by Mia Garcia
Was this guy hitting on him? He felt a bit of flush of excitement that was quickly stamped down by the thought that it wasn’t the guy he’d want flirting with him. “‘You just look familiar’ is the grandfather of all lines.”
Blake smiled again, and even Ryan had to admit it was a nice smile. “You aren’t going to share your name?”
“My name is not-in-the-mood-to-flirt-Ryan.”
“One, that’s a long name. Two, who says I’m flirting? Maybe I’m just being nice?” Ryan’s stomach did a little flip of embarrassment but quickly recovered.
“That’s true. Sorry I assumed.”
Blake leaned toward Ryan—the twinkle lights hanging from the trees above them complementing the olive in his skin. If Ryan wanted to paint him he’d use acrylics layering the hints of light so they felt like they were reaching out to the observer.
“I am though,” Blake said. “Flirting.”
He felt his cheeks warm for a second and turned away to stare out in front of him. Where was Jess when you needed her?
“Looking for a way out?” Blake said.
Ryan wasn’t sure how to answer.
“I’m sorry. I was coming on strong.” Blake took a step back, physically giving Ryan more space. “I thought you were cute and thought I should give it a shot. Plus, my friend dumped me for a girl he just met in line, and I thought magic might strike twice.” Blake shifted so Ryan got a full view of the couple; they were one deep breath away from inhaling each other. “Sorry.”
“Holy shit.”
Blake sighed. “We used to date too.”
Ryan scrunched up his face, looking from Blake to one half of the kissing couple. “Him?”
“Yeah,” Blake replied. “Still best friends though. Otherwise I would not be at this party with no one else I know while he makes out with someone who is either his soul mate or his only source of air . . . not sure which.”
Ryan wasn’t sure what he was surprised by more: Blake’s honesty, or the fact that he was totally okay with his ex making out with someone new right in front of him? Would he be that okay if Jason did the same? It might just break his heart even more. What would Jason think of his resolutions? Would it bother him? He knew he shouldn’t care, that the resolution was about him and not Jason, but the two felt so intertwined.
They finally reached the keg as a text from Jess came in:
Out among the stars. Take a right at the patio, past the weed clouds, and keep going until you trip over me.
“Need help?” Blake motioned as he handed Ryan a few cups.
Ryan nodded. He’d read his mind.
“It doesn’t bother you?” Ryan asked, pointing to Blake’s ex. “To see your ex like that? I mean . . .”
Blake balanced two cups in each hand as Ryan filled them as high as they would go without spilling the head all over Blake’s hands.
“You just broke up with someone, didn’t you?”
It might as well be written on every part of him.
“Obvious?”
“The question gave it away.” He waited for Ryan to fill a fifth cup. “We were best friends before and sort of slipped into the making out shit. We didn’t really call it dating, just . . . I mean, we trusted each other a lot and wanted to figure things out together.”
Not at all like Ryan and Jason. They hadn’t accidentally slipped into their relationship. Ryan had crushed on Jason for almost a year before he had the courage to ask him out. “And then?”
“Then it swung back to friendship. It was gradual, really.”
Ryan nodded, snagging two of the four beers Blake carried. Blake made it sound so easy, like heartbreak was just like falling asleep. For Ryan heartbreak was like falling and not knowing when you would land. It was the wind knocked out of you until you forget how to breathe.
“I’m guessing from the look on your face that’s not what you wanted to hear.” Blake followed him out into the crowd. “When did you break up?”
“Six months ago,” Ryan said. “Well, also four months ago.” Blake cocked his head to the side even as they weaved around people. “We broke up because he—we—didn’t think we could handle—” Ryan stopped suddenly, stomping his foot down. “You know what? Fuck it. HE didn’t think we could handle the long distance. But we missed each other, so we got back together for a month. And then we broke up again right before Thanksgiving.”
Ryan took a deep breath and apologized to the random guy he almost spilled all his beer on.
“Where’s he studying?” Blake asked when they reached the edge of the house and the clouds of weed smoke. Instead of heading out to find Jess, Ryan found the nearest empty wall space and leaned against it. He placed the cups to the side as Blake joined him on the floor.
“Boulder.”
Blake tipped his head, probably wondering if he’d heard right. “Boulder?”
“Yeah—I know.”
Denver and Boulder were only thirty minutes apart, maybe an hour if the traffic was bad.
“Do you still like him?”
Ryan took another deep breath, feeling the wall at his back. It had soaked up the cool night air, and he flushed himself against it, feeling his shoulders unknot.
“Yes.”
Jason was his first love—the first time he’d ever felt like his heart would burst from his body. The first time his skin needed someone else’s touch that much. It felt so good to be with him and even better to be wanted by him. Ryan had tangled so much of himself up in their relationship that now that it was gone, he wasn’t sure what was left. Who was he now?
Above them faded pinpoints of light dotted the swath of black.
“That’s rough.” Blake nodded, unzipping his jacket and slipping it off, revealing a series of tattoos along his upper arm.
“Your parents let you get those?”
“They have their own.”
The tattoos looked like a tangle of paint, but he couldn’t see them with detail without getting closer.
“Can I see?” Ryan asked.
Blake inched closer until their legs touched and he could angle himself so Ryan could get a clear view of his arm.
“Paintbrushes?” Ryan reached out, fingers hovering just over the ink. Blake’s muscle flexed, but Ryan didn’t think he was doing it to show off, rather to keep his arm up so Ryan could see clearly.
“Had it for a year now,” Blake said, “and planning my next one.”
“You paint?” Ryan traced the two paintbrushes running along his arm; from the brushes’ bold strokes of red paint wrapped halfway around his bicep.
“I do.”
“I used to.” Ryan used to muse about getting some of his old sketches tattooed, but he could never decide on one.
“Did you? Wait—” Blake stopped midsentence, staring at Ryan as the smile grew on his face.
“What?” Ryan turned his head to look behind him, then down at his shirt. Had he spilled something?
“I figured it out! I remember where I know you from. I took an art class at your school over the summer and one of your paintings is still displayed in that room. It’s gorgeous—a split portrait of your parents, I think, and there’s a photo of you right by it.”
That was still up there?
“Fuck, that’s embarrassing—that painting is two years old.”
Blake shrugged. “Still a great painting. Why did you stop?”
Why had he stopped? Why had he truly stopped, if he loved painting so much? It was one of the thoughts that bothered him the most—that echoed when he wondered if he should pick it up again. Ryan thought back to the resolutions and begrudgingly admitted that maybe they would be more useful than he wanted to admit.
“Sorry—that’s none of my business.”
“It’s okay.”
“Have you thought of starting again? They teach classes every season—I think some of the spring classes start up in two weeks.” When Ryan didn’t answer right away, Blake looked down at his lap. “Sorry—I’m being pushy again.�
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“No, I’m just, it’s funny you say that because it’s one of my New Year’s resolutions to start back up again, sort of. Not exactly, but . . . never mind, just, yes, I’ve thought of it.”
“What’s the other one?”
“Other what?”
“You said it was one of your resolutions, so there’s clearly more than one.”
Oh boy. Ryan reached for one of the cups. The beer was warm, but he wasn’t sure it had ever been cold. “Um, the other one is kind of silly. My friends wrote them for me. And the second one is to kiss someone wrong for me.” He winced as he said it, waiting for his reaction. “I know how it sounds.”
“Doesn’t sound so bad,” Blake said. “Plus you could kiss anyone and check it off the list.”
“What?”
“Well—you said you still had a thing for your ex, so technically anybody is going to be wrong for you. Even me,” Blake said.
“That’s true,” Ryan said, unsure if Blake had just volunteered to be kissed or not.
Then Blake leaned in to whisper, “I’m saying you can kiss me if you want to.”
Ryan was suddenly aware of Blake’s closeness, the way his hand was just inches from him, how his lips were flushed and quickly turning up into another easy smile. “I . . .”
Blake smiled, and for a moment the butterflies in Ryan’s stomach kicked into gear. Damn, he’s really good at this flirting thing, he thought before reminding himself that this was just part of his resolutions. “Don’t worry. I know you aren’t interested, but I figure since we’re friends now . . .”
“We’re friends?”
“Well.” Blake smiled. “We had a pretty good conversation, shared woes, and had a drink. I think we are.”
It would handle one of the resolutions, even though Ryan still didn’t understand why they’d picked it for him.
“Okay. Yes, uh, thank you?”
“Yeah, it is a bit like a business transaction, isn’t it?”
Blake moved closer, waiting for Ryan to close the gap between them. He shifted until they were flush against each other and Ryan wondered what Blake saw in his eyes. What would be written across them? Could he see the heartbreak?
He closed his eyes and kissed him.
Ryan expected to hate it; after all, it wasn’t Jason. Instead it was nice and sweet and made him feel like he wasn’t just made up of gloom and the jagged pieces of heart. Like somewhere inside, a part of him still ticked. Ryan’s hands traveled up to Blake’s cheek as he moved into the kiss, their legs shifting toward each other as they continued. Blake’s lips were soft, tasted of beer, and were well versed in kissing.
When they pulled away fireworks hadn’t littered the sky, proclaiming it true love. Instead, Ryan smiled, still tasting the beer on his lips, relishing the flush that traveled up his skin.
“That’s the most chaste kiss I’ve ever had,” Blake said. “I feel downright angelic right now.”
Ryan arched a brow. “Compliment?”
“Yes.” Blake cleared his throat, then reached for his jacket. “Tonight was unexpected. And I’m kind of bummed I need to go, but I need to go.”
Ryan nodded, feeling like he should say something, not leave it here as semi-strangers who shared a kiss.
“Can I have your number? I mean, if we are friends, I should have your number.” Then Ryan quickly added, “Plus I need to know where to take this art class. I’m already on a roll with the resolutions after all.”
They exchanged phones, each adding their numbers in. “Sure—for the art class.” Ryan tossed the phone back, and Blake disappeared into the crowd. Ryan balanced the beers in his hands and passed the clouds of smoke to find Jess. One resolution down and another almost started. Not bad for someone who could barely leave his bed a few months ago.
He’d make sure to gloat.
Lee
IF LEE COULD disappear deeper into the patio sofa she would, but what if it turned out to be a wormhole to another dimension or universe? She’d be stuck in another universe and would probably be asked to rule it or some shit because of some dumb prophecy. Mystical worlds would be so much better without prophecies.
Ryan and Jess were still not back, and Lee had lost all but one of the seats she’d tried to save. They should just claim some square of grass in the darkness out back—it seemed to be what everyone else was doing. Lee stared into the fire as she attempted to pull a braid out of the ballerina bun on her head—anything to keep her hands busy while she waited.
Off in the distance she caught sight of Ryan and Jess, each stuck in place talking to different people, their faces flipping between mild annoyance and actual interest. Jess was much better at the interested face than Ryan.
Then she saw David weaving around the crowd by the bonfire, three cups of beer in his hands, perilously close to soaking anyone who might shift as he shimmied between them. Lee glanced back to Jess, then again to David, thinking how they made such an interesting pair of twins. The Amazon and . . . well, David.
Lee had nicknamed Jess the Amazon after she’d seen her jump over hurdles in practice. If anyone would fit in on an island of warrior women, it would be Jess. But where Jess was powerful, David was . . . what was David?
As she thought about this, David made his way toward her. He beamed when their eyes met, and it made Lee sit up straighter.
“Thank God,” he said when he reached her. “I’m so happy to see you!”
“You are?” Lee said. They hadn’t ever really hung out on their own before.
“Sí,” he said, a smile still on his face. As he shifted closer to her his mop of curls fell into his eyes. He tried to push it back with the hand holding his cup and some beer sloshed over the side and onto his jeans. The scene made Lee smile.
“I need your help,” David said. He turned to reveal two bottles of beer tucked into his back pockets and a pair of jeans close to falling off his—rather cute, Lee thought—butt. “I’m one accidental shove away from being an unfortunate teen movie moment, and I am so not wearing the right undies for it.”
“What are the right undies for it?”
“Not the ones I’m wearing.”
“So what undies are you wearing?”
WHY DID YOU JUST ASK THAT?
His lips quirked, and he stepped closer to her. “You first.”
Fair play.
Lee cleared her throat and nodded, reaching out to grab the cups from David. As he passed them, she looked down to the white fabric peeking above his jeans.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” David said, not noticing her wandering eyes.
They barreled through the crowds, and Lee mumbled at least a dozen sorrys on the way to a small group huddled on the lawn.
“Finally,” one of the boys said, walking toward them. He wasn’t very tall and wore a long black duster. She thought his name was Derek but wasn’t sure enough to say it out loud. “Thought you were lost.”
“Needed saving,” David replied, handing out the beers. “Thankfully Lee was there.”
“To Lee,” possible-Derek said while lifting his beer. Next to Derek was Audra of the nose ring, who was dating possible-Derek—that, or they just liked making out in the halls at school.
“Jess’s friend, right?” A short black girl with a pink pixie-cut nodded at her, and Lee’s stomach felt a little pang as she had no idea who she was. “I’m Anna. I’m new, so don’t worry about forgetting my name.”
“You look like a fairy.” It tumbled out of Lee’s mouth before she could stop herself. When Anna didn’t seem to mind, more words came out of Lee’s mouth. “In like a classic, like, Seelie Court way with all the fancy colors. I like your hair.”
“I love you,” Anna said. “And thank you, that’s kind of what I was going for.” If Nora were here she’d be peppering Anna with questions about her hair. For as long as Lee had known her she’d wanted to dye her hair bright pink, and Lee could see why. Anna looked super cute and it must be fun changing up the color ever
y now and then.
“So what’s your thing?” Anna said.
“My thing?”
David leaned in, bumping shoulders with Lee. He kept his eyes on her as he sipped from his beer. Her mind flicked back to the hint of white fabric she’d caught earlier. “Anna was homeschooled before now, so she has no social skills.”
Anna pursed her lips. “I like to get to know people, thank you.” Anna turned back to Lee, waiting for a response.
How did this turn into one of Lee’s nightmares so quickly? Was she in fact stuck in the same teen movie she’d saved David from just moments ago? “Just your average nerd with obsessive tendencies.”
“Join the club,” Audra smirked, before adding, “though, seriously, there is a club.”
“I should explain.” David moved until his shoulder rubbed against Lee’s just a bit, making her a lot warmer than she’d been a second ago. “We are all gamers. World of Warcraft specifically, and a couple others. It’s how we all became friends. Plus some random people from Virginia, but I think they’re, like . . . fifty or something.”
“I know,” Lee said. David’s obsession with gaming was not a secret by any means. “It’s hard to miss it when you play with your door open during finals week.”
“Oh.” He laughed a bit. “Yeah, sorry about that. It helps me destress.”
“It doesn’t sound like destressing.” There was usually a lot of yelling and ordering people around at times. It was no surprise that he’d been grounded for it.
“You should come play it one day, you’ll see.”
God, his smile was so inviting, Lee found herself smiling back. Did he always have those dimples? He must have.
“I don’t play video games.” Something about the hand-eye coordination didn’t work with Lee at all.
“No big.” Audra smiled, her nose ring catching the light. “Not a rule that all nerds have to like the same thing. I totally hate board games. Could give two shits about them.”
“That’s because you don’t focus,” Anna added, taking a sip of her beer. “You would rock Settlers of Catan if you gave it a chance.”
This must have been a previous debate because it wasn’t long before Anna and Audra were locked into a heated debate about the virtues of Settlers of Catan, and something called “Eldritch Horror.” It was the perfect time to slip away and rejoin Jess and the others, but she didn’t. Next to her, she felt David shift toward her.
