“That’s not helping,” Mr. Gordon said.
“It’s reality, Daniel,” Nicholae shot back. “A very possible reality. Can you live with that, Oliver?”
I couldn’t respond. I gazed out at the ocean, not wanting to meet Nicholae’s eyes. I thought of all the bad decisions I’d made. The people I’d put in danger. I thought of Anna—and then I looked at Desiree. I couldn’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I had to stop looking at what I wanted and instead to what was best for the other people in my life.
“Desiree…I’m sorry,” I said.
She knew immediately what I meant and looked absolutely crestfallen.
“No,” she said. “No…no, I’m not leaving you. We talked about this.”
“I know, but Nicholae’s right. I couldn’t live with myself if you were next. I can’t lose two people I love in the same day. I just can’t.”
“Remember what happened to the last camp?”
“I do, which may be why it’s safer for you to go home.”
“I can’t believe you!” She got to her feet, dropping her nearly full bowl of stew to spill on the sand, and stormed off in the direction of Jeremy’s grave.
I clenched the fist of my free hand and took a deep breath.
“It’s the right decision,” Mr. Gordon said.
“She’ll get over it,” Nicholae said.
“Yeah,” I said and went after her.
Desiree stood a few feet away from the metal cross with her arms folded. I walked up to stand beside her and she defiantly turned her body away from me.
“I can’t believe you want me to go, after all we’ve been through. We said we’d stick together.”
“I want you to be safe,” I said, moving around so I could see her face. “Don’t make me feel guilty for wanting to keep you safe. Your life has been in jeopardy numerous times because of me. Look where Eli is because of me. Anna is most likely dead. And Jeremy is dead…because of me.”
“What happened to Jeremy wasn’t your fault.” She finally looked at me.
“I love you too much to let you go any further.”
“It’s not your decision.”
“Then please make it for me,” I pleaded. “I’m begging you.”
She didn’t answer.
“What do I have to do?” I asked.
“I feel like if we say goodbye now, I’ll never see you again.” She lowered her arms and swung them back and forth nervously.
Help me out here, Jeremy. You always had a way with making girls do what you wanted. I need her to listen to me.
“I promise to come back to you,” I said.
“You can’t make that kind of prom—”
“But I intend to keep it. I know I can. That’s all I can do. Do you trust me?” I asked, thinking back to when I had to convince her to grab my hand before she slipped off the cliff, back when Cias had tossed her over the mountain-road guardrail. I hoped she was transported to that moment, too.
“Yes,” was all she said, but it was more than enough.
The metal cross glistened in the sunlight, and I knew Jeremy had helped me again.
When we walked back, Mr. Gordon was standing, holding out a newly filled bowl of stew.
“No, thank you,” Desiree said.
The fire had been extinguished and the pot and other bowls were gone. Nicholae and Colton had walked down toward the water in conversation. Mr. Gordon placed the remaining bowl on the rocks making up the fire pit.
“Then we should get going,” he said.
“Just one thing,” Desiree said. She unstrapped her bulletproof vest and handed it to Mr. Gordon.
“You should keep this,” he said, but took it nonetheless.
“Give me your shirt,” Desiree said to me and pulled off her Elliott Smith sweater.
Shocked and more than a little excited, I did as she asked without taking my eyes off her semi-clothed body. Seeing her like this made it so hard to stand by my decision to let her go. Once my shirt was off, I felt Mr. Gordon’s eyes on me.
“Oliver…I didn’t know…” Mr. Gordon said.
“I’m okay,” I said, looking down at all my silvery scars. I pointed to the circle where the screwdriver had been thrust into my stomach not so many months ago. “I’ve held onto them all.” I drove the point in by showing him the scar on my hand where there had once been a fake, yet convincing wolf-head tattoo.
Desiree and I exchanged shirts. She had hers on and a hand out to take back her vest in a heartbeat. My lips pulled down into an exaggerated pout.
“I’m a lady,” she said, securing her vest to her body.
I stared down at the sweatshirt she’d handed to me with the large Elliott Smith stenciled across the front.
“I want it back,” Desiree said.
“I know,” I said and put it on. The sweatshirt fit like a tight hug, and I imagined it was her.
I didn’t ask where they were headed. I guessed she’d go to the camp, even though I wanted her to go home. But I couldn’t ask more of her. I was lucky she’d agreed to go at all without more of a fight.
I couldn’t handle another long, drawn-out goodbye. I received hugs from both of them and a long fervent kiss from Desiree. The longer I held her, the more I wanted her to stay, but I had to ignore the voice in my head only concerned with what I wanted.
Shut up, Nero!
“I believe in you,” Mr. Gordon said.
“Thank you,” I said.
Desiree stepped up, placed a hand on each side of my face, and kissed me again. “I love you, Oliver Lorne. You better come back to me.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, placing my hands over hers. “I love you, Desiree Behring. From the moment I first met you, I knew—I just knew—you were the one for me. I owe you a date, remember?”
“And a sweatshirt. Don’t you forget it.”
Nicholae and Colton came back to say goodbye and another door appeared in the sand.
Each new thing that happened today seemed to bring tears to my eyes, and watching Desiree and Mr. Gordon walk through the door was no different. Once the door disappeared, I knew I had to pull myself together if I ever wanted to see her again, which was something I wanted more than anything.
16
Cave
Nicholae manifested our door only moments after Desiree and Mr. Gordon left. We had already wasted too much time as it was. If Kafka knew where he was going, then he was probably already there. Why even bother at this point? It seemed as good of a plan as any just to let him finish, regroup, and attack again when the odds were more in our favor. But if Kafka succeeded in killing the final guardian, then the upper plane would be gone forever. Acanombia, the place where I was born, would no longer exist. True, the plane was merely a shell right now, but at least it still existed. It was hard to imagine an entire world just disappearing into oblivion, which was exactly what was happening.
“Where are we going now?” I asked.
“To the other side of the globe,” Nicholae said. “Up and over.”
The door on the beach led us to the top of the cliff. Seeing the bridge from this vantage point again sent tingles all through my body. I could still see Kafka and I could still see Jeremy. I never wanted to see this goddamn collapsing bridge again. We should have buried him somewhere else.
Nicholae helped me transition back to the plane of the eternal orange sky with no sun, no life, and no bridge. There was another door waiting for us—more than just a door—Erik was waiting for us, too.
“You said Kafka was on the move, but I didn’t see him,” Erik said. “He isn’t where we are.”
“He left over an hour ago,” Nicholae said. “Do you think he’s still looking? Has he not found this one yet? Or is he in the wrong place? Otherwise, we are.”
“We’re not in the wrong place. I’ve been in the cave, and granted I’ve never seen a Guardian of the Great In-Between, but it has to be the right one. It’s quite a sight.”
“After all t
his time, how did we find it first?”
Erik shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.” He stopped and took inventory of who was gathered around the door. “Where’s Jeremy?”
“Dead,” Nicholae said brusquely.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Nicholae and received nothing back but a cold stare, so he turned to me. “I’m sorry, Oliver.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, let’s get moving. I don’t want to squander this unexpected opportunity,” Nicholae said and ushered us all through the door to cross the world in a single step.
The temperature jumped about fifty degrees when we stepped out on the other side of the door. The fog here was thicker than where we’d left and shrouded my feet completely. But the eerie sky didn’t change. It should have probably been nighttime on the other side of the world, but the twilight glow was exactly the same. The land was flat and there weren’t even many phantom trees that I could see. The only thing nearby was a cluster of rocky hills, each hill with its own cave opening.
Logan walked up to me and gave me a strong hug.
“I guess you got all the excitement,” he said.
I frowned reflexively. “I wouldn’t call it that.”
“Where are the others?” His face hardened. “Oh shit, don’t tell me. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Jeremy,” I said. “He didn’t make it.”
“And—”
“Desiree and Mr. Gordon went back to the camp.” Most likely.
“I’m relieved for them, but Jeremy—I can’t believe that—it’s absolutely terrible. Was it quick at least?”
I shook my head.
“Okay, I’m just gonna stop talking,” Logan said.
Logan and I walked over to Nicholae, Erik, Cassandra, and the others gathered around them. The door had once again vanished. I glanced around for other strange doors popping up out of the fog, but we seemed to be alone.
I pushed up my sleeves since I was already beginning to sweat. “Who’re they again?” I whispered to Logan.
“Duncan, Gulliver, and Yvette,” he said, trying not to interrupt Nicholae’s brief retelling of this morning’s costly events to Erik and Cassandra.
Nicholae had been so weak and bloody when Mr. Gordon and Colton had dragged him off the beach. Now it looked like all the blood remaining on his clothes was that which he’d spilled of others, not his own.
“I wish we were there instead of waiting around here,” Cassandra said.
“It could have been one, more, or all of you,” Nicholae said. “Let’s get out of the open.”
Erik led us through the orange foggy wasteland and headed toward one of the center cave openings in the collection of rocky mounds. The Lornes were at the front of the pack. I wanted to stay as close to Nicholae as possible, so I kept to his heels.
“Is Daniel coming back?” Logan asked.
“I dunno.” I had gotten used to Mr. Gordon always showing up at just the right time, but I knew I couldn’t always count on that anymore.
Before entering the cave, Erik stopped and scanned the vast emptiness behind us. We still seemed to be alone.
“Something doesn’t feel right,” he said.
I felt a pang in the pit of my stomach. It smelled like we were walking into a trap. Kafka had always been two steps ahead of everyone else. How could we have found this place before him?
“Then let’s all be on guard,” Nicholae said and was the first to step into the mouth of the cave.
“You don’t know where you’re going,” Erik said, taking off after his brother.
Nicholae threw a handful of small glowing orbs into the air and they fanned out ahead of him. Their collective light revealed a tunnel descending steadily into a thick blackness.
“There’s only one way,” Nicholae said. “I think I can manage.”
“You say that now,” Erik said. “Cassandra and I have been all over these caves. It took us a while to find the way.”
“Which luck played a large part,” Cassandra said. “You’ll see what I mean when we get closer.”
We continued into the belly of the beast, but it just seemed to be the one path. No openings. No holes in the floor or ceiling. After another few minutes of walking, the naturally rocky ground slowly turned into crude cutaway stairs, and then evolved into a fully sculpted stone staircase. The tunnel condensed until we were forced to walk single file and began to spiral downward.
Erik tapped Nicholae on the shoulder and instructed him to cut the light. The orbs fizzled and died, leaving us to wander downward in total darkness. With the tunnel now being so narrow, it was easy to reach both walls without even fully extending my arms, which helped steady me on the continued descent.
“I hope we didn’t go too far,” Erik said.
“Go too far for what?” Nicholae asked. “We’ve had no other choices. And I’ve been scanning the walls. Nothing but solid rock as far as I can see.”
“That’s what makes this so tricky,” Cassandra responded.
We continued to wind downward completely blind. The air felt thick, or maybe it was just claustrophobia creeping in. Every few steps, I bumped into Cassandra. She was directly ahead of me, and each time I encroached on her personal space, my face was assaulted by her long hair.
“How does my hair smell?” she asked.
“I’m sorry,” I said, thankful for the darkness so she couldn’t see me blush—but then again, if it wasn’t for the darkness, I wouldn’t have had this problem.
Logan collided with me a few times, maybe just to make me feel better.
“Erik,” Cassandra said. “I think we’ve gone too—”
“Here it is!” Erik exclaimed.
The procession stopped and I couldn’t help nudging Cassandra again. I quickly backed up a stair, pushing Logan back, which sent a ripple effect through the rest of the group.
“Do you see the light?” Erik asked. “There, near the ground is where it’s the clearest, but if you look carefully, you can see it track up the wall.”
I didn’t notice the light Erik was talking about until he began pushing the wall in. The hidden break in the wall fit so perfectly that we never would have seen it in the light. The only thing giving it away was a faint glow in the pitch blackness.
As Erik pushed the wall inward, more flickering gray light poured out.
Nicholae launched a few more white orbs to better illuminate our surroundings. The staircase continued to descend beyond view from the orbs. Nothing else about where we stood seemed at all remarkable.
The moving wall rumbled from stone sliding upon stone, and once Erik had displaced it a few feet, there was enough room on one side to walk around the hidden door and into the chamber beyond. Another tunnel extended ahead of us, but I could see the end of it, which was where the gray light came from. The orbs weren’t needed in here. The chamber a hundred paces ahead was quite well lit.
“I would have found this place if we’d kept our light,” Nicholae said as he approached the end of the tunnel.
“No, you wouldn’t have,” Erik replied. “After we found it the first time, I lit up the tunnel back there and scanned the walls. There was still nothing to see.”
“It still looked like this area was solid rock,” Cassandra added.
“So how did you find this place?” I asked.
“We heard a noise,” Erik said. “It sounded like someone was coming, so we extinguished our light and waited for a few moments. The noise disappeared, but as my eyes adjusted, I noticed the faint glow.”
“So you were standing really close to the door then.”
“Like I said, there was quite a bit of luck involved,” Cassandra said.
I entered the flickering chamber from right behind Cassandra and stepped out of her shadow to get a clear view of the vast space before us.
“Whoa, what is this place?” Logan asked. He didn’t speak loud, but his voice carried and echoed through the cavernous room.
We were standing on a stony shore with
a dark lake filling most of the ground cover. A small stone island floated near the middle of the lake. The ceiling must have been fifty feet high and a multitude of stalactites and stalagmites extended like prehistoric columns near the walls.
The light came from twinkling silver sparks that simultaneously rained down from the ceiling and ascended from the water. In several areas around the cavern, the sparks moved in a higher concentration, which looked like radiant columns of energy. The highest concentration of sparks flowed over the island. The chamber hummed and the hair all over my body seemed to rise from the energy radiating from this room.
“If this isn’t it, then I don’t know what is,” Erik said. “Have you ever seen anything like it?”
“No,” Nicholae replied. “The energy in this room is intoxicating.”
“I don’t feel so well,” Duncan or Gulliver said. I still didn’t know who was who. He dropped to one knee, seeming to be suddenly fighting for each breath.
“Me, neither,” the other of the two men said, dropping to his hands and knees, and then passing out entirely.
Yvette was still on her feet, but she had begun to sway.
I looked over at Logan. His skin was as shiny as the sparks over the lake. I grabbed him by the arm before he fell, and inched him to the ground.
“What’s happening?” he croaked, but before I could reply, he was out.
I gently laid his limp body down.
I felt a tingling throughout my entire body like currents of electricity pouring through all of my extremities, but I didn’t feel weak or faint. All who still remained conscious were Nicholae, Erik, Cassandra, and myself.
“What’s going on?” I demanded, gazing around at our half-collapsed group.
“Is this Kafka’s work?” Cassandra asked.
Nicholae was focused on the island, seemingly oblivious to the casualties befalling our group.
“I’m guessing the guardian’s out there,” Nicholae finally said. He turned and scanned the fallen bodies. “Only the Lornes remain. Coincidence?”
“But what does it mean?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” Nicholae turned back to the water. “He has to be out there.”
Doria Falls Page 21
