by MF Isaacs
The party was just getting started by the time I got to the cliffs. It was the usual crowd doing the usual stuff. I wasn’t in the mood to drink, so I made my way straight to the bomb fire where a good crowd was forming. It wasn’t surprising to see Corina grinding her ass against George while the crowd cheered them on. I haven’t gotten with her in a few months and if it weren’t for saying goodbye to Hannah, I wouldn’t really want to get with her now. But saying goodbye sucked more than I was prepared for and I figured getting my dick wet would help ease the pain. I would only want it if I didn’t have to put much effort into it. Sure, I could start fresh with someone new, but honestly, I am not looking for a girlfriend and I am emotionally exhausted. Guess that is a good enough reason to say fuck it and go home.
I can sit in the hot tub when I get home if I need to relieve stress. Plus, I want to call Hannah and see how everything is going; make sure she is getting along with her roommate. Damn too bad we didn’t have anyone in our town that looked like her roommate; I would have totally put the effort into getting a piece of that tonight.
I called Hannah before leaving the cliffs. I already missed her. Despite just seeing her a few hours ago, I felt like I might have already missed something major in her life. She assured me that Steve, Curtis and Sierra helped her finish unpacking and hanging all her stuff up. They planned to get their books in the morning then explore campus so they wouldn’t feel lost come Tuesday when classes started. I told her to text me pictures; told her I wanted to feel like I was there with her. Yes, it was a little underhanded but I figure if I can see pictures of her every day, I will be able to see for myself if everything really is going well for her. Ultimately, she had to go because Kyler was calling and she didn’t want him to worry if she didn’t answer.
I could hear Kyler talking to her as I made my way out to relax in the hot tub. I know he is going to miss her too. We are both closer to her than we are to the other. Not sure why, you would think being guys we would automatically be closer. With her gone I need to remind myself to make it a point to connect with him.
First day on campus with others there was actually pretty fun. The guys arrived at our room much earlier than I expected. It was like they thought we would get up with the sun just to ditch them. In reality, we were just getting ready when they showed up. A few guys tried to approach us while at breakfast but the guys used their ninja skills that they mastered this summer to ward them off before they could even make contact. I gave up trying to argue with them about their behavior. Behavior that has just gotten worse since the death of Grandpa Buck.
After buying our books and taking them back to our dorm room, the four of us set out to explore campus. Hannah and I wanted to find where all our classes were so we wouldn’t be wandering around lost. Steve and Hannah had several classes together so they headed one way while Curtis and I went the opposite direction. I guess you could say Steve and Hannah went to the smart people lecture halls, while Curtis and I went to the halls where all the freshmen would be.
When Steve met back up with Curtis and me, he said Hannah was sitting in the grass talking to her mom on the phone but he wanted to hurry back there in case she was done. When we rounded the corner, I couldn’t help but chuckle as Steve almost broke out in a jog to get to her. The two guys that had tried to approach us in the cafeteria this morning found her unattended. I could hear Steve say something under his breath about Calvin killing him. Hannah must have felt the guard dog approaching because she ditched the two guys before we got to her.
I tried to ignore the guard dogs and pretend like everything was normal by asking her how her mom was. She mentioned her dad and brothers were having a hard time with her being gone already. Calvin was missing her so much that he wants to come up for the weekend.
The rest of the day was perfect. Hannah and I acted like tourists, having the guys take our pictures at all the crazy art around campus. The guys took us to the Pizza Mill, which Hannah quickly determined has the best pizza ever. Once back at our dorm that night, she let me do her hair and makeup. By the time I was old enough to really care about hair and makeup, my mom and sister were gone. So, I really didn’t have anyone to practice on, other than myself and that isn’t nearly as much fun. It doesn’t hurt that Hannah has beautiful hair and flawless skin. I let her try doing my hair and makeup and quickly noted to myself I would never allow her to do it when we had somewhere to go. I was better off doing it myself. Needless to say, for tonight I pretended to love it. We played dress up while picking what to wear to class the next morning.
First day of classes Hannah made us all participate in the McMann first day of school tradition, taking pictures at the front door. We each had to take one individually then she took one of me with my brothers then she had Steve take one of her and I. Despite looking like dorks, it was fun and I really didn’t have any pictures of me with my brothers. She sent her family the one of her by herself and the one of us together.
My classes were surprisingly boring. I was really struggling with coming up with any desire to learn. It certainly isn’t because I think I know everything, it’s just what difference is any of this information going to make in my life. I don’t think my attitude had anything to do with the money I knew I had. I think I might still be struggling from a bit of depression.
At lunch, Hannah and I were finally able to get some time together outside our room without my brothers around. I almost felt like I was 13 going to the mall for the first time without my mom. Ridiculous for sure, but it was true. When the same guys from the day before found their way to our table, Steve and Curtis were nowhere to be found. They were pretty dorky but the attention was fun. Hannah clearly had less experience than me because she said yes when Andrew asked if we would have dinner with them Friday night. In hindsight, she didn’t even realize it was a date until I told her.
After my last class, I made my way to our dorm room where Steve quickly jumped down my throat about not being allowed to go on a date Friday night. This also confirmed that Hannah was naïve, first she said yes to the date; then she told my brother about it. Clearly, I need to help her out a little.
I thought having Steve there feeding me information about what Hannah was up to would help alleviate my misery, but within days of her being on campus I was ready to pack up and move. Seriously, the first day of class she sent me pictures of her with way too much makeup on and dressed like she belonged on the cover of a magazine. The second picture wasn’t any better because it included her roommate, who had quickly become number one in my spank bank files. I wanted to asked Hannah if she had one with just Sierra, but that would be a little obvious. Instead I relied on Steve to send pictures and information. Like the text I got telling me my sister agreed to a date on Friday night with a punk ass that had been trying to follow her around.
I already had plans Friday night to attend Mitch’s bachelor party, otherwise I probably would have headed to see Hannah for the weekend. Instead I had Dad and Kyler on a tight schedule to check on her. I believed her when she said she wasn’t going on the date, but I wasn’t convinced that she wouldn’t try to pull a fast one because we weren’t there to double check. The bachelor party was lame, unfortunately we live in a small town and Mitch is getting married to Abby. He originally planned for Abby to be a hot one-night stand, but the condom broke and now his bride to be is four months pregnant. Needless to say, Mitch really wasn’t excited to be celebrating his upcoming wedding. We ended up drinking too much beer and playing poker at his apartment. Abby showed up the following morning freaking the fuck out. Seriously she pointed out all the hidden cameras she had planted to see if we hired a stripper, fortunately for Mitch we didn’t. For his sake, I hope she didn’t splurge for the cameras with sound because I am sure she won’t like hearing what everyone had to say about her.
I nursed my hangover at home watching college football with Kyler. Dad was at work and I think Mom was shopping. It was nice having the one on one time with Kyler. We didn’t he
ar from Hannah other than a picture of her with Sierra at the football game. It looked like they were having a great time, Hannah even had face paint on.
We spent a portion of the afternoon texting back and forth, she said her voice was horse from cheering so much at the game. Once again, she invited me to come visit for a weekend so I could go to a game with them. She said it was the most fun she has ever had in her life. Eventually I told her I would talk to her tomorrow.
Tonight was supposed to be my first college frat party. Several times this week Steve agreed that Hannah and I could go. But now that it is time to go, my brothers are being lying douche bags. One of us will be there to get you. Oh, we are on our way. Oh, I’ll be there in 10 minutes. If it weren’t for Hannah, I would have done exactly what Steve hoped I would, give up and stay home. But, having Hannah by my side, I got a little bolder and we decided to go. We agreed we weren’t drinking nor would we talk to guys, but we would stay together until we found one of my brothers just to prove ourselves.
Talk about eye opening. I knew enough about sex because my grandpa was kind of a pig and would talk about it all the time. But knowing and seeing were two totally different things. Walking into the frat house, the first thing I see is a girl on her knees sucking off two guys as the crowd cheers her on. The music was too loud to hear anything Hannah was saying and the smell of pot did little to disguise the nasty beer and piss smell that is probably permanent. Hannah guided me to the stairs where we looked across the room for one of my brothers. Instantly I saw Curtis getting ready to do a keg stand and knew he would be no help to us at this point. So our only hope was Steve. I guided her to the guys’ room, hoping that Steve was inside. After frantically knocking so we wouldn’t have to walk back through, I gave up when the neighbor opened his door and invited us to join him and the two naked girls he already had in there. It was the selfie we sent Steve showing him that we made it to the party that got him to open his room to us. He’s been hiding from the party behind closed doors and quickly convinced us that this was no place for either of us to be. We actually agreed with him.
I was done waiting to go see Hannah. I took the weekend, including Friday, off work so I could get as much time with her as possible. Hannah knew I was coming since Steve kept me up to date on what she was doing. From everything he said, she wasn’t doing anything crazy, she stayed close to Sierra when the guys couldn’t be around her. She hadn’t agreed to any more dates or even made friends with any guys.
I was so happy to see my sister that I didn’t care what we did. I would have been perfectly content hanging out in her room all weekend. She had other plans because she said I needed to get a feel for college living. Thankfully, that meant eating at her favorite pizza place, the Pizza Mill, and hitting the bookstore so I could get Western State gear to wear to the game. The Pizza Mill clearly deserved its title as the favorite. I would quickly gain 20lbs if I lived here and it would all be due to the pizza. It was a given that Steve and Sierra would go with us but there was no sign of Curtis Friday night.
Saturday was the craziest thing I had ever seen. Starting with the tailgating, which was fun all on its own. Hannah introduced me to Alfred and Norma and they instantly felt like the grandparents we never had. Hannah got busy helping Norma, which left me alone with Sierra because Steve was busy helping Alfred while Curtis was busy visiting with his friends. She wasn’t nearly as shy as I had her pegged for. She had a disposition that was different than most of the ladies I normally hang out with. Not counting Hannah, or wait even counting Hannah, because it was apparent quickly that Sierra may be sheltered but not nearly to the level we have sheltered Hannah.
After hanging out with Sierra while tailgating, I found myself looking for her throughout the remainder of the day. The game was fun to experience but really it was more fun watching Sierra have fun. Steve let me know I was welcome to crash at their room, but I didn’t want to give up my time with Hannah and Sierra.
Steve hung out with us at the girls’ room until well past midnight. He and I talked privately while the girls got ready for bed. I told him I was taking Hannah out tomorrow before heading home. He asked if he could see me privately before I took off then requested that I not let Hannah know. Instantly, my guard was up; why did he want to talk to me? It was like a ton of bricks hitting me at once. He likes my sister. He put himself into the role of protecting her since we aren’t here and now he fucking likes her. What the hell am I supposed to do about it. I can’t just drop everything back home and move here.
Hannah and Sierra walked back into the room wearing far too little clothing. I quickly ushered Steve out and would have liked to kick my sister out as well. Hell yeah! Sierra wore skimpy sleep shorts and a tank top. I knew she had a smoking hot body beneath the clothes she wore. But seeing it in person was more than I had previously thought. Seriously looking at her now I was automatically updating my spank bank files. If I didn’t figure she would slap me, I would ask her to turn around and maybe bend over. Damn my dick was getting hard.
I quickly made a bed up on the floor. It was far from comfortable, but being this close to Sierra made it totally worth it. Maybe she would get up in the night and forget that I was here; trip and fall landing herself pussy first on my dick. Chances are slim. But I can picture it in my mind. Before I could even get my t-shirt and jeans off I could hear Hannah snoring. I couldn’t help but laugh then ask Sierra, “How can you sleep with her snoring like that?”
“She only snores like that when she is really tired. The last two days have been busier than we are used to. Plus, if I am honest, I snore too so it’s not like I can complain. The fact that we both snore makes us quick to try and fall asleep first.” She spoke quietly so she didn’t disturb my snoring sister. “What do you think of Western State? Are you okay with her being here?”
I took a minute to formulated my response because honestly, up until Steve asked to talk to me, I was totally good with her being here. “I love it here. I was prepared when we moved her here to hate everything about it but over the last couple of weeks I can see she is doing really well. This weekend I thought I would see things that would make me want to drag her back home with me. I am not going to lie, I am nervous about the possibility of her and Steve hooking up. She has never been allowed to spend time with guys let alone date them.”
She didn’t respond by being offended which made me respect her a little more than I already did. I don’t know if I could be objective enough to hear someone say the idea of my sibling dating theirs made them nervous and not be offended by it. “I hear what you are saying. It isn’t my story to tell but I know my brother is the most loyal person I have ever known. That being said, he is also the most respectful person I have ever known. Trust me when I tell you I wouldn’t just say that, because I certainly don’t say it about Curtis. If my brother wants to date Hannah, she couldn’t find a better man to be with. Again, I am not just saying that because he is my brother.”
“Wow, I didn’t think I would ever find someone who spoke as highly of their sibling as I do. Sometimes it makes me feel bad knowing that Hannah is so perfect. At least I can be consoled with the fact that Kyler isn’t perfect too.” It was hard to keep the emotion out of my voice. I certainly didn’t think the conversation would turn in this direction. Wow, I hadn’t voiced my feelings of inadequacy in years despite them being there all the time.
“I certainly wouldn’t want to tell you what to think or feel. But I can tell you a few quotes that help me. ‘I’m stronger because I had to be, I’m smarter because of my mistakes, happier because of the sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned.’ my other favorite is ‘you were born to be real, not to be perfect’ I gave up a long fucking time ago comparing myself to anyone else. We are always more forgiving to others than we are to ourselves. We all have that voice inside our head, some of us are just better at turning the volume down.” She pauses as if she got lost in her thoughts before she said, “Running. It is the only thing that help
s me control the volume.”
Fuck she was cutting me wide open. Hannah had mentioned that they lost their parents which just kills me. Now to hear the quotes she tells herself, it’s like she just opened a window for me to see into her thoughts and feelings. It is more than any other person has ever done for me, even more than Hannah. It makes me want to take her in my arms and tell her over and over again that she is perfect just the way she is. I mean, looking at her, she is fucking perfect. But learning about what is on the inside makes her even more perfect. What do I say that won’t cheapen our exchange? “Thank you. Hannah really is my best friend and she would do anything for me or anyone she loves. I think I have worried for so long that if we didn’t shelter her, she wouldn’t choose us. She wouldn’t need us. Seeing her in her new world this weekend, I see that she is still my best friend; she is still the girl I grew up with. Giving her freedom hasn’t changed her, she still has the same beliefs and values. She is still my little sister. Selfishly, that makes me happy.”
She laughed quietly. “That is totally normal. I know my grandpa didn’t give the guys a choice, he kicked their asses out and made them go to college. He wouldn’t let them have a car because he was afraid they would drive home every weekend to see me or protect me. At first I was pissed at Grandpa; then I was scared they would go off to college, meet new friends, and forget about me. To this day, I don’t think either of my brothers have any idea what I went through during my senior year. Grandpa was sick and fucking stubborn and it was so hard to take care of him by myself.” I could hear the wavering in her voice before the tears took over. Normally I hate it when people cry. Seriously, ask Hannah, I will do anything to avoid having her cry. I’ve made plenty of Dairy Queen runs simply to avoid having to deal with tears. This was different, hearing Sierra cry was killing me. I got up on my knees then made my way to her bedside. I brushed her hair away from her face so I could look in her eyes. With my hand on the back of her head I pulled, awkwardly I might add, until I had her face squished into my bare chest. Through the tears she started to giggle and pulled away; she climbed out of her bed and grabbed tissue from the desk across the room. Fuck me, her little sleep shorts rode up the crack of her perfect ass and she did nothing to fix the situation. Damn I just wanted to touch her and my dick was making it very obvious that he’d like to take part in it too.
