Even if I got a chance to see them again, I had no place in the human world anymore. It was best for all of us if they continued believing I was dead.
But I missed being human. I missed being around people who were relaxed and happy—people who treated me as an equal. People who I could just have fun with.
I hadn’t had any fun since… well, I supposed I hadn’t had any fun since before becoming a vampire. The other vampires looked at me as some kind of project. The poor, vampire prince who was turned against his will and couldn’t gain control over his bloodlust. They were either jealous of me for being vampire royalty, pitied me for it, or they hated me for it. Nothing in between. And they refused to get close to me, since most of them figured I would eventually lose my mind to the bloodlust and off myself.
How was I expected to live like this?
I stopped pacing and stared out the window. The streets were lit up more than I’d ever seen them before. The music got louder, and I heard laughter and chatter—the sounds of people having fun.
I wanted to be there. With them. Not as a vampire prince—but as me. As Jacen.
Maybe I could go out there.
I could now be around humans and control my bloodlust. After this past week, I knew I could stop myself from feeding once I’d started. And I’d been practicing my compulsion. Compelling vampires was harder than compelling humans, but I seemed to have gotten the hang of it.
Since I had all these powers, I might as well put them to good use and attempt to sneak out of the palace. After all, there were only a few ways this could end.
I could fail at compelling multiple guards and end up exactly where I was now—stuck inside the palace.
I could escape, not be able to handle myself around so many humans, and go on another murder spree. If that happened, I hoped Laila would do what she should have done the first time I’d gone on a rampage—put me out of my misery forever. If she didn’t, perhaps that would be the breaking point I needed to do it myself.
Or I could escape, kill no one, and prove once and for all that I was capable of being free to roam the Vale as I pleased.
I was neutral about the first option.
I refused to let the second happen.
The third was what I wanted.
Since becoming a vampire, I’d lost who I’d been as a human. It hurt too much to think about the life I had before—the life I would never get back. But now, I forced myself to remember. Because my swimming coach had always told me—goal setting was about mindset. If you saw yourself completing your goal and believed you could do it, you would reach it. Train. Push yourself. Make your goals happen.
That was exactly what I planned on doing tonight.
Annika
I stared out the window of the attic crawl space, watching as people walked excitedly along the streets. It was my first Christmas in the Vale, and it was by far the happiest I’d ever seen the humans in the village.
They strolled casually down the streets, chatting, laughing, and drinking. Alcohol was one of the few indulgences us humans in the Vale were allowed—low-end alcohol, but we weren’t picky—although I rarely chose to drink. I’d always found that drinking escalated my emotions. And since I’d been mostly sad since coming to the Vale, drinking made it worse. So I stayed away from alcohol.
Even though everyone seemed so excited, I couldn’t imagine going out and having fun tonight. So I was set on remaining here—in the cozy attic crawl space.
The crawl space wasn’t huge, but I’d made it my own. With the bookshelves and few blankets that I’d brought up here, it was my own little reading nook. No one else liked to come here—I supposed they felt cramped—but I loved it. It was the only place I could get away and lose myself in books without being disturbed.
The back window also had an incredible view of the palace.
I didn’t know what went on inside of the palace—probably horrible things. But the building itself was so huge and impressive, built into the side of the mountain, that despite the horrors that happened inside, looking at it gave me hope that all the beauty in my world wasn’t lost forever. And once Mike returned—whenever that would be—I hoped that the stories he had to recount from his time in the palace wouldn’t all be bad.
For now, I picked up the book I was reading, opened it to the bookmarked page, and settled in to enjoy the story.
It wasn’t long before someone started banging on the entrance in the floor.
“Annika!” someone yelled—Tanya, one of the other girls who worked at the Tavern. She’d been brought to the Vale around the same time I was, and besides Mike, she was my closest friend here. “Are you up there?”
I said nothing, not wanting to be disturbed.
She opened the entrance to the crawl space and peeked inside anyway. “I thought I would find you here,” she said, opening the trap door fully and pushing herself up. “You aren’t seriously going to stay up here for all of Christmas, are you?”
“Umm…” I glanced down at the book in my lap, since yes, that was exactly what I’d planned to do.
“No.” Tanya widened her big brown eyes and shook her head. “You are absolutely not staying in this dingy attic and reading a book on Christmas Eve.”
“Why not?” I asked, pulling the book closer. “It’s not like I have anything to celebrate anymore.”
She climbed up into the crawlspace with me, shutting the door under her. “That’s not true,” she said, her eyes serious now. “I know that this isn’t the life you imagined for yourself, but you’re still alive. You have me. And Mike. Friends till the end, right?”
“I might be alive, but I don’t get to live,” I told her. “There’s a difference.”
“Don’t be like that.” She pouted. “We all lost everything when we were brought here. It sucks. Trust me, I know.”
I nodded, since I did know. Tanya had been on a school trip when she’d been abducted. She, her boyfriend, her friend Maria, and Maria’s boyfriend had snuck out after curfew. She and Maria had watched their boyfriends be murdered in front of them—sucked dry by the vampires. The two of them were then brought here.
Maria hadn’t lasted a month in the Vale before taking her own life.
“Everyone says that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are the best days for humans in the Vale,” Tanya continued. “It’s one of the few days the vampires don’t force us to work. Don’t you at least want to try going out and having fun? At least for me? You’re the closest friend I have here—the party won’t be any fun without you.”
I didn’t, actually. But I could tell by the way Tanya was looking at me—her eyes wide and hopeful—that she was only going to be able to have fun tonight if I at least gave it a chance and went with her.
“Fine.” I sighed and marked my spot in the book, putting it back on the shelf. “But only because you forced me.”
Annika
I showered, put on the nicer of the two pairs of jeans I owned, and allowed Tanya to style my hair. I’d never been a fan of my hair—it was brown, long, and thin. Boring. The only thing good about it was that it was easy to take care of.
Tanya did some fancy medieval braided hairstyle for me and brought me over to the mirror to see. Of course, I had no makeup on—humans in the Vale had no access to makeup—but with my hair all clean and done up, it was the prettiest I’d felt since I’d arrived.
It was the first time I felt like a human and not like a slave.
“Thank you.” I turned to Tanya, my eyes filling with tears, and gave her a hug. “Really.”
“Anytime.” She did a final adjustment to my hair, bringing the loose parts over my shoulders. “Now, are you ready to party or what?”
“I’m ready.” I smiled, surprised that it wasn’t a total lie, and followed her out the door.
I’d never seen the streets in the village so alive. People drank, chatted, and even danced in the main square. A tree had been placed in the center. People had wound what looked like rolled up bed sheets around it, and
used common kitchen items as ornaments. Mainly forks, knives, and spoons, but there were a few decorated cups thrown into the mix as well.
It wasn’t much, but at least they’d worked with what we had to create some feeling of festivity.
Tanya and I found the rest of the group from the Tavern, and the moment they saw us, they pulled us into their circle and complimented me on my hair.
“It’s all Tanya’s doing,” I said with a shrug. “I just sat there and let her work her magic.”
“Well, it looks great,” one of the guys—Kyle—said, handing each of us a beer.
I refused and opted for a soda instead.
“By the way, we were just talking about Mike,” Kyle added after I’d taken my first sip.
“What about him?” I asked, instantly going on guard. Because while I didn’t want anyone to know, I was worried about Mike. Camelia had said the job he needed to do would only take a few days.
It had been over two weeks, and there was still no word from him.
She would have let me know if something had happened to him… right?
“Shouldn’t he be back by now?” Kyle asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, since Camelia had never told me the exact day he would be returned. “I guess his job in the palace is taking longer than they anticipated.”
“I wish I’d been chosen for a job in the palace,” Tanya said dreamily, gazing up at the majestic building on the mountain. “I wonder if he’ll be allowed to tell us what it’s like there?”
“Even if he isn’t, we need to force him to tell us,” one of the other girls—Valerie—chimed in.
I nodded in agreement, although I couldn’t push the worry away.
Hopefully Mike would be back soon.
“What do you all know about Camelia?” I asked, wanting to change the subject. “The witch who works for Queen Laila.”
“Nothing,” Kyle said. “Except that she upholds the boundary around the Vale.”
“And that she’s the reason why the temperatures here are bearable,” Valerie added. “We would probably all freeze to death if it wasn’t for her magic.”
“Anything else?” I asked. “Do you think she’s honest?”
As in—would she lie about what she truly needed Mike to do? Because what if she didn’t need him for a job in the palace at all? What if she took him for something else?
What if he was never coming back?
“I don’t know.” Kyle shrugged. “It’s not like she’s ever talked to any of us.”
“Yeah.” Valerie finished off her beer and started a new one. “Not even those of us who grew up here!”
I sighed and gazed up at the mountain. The palace was so close, yet so far away.
What were the vampires doing in there right now? I imagined their Christmas celebration was incredible and decadent.
“Don’t look so glum,” Tanya said to me. “I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Thanks.” I forced a smile, although I could tell she knew that it wasn’t real.
“I love this song!” She grabbed my hand, pulling me to the center of the square. “Come on—let’s dance!”
I allowed her to drag me away, because I didn’t feel like standing there and discussing Mike for any longer. The others followed, and soon enough we were all dancing in the square, singing along and cheering each other on. It reminded me of what my life had been like before.
And while I knew it wouldn’t last for long, I was determined to enjoy it.
Jacen
I stepped through the door in the palace walls, thinking about how easy it had been to compel the vampire guards to let me pass. All I’d had to do was look at them, command them to let me by, and that was it.
They’d moved to the side and allowed me to go on my way.
The palace was abuzz with preparations to celebrate Christmas Eve at midnight, so it was relatively empty outside. Using my vampire speed, I zipped down the mountain, feeling alive as the wind knocked off my hood and rushed through my hair. This wasn’t the first time I’d been outside the palace—I would never forget the first time and the massacre that had followed—but this was the first time when I wasn’t overcome by the haze of bloodlust.
Last time, the scent of blood coming from the humans in the village had consumed me.
Now, while I smelled their blood, and while I wanted it, I controlled it. And instead of only thinking about the blood, I thought about other things. Like how the mountains towered so high that this valley truly felt like a kingdom, and how the air was so crisp and clean that it took my breath away.
I took the back roads, not wanting to run into any vampires (even though I now fully trusted my ability to compel them), and finally arrived at the human village.
It was easy to tell where the vampire town ended and the human village began, and not just because the smell of their blood became infinitely stronger with each step I took. In the village, the houses were shabbier, the cobblestones on the streets were uneven and unturned, and everything in general was much more drab.
I pulled on my hood and stopped in the path, looking around. Why had I wanted to come here at all? Being here—seeing the way the human blood slaves lived—it was depressing.
But then a song started playing in the distance—a popular song I remembered from before being brought to the Vale. People hooted and hollered—it sounded like they were having fun.
I wanted to join them.
I wanted to stop being Prince Jacen, the newly turned vampire who couldn’t control his bloodlust, and become another face in the crowd.
And so, I hurried toward the music, making sure to keep a normal pace. After all, no one would believe I was a human if I burst in there running at the speed of a vampire.
As I got closer, the streets got busier. People were holding bottles of what looked like home brewed beer, and they were all headed in the same direction I was—toward the sound of music.
Then one of them bumped up against me, his neck tantalizingly close to my lips.
I imagined what it would be like to pull him into a dark corner, dig my fangs into his neck, and drink his blood dry. But he smelled like something else—alcohol—and that alone made it easier to stop my fangs from sliding out of my gums. Alcohol gave blood a bitter aftertaste—it was why when humans donated their blood once a month, they were required to refrain from drinking alcohol for twenty-four hours beforehand.
I’d once asked Laila why humans were allowed alcohol at all. Weren’t they considered slaves and forbidden from all luxuries?
She’d told me that when you ruled, it was important to not take everything away from your subjects. It was necessary to give them a bit of what they desired—alcohol, a few days off a year, books, etc. Those small allowances gave them hope.
Hope lowered the chance of rebellion.
But only a bit of it. Too much, and then there might be trouble.
Now that I’d gained control over my bloodlust, I glared at the guy who’d bumped into me and walked away.
“Sorry,” he muttered under his breath. Once he thought I was out of his hearing, he told his friend, “What’d I ever do to him?”
I didn’t pay attention to the friend’s answer. I just walked faster, toward the music, feeling more confident now that I knew the humans were drinking tonight.
The alcohol in their systems would make it much less likely that I would lose control.
Finally, I approached a square—I guessed it was the main square in the village, because it was packed with people celebrating and dancing.
In the center was the saddest Christmas tree I’d ever seen. The tree itself was average, but the decorations were pathetic. What looked like twisted bed sheets were wound around it, and instead of ornaments there was kitchenware. Actual kitchenware that people ate with—forks, spoons, knives, and the like.
I looked around in bewilderment. All of this partying for this sad little Christmas tree?
But as I took in the happy faces, I
realized how condescending I was being. The humans here didn’t have access to traditional Christmas decorations. The fact that they had come together, taken their everyday objects, and made use of them where they could was… well, I daresay it was magical.
A few people looked my way, and I pulled my hood farther over my head, trying to shrink into the wall. I imagined I looked quite silly—at over six feet tall, with the physique of an Olympian swimmer, I’d never been one to hide in the shadows.
But I couldn’t afford having anyone recognize me. I doubted they would—I hadn’t yet been introduced as a prince of the Vale since I technically hadn’t proven control over my bloodlust, and they certainly would never think that a vampire would come to their Christmas Eve celebration—but it was better to be safe than sorry.
I was looking around, watching everyone chat and laugh and dance, when I saw her.
She was dancing with her friends, but the first thing I noticed was her hair. The color wasn’t anything special—brunette, like many others in the crowd—but she wore it in an intricate half braided style. When she smiled, she looked like a princess. Her cheeks were flushed and radiant—I assumed from dancing—and her eyes were warm and kind as she chatted with a small blonde girl next to her.
I wanted her to look at me like that. With such pure happiness and kindness.
I wanted to know her.
And so, I pushed through the crowd, unaware of anything but the beautiful girl before me. I wasn’t even aware of the smell of their blood.
Finally I neared her group, and I stood there watching them, unsure what to say.
Why was I so speechless? In my human life, I’d approached so many beautiful women at bars that I’d lost count. I had this down to an art.
But that was my human self.
Now I was a vampire.
That was what had made me pause. Because this girl—whoever she was—looked so kind and innocent. I wanted her, yes. But did I want to taint her with who I was? I could already smell her blood above everyone else’s—sweet, delicious, and untainted by alcohol. Why didn’t she drink when all the other humans reveled in such a luxury?
The Vampire Wish: The Complete Series (Dark World) Page 6
