by Caroline Day
‘What makes you think he's telling the lie?’
‘Are you kidding?’ I say in a tearful voice. ‘Adam has already lied me before, so he might be lying now!’
‘You didn't think he might be right? Have you checked the facts? Have you talked to Sebastian?’
I bet he's laughing at me. What a friend! I'm going crazy over here, and he’s taunting me!
‘You called Adam a liar, didn't you?’
‘I did, and I think so, too, but we have to check up on the facts.’
‘The only fact is that my brother is a jerk. Got it?’ I yell in his face. Something seems to fall behind the closed door, but we don't look out to check up, engrossed in our conversation. ‘Don't you ever mention his name again.’
Don't rub it in then. Let's watch the movie,’ Andrew pulls me against his chest, and I sink into his gentle, hearty embrace, but not for long. He stands up and pulls me into the living room, where worried Alex is waiting for us.
‘Let it not be a horror movie, okay?’
‘Okay.’
Five minutes later, we're watching a new American blockbuster in the living room. However, it does not help me forget about today's trip to the hospital. Adam’s story is burning a hole in my brain. I can't stop thinking of the time when he became addicted to drugs.
The thoughts are buzzing around my head, but I can't find the truth. After all, he mentioned some facts, but at the same time, there were inconsistencies in his story that should not be ignored.
On one hand, it looks like a dull lie, but on the other hand this might be the incomplete truth.
What is the truth of all this? Where can I find answers? I guess I know this.
I: ‘Hello there! Can you talk? I have to discuss some urgent matters.’
Sebastian: ‘What’s wrong?’
I: ‘You don't sell drugs, do you?’
My finger freezes over the Send button, but I take a deep breath and send the message to my man after a while. Sebastian would never lie to me. He’s never lied me before, he just held some facts back.
That’s a lie, isn’t that?
Sebastian: ‘No, of course not. What makes you think that?’
It takes him ten or fifteen minutes to text me back. However, this message of him makes me feel better.
I: ‘I was just wondering. I miss you dearly.’
Sebastian: ‘See you in a few days, okay? I got a bunch of stuff going on.’
I: ‘OK.’
He didn't answer, and I fell asleep looking at his message. He has nothing to do with terrible doings Adam has accused him of.
Or not?
***
The next morning, my head starts to clear, and three days later I completely forget about my brother's lies and the pain he caused, and a week later I look forward to meeting my man.
Sebastian: ‘I have a surprise for you.’
I: ‘In the same style as before?’
Sebastian: ‘Yes. Send you instructions later.’
Sebastian texted me today when I was on my way to Andrew's place. Today it will happen again, but my legs are not trembling, I am not worried at all, and I patiently wait for the late evening. Or will it be the night? I am not sure.
It's cool outside, but it's not that cold to make me shiver. He’s not there yet, but a real estate agent is already driving up to the meeting place. I can see his car over there.
‘Good evening, Miss Brown. Please come in,’ he says, motioning for me to follow him into the house, to my family house, which I left almost six months ago with tears in my eyes.
During this time, it was bought by some entrepreneurs and rented out a couple of times, but recently the residents moved out, and the house was put up for sale at a low price. The agent was happy that there was no need to take a long tour around the house. Well, I'm a little short of money, but I can get a mortgage. There's definitely enough for the first installment, and then I'll make money to pay.
‘Well? Has it changed a lot?’ the agent inquires.
‘Not really,’ I reply to the middle-aged man, observing my home. The furniture was still the same. They only replaced the refrigerator with a newer one and the sofa in the living room. ‘I'd like to sign a contract and make a deposit.’
Yes, this is true. I emptied my bank account to pay for the house. Andrew said it was silly of me to walk around with this amount of cash, but I want to move into my home today and start a happy life. I can't live at my friend’s place forever.
‘Okay. I have all the papers here. Do you have money for the first installment?’
‘Of course.’
‘Then read the contract, and we will sign it.’
‘Fine. Thank you.’
Finally! In a few minutes I will get back to my home. I will a happy life I've always dreamed about, I’ll forget about adversity, past mistakes and pain. I'll forget about everything that made me feel depressed.
However, the past catches up with me when I'm about to sign the contract. The incoming call. Dr. Connor? Isn't it too late?
‘Dolores? I hear the familiar voice but it sounds agitated for some reason. Just a bit.
‘Dr. Connor?’
‘I'm sorry to call so late, but I have to let you know...’
My heart skips beats, and various images flash in my mind, as the doctor continues, stabbing me right in the heart:
‘Adam died five minutes ago.’
Chapter 37.
‘What?’ The pen slips out of my hand, leaving a small dot on the paper.
‘Your brother died of cardiac arrest,’ he says officially. It sounds like a death sentence to a prisoner who didn't expect it at all. ‘We’re not sure what’s caused the death. Most likely the disease killed him. An autopsy will show the cause of death.
What’s going on? Adam should have felt better after the surgery. Dr. Connor promised that everything would be fine, that he would get better. Adam was going to leave the hospital soon and go home. With me.
‘Can I come now?’
‘Sure. Come to my office, we will discuss what to do...’
What exactly does he want to discuss? I have no idea. I don't listen to what he's going say next, and drop the call before I realize what’s happened. It’s too difficult to wrap my mind around the news that Dr. Connor has told me. The sentence he read out was too cruel and terrible.
My God…
‘Are you okay?’ inquires the real estate agent, his eyes fixed on the unsigned contract.
‘I have to go home. Can I see you tomorrow?’ I ask harshly without a hint of depression in my voice.
‘Certainly. I’ll make a reservation for you.’
I don't have time to thank you the man, just call a taxi. The car arrives in a couple of minutes, and I go to the hospital. I have to ensure the doctor told me the truth... I have to see my brother. He lied me! Adam's alive! He's probably in his ward, playing the tricks to make me to forgive him for what he did two years ago.
Adam’s not dead! He’s alive! He got the expensive surgery, followed by the round of chemotherapy. The doctor promised he would be fine! What caused his heart to stop?
The taxi driver drops me off at the entrance to the hospital, and I rushed in like a vulture after its prey. The most desirable prey that forces me to push aside people I meet on my way, run up to the third floor and burst into Dr. Connor's office.
The man is sitting quietly at the computer, probably working. Only circles under his eyes, and fatigue in them indicate that the shift was difficult.
‘Good evening, Dolores,’ the man says, standing up from his chair. ‘Please accept my condolences.’
‘What’s happened?’
‘To be honest, it’s strange,’ the doctor says, taking his seat and pointing me to the chair in front of him. ‘Your brother was getting better after the surgery and chemotherapy, but two days ago his condition started deteriorating. We managed to stabilize his condition, but Adam had the second attack of equal severity today, and the medication di
d not help. Our nurse was with him until the last moment, changed the IVS, and our team did everything possible to save his life. I’m sorry, Dolores.’
Sorry? Is that all you can say? Is that all your medical ethics is capable of? We tried, but it didn't work out? Heck! My brother is dead, and you tell me ‘I’m sorry’!
Why does a tear involuntarily roll down my cheek? Why is my head filled with memories of our happy past? Our childhood, youth... He may have been a liar, he often got into trouble, and put me in danger, but Adam is my brother. My male counterpart. And he died of some complications of the disease, and even the IVS didn't help him.
They didn't help him escape the clutches of death.
They fought to the end, a nurse looked after him, but...
‘Don't say anything to Dolores, or you'll end up among the missing persons. Got it?’
No! It’s not true! I don't believe this! Sebastian is not capable of murder, and he sent me to make peace with my brother.
‘Who looked after my brother?’
‘What do you mean? Our nurse. He recently got a job in the hospital.’
‘When?’ I continue to question the doctor who's staring at me as if I’m talking nonsense.
‘Ten days ago.’
My heart starts pounding, excitement rises in my throat, and the blood drains from my face, and the sudden cold grips me in the blink of an eye. Adam's warning suddenly pops up in my head, his arguments and evidence of Sebastian's guilt in the our parents’ death sound in my mind. And most importantly, the consequences that were supposed to overtake him if he told me about everything... Sebastian realized that I knew everything when I texted him. And he told me he’d be busy for the next few days...
Until tonight.
I feel like a character of somewhat stupid horror movie.
‘Do you have security cameras?’ I blurt out.
‘Of course. Why do you ask?’
‘I want to see the latest video.’
Dr. Connor watches me, appraising me with his observant eyes, probably trying to realize whether I'm going crazy, and whether he should call psychiatry, then picks up the landline and asks to send him today’s security footage.
It takes about ten minutes. The man inquires what time I’m interested in, then turns on the video on the computer, and turns the screen to me.
We speed up and slow down the video to check up the details. My brother is getting worse, he presses the nurse call button... A man in a lab coat and mask runs up to him, gets out, and comes back a few minutes later with some medications.
We can clearly see him since he’s standing almost near the cam. And I hope with all my heart it's not someone who I think it might be. I hope the eyes I see are not the ones that tenderly looked into mine not so long ago, and his hands with a barely noticeable scar on the thumb that looks rather like a glare are not the ones that add some medication into IV solution.
He's not the one who takes a last look at the security camera, shattering any doubts I had.
Sebastian...
Adam was right! He was killed! They killed him because he’d told me everything. Because I trusted the man I love instead of believing my brother. It's my fault... I have only myself to blame for my brother’s death. My disbelief killed him.
He’s been killed because of me!
‘Holy Jesus!’
I lean on the table to keep from falling, and try to wipe out the incessant tears that are rolling down my cheeks. Aware of the cruel reality, I do my best to restrain myself from whining, since I don't want to show Dr. Connor the depth of my grief and disappointment.
‘Are you okay?’
No, I am not okay! I've just lost my only brother! I lost him because of my stupidity. What a fool I was! How could I believe a man you bought me to entertain himself?
‘I’m fine,’ I say in a strangled voice. ‘When can I pick him up?’
‘Pathologists will determine the cause of death by tomorrow. You may come in the morning.’
‘Thank you. ‘Thank you for everything you’ve done for us,’ I look into the doctor's sad eyes, and get out. I have to run away. I run along the walkways, through the subway cars, straight to Andrew's apartment. It's his day off, and I need someone who can think clearly.
Since I am the next on the death list...
‘Lo, you're a shadow of yourself. What’s happened?’ Andrew asks as I push open the door, which hits the wall, and I rush to my friend with tears in my eyes. I can't calm down. Not now.
‘Adam has been killed.’
‘What? Killed?’ asks my friend, shuddering. ‘What makes you think that?’
‘Sebastian poisoned him.’
‘Are you at it again?’
‘Andrew, I saw the security footage!’ I yell at him with all the strength I still have after the emotional breakdown. ‘He was in the hospital a few hours before my brother died! He injected him with some medication and went away! Adam was right! Sebastian paid his debts to get me, he killed our parents a few years ago, and now he kills my brother! He died because of me, you know? Because of me!’
I'm choking with tears. A surge of hysterics splashes over me. I feel guilty, and the guilt reminds me every minute how stupid I was, and what I've done to my brother.
A shroud of hatred envelops me. I have everything – the circumstances, the situation, myself, and the man who stole my heart. Maybe that's why he sent me to make peace with my brother. He wanted me to say farewell. Sebastian knew that I would not believe what Adam said, and that he would tell me everything for my safety.
Dear me...
‘Run away from him! Get out of here.’
‘Help me escape,’ I say firmly, looking into Andrew's eyes for support. I didn't think that I would ever follow my brother’s advice, but now I don't see any other way out. It just doesn't exist.
‘Calm down, Lo! Let's attack all this with a fresh mind and take a final decision tomorrow.’
‘I can’t keep waiting! ‘If he got to Adam, he can easily get to me too! I'm scared, Andrew. Sebastian will find me and never let me live in peace. He wants me. Please, help me.’
At the same moment, as if to confirm my words, a message comes to my phone.
Sebastian: ‘I'll be waiting for you at that club in two hours. Please put on the zipped dress.’
What should I do?
‘Is it from Sebastian?’ he asks in a serious tone.
‘Yes.’
Andrew reads the message a few times, and then calls out loudly:
‘Alex! Come here, please!’ A few seconds later, Alex gets out of the bathroom. ‘Would you please lend some clothes to Lo?’
‘Why?’ Alex looks at us in disbelief.
‘I’ll explain everything to you a bit later. Do you still have the money for the house?’ he turns his face to me.
‘Yes.’
‘Put it in Alex's backpack and lay your belongings over the top. You have five minutes.’
‘Andrew…’
‘Just do what I say, Lo.’
Andrew grabs me by the shoulders and stares at my face, his chocolate eyes fixed on me, the eyes I remember from my childhood. In the kindergarten, elementary school, high school, and even at the graduation ceremony. I remember he's always been there when I've been in trouble. He did his best to help me when I was not able to think of anything. And now he's trying to save my life, while my head is spinning.
‘Everything will be fine,’ he quickly kisses my forehead. ‘Get ready. We are short of time.’
I listen carefully as my friend’s taking charge and giving orders. Alex brings his casual hooded jacket, sweatpants, backpack, and place the things on the couch. I grab the stuff, put the clothes over mine, taking off my jacket first.
‘Great. ‘You're about the same height, so you look quite natural.’
‘Will you explain your plan?’ I ask in a tearful but firmer voice.
‘Text your Sebastian you'll be ready soon. After that, you and I go out embracing each
other, get in my car, and get out of here. According to the official version, Alex and I are going on a hike for three days. You haven't been seen during this time, you wanted to be alone. Got it?’
I want to yell out that Sebastian is no longer mine, but I hold back the urge. This is not the time or place. I can cry later.
‘I see. But where should she go?’ Alex interferes.
‘Here's the rub,’ Andrew says thoughtfully. ‘We need to find a place far away from here, in the middle of nowhere, where this lunatic won't be searching for you.’
Far away from the city? In the middle of nowhere? A brilliant idea immediately comes to my mind.
‘I know where to go. I'll settle the rent issues on the way,’ I blurt out, looking at the bewildered guys.
‘Great. Then pack up and let's go.’
In a fighting mood, I take the most necessary supplies, and put them in Alex's bag, over the top of wads of cash. I take some belongings, push them back, and run to the bathroom. I grab some creams, towels, tampons, even a pregnancy test. I bought it just in case, and planned to take the test today, since I miss my periods. Heck! I'd forgotten all about it. All right, damn it. I’ll settle it later.
‘Lo, are you coming?’ Andrew knocks on the door.
‘I'm coming!’
I run out of the bathroom with my backpack almost full, but it doesn’t look overstuffed. At least it doesn't look like a luggage of a person who moves to another place for living.
Living without a man who broke my life...
Andrew drapes the hood over my head to hide my face, and then we walk out of the block, move towards the car, and place our bags on the back seat. Off we go. We get out of this street, out of this city. I go to the place where no one can find me.
I promised to check for rent on the way, but the cell is dancing in my trembling hands, and fingers do not hit the right keys. I have to retype my SOS message twice. My eyes don't focus properly. Everything is blurring in front of me. But as soon as I remember why I’m running away, the flood of tears captures me to the bone.
‘Are you okay?’ Andrew breaks the silence, looking out at the darkening road.
‘I’m fine.’ I guess so.
