonderful man who’d quietly supported her as she’d faced the town. He’d pushed her to take a risk, but he’d been with her every step of the way. This brilliant, caring doctor, this considerate and adventurous lover, and this devoted father with a huge capacity to love.
She loved him.
She gripped the side of the pool as the muscles in her legs went weak with realisation and stopped treading water.
Oh, this wasn’t good. She rested her head on the curve of the bull-nose pavers. She’d fallen in love with a man locked in the past. A man whose love for his dead wife still coloured his decisions and governed how he raised his daughter. A man who kept himself and his daughter locked away from the love she had to offer.
For weeks she’d tried not to love him. He didn’t want to be loved and she knew only too well that love didn’t work for her. But despite everything she’d tried, love had sneaked in. She loved him and she loved his daughter.
Sasha.
Sasha is my top priority now. Baden’s determined voice resonated in her head. Sasha came first, which was how it should be. But what if she could show him that Sasha came first with her as well? Could that possibly open his eyes to the idea that he could love again? That he could love her? The thought embedded in her mind, sinking down deep with penetrating roots.
‘You’re cutting it really fine.’ Gwen Lloyd, the sister in charge of the Opal Ridge Bush Nursing Hospital, filled the burette on Hughie’s IV, diluting the penicillin infusion.
Baden checked his watch. ‘I’ll just make it as I’ve only got Dimity to assess and I can dictate the referrals at home.’
‘Sorry, me sugars have gone haywire, Doc. It’s this bloody cough.’ The old miner sat forward as his frail frame shuddered with a racking cough.
Today’s clinic had been frantic. The current virus had swept the small town and everyone had called into the clinic, hoping he could prescribe a magic cure. For most people all he could prescribe was TLC, bed rest and plenty of fluids. But the elderly had been hit harder and he had two suspected cases of pneumonia.
‘Cough that goop up, Hughie.’ Gwen put her hand on Hughie’s bony back and held a specimen jar under his mouth.
Baden had started Hughie on penicillin but he needed to drop the specimen of sputum off at Warragurra Base Pathology for an accurate culture. He put the small plastic container with its bright yellow lid into a cooler bag. ‘I’ll ring through the results. We might need to change the antibiotics.’
Gwen nodded. ‘I’ll call you if he doesn’t improve.’
Baden put his hand over Hughie’s work-scarred one. ‘Don’t you worry about me, Hughie. I’ve got enough time to get back to Warragurra. You only need to concentrate on getting well.’
The old man slumped back onto the pillows, his eyes bright with fever. ‘Don’t you think it’s time you got yourself another wife, lad, instead of all this rushing about? She could be looking after your little girl.’
Baden forced a smile to his face. All his elderly patients who lived alone thought he should have a wife. ‘It’s a different world, Hughie. Even if I did marry, which I’m not going to do, my wife would probably be working and I’d still have to collect Sasha.’
‘Humph.’ Hughie wasn’t impressed. ‘Well, all this gadding about, it’s not what a family is all about.’ He closed his eyes, ending the c
onversation.
Baden sighed. ‘Gwen will look after you, Hughie, and hopefully we won’t have to fly you to Warragurra. Remember to eat all the food so your blood sugar is stable.’
Thirty minutes later, he kept his eye on the speedometer as he sped down the bitumen road toward Warragurra. A speeding ticket was the last thing he needed on top of his frantic day. He wished he could drive and dictate at the same time. All the paperwork would have him up until midnight.
Paperwork Kate usually did for him if she was rostered on with him. But Kate never came with him to Opal Ridge. Today she’d stayed in Warragurra, running an in-service for the nurses. Gwen did a great job but she wasn’t Kate.
Kate.
Kate, who four nights ago had made love to him with a passion that had taken his breath away. Together, their lust for each other should have set the old hut on fire. Yet, when he thought about their stolen time, those few hours in the outback, it was the joy of holding her close, the wonder of her comforting heat snuggled against him and the banter and serious discussions late into the night that stayed uppermost in his mind.
But it had been a ‘once only’ night—they’d both been adamant about that. So why did his arms ache at not being able to hold her?
Today had seemed twice as long without her. He’d missed her friendly smile and her jokes and their conversation. They talked about all sorts of things and today he’d wanted to get her advice on the best way to broach the topic of periods with Sasha. Last night he’d tried, but Sasha had immediately changed the subject. He could just see her saying, ‘Ee-uuww,’ Dad,’ and escaping to her room when he tried again. Kate taught puberty education and probably had some natty pink sample pack he could give Sasha, as well as a few tips.
Sasha talked about her all the time and since Kate had taught her how to French braid her hair, she proudly wore it that way. Kate genuinely seemed to enjoy Sasha’s company.
He turned into School Road and slowed to the obligatory forty-kilometre school zone speed limit. Sasha, who was playing outside, gave him a wave and ran back inside to get her bag. Baden followed and signed the in-out book.
‘Thanks, Gloria, see you next week.’ Baden handed over an envelope with the week’s fees enclosed to the after-school care co-ordinator.
Gloria spoke, sotto voce. ‘I thought without Erin we were going to have problems, but Sasha’s the happiest and most settled she’s ever been.’
Baden nodded. ‘I think that Guides and swimming has helped.’
‘Hmm.’ The experienced teacher vacillated. ‘I think there’s more to it than that.’
Sasha reappeared from the bag cage. ‘Thanks, Mrs Davidson.’ She pulled on her backpack. ‘Are you coming to the drive-in on Saturday night?’
The matronly woman smiled. ‘I wouldn’t miss it for anything, dear.’ She suddenly had a far-away look in her eyes. ‘I remember going to the drive-in with my Stan and a big box of chocolates.’
‘Oh, we have heaps of great food, Mrs D. Kate, my Guide leader, well, actually she’s dad’s nurse but really she’s my friend, she has had us cooking loads of yummy stuff.’
Baden smiled at how kids needed to mention every connection they had to people. He would have just said ‘Kate.’
‘That’s wonderful, dear.’ She shot Baden a meaningful look.
He had no idea what it meant. Sasha was very excited about the fundraiser but so was the whole town. Kate had organised the Guides into a food-creating machine. He put his hand on his daughter’s shoulder. ‘Honey, we have to go.’
They waved goodbye and headed to the car. As Baden turned back onto the road he remembered the sputum container. ‘We just have to go to the hospital to drop something off.’
‘OK. Will Kate be there?’ Sasha selected a CD from the collection.
‘I don’t know. I didn’t see her today.’ He flicked down the sun visor against the glaring late afternoon sun.
She slid in the CD. ‘You like Kate, don’t you, Dad?’
He slowed down at a give-way sign and checked for oncoming traffic, his mind half on the conversation. ‘Of course I do. She’s a good friend to both of us.’
‘She must get lonely in that big house.’
He waited for the oncoming car to pass and then turned right into Settlement Street. ‘She’s got Rupert and Snowy.’
‘Yeah, but they don’t talk.’
He squinted through the sun glare, thinking he really should wash the windscreen from the inside. ‘Well, she’s thinking of selling Sandon anyway.’
Sasha spun so fast that her seat belt snapped tight. ‘No, she can’t do that!’ Her voice sounded horrified. ‘She invited Erin and me for a sleepover after the fundraiser and I’ve already chosen a room.’ Her voice started to rise. ‘And she said I could visit whenever I want to and ride Thumper and…’
He sighed at her reaction. If only Mrs Davidson could see Sasha now. ‘Calm down, sweetheart. I just said she might sell Sandon. It’s her home and her life and her decision. It’s nothing to do with us.’
‘But it’s such a cool house and she should stay. I love it there.’
An irrational irritation zinged through him. He and Sasha lived in a lovely house full of love. ‘There are more important things in life than a nice house, a swimming pool and horses. Besides, when we visit Kate we’re just guests at Sandon. It’s not like we’re part of her family.’
Sasha folded her arms across her chest. ‘I know that, Dad. But I still think that Kate is lonely. She needs someone.’
Am image of Kate in the arms of another man speared him so sharply he flinched but then her words on marriage pounded him. She had no plans for another relationship. ‘I think she’s happy with her life the way it is, Sasha.’
‘I don’t know, Dad.’ Sasha sounded unconvinced. ‘I think she needs someone.’ Her green eyes flashed with conviction. ‘Just like you need someone.’
His throat dried at the unsubtle matchmaking. Sasha was twelve, with no idea what relationships meant or how they would affect her. How another person in their life would take his focus away from her. ‘I don’t need anyone, honey. You and I are a team and I’m happy just the way things are.’
But the words sounded unexpectedly hollow to his ears.
Warragurra had been buzzing for days. Finally the drive-in night arrived and kids and adults alike bounced with excitement.
A huge semi-trailer with an enormous screen hanging from one side was parked in the paddock next to the school. The school grounds had been turned into a carnival with white-topped marquees selling everything from sausages in bread to deluxe hamburgers, fizzy drinks to fairy floss and the always popular lolly stall.
Music blared from the loudspeakers and kids charged around the grounds, waving their glow-in-the dark sticks. The pre-movie picnic was in full swing. Nothing this big had happened in Warragurra for a long time. The airport even had a parking problem as so many light planes from outlying stations had flown in for the event. People stood around in groups, enthusiastically chatting, the gathering having a second purpose—breaking the isolation of outback life on the land. Even Shane’s parents had come along.
Last week they’d written to Kate, wishing her well for a successful night and enclosing a large cheque as a donation. They might never be close friends but at least the rift seemed to have eased.
The Guides were helping out at a variety of stalls with their parents’ assistance. Kate had left it up to Sasha which stall she wanted to work on with Baden, but Sasha had been adamant she was working with Kate. Baden hadn’t said a word. He’d arrived with Sasha two hours ago, donned a barbecue apron that made him look like he was wearing a dinner suit and took his place at the hotplate with Phoebe Walton’s father, Richard. He looked as mouth-watering as the food he was cooking.
Whenever she turned his way he gave her a grin and a flourish with the tongs. Kate dragged her gaze away from him for the zillionth time. What she really wanted to do was throw her arms around his neck and trail kisses a
long his jaw, his neck, his chest…She pulled her attention back to assembling souvlaki, Malaysian satay and hamburgers with all the trimmings, including pineapple and beetroot.
Sasha stood next to her, beaming at the customers as she happily took their money. ‘Enjoy your dinner and remember to stock up at the lolly stall before the movie.’
Kate gave her a quick hug. ‘You’re a born salesperson, Sasha.’
The girl seemed to stand a bit taller. ‘This is just so totally awesome. I’ve never had so much fun.’
Kate’s heart swelled. ‘I’ve had a lot of fun working with you and getting to know you. It’s great that we’ve made friends and we’re helping to raise money for a really worthwhile cause.’
Her elfin face became serious for a moment. ‘I know Mum would be really pleased I’ve done this. She always said that helping others made you feel good about yourself.’
The more Kate learned about Annie Tremont the more she thought she would have liked her had she known her. ‘Your mum sounds like a clever woman.’
‘She was, but so are you, Kate. I couldn’t have done anything like this without your help. You’re not really moving, are you?’
The question surprised her. ‘I wasn’t planning on moving. Why?’
Sasha looked a bit embarrassed. ‘Oh, it was just something Dad said.’
The memory of the time she’d told Baden about Shane came flooding back. ‘I once said to your dad that I was thinking I might move but I don’t feel that way any more.’
Sasha unexpectedly flung her arms around her waist. ‘I’m so glad you’re not going. I’d really miss you if you left.’
The intensity of the heartfelt words stunned her and she treasured them, holding them close to her heart.
‘Kate, Sasha, we’re starving here.’ Des Cincotta stood at the front of the queue, a teal green turban on his head and a smile a mile wide as he held tightly to Brenda’s hand. Behind them stood a long line of people, all wearing the same teal green turbans.
‘Oh, those head scarfs are so funky.’ Sasha gazed at them with longing.
