by Madison, Mia
Suddenly, the desire to see him overwhelmed me. So what if this wasn’t the venue I’d have chosen. Soon, he’d be here, I’d introduce him to my mom and my aunt, and then I’d invite him to dinner. And maybe we’d spend the night together. I couldn’t wait to be in his arms again.
A phone vibrated with a loud buzz, and mom reached in her purse. “That’s not mine,” she said, checking the screen. Dimly, I remembered setting my phone on silent for a meeting earlier. I swiped open the screen.
“Sierra? Is anything wrong?”
“It’s Ian. His meeting ran long, and he’s not going to be able to make it.”
Damn.
* * *
“Sierra come on out. We want to talk to you.”
It was Sunday morning and either Gabi or Kait was pounding on the door to my bedroom. Someone even tried the door… good thing I’d locked it. “It’s too early. I want to sleep some more.” My throat felt bone dry.
“It’s one-thirty,” Gabi protested. “I made lunch. Be down stairs in ten minutes and we’ll eat together.”
“And talk,” Kait said.
Shit.
Grumbling, I got up and threw on a robe. I’d spent most of yesterday hanging out in my room, reading, sleeping, and catching up on Netflix. For the most part, Kait and Gabi had left me alone. Apparently, they had now abandoned that policy.
Just to be stubborn, I took fifteen minutes, taking a quick shower. I emerged downstairs in a t-shirt, sweat pants, and a frown on my face.
Gabi had made BLTs, and Kait was sitting at the table slicing avocados. My expression softened. They’d made food they knew I loved. For a while, they let me eat in peace. But as I started on the second half of my sandwich, they pounced.
“Tell us what happened Friday night,” Kait said.
“I already did,” I said, gesturing with my sandwich and then cussing when an avocado slice slipped out. “Ian had a work thing and couldn’t make it. End of story.”
“If it was the end of the story, you wouldn’t be spending the weekend in your room moping,” Gabi observed.
“I haven’t been moping.” I didn’t do much to defend my lie—I knew they didn’t believe me anyway.
“Do you think he understood how important it was to you?” Kait asked.
“It wasn’t important. It was my aunt’s birthday party at a second-rate restaurant.”
“It doesn’t matter what the event is. No one likes to be stood up.”
That was true, but Ian hadn’t stood me up. “He had work. Of course that takes priority. It wasn’t a big deal.”
Kait studied me shrewdly. “Is that what you said when you invited him?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you phrase it like that? Tell him it wasn’t a big deal?”
“No!” I put my sandwich down, thinking about it. “Okay, maybe.”
Gabi was encouraged. “So that’s it. He just didn’t realize it was important to you. If he’d known, he would’ve come.”
“He was working,” I repeated, and suddenly I shivered, wishing I’d worn long sleeves. Glancing upward, I noted that the ceiling fan was on for some reason. To my knowledge, we hadn’t used it since Ian fixed the A/C.
“There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know what’s important to you,” Kait said. “Even if you’re just at the beginning of a relationship.”
“It’s not a relationship.”
“But maybe it could be if you let him know you wanted one. Maybe he thinks he really is a rebound guy. Maybe he doesn’t know you’re open to more,” Gabi insisted.
“I’m not!” I shoved my plate away and stood up, pacing to the kitchen. Gabi and Kait froze at the table behind me. “It’s not a relationship, and I’m not open to more.”
Frustrated, I washed my hands and dried them on my sweats. Then I turned to face my roommates.
“Why not?” Kait asked. “I’m sure if you told him you were upset about Friday, he’d apologize.”
“I wasn’t upset with him,” I said, my voice quiet compared to a few moments ago. And holy crap it was cold in here.
“It’s okay to feel that way—” Gabi began.
“I don’t. I’m not mad at him at all. He had a work commitment. He’s the CEO—it happens. I’m mad at me.”
“Why?” Kait and Gabi asked together.
“Because I was disappointed.”
“Anyone would’ve been,” Kait responded.
“You don’t understand. You two saw how bad things got with Joe, but I’m not sure either of you understands how it feels to have your entire sense of self-worth dependent on someone else. When things were good between us—not that it happened often, I felt like a million bucks. But most of the time, when we were fighting, when he was putting me down, I felt awful. Hopeless. And not at all like myself.”
“Ian’s not like Joe,” Gabi said when I paused to take a breath.
“I know that, but it doesn’t change the fact that on Friday, my happiness depended on him. When I thought he was coming, I was happy. When I found out he wasn’t, I felt like shit.”
“But you said yourself that wasn’t his fault.” Concerned marred Kait’s face.
“I know. But it still was disappointing. Strike that, it hurt. And I never want to be hurt by a man again. I never want to let a man dictate how I feel. Or who I am. I’m never letting that happen again.”
Gabi sprang to her feet and came over to give me a hug. Kait rose, too, but she planted herself a few feet in front of me. “Then you’ll never be in love again.”
“Kait!” Gabi said, aghast, but my roommate held her ground.
“I’m sorry, but it’s true. Loving someone means giving a part of yourself to them. You hurt when they hurt. And you hurt when they hurt you. But here’s the thing—” Kait forged ahead when I tried to interrupt. “When you’re with the right person, that’s a good thing. Because nothing good comes without a price, and that’s the price. When you’re with someone you love the way I love Tyler, then you welcome the good and the bad. Because together, it adds up to love.”
“That’s why I’m never going to fall in love again,” I said softly.
“Don’t say that,” Gabi said.
“If it’s with the right person, then you’re missing out,” Kait said. “You’re dooming yourself to a sad and lonely life. Because with the right person, you weather the low points together because the high points are so damn good. The right person makes you feel more like yourself, not less. But it’s a different sense of self. It’s the best version of yourself because you’re supported and loved by someone who feels like one half of your soul. Your soulmate, actually. Do you see how different that is with what you and Joe had? What you had wasn’t love.”
I stared at my normally mild-mannered roommate and took a shaky step back until I pressed against the counter behind me. It felt like all the energy had drained from my body. My voice was quiet. “I thought it was at the time.”
“Next time you’ll know better,” Gabi said.
“If you let there be a next time,” Kait added.
“How will I know if it’s different? If it’s good?”
“You’ll know,” Kait said.
“Yeah, you will,” Gabi said. “You’re the strongest, most kick-ass person I know. You won’t make the same mistake twice.”
I was silent for a long time. “I guess not.”
Gabi reached over and squeezed my hand. “Your fingers are like ice.”
“It’s that stupid ceiling fan,” I said, gazing upwards. “Why is it even on?”
“It’s my fault,” Gabi said, looking guilty. “I was baking chocolate chip cookies for Ava and Brandon earlier, and the oven made it really warm in here, so I turned in on.”
“Oh. It’s not warm anymore.” I stepped to the center of the kitchen and squinted at the fan. “Where’s the pull chain?”
“It broke off. Tyler said he’d have time to come over tonight to fix it.”
“We don’t n
eed a man to do that,” I said.
“There’s a ladder in the garage, but it’s so high up there,” Kait said. The kitchen ceilings were at least ten feet tall.
“Maybe it’s high for shorties like you, but I can do it.”
Moments later, Kait and Gabi were stationed on either side of an old wooden ladder while I carefully climbed up to the second step from the top. I blinked rapidly, the rushing air from the fan stinging my eyes. “There’s still a little bit of the chain left up here. I think I can get it…” I trailed off as I carefully reached for it. Someone put their hand on my calf, but it wasn’t hard to keep my balance. “There.” I said, stepping backwards onto the next rung of the ladder.
The fan above me was slowing down. “I did it!” I said, smiling.
But then my smile vanished when I heard a loud crack—and felt the wooden step giving out from underneath me.
20
Ian
It was a nice, casual lunch with my old friend—right up to the point when Tyler set down his beer, leaned back in chair, and sighed.
I took another bite of my hamburger, pretty sure I knew what was coming next.
Tyler cleared his throat. For fuck’s sake, I wish he’d just come out and say it.
“So… Kait said that Sierra’s had a pretty bad weekend.”
Shit.
“I texted her yesterday. She seemed okay.”
“She’s not,” Tyler said, looking me directly in the eye.
“I apologized for Friday. But she’s part of my company. She understands that sometimes when we’ve got new clients, the hours can get long.”
Tyler took a swig of beer. “Maybe she understands that intellectually, but Kait said she was hurt.”
“For having to go to her aunt’s birthday party alone?”
“For being stood up.”
“I told you—and I told her—that I had to work.” And it was true, dammit. But… maybe I’d underestimated what the evening meant to her. After all, I didn’t value spending time with my family very much. Maybe I assumed she felt the same way. She rarely talked about them. A stab of guilt hit me at the thought of how little talking we’d been doing lately.
Fuck.
“I’ll call her and explain.”
“And apologize,” Tyler prodded.
“That too.”
“She’s been through a lot this past year.”
“So I’ve gathered.”
“Kait says we just need to go easy on her. I guess I’m saying… be a little careful with her feelings, you know?”
“I have been!”
Tyler raised an eyebrow. “You call fucking her in a hot tub being careful?”
“Those girls share way too much information,” I growled.
“Look, if you’re serious about her, that’s great. I’m happy for you. But if you’re not, she needs to know that. Either way, just be careful to—”
“Christ, will you stop saying that? You, Kait, the other one… you all need to stop saying that. She’s not as weak as you think she is.”
“Ian, I saw her right after the breakup. She was devastated.”
“I saw her after the breakup, too. She may have been devastated, but she pulled it together for her interview with my company. And then there was that phone call, the one when she thought I was her asshole ex-boyfriend. She was fucking fantastic. Strong. Powerful. Magnificent. I’m not like you. I don’t give hugs and pat women on the back and tell them that everything will be okay. That’s not me. What I do is to challenge a woman. Tease her and goad her until she rises to the occasion and pushes back. She may be young, but Sierra kicks ass and takes names. She’s good at it. It’s who she is. So don’t fucking tell me that only you and Kait know what’s best for her.”
Tyler was silent, staring at me as I struggled to rein in my temper. “Okay,” he said at last.
“Maybe I’m exactly what she needs.”
“All right,” Tyler said with a nod.
“That’s all you have to say? It’s your turn to yell.”
He gave a half-smile at that. “I forfeit. But just so you know, Kait thinks whatever there is between you and Sierra is all just a game. And if she thinks that, then odds are, Sierra does too.”
That pissed me off because it was likely true. Had I ever given any indication to Sierra that I wanted something more? Then again, had she ever shown me that she did?
I picked up a French fry and then dropped it again. Maybe that wasn’t a fair question. I’d gone out of my way to remind her that I was in charge. Maybe it was up to me to say that kind of thing first.
While I was thinking about it, Tyler’s phone rang. “It’s Kait,” he said. “I have to take this.”
I stared at the remains of my lunch while he walked away, putting his phone to his ear. Maybe I should have listened more to what Tyler and Kait said. After all, I didn’t have the best track record in terms of relationships—mostly because I didn’t bother with them off. Games were fun. Sex was fun. Both those things with Sierra were very fun.
But maybe that wasn’t enough anymore.
Then Tyler strode back to the table, fishing money out of his wallet and throwing it on the table. “Come on, we’ve got to go.”
The urgency in his voice brought me instantly to my feet. “What—?”
“There’s been some kind of accident. They’re taking Sierra to the emergency room.”
* * *
“Where is she?” I barked as soon as we set foot inside the hospital. Kait was waiting for us by the door.
“They just put took her to an exam room, but no one’s been in to see her yet,” Kait said as Tyler put his arm around her. “Gabi’s with her.”
“Take me back there.”
Kait glanced up at Tyler and then eased out from under his arm, leading the way past a nurses station to a large room partitioned off by blue curtains. “We think her ankle is sprained,” Kait said, pointing at the last curtain on the right.
I strode to it and spotted Gabi standing next to Sierra, holding her hand. Sierra was lying on a bed, her bare foot propped up on a pillow. I took one look at her ankle and knew it wasn’t just sprained. It was broken in at least one place and it looked painful as fuck.
“Sierra…” My voice trailed off. Her face… god, the look of pain on her face. Tears streamed from her eyes and she looked like she was working hard not to sob out loud. I took her free hand and brought it to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
She nodded, and I recognized the effort she was making to keep quiet. I’d had a bad break when I was a kid after an ill-fated attempt to jump a ramp with a bicycle. It had hurt like hell.
“What happened?” I demanded of Gabi.
Her face was ashen as she watched Sierra’s struggle. “She was trying to turn off a ceiling fan that wouldn’t shut off.”
I squeezed her hand gently. “You should’ve called me.”
“Or me,” Tyler echoed. He was standing behind Kait, one arm around her waist.
A small voice came from an unexpected direction. “You don’t have a penis to fix things,” Sierra said, her words escaping through gritted teeth. “I got it shut off, it’s just that the ladder was old and one of the steps gave way.”
I shook my head in reluctant admiration. That was my girl—head strong as ever. She was in pain, but she hadn’t responded to kindness and sympathy. She’d responded—with rightful anger—to Tyler and me underestimating her.
And Tyler and Kait thought they knew her better than me.
As quickly as it appeared, Sierra’s bravado disappeared and she winced in pain, trying to shift her injured leg.
“Don’t try to move it,” Gabi said.
“It just hurts so much.”
I couldn’t stand to see the pain in her eyes. “I’ll go find a doctor if I have to drag one here myself.”
Pissed off, I went to the nurses station and yelled at whoever I could find. I wasn’t sure how much it helped, but a minute
or two after I returned to Sierra’s side, a woman in a white coat appeared.
“What happened?” she asked.
Kait explained while Sierra grimaced in pain.
“All right, we’re going to take an x-ray and see how bad the damage is. And I need all of you to move out and give us space to examine her injury.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said, my voice more challenging than I meant it to be.
“Sir, you need to back off and give us space to work.”
“We’ll stay with her, Ian,” Gabi said.
“Yeah, we’ll let you know as soon as we have any news,” Kait said.
The hell they would.
“I’m. Not. Leaving. Her.”
The doctor sighed. “Fine, but the rest of you have to go. Just one person can stay.”
Gabi and Kait exchanged a quick look. “I’ll stay,” Kait said.
“No, I will,” I said, staring her down. Then my expression softened as I looked into Sierra’s pain-filled eyes. “Unless you don’t want me to stay.”
The doctor’s patience was at an end—something I could emphasize with. “Look, why don’t you let one of these girls stay. This young woman’s in pain, and we’re going to examine her, and…”
I tuned out her words as I held Sierra’s hand and stared into her eyes.
She looked up at me and squeezed my hand back. “Please stay with me.”
* * *
“Watch out for her cast,” Gabi urged, following me up the stairs.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got her.” I reached the second-floor hallway and looked down at the beautiful young woman in my arms. Right now, she was rather out of it from the pain medicine they’d given her. I’m not even sure she knew I was carrying her, cradling her in my arms like a baby.
Kait had the covers pulled back, and I laid Sierra down on the bed as gently as I could. Gabi placed Sierra’s phone within reach while Kait rearranged the covers. We left the door open so we’d hear her if she woke, but it seemed obvious she was going to sleep for a long while. That was good. Cast or no cast, her recovery was going to be a painful one.
