by White, Pat
“You got something?”
“Possibly. He has connections with BAM, and Meek said drugs were distributed at Abe Lincoln. I want to rule him out.”
God, please let me rule him out.
“I’m on it,” Totem said.
“Thanks.” He ended the call and stared straight ahead at the sign in the store window. A twelve pack of beer was on sale for $7.99. He remembered the afternoon with Curt and Decker, drinking beer, yelling at the television, laughing at stupid guy jokes.
This was the part of the job he hated: having to pretend, to develop relationships and betray people he cared about. Which is why most of the time he prevented himself from caring at all.
Then Sandy walked into his life.
His cell phone rang. Hopeful, he looked at the caller ID thinking it might be her. Did she miss him already? Instead, a blocked number appeared.
“McBain,” he answered.
“This time we’re doing it my way,” Meek said. “We need movement on this case. If Curt Ryan is a suspect, we need to bring him in for questioning.”
“But—”
“That’s an order. Tomorrow. There’s a field office in Rolling Meadows. Pick him up and we’ll meet you there at ten a.m.”
The line went dead.
Jason didn’t know where to go, what to do. Tomorrow he’d bring Curt in for questioning and lose the woman he loved.
He dialed Sandy’s number. Her answering machine picked up. He figured it would.
“This is Sandy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back. Thanks.”
BEEP.
He struggled with what to say. Hell.
“Hey, sweetheart, it’s Jason. Listen, I wanted to tell you what a great time I had at the barbecue. I felt like a part of your family … haven’t felt that in a long time.” He fingered a crack in the steering wheel. “Anyway, I’m not sure what’s happening this week, but I wanted you to know,” he hesitated, “I’ve enjoyed our time together. I’ll miss you, babe. Bye.”
He ended the call and tossed the phone on the seat beside him. Damn, why didn’t he tell her he loved her?
Because it served no purpose, not when she’ll have to dump him tomorrow. Why make it harder on her by using the “L” word? This way she’ll recover easier and won’t question herself.
Like he will question himself for the rest of his life.
* * *
Sandy pulled into her mom’s driveway the next morning, bringing donuts and coffee. She wanted to tell her mother the truth: she’d fallen in love with a federal agent, a fragile soul who cherished her and made her feel whole and at peace. She didn’t want to lie anymore, especially to herself.
She rang the bell and Mama opened the door. “What are you doing here?” she said with pleasant surprise.
“I was in the neighborhood.”
Her mother gave her a hug, and Sandy held on for a second longer than usual. She was about to drop big news about her relationship with Jason, and her decision to change careers—news that would probably inspire Mom to plan another family party.
“Come in, Sweetie,” she said.
Sandy followed her into the kitchen and sat at the counter.
“So?” Mom said. “You didn’t really happen to just be in the neighborhood. What’s up?” She leaned against the counter and smiled.
“I think he’s the one,” Sandy blurted.
“He, you mean…”
“Jason.”
“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful!” Her mother motioned her to the kitchen table and they sat down. “Tell me everything.”
“First, you should know that his job is not what I said it was.”
“He’s a wrestler?” Mama choked.
“No—well, yes. He’s pretending to be a wrestler. It’s a long story, but when things are settled he won’t be wrestling anymore. He has another career. But I can’t tell you what it is, not yet. Trust me, Mama. He’s a good man.”
A man I can trust with all my heart. She hoped he felt the same way. Her tummy did a flip at the memory of his message last night:
I’ve enjoyed our time together. I’ll miss you, babe.
It almost sounded like a good-bye message, but she knew that couldn’t be.
“You deserve a good man,” Mama said. “I don’t like all this secrecy, but I’ll go along with it for a little while.”
“Thanks. And there’s other news.” Sandy smiled.
“What could be better than true love?”
“I’m going to pursue another career.”
“Hallelujah and praise the Lord!” Mama clapped her hands. “What brought this on?”
“I realized I’ve been with BAM for the wrong reasons. You know, wanting to please certain people.”
“Your father.”
She nodded affirmation. “Sorry.”
Her mother sighed. “Don’t be. It’s understandable. You’ve only felt accepted by him when you worked at BAM. I’ve always known that.”
“How did you get so wise?” She squeezed her mother’s hand.
“Old age has its advantages.” She winked.
“Now, give me details about your new boyfriend.” Her green eyes lit like Christmas lights.
“God damn it!” Duke shouted, wheeling into the kitchen clutching a smart phone in his hand. His cheeks were red and his eyes burned like hot coals. “Curt’s been arrested.”
“For what?” Sandy said. Crap, had her big brother been caught drinking and driving? No, he’d always set a good example for his high school kids. He wouldn’t dare do that.
“A federal agent took him into custody this morning.”
A federal agent? Oh, God.
“No, that’s not right,” Sandy blurted out.
“Damn straight isn’t,” Duke growled. “What the hell do they want with him, anyway?”
“Steroids,” Sandy said.
“What?” Duke stared at her. “You know about this?”
“I heard something,” she said. “Steroid trafficking to high school kids. Someone in BAM,” she mumbled.
“Bullshit. It’s not Curt.” Duke slapped his fist against the wall.
“Of course not, honey.” Mama patted his arm. “We’ll get an attorney and work this out.”
Sandy’s heart felt like it was being squeezed between two impossibly strong hands: Jason’s.
That’s why he left the message last night that he’d miss her. Sure he would. He knew she’d want nothing to do with him once she found out he used her up to the very end, up to arresting her brother.
“We’ve got to get a hold of a lawyer,” Duke said. “Dad’s gonna freak.”
Sandy felt like she was in a dream: floating, drifting and not quite hearing her mom and brother as they continued the discussion.
She was numb.
“Sandy?” her mom eyed her with concern.
“I’ll put a call into the BAM attorney.” She stood. “I have to go.”
“Wait, honey,” Mama said.
“I’ll talk to you later.” She kissed her mother on the cheek and raced out of the house to her car.
Used. Manipulated. Taken for one helluva ride.
Chump.
She got in her SUV and drove off, not heading home, not heading anywhere in particular.
Curt. Arrested. But he was innocent. She knew this to be true.
And she knew another truth: Jason had betrayed her.
Not because he’d arrested a suspect who happened to be her brother, but because he hadn’t shared his plans. She understood he had a job to do; that he had to nail the bastard that was peddling steroids, but why didn’t he tell her Curt was a suspect? Why wasn’t he honest with her?
Because he didn’t trust her—which meant none of it was real.
She called Lou the attorney and asked him to follow up with Curt’s legal situation. She hung up and her cell rang.
“Hello?” she said.
“You hear about Curt?” Pops asked. “What the hell’s going on?”
/> She didn’t answer, figuring it was a rhetorical question.
“I want you to contact Lou at BAM, then call Police Chief Norridge. He’s got connections. Then call FOX News, WGN and what’s her name over at CBS.”
He rambled for another minute. Sandy pulled up behind a truck with a sticker on it: What are you waiting for? With a phone number for exercise equipment.
The question stuck in her brain: What was she waiting for?
“No,” she said.
“And then call the high school association and then ... what?”
“I’m not calling Fox or WGN, or anyone else. I’ve already called the BAM attorney. Curt is a grown man and he’s innocent. It will all be fine.”
“But you need to fix this, you need to—”
“No, Dad, I really don’t. It’s time that people fix their own problems, okay? I’ve gotta go.” She clicked the End button.
She suddenly realized that she’d been trying desperately to keep everyone’s lives in order so they’d love her. She did things for people to earn their love, whereas in truth they should love her for who she was. Otherwise, they were all using her for their own reasons: Cody, Jason, even Pops. If they needed something, she’d give it. If she didn’t give it she feared they’d withhold love.
But she didn’t need their love. Not if she loved herself. She deserved to be loved by others, sure, but that was different.
No more saving the world! She’d help those who asked for it, those who helped themselves, but she wouldn’t jump into the middle of every mess she stumbled upon.
And she wasn’t meant to be with Jason. Not in any real sense of the word. For him it wasn’t about trust and honesty, it was about nailing the bad guy.
Who was not her brother.
Jason would surely figure that out and then, someday when she got her strength back, she’d give him the lecture of a lifetime, because it had been too long since she’d told anyone how she really felt. She’d tell him she could have forgiven him anything ... if only he’d been honest.
For once she was going to be honest with herself. It was time to reevaluate her career, the lack of balance in her life, and her dysfunctional choices in men.
It was time to take care of Sandy.
Chapter Nineteen
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jason said.
Curt glared at him like he wished him dead. J couldn’t blame the guy.
“You’re a son of a bitch,” Curt hissed.
J leafed through the file on the table, trying to act disinterested, unaffected. Who was he kidding?
“You used my sister to help you find a steroid dealer?” Curt accused.
“You know what that stuff does to kids,” Jason shot back.
“And adults. But hell, you didn’t have to use us all like that. You could have just asked for our help.”
“Not an option.”
“You drank beers with us, played squirt gun wars, all to get information?” Curt said, his voice cracking. “You slept with my sister!”
Jason grabbed him by the shirt collar, lifted him and slammed him against the wall. But no words came out of his mouth. What could he possibly say?
He swore under his breath and released the guy. “It’s my job to find out who’s dealing steroids to high school kids by any means possible.”
“And you think I’m the dealer? Come on, buddy, you know me better than that. Let me hear you say you think I’m dealing steroids to kids. Go on, say it.”
Jason clenched his jaw. He knew damn well this guy wasn’t his perp.
“That’s what I thought.” Curt sat down and eyed him. “I should beat the crap out of you for hurting my sister.”
Get in line, J thought. He deserved it.
“I’ve got a job to do,” he said instead. Meeks had forced this interrogation, but maybe some good could come of it. “Let’s say you’re not the perp. Who do you think has the most to gain from selling steroids to high school kids? Who’s that desperate for money?” He sat down, taking a long, deep breath to calm his blood pressure.
“Now you want my help? After you arrest me?”
“You’ve been brought in for questioning. You’re not under arrest.”
“Whatever.” Curt stood and paced to the other side of the room.
“The steroids are coming from BAM,” J said.
Curt stared him down. “How do you know that?”
“Because they’re distributed the same days as BAM hits certain cities, most recently at your high school. Who would do something like that? Which wrestlers?”
“The boys know how dangerous steroids are. They wouldn’t push them on kids.”
J opened a file. “You know a kid named Lucas Drake?”
“He’s on my wrestling team. Why?”
“He was caught selling steroid patches.”
“No friggin’ way!” Curt pounded his fist on the table. “He’s out, damn it, off the team!”
“Does he have any connection to BAM?”
“No.”
This was going nowhere.
The door to the interrogation room opened and Meek walked in with Lou, the attorney from BAM.
“This meeting is over, gentlemen,” Lou said. “Let’s go, Curt.”
Curt got up and walked toward the door.
“Help me.” The two words, never before uttered from Jason’s lips, slipped out.
All three men turned. Meek wore a pleased expression, as if he just witnessed Jason begging for his job. But J wasn’t asking for Meek’s help.
“You may go,” Meek said to Curt and Lou.
“No, wait a minute,” Curt said. “You’re talking to me, aren’t you?”
Jason nodded.
“Okay, excuse us,” Curt ordered the other two.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Lou said.
“It’s fine. Go on, both of you, get out of here.”
Lou shrugged and left. Meek stood there.
“What are you looking at, you pencil-necked geek?” Curt said.
The look on Meek’s face was priceless—offended, horrified, and shamed.
“Go on, give us some privacy.” Curt motioned Meek out of the room and faced off with Jason.
“You want my help?” Curt asked.
“Yes.”
“All you had to do was ask.”
* * *
“I wish you’d reconsider,” Flamboyant Floyd said.
Sandy shoved the remaining supplies into her bag and smiled over her shoulder at him. “Sorry, but it’s time to grow up and find a real job.”
“It’s because of him, isn’t it? The Stripper.”
“Not really.”
“Not really, but sort of?”
“I guess.”
She hadn’t seen Jason since the family barbeque. Curt had called her the day he’d been brought in for questioning, not arrested, and said it was a big mix-up, but that she still needed to keep Jason’s true identity a secret because he wasn’t done with BAM.
He was obviously done with her or he would have called.
She decided she’d been used and abused for the last time. At least that thought gave her comfort. She stood and flung her pack over her shoulder.
“We need you, kid.” Floyd gave her a hug.
“How could you?” Missy cried from the doorway.
“Hell, Missy, put a lid on it,” Floyd said. “Go comb your hair or something.”
Missy glared at him. “You love her, don’t you?”
“Of course,” he said, looking into Sandy’s eyes. “Like a sister.”
“And I’m supposed to believe that? After everything I’ve done for you!” Missy stormed off.
Floyd sighed. “Look, kid,” he started, then glanced at the floor and cleared his throat.
“I’ll miss you, too,” Sandy offered.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Jason said from the doorway.
She closed her eyes. Pain arced through her chest. She glanced up as he
strode into the locker room.
“I need an Ace bandage. Go on,” J motioned with his hand, “don’t let me interrupt your precious moment.”
And that was it: their first and last interaction since their special time together. There was no, “I missed you, I love you, can we talk this through?”
Selfish bastard.
His choice. She couldn’t fix him, either.
She shot Floyd one last smile and headed for the door. She hesitated and turned. “Jason?”
He glanced at her with cold, dark eyes.
“I feel sorry for you,” she said. “Not because you’re a bad stripper and a mediocre wrestler, but because you threw away the best thing that ever happened to you. Your loss, big guy, a really big one.”
She turned and rushed out of the locker room, a part of her heart breaking while another part swelled with pride.
Jason tossed his bag on the floor and started after Sandy. They had to talk.
Floyd blocked him. “I don’t think so.”
“This isn’t your fight,” J said.
“You’re wrong. She’s leaving BAM. Did you know that?”
Damn, had Jason hurt her so badly that she’d given up her career as a healer, and was abandoning her extended family?
Floyd shoved him against the wall.
“Hey, wasn’t that Sandy?” Atomic Bomb asked, coming into the room. “Why’s she carrying a box?”
“Because she quit,” Floyd said.
“No way.”
“Yes way, and here’s the guy who’s responsible.” Floyd took a step back and glared at Jason.
“She’s the best damn massager we got,” Atomic Bomb said.
“And now she’s gone,” Jason agreed, egging them on. “I screwed her and broke her heart.”
“You son of a bitch,” Atomic Bomb said.
“What did you call me?” Jason stepped forward, but the Bomb caught hold of him and shoved him into the metal lockers, headfirst. J went down.
“Hey, what the hell’s with Sandy?” Dude Law said, coming into the room.
“She quit because of this jerk,” the Bomb said.
Good, this should get them all worked up. J needed a little physical contact to purge the self-disgust from his soul. Maybe they could beat it out of him.
