‘Not really,’ Lloyd said. ‘Not by a normal person’s standards, but by yours and mine, I guess you’d consider it trashed.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘She’d gone right round the house unstraightening curtains, leaving dirty cups out and drawers half-open—that sort of thing. She’d unmade the bed and had even left the toilet seat up, but the really terrible thing was she was laughing—hysterically! She thought it was all hilarious, and she kept pointing at me and shouting, “Your face! You should see your face!” It was dreadful.’
‘That’s horrible!’ Sarah said.
‘Yes, she really knew how to push my buttons. She’d even rearranged all the kitchen cupboards—every single one of them—so that everything was in the wrong place. Well, you’ll know how disturbing it is to open a cupboard and come face to face with something that shouldn’t be there.’
‘That’s so cruel. I’ve never heard anything like that.’
‘Yes, I think I’d rather have had a punch on the nose,’ he said.
‘So I’m guessing you haven’t remained friends,’ Sarah said.
Lloyd looked at her and laughed. ‘You’re guessing right.’ He took a deep breath and stood up. ‘Why are we wasting valuable time talking about such people, when there is this beautiful city to explore?’
‘Because you said you wanted to know all about me, and I wanted to know about you too.’
‘Well, I think we’ve had quite enough revelations today, don’t you?’
Sarah nodded. ‘I do,’ she said.
‘How about some lunch? I’ve found the perfect place. It is clean, quiet, and the tablecloths are straight.’
‘And the food?’
‘Not sure.’
‘Well, as long as the tablecloths are straight, that’s the main thing.’
‘Exactly,’ Lloyd said. ‘You know, it’s so refreshing to meet somebody who understands these things.’
***
Mia was still on edge with the whole lavender incident and couldn’t get her sister out of her mind. She was quite sure Sarah had been there, and it was more than the scent of lavender—it was a feeling, a prickling of the skin, a certain frisson.
‘Are you okay, sweetie?’ Shelley asked, seeing her friend’s pale face.
Mia nodded.
‘I know what we need,’ Shelley announced. ‘A wonderful cream tea! How about the Pump Room?’
Mia blinked in surprise. ‘Isn’t that a bit expensive?’
‘It’s my treat. I’ve been saving up.’
‘Oh, Shelley, I can’t.’
‘You can and you will. Come on,’ she said, linking her arm through Mia’s. ‘I absolutely insist.’
They walked toward the Pump Room together, and Mia felt a little excited by the prospect of eating there. With its beautiful windows, columns, and arches, it was the most refined way to eat out.
Joining a small queue, Mia marveled at the great chandelier that sparkled high above the diners. This was the room used in the 1995 adaptation of Persuasion, and Mia could just imagine Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth there now.
‘You’re picturing it, aren’t you?’ Shelley said.
Mia nodded. ‘This is where they all used to parade, isn’t it?’
‘Just imagine all those amazing dresses,’ Shelley said, ‘and all that fan fluttering. I’m so glad we wore our dresses today, but I do wish we could travel back in time and see it all for real.’
They were shown to their seats and were soon ordering homemade scones with clotted cream and fruit preserves and a pot of tea. Waiters wearing green-and-yellow-striped waistcoats buzzed between tables, and there was a pianist playing soft music above the chatter of the diners.
‘Isn’t this lovely?’ Shelley enthused.
Mia nodded. ‘Life should be like this all the time.’
‘Yes,’ Shelley said. ‘Life should be a permanent holiday with sunny weather, Regency costumes, and cream teas.’
Mia laughed.
‘It’s good to see you smiling,’ Shelley said. ‘You’ve not been doing a lot of that since you got here.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Mia said.
‘It’s okay,’ Shelley said, fingering her napkin. ‘Well, it’s not okay, actually. It’s far from it. I want to know what’s bothering you.’
‘I know you do.’
‘Then why won’t you tell me?’ Shelley’s voice sounded urgent, and she reached out across the table and grabbed Mia’s hand. ‘I want to try to understand. You seem to have changed.’
‘I haven’t.’
‘Yes, you have,’ Shelley insisted. ‘You’re not the girl I used to share a flat with, the one who always had a sunny smile and a funny quip for every situation. Where’s she gone?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. She’s right here,’ Mia said.
‘Then perhaps it’s time I wore glasses, because I don’t recognize you anymore.’
There was a pause as their waiter returned with the tea and scones.
‘I’ve ruined this now, haven’t I?’ Shelley said. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ Mia said. ‘You haven’t spoiled things.’
For a moment they stopped talking and got on with the serious business of spreading their scones with butter, jam, and cream.
‘I shall have to run a marathon to make up for this,’ Mia said.
‘You’re still running then?’
‘Of course,’ Mia said.
‘Where do you go?’
‘Just around the streets.’
‘I hate to think of you living in London on your own,’ Shelley said.
‘I’m not on my own,’ Mia said.
Shelley frowned. ‘What do you mean? You’ve got a new flatmate?’
Mia paused before answering. ‘No, I mean I see my neighbors all the time.’
‘Oh,’ Shelley said, taking a sip of tea. ‘And how’s the job going?’
‘It’s fine,’ Mia said. ‘I’m doing more hours now.’
‘Really? Why?’
‘What do you mean, why? To make more money, of course.’
‘But what about your auditions? I thought the whole point of a crappy job at a café was so that you could have time to go to auditions.’
‘Yes, well, I just have to juggle more things at the moment.’
Shelley put down her cup. ‘You are still going to auditions, aren’t you?’
Mia took a bite of her scone, as if to delay answering the question straightaway.
‘Mia?’ Shelley persisted.
Mia sighed. ‘I haven’t had an audition for some time now.’
‘Why not? You’re still putting yourself forward, aren’t you?’
‘Not really,’ Mia said quietly.
‘Mia!’ Shelley said, with so much shock in her voice that she caused Mia to drop her knife on the floor.
Bending down to retrieve it, Mia wondered if she could crawl right underneath the table and hide for a while, but she knew that Shelley had to be faced.
Sitting back up in her chair, Mia faced her friend. ‘I had a bad experience a while ago.’
‘We all have bad experiences. It’s part of the business. You can’t let it put you off.’
‘But it was more than that.’
Shelley paused for a moment, waiting for Mia to continue. ‘What happened?’ she said at last.
Mia pushed the remains of her scone around on her plate and shrugged. ‘I think I just lost my nerve.’
‘But that happens to us all. Remember the time when I couldn’t even walk out on to the stage? I just turned right round and bolted.’
Mia nodded. ‘Yes, but you went to an audition the very next day, and you got the job.’
‘But you can do that too.’
‘No,’ Mia said, and the word sounded so final that Shelley blanched. ‘That was my last audition.’
‘Can’t you just talk about it? Maybe you need to tell somebody about it, and then it’ll be o
kay.’
‘I’ll tell you what happened, but it won’t do any good. I’m never going to walk onto a stage ever again.’ Mia drained her teacup.
‘Okay,’ Shelley said, ‘so what happened?’
Mia cast her mind back to the day she’d been trying to forget. It had been an audition for a new musical, and she’d been put forward for one of the main roles. Ordinarily it would have been enough to send her heart rate soaring with excitement, but she turned up at the theater feeling strangely numb.
She remembered the line of girls waiting to audition before her, and they all looked miserable. If they weren’t pale with nerves, they were pale with fatigue and from not having eaten properly.
‘Why do we do it ourselves?’ she asked Shelley now. ‘We put ourselves through absolute hell for the merest chance of success. You were sensible. You gave it up ages ago.’
‘Yes, but that’s because I’ve never had your drive and determination.’
‘Well, I don’t seem to have it anymore either. Anyway, I certainly didn’t have it that day. I waited my turn. Normally I would have been shaking with anticipation from head to toe, but I was calm. It seemed, for the first time, I knew what I was doing. When my name was called, I walked out onto the stage and nodded at the people in the seats below. I knew the song well. I’d been practicing all week, but when the music started, I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. There was no voice there anymore. It disappeared.’
Shelley put down her teacup with a clatter. ‘Where had it gone?’
Mia frowned. ‘I don’t know, but do you know what? I didn’t care. I really didn’t care!’
Shelley looked at her as if she were quite mad. ‘You weren’t worried?’
‘No.’
‘Or upset?’
Mia shook her head. ‘I just couldn’t help thinking that there were more important things to do than stand on a stage and sing a song.’
‘But you love singing! It’s your whole life!’
‘Not anymore.’
‘I don’t understand. How can all that passion have just evaporated?’
Mia swallowed hard. It was the one question she didn’t want to answer, but Shelley was looking at her so beseechingly that she wondered whether she should tell her the truth. Surely her friend deserved no less.
‘Shelley,’ she said. ‘I have something to tell you.’
‘Yes?’ Shelley sat forward in her seat, her eyes wide and her mouth open in anticipation.
‘I haven’t exactly been honest with you, but I want to tell you now. It’s time.’ Mia took a deep breath, but then something caught her eye. Standing by the entrance to the Pump Room was a tall, dark-haired man, the man Mia hoped she’d never, ever see again.
Chapter 26
Barton Cottage
I’d better not come in,’ Alec said as they reached the garden gate at Barton Cottage. It was dark then, and the only light was the moon, which kept slipping behind the clouds.
‘No, perhaps you’d better not,’ Mia said, ‘although I don’t think I’m ready to say good night just yet.’
He smiled at her. ‘You are an amazing girl.’
Mia frowned. ‘I’m not a girl; I’m a woman.’
‘Of course,’ he said, reaching out to tuck a long, dark curl behind her ear. ‘How could I have made such a mistake?’
‘I really don’t know,’ Mia said coyly. ‘Especially after—’
Alec placed a finger on her lips.
‘Don’t you want me to talk about it?’
‘It’s not that,’ he said, ‘but I do think it should be our little secret, don’t you?’
Mia smiled. ‘You mean not tell Sarah?’
He nodded. ‘I don’t think she’d be too delighted, do you?’
‘No,’ Mia admitted, ‘although I don’t see why she shouldn’t be. It’s up to me who I’m involved with, isn’t it?’
‘Of course it is.’
‘And she can’t expect to tell me what to do for the whole of my life.’
Alec cocked his head to one side. ‘Are you saying she warned you against me?’
Mia sighed. ‘She was just being her usual overcautious self, that’s all.’
‘What did she say?’
Mia reached up and stroked his shoulder. ‘Does it really matter?’
‘I should like to know.’
‘Well, I don’t remember exactly; she was just moaning on about not knowing you very well, which is ridiculous, because I feel as though I do know you, even though we’ve been together for only a few days. I tried to explain that to Sarah, but she just doesn’t understand these things. You feel the same way though, don’t you?’
Alec’s gaze seemed to penetrate deep into the garden. ‘Yes,’ he said at last. ‘I feel like I’ve known you both all my life.’
‘Well, Sarah’s so stuffy about these things. She thinks you have to be formally introduced by a mutual acquaintance and have known somebody for years before you can even contemplate having a relationship with them.’
‘That must make life rather difficult.’
‘Exactly. It does. It’s why she never sees anyone.’
‘But she must have had relationships in the past.’
‘Oh, yes, but they’ve all been complete disasters.’
‘Dear Sarah.’
‘Yes, poor Sarah. I do feel sorry for her, but she’s her own worst enemy.’
They stood in silence for a moment. Mia gazed down toward the estuary, drinking in the beautiful sight of the reflected moon. She didn’t often get to feel like a heroine in a novel, but right then, no author could have improved on the moment, not even Jane Austen.
‘I could walk you to the door,’ Alec said at last.
‘No, Sarah might see.’
‘What are you going to tell her about today?’ Alec asked as the moon dipped behind a cloud.
‘As little as possible.’
‘She’ll know you’ve been with me.’
‘Yes,’ Mia said.
‘And you’re sure I shouldn’t come in with you?’
‘Quite sure.’
‘Good night then,’ he said, bending forward to kiss her cheek.
Mia frowned, grabbing hold of his shoulders and kissing him on the mouth. ‘Good night,’ she said, watching as he disappeared into the darkness down the lane.
She crossed the lawn, the moon emerging from a bank of clouds to light her way. She’d never known how completely dark the countryside could be. Cities were constantly lit, and it was almost impossible to see the heavens, but at the cottage, they were all-pervading. For a moment, Mia stood in the middle of the lawn, gazing up at the sky above her and feeling that it could swallow her whole at any moment. What if it did? Would she care? She had never felt so at peace in her life. If some mystical force took her away right then, she would have been happy, because she had lived that day fully and beautifully.
Opening the front door, Mia slipped out of her shoes but didn’t have time to do anything else before a question was fired at her from the living room.
‘Where have you been?’
Mia groaned. It was time to face big sister.
‘On the estate. Where do you think I’ve been?’
‘With Alec?’
‘Well, of course with Alec. There isn’t anyone else around here for miles.’
‘It’s late,’ Sarah said. ‘I was getting worried about you.’
‘But you’ve been out all day.’
‘I’ve been back for hours. I tried to call you, but your mobile’s switched off.’
‘Sorry,’ Mia said, sitting down on the sofa opposite Sarah. ‘But I thought you wanted to get away from me. I didn’t think you’d want me ringing you every five minutes. Where have you been, anyway?’
Sarah pursed her lips. ‘I told you, I went into Tavistock.’
‘And was it nice—Tavistock?’
‘It was pretty. I think you would have been bored there.’
‘Which is why I stayed here. We can�
��t always be with each other, Sarah.’
‘But this week was so that we could do exactly that.’
‘We have been together. I don’t understand what you mean.’
‘I mean, you seem to be spending more time with Alec than with me.’
‘No, I’m not. Don’t be so silly.’
‘I’m not being silly. I’m being serious.’
‘Well, don’t be. There’s absolutely no reason to be serious about this. I’m sorry if you think I’ve been spending more time with Alec, and I’m sorry that you don’t trust him.’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You don’t need to. Your face says it all. You made up your mind not to like him the moment he entered Barton Cottage, and nothing’s going to change your mind, is it?’
‘I don’t dislike Alec. I don’t know why you think that.’
‘But you don’t trust him, do you?’ Mia was beginning to sound angry.
‘I just think you should slow down with all this. You know you have the naïveté of Catherine Morland and the recklessness of Marianne Dashwood, and that’s a lethal combination.’
Mia’s mouth dropped open at the Austensian insult. ‘Yes, well you have the conservatism of Elinor and the prudishness of Fanny Price, and that’s a pain in the arse!’
Sarah’s eyes widened. It was like Elizabeth and Darcy in the scene where they both say too much and wound each other almost beyond repair.
Sarah got quickly from the sofa. ‘I don’t want to fight with you, Mia. I’m going to bed.’
Mia watched as Sarah left the room. She really knew how to spoil a perfect day, but Mia was determined not to let it get to her.
Marianne Dashwood, indeed! She was nothing like her! Okay, so she sometimes let her heart rule her head, but what was wrong with that? She was a passionate person and believed in spontaneity and saying what she thought. Sarah’s problem was that she was so shut off and set in her way of thinking and anybody who didn’t respond to the world as she did was rash and wild.
As she got up to switch the lamps off in the living room, she looked out the window and across the moonlit lawn. This really was the most perfect place, she thought, and she’d fallen in love there. Life just couldn’t get any better.
***
Sarah had taken hours to get to sleep that night and had given up completely at one point, getting up to read a few chapters of Sense and Sensibility. It didn’t relax her, though, because it was the part where Willoughby was discovered to be a scoundrel, and Marianne’s heart was broken.
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