He took in a deep breath and held out his arm to Aurora. “Let’s see this deed done then.”
He felt like a condemned man walking the path to his own execution. He plastered on a smile he could never feel as they pushed their way through the curious members of the ton and wondered why God had allowed this to happen.
Was this His will? Did God have a purpose for his marrying Aurora? If so, Cameron prayed it would be revealed to him, for he needed to understand.
“I need to speak with the Northingshires to prepare them for the announcement,” he said as they walked the perimeter of the room. He finally spotted them, but his heart sank when he saw Claudia standing beside them.
“There they are,” Aurora said, pointing in their direction.
“Perhaps you’d better stand here and let me handle this alone,” Cameron said. He owed it to Claudia to give her an explanation before he made the announcement.
“Absolutely not!” Aurora cried softly, gripping his arm tighter. “You cannot leave me to bear their scrutiny alone. See how their judging eyes condemn me already?”
“Then you should have thought about this before you threw yourself at me,” he hissed and discreetly pulled her arms away from him. “Stay here against the wall, and I’ll be back in a moment.”
“But—,” he heard Aurora say. But he ignored her pleading tone as he made his way to where his friends stood.
North noticed him first. He felt a pang of remorse when he saw the duke tense and frown with marked censure. “North, I must speak with you—all of you,” he told them quickly, looking them each in the eye until he finally came to Claudia. “I especially need to explain what you saw out there on the terrace.”
Claudia narrowed her eyes at him. The hurt he’d seen earlier in her expression had now been replaced by anger. “Explain what? That I’m not the only girl you go about kissing?”
“Claude, I wasn’t kissing her. I—”
“Don’t call me Claude, you rogue!” she hissed.
“Kinclary, before you draw more attention to yourself, perhaps we’d better go somewhere private so you can tell me what you mean to do now,” North insisted in a soft but serious tone.
Nodding, he followed all three of them into a small room off the ballroom. Once they were closed inside he tried to get Claudia to look at him, but she stubbornly looked away. Finally Cameron pulled his gaze away from Claudia and looked at North. “I must announce that Aurora and I are to be wed,” he said bluntly. He heard Claudia gasp but forced himself to continue. “We must make it seem as though we’d planned to announce it all along. It’s the only way to keep scandal at bay.”
North nodded. “I agree. There were too many witnesses, and the news has spread quickly amongst our guests.”
“Wait a moment.” Claudia stepped closer. “You are going to marry Aurora because you were caught embracing her?”
Cameron sighed, wishing he did not have to put her through this pain. “Is it not the way of things in American society also? If I do not marry her, in time I could recover from it simply because I am a man and heir to an exalted title—but not before my family and sisters experienced the censure and judgment of the ton. Aurora, however, would suffer from the shame all her life and have little chance for marriage.” Cameron stared with pleading eyes at Claudia. “You know this must be done.”
The anger drained from Claudia’s face, leaving her pale. “If only someone had caught our kiss—,” she murmured, as if she couldn’t help speaking it.
“Yes,” he interrupted in a gruff voice. He would not let her finish the sentence for he couldn’t bear to think about it.
All of a sudden the door opened, and Aurora stepped inside. “Did you tell them our happy news?” she asked cheerfully, nudging her way between Claudia and him. Aurora was quick to grab hold of his arm and hug it to her in a familiar fashion. A gesture that did not go unnoticed by the Northingshires or Claudia.
“Aurora, please. You need not playact in front of my friends.”
He should have known Aurora would do as she pleased. With a pout she reached with her other hand to pat his arm. “Then they must realize we have known each other since childhood. No one can be surprised that our marriage is a natural progression of our long friendship.”
Shaking his head with frustration, Cameron got back to the point of his and North’s earlier conversation. “Shall we make the announcement now? The sooner the better, I think.”
They exited the room, and North got to it straightaway, quieting the orchestra and making the announcement. Aurora played her part to the hilt as the adoring fiancée clinging to his arm and gazing up into his eyes. Cameron remembered smiling and hoping it would convince the masses they had been planning this announcement all along.
And it worked. A few cast suspicious glances in their direction, but mostly everyone forgave their earlier imprudent display and accepted that two good English families were about to be united.
Claudia had her own part to play in the affair. She had to stand and smile, pretending she was happy with the announcement. For her to show anything else would cause the ton to speculate that he threw Claudia over for Aurora. They’d been seen together so much in public that there would still be speculation, but if she maintained they were only friends the matter would soon be forgotten.
He hated that she had to bear any sort of censure. She was innocent in all of this, and he blamed himself for not doing something to stop it.
If only he’d dealt with Aurora earlier. If only he’d never made that thoughtless promise to begin with.
If only—
“Dear God, please be with Claudia,” he whispered aloud as he watched her walk about the room with Helen at her side.
“What did you say?” Aurora asked, bringing his attention back to her.
He shook his head and let out a sigh. “I believe we should go and speak to your father,” he said instead of answering her question and began to walk toward the door.
They were in the process of collecting their coat, shawl, and hats when he turned once more to glance about the room.
Claudia must have sensed she was being watched, for her gaze connected with his across the brightly lit ballroom. But she only held it for a second before turning and walking in the opposite direction from him.
“Must we go, Cam? The prince regent will be insulted we left before he has even arrived,” Aurora complained with another one of her usual pouts.
“I suspect he will recover quickly,” Cameron said wearily, escorting her into the hallway and then out of the house.
Time seemed to be running faster than normal, for they arrived at her residence before he knew it. Lord Wyndham, a tall austere gentleman who rarely smiled, soon joined them in the room where they’d been waiting. He was dressed in his usual black suit of clothes, which made him seem even more remote and cold. Cameron remembered seeing him several times at Rosehaven Castle but could not recall ever holding a significant conversation with him.
He had no idea how the older man would react to the news.
“This is rather a late hour for a visit, Kinclary,” he stated after they’d bowed and exchanged polite greetings. Cameron saw the man’s gaze move to his daughter standing beside him. Suspicion was evident in his expression. “Aurora, am I to assume you arrived here with Kinclary? Alone?”
Cameron glanced at Aurora and saw she was nervously wringing her hands. “Y–yes. We. . .uh. . .he took me home from the Northingshire ball, Papa,” she stammered.
“I shall get right to the point of this visit, my lord. Aurora and I were. . .conversing on the terrace and were caught in a compromising position that was witnessed by several guests,” he explained, oversimplifying the scene.
Wyndham’s whole demeanor changed into something dark and foreboding. “And what sort of compromising position w
as it?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Just a simple embrace, Papa. That was all,” Aurora answered in an innocent tone.
But Cameron knew the particulars of what happened would get around to him sooner or later, and he would rather not have his future father-in-law think he was a deceiver. “A kiss was involved as well,” he added.
From the corner of his eye he saw Aurora glare up at him.
“I see,” Lord Wyndham said in a low voice. By the way he narrowed his gaze at them both, Cameron had an inkling he saw much more than was actually the truth. “And if you were not caught? Would you mean to misuse my daughter, my lord, and not do right by her?”
The moment seemed so otherworldly that Cameron felt as though he were watching the whole scene as an audience watched a play. Had he ever imagined he would be put in such a position? He had not.
“Of course not, my lord. I can state truthfully that I have never touched your daughter in an untoward fashion and have always treated her with respect,” Cameron said.
“Until tonight,” Wyndham reminded him with a flat tone.
Cameron glanced again at Aurora, but she avoided his eyes. What did I expect, he wondered, that she’d speak up and tell the truth of the whole matter? “Yes, until tonight,” he answered.
The muscle in Lord Wyndham’s jaw jerked about as if he were trying to hold on to his anger. “And now what is to be done?” Wyndham drew his words out slowly, much like a judge sentencing a man to his doom.
“I’ve come to make an offer. . .to marry your daughter,” Cameron said, almost choking on those last words.
“And I would expect no less.” Wyndham said no more for a moment but continued to study them both.
Cameron fought the urge to reach up and loosen his cravat so that he could breath easier.
“Come back this week, and we will settle the arrangements. I hope you will not expect a large dowry from Aurora, for I am only able to give her twenty pounds a year.”
Cameron nodded to the older man. “That will be fine, my lord.”
“Good night,” he said with finality as he turned stiffly and walked toward the door. “Aurora?” he called without turning.
Aurora sent Cameron an apologetic look, then ran after him, leaving Cameron alone in the room.
He stood there for a few minutes, trying to reason how all of this could have happened and how he could have prevented it.
But it was a waste of time and energy. The facts were the facts. He would be marrying a woman who did not share his beliefs in God nor his passion for ministry and helping the poor.
Why had God allowed this? Cameron wondered for the umpteenth time that night. Was this what He wanted for him? If only Cameron knew the reason, he could live with himself a little better.
As it was, he blamed himself for making the promise that started this whole affair. If he had not, it would be he and Claudia who would be celebrating their engagement on this night.
Now he must squelch the love he felt for her and remind himself every day that she could only be his friend.
And even that may not be possible.
Fifteen
“Claudia, are you sure you want to go to the shelter today?” Helen sat in the backseat of their carriage with Claudia as North drove them to the waterfront. “I can teach your class if this is what troubles you.”
Claudia had almost sent a note to Helen asking her that very thing, but something inside would not let her do it. She did not volunteer her time at the shelter just to spend time with Cameron. This was the work God had led her to, and she would not shirk her responsibilities because of a broken heart.
And, too, there was her grandfather Canterbury. She didn’t want him to think all her efforts to get to know him were only a ploy to be near his employer.
No. Going to the shelter was the only way to pick up the pieces of her life and move on. It would be hard to be around Cameron knowing he belonged to someone else now, but she was strong.
God had a purpose in all of this, of that she was sure. She would have to depend on Him to show her His will and the next step she should take in life.
“I have to do this, Helen. Those children depend on me, and I think I need them also. Life goes on, and I will be more productive if I get out there and work,” she told her friend kindly.
Helen sighed and searched Claudia’s face. “I’m just worried about your seeing Cameron. You both love each other so—”
“Helen! Please don’t keep reminding me,” she pleaded, gently holding on to her arm.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she cried, covering Claudia’s hand. “I’m terrible at knowing the right thing to say.”
Claudia smiled at her. “You both being here with me and supporting me is enough.”
But her brave words faded away the moment she stepped into the shelter and saw Cameron holding one of the children.
An awkward moment passed between them, but one that was smoothed over by William, the child in Cameron’s arms. The little boy held out his finger, which was wrapped with a bulky bandage, and said, “Lord Kinclary made my finger better, miss.”
Everyone laughed, and Claudia walked up to take the child from him. Cameron smiled down at her, and she was able to return it with little effort.
Turning her attention to the boy’s finger, she said, “That is quite a large bandage, William. Is it holding your finger together?”
Cameron scratched his head and smiled sheepishly. “It’s actually a small scratch, but it’s the best I could do.”
Claudia shook her head at him and started to take the child to the classroom when Cameron stopped her with his words.
“I didn’t think you’d come back.”
She closed her eyes briefly, praying for strength. Turning back to him, she countered, “I’ll leave. . .if you prefer it.”
His eyes widened. “No! I mean, of course I want you to stay. You have a heart for these people and this work as much as I do. My. . .situation. . .doesn’t change this.” He stumbled over his last sentence.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Then I’ll be happy to continue on.” William began to wiggle about in her arms, so she set him down and watched him run toward the class.
“Excellent,” he replied, bringing Claudia’s attention back to him. “I want you to know the truth about the embrace you saw last night,” he said next.
Claudia felt a panic rise within her. Perhaps it was wrong of her, but she could not discuss Aurora with him. “No, please, Cameron. It doesn’t matter,” she told him firmly as she turned away.
“She threw herself into my arms in a fit of emotion because I refused to marry her,” he said quickly.
Claudia stopped and turned back to him. “What?”
Cameron took a breath then told her about Aurora’s dilemma of needing to find a husband and the promise he’d made to marry her if she could not find someone within the month. “She came to my home last night before the ball. She told me I must honor my promise to marry her since her father had threatened to marry her to Lord Carmichael.”
Claudia’s eyes widened as a picture of the old, toothless nobleman filled her mind. “He would have her marry such an old man?”
Cameron shook his head. “This is what she told me; yet when I spoke to her father last night, he never mentioned Lord Carmichael. Perhaps it was an empty threat to make Aurora choose a husband.”
“And she chose you?” she asked although she knew the answer in her heart. It was clear last night how Aurora felt about him.
“She will not admit it, but I think she wanted me to marry her all along.” Cameron ran his hand through his hair and sighed wearily. “I cannot help but share some responsibility for her feelings. I spent time with her and took her to balls when I came home on holidays, believing we were only friends. She a
pparently felt more.”
Claudia, as much as she loathed admitting it, could see how Aurora could love him although her feelings were not reciprocated. Cameron was unlike any man she had ever known. “And you told her you would honor your promise to her?” she asked, getting back to his story.
“No!” Cameron exclaimed, lifting his hands out to his sides. “I told her I had made that promise hastily and without thought. Though she may have thought me dishonorable, I was not going to let one promise, made in haste, ruin my life. In truth I knew Aurora could probably find a way out of the situation with her father.” He stopped and looked at her with sadness. “There was also another reason why I broke my promise to her. But it will do us both no good to speak of it.”
Claudia looked away from him and willed herself not to cry. She had done enough of that the night before. “No, it won’t,” she said faintly. Curiosity gave her enough fortitude to bring her gaze back to him. “And last night? On the terrace?”
“I was waiting for you when she suddenly walked out onto the terrace. She was crying and begging me to uphold my promise to her. I was trying to tell her I would not change my mind when she suddenly launched herself into my arms.” His face became grim. “Then you and your friends walked out at that moment. Even then it might have been all right, but when Helen called out my name—”
“It brought out half our guests to witness your embrace,” Claudia finished for him.
“It was not an embrace on my part. I had to put my arms around her to stop her from knocking us both down to the stone floor when she kissed me.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground then finally back to Claudia. “In doing so I sealed my fate forever.”
“Oh, Cameron,” she cried softly. “Why has this happened? I was so sure God had a different plan for me—for us.”
“So did I,” he agreed, his voice rough with emotion.
They stared at one another for a long moment, and Claudia knew what she must say next. But it was so difficult to do. “What’s done is done. We must believe God has everything in control, and it is according to His will this has happened. I shall pray for both you and Aurora.”
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