“I love you, Mrs. Samuels.”
I smiled and whispered, “I love you too.”
I got up, showered, and threw on a cute white robe Jeremy had bought me at Victoria’s Secrets then went down the hall into the kitchen and started the bacon. By the time I was scrambling eggs, Jeremy entered the kitchen.
“I brought the fellowship.” He held up the bible and Our Daily Bread in his hand.
“Oh good,” I replied as I poured eggs onto a plate. After the thoughts I was having this morning, bible scriptures were exactly what I needed. I had every intention of being a good and faithful wife no matter what obstacles came our way.
We sat down, said grace, and started eating our food. Fellowship was always saved for the end of our meal.
“Baby, we need to finish clearing out my house today so I can have it cleaned before the open house next Saturday.”
“We’ll get it done,” he reassured me.
“I hope so,” I said with a sigh and then reached for my coffee. “I didn’t realize just how much crap I had until I started moving everything over here.”
“How long have you been in that place?” he asked between chews.
I took another sip of my coffee while I tried to remember. “Wow! I think almost five years. I was planning on buying a bigger house this fall but I guess that wasn’t in God’s plan,” I said with a sigh and a smirk. “I’m just excited about the life ahead for us in Hawaii.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled and then I noticed the way Jeremy’s eyes shifted down to his plate.
“What’s wrong?” I asked and had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say.
“Angel, I don’t know how to tell you this but… we won’t be going to Hawaii.”
“What?” There was no way I had heard him right. But his eyes were shifting everywhere but at me and I knew what he said had to be true. “Why aren’t we going?”
“Political bull crap. Someone internal applied for the administrator position and when I got it he filed an appeal. Apparently it was reviewed by personnel and he was awarded the position.”
I’d worked in human resources long enough to understand the appeals process. I didn’t like it but who in their right mind would fight federal regulations? “And what happens with you?”
“I have been encouraged to apply for other positions within the Department of Transportation.” He shrugged. “Well, at least I still have my current job.”
I suddenly lost my appetite. There was no way in hell this was happening. I had been looking forward to moving away and starting a new life with my husband.
“Are you mad that we’re not going?”
My eyes shifted to him. “Of course I’m mad but there’s nothing we can do about it now, is there?” I rose and carried my plate over to the trash and scraped it then moved to the sink and started washing dishes.
“I knew you were going to be mad!”
I swung around so fast I noticed Jeremy flinch. “Of course I’m mad. I thought we were moving to Hawaii in a few weeks!”
Now he was shaking his head with this look of disbelief. “That’s the only reason why you married me.”
No, that wasn’t completely true. But maybe just a little. “I married you because I love you. But I’m not gonna lie, if I had known you weren’t going anywhere then I wouldn’t have rushed to marry you.”
“So then it is the only reason why.” He was actually whining like a big ass baby.
“Call it whatever you want. I just said I was still going to marry you I just would have waited until the spring.” I swung around and started washing dishes. Jeremy got all quiet while he finished eating his food. Let him pout! I don’t care.
I continued washing dishes and didn’t bother to turn around as I said, “What you fail to understand is this isn’t just about you. I’ve been busting my ass, trying to pack up my house and move over here. And let’s not forget that I initiated a transfer with my National Guard unit. Hell, I even turned in my resignation for my full-time job! So, like I said… this isn’t just about you Jeremy.” I could just see going back to work on Monday and telling my boss I wasn’t leaving and asking for my job back. I already hated his ass enough as it was.
“Angel, I’m sorry. What is it that you want me to do?” There was a sadness in his voice that made me put the plate down and return to my seat.
“Nothing.” I blew out a breath. “I know it’s not your fault you didn’t get the position.”
Jeremy nodded then looked up at me and I could tell whatever he was about to say was difficult. “Does that mean you want a divorce?”
My eyes widened. “Divorce? Of course not!” I reached over and took his hand and noticed he’d been biting his fingernails again. “I married you Jeremy Lee Samuels because I love you and for no other reason.”
“You’re sure?” There was that insecurity again.
“I’m positive.” Leaning forward, I kissed his lips. And finally the light returned to his eyes. “But if we’re going be staying in Missouri then we definitely need to either move into my house or find a bigger place.”
“Anything you want Angel,” he replied, then rose and carried his plate to the sink. As he turned I noticed a weird smirk on Jeremy’s face and I couldn’t help but wonder if we were ever really moving to Hawaii.
40
JANELLE
Kaleb was crazy in so many ways. He was selfish and controlling and had absolutely no respect for me or our relationship yet I thought about him all damn day.
I couldn’t understand it and was starting to think that maybe I needed to see a shrink. Because no one should have that much control over you. Maybe that’s what made him such a master manipulator. And then there were the daily texts from him, expressing his love and asking for a second chance. According to the three dozen voice messages, he had learned his lesson and was going to be good to me from now on. Every time I heard his voice, I felt myself softening up to him, especially when I heard his son in the background.
Speaking of CJ….
He had called my phone to ask if I could take him to see his therapist because Kaleb was in a meeting. Lord knows I wanted to say no but I knew someone had to take the poor kid, otherwise, he would stop getting help. I don’t know why I felt like I needed to save those two. They weren’t my problem. But yet I felt somewhat responsible.
I left the restaurant around two and drove over to West Junior High.
“Hey,” CJ said and climbed into my car.
“Hey you,” I said, reached over and squeezed his hand. “How was school?”
“Fine.”
“Good.” And then the conversation ended. Even though I knew it annoyed him, I turned up the music and sang along with Beyoncé. Anything was better than the awkward moment. That feeling of sorrow was back and I just couldn’t shake it no matter how loud I sang.
I parked the car then walked inside with him and took a seat in the waiting room. CJ started rocking on the seat. I blew out a long breath then started surfing the net on my cellphone.
“Are you coming back home?”
I looked up and noticed that the others sitting in the waiting room were looking at me out the corners of their eyes. “I’m not sure,” I said low enough so that everyone wasn’t in our business.
“How come?” he whined.
“Because your dad and I are having problems. But what’s going on between me and your father has nothing to do with you.” I felt compelled to say that because it wasn’t CJ’s fault his dad was crazy, although it was his father’s fault that CJ was.
“Christopher Kerrington!”
He rose and looked like he had been called to the principal’s office. I blew out a long breath. His father should be here with him. Not me.
CJ was walking out the waiting room when he stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Ms. Jae, are you gonna be here when I get back?”
As much as I didn’t want to, I nodded. “I’ll be right here.”
Wit
h a nod, he followed the nurse back to the therapist’s office. I crossed my legs and shifted through my emails while I waited. Of course Kaleb showed up while I was texting. He glared down at my phone but I ignored him and finished my message before I acknowledged him.
“CJ’s been in there for about fifteen minutes,” I commented with a phony smile.
He nodded and looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it. Good decision. Kaleb was standing there looking fine as ever in navy blue slacks, a striped shirt, burgundy tie, and designer wingtip shoes. It was a shame the mothafucka was crazy.
“I’m going back. You gonna still be here when he gets out?”
I nodded. “Yes. I promised CJ I’d wait.”
He bobbed his head again then walked on back.
I sat there thinking how dysfunctional the three of us would be as a family. And I thought the Foxes were a hot mess.
I was playing Words with Friends when Kaleb came out looking more upset than when he walked in.
“Where’s CJ?”
He pointed toward the rear. “He’ll be out in a minute. But before he does I wanted to tell you what he said in his session today.”
Finally, a breakthrough! I was all ears. I followed him outside the building and around to the side. The entire time I was dying of anticipation. “Okay, so what’s up?” I asked.
Kaleb’s gaze met me head-on. “He told his therapist when I’m not at home, you mistreat him.”
There was no way in hell I was hearing him right. “Excuse me?”
He shrugged. “Don’t get mad I’m just telling you what he had said.”
“You know that isn’t true.” I searched his eyes to see if Kaleb believed me but his expression was hard to read.
He glanced over his shoulder as if he was concerned CJ might show up at any moment. “He told her when I’m not around you call him stupid and talk about him.”
I can’t even begin to tell you how much that pissed me off. Everything I tried to do for that kid, clothes, toys, allowances, and this is the way he treated me!
I sucked my teeth and replied as politely as I could manage. “And what did you say?”
He hesitated. “I told the counselor that didn’t sound like you but I would talk to you about it.”
“Doesn’t sound like me?” I was appalled. Thank goodness no one else was standing outside but us. “You should have told them, hell no! You know I wouldn’t do that.” I didn’t like kids, but I have never mistreated one in my life. I didn’t appreciate that.
“Why are you getting all upset?” he snarled toward me.
I couldn’t take it any longer. “Really? Your son has the therapist thinking I’m beating him when you’re not around!”
“Okay, then we’ll fix it when we get home.” He tossed his hands in the air like it was that simple. I just stood there sulking and didn’t respond.
“Are you fucking serious? Now you mad! Jae, it’s not always about you. My son has an issue with lying and we’ll take care of it.” He shook his head as if I was the one being ridiculous. “You’re so damn worried about what other people think about you.”
“Hell yeah I care what other people think, especially when I didn’t even wanna be bothered with somebody else’s kid in the first place!”
“Oh, so you’re saying my son is a bother?” He now had a nasty scowl on his face.
“I’m saying this is what I get for doing something I shouldna been doing in the first damn place.”
“So what are you saying? Huh Jae? You ready to end this?” He was definitely agitated.
“See that’s the problem with you. Every single argument ends with splitting up. And I’m sick of it!”
“I don’t care about what you’re sick of,” he mumbled. “You didn’t wanna be with me and my son in the first damn place.”
“Then why the hell am I here? It wasn’t like you put a gun to my head or had something that I wanted.” I lied. “Hell no! I’m with you because I want to be with you not because I have to be, but you’re too stupid to see that.”
“So what do you wanna do, Jae?” He was edging me on.
I swallowed and watched my chances of getting my hands on all that money go up in smoke. “I’m saying… It’s time for me to get off this roller coaster ride.”
Kaleb suddenly looked like a crazed lunatic. “Then go tell CJ that!” He pointed toward the door. “Tell him you don’t wanna be with us anymore!”
“Whatever. You fucking tell him!” I hissed. “I told you about always getting him involved in what’s going on between us. That’s why the kid is fucked up in the head.”
“Okay, now you’re talking about my son!”
I pointed a finger in his face. “Face it. The boy has problems. He’s thirteen and walks around carrying little men in his pocket!”
Kaleb shook his head and stuffed his hands in his own pockets like he was afraid he might do something else. Good decision. “Yeah you’re right. It’s time for us to go our separate ways,” he muttered.
I don’t know why but I started laughing like a crazy woman. Maybe because I was so fucking mad, my head was spinning. “Well about damn time! I’m glad we can finally agree on something!” I tossed my hand over my head and stormed across the parking lot to my car.
41
NYREE
I got up on Saturday and spent the better part of the morning paying bills. Jeremy and I had finally opened joint accounts and I was staring down at the checks with both of our names on them, grinning.
Last week we had sat down and put together a monthly budget and then determined just how much we needed to deposit in both our checking and savings. I loved the way my husband and I were able to work together as a team. One of the fellowship books we had studied talked about finances and marriage, and we followed the guide inside to the letter. According to the book, money, sex and kids were the three main reasons for divorce. I didn’t want any to be a problem in our marriage.
As soon as I paid the last bill online, I walked into the living room where Jeremy was sitting on the couch, watching a baseball game and lowered beside him.
“Baby, you wanna start moving stuff back into my house today?” Once I discovered we weren’t moving to Hawaii, I had taken my house off the market.
“Sure, Angel, whatever you want to do.” I loved the way he was always so agreeable. It made being married to him so easy.
“I was thinking… after we get the house situated, how about we go down and pick up Jasmine and let her stay with us for a week. I’m sure Mama wouldn’t mind watching her while we’re at work?” Instead of answering, Jeremy started biting his nails and then went back to watching television. “Baby did you hear me?”
He sighed. “Yes, I heard you. I’ll have to ask her mother and see what she says.”
“What she says?” I mocked with an incredulous look. “Adopted or not, that’s your daughter.”
Jeremy shook his head and I could see he was trying to keep his temper in check. “Yeah that’s what I thought but apparently that isn’t the case.”
I gave a rude snort. “Mia doesn’t have a problem cashing that child support check from you every month.” I write the checks and the amount he was paying was enough to make his rent payment.
“That’s because it’s always been about the money with Mia.”
“Well I want to spend time getting to know my stepdaughter.” I figured I had a better chance of making an impression in the younger child’s life than I did the older ones. Teenagers were usually already set in their ways. I was disappointed we never got to spend any time with his other children during the summer. They either had summer jobs or were involved in sports. Personally, I think those were just excuses. “Call her.”
Jeremy took a deep breath and nodded like a little boy. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll call her during the next commercial break.”
During the break, I went and made some nachos while he grabbed his phone and went into the other room to call. I didn’t
trip because I knew he needed his privacy and, personally, I didn’t want to hear what the two of them had to talk about.
Jeremy was coming from the bedroom by the time I was walking into the living room. “What did she say?”
Jeremy grinned. “She said I can have her for two weeks.”
“Cool.”
I could tell there was something else he wanted to say, but I waited until we were curled back up on the couch together to see if he’d share what was on his mind.
“I wanna talk about something.” See, I knew it.
I rested my head on his chest and said, “Sure, what’s up?”
There was hesitation which is never a good sign. “Jasmine has a friend… a little playmate.”
“Uh-huh.” I had no idea where this was going.
“Mia’s been raising her for years.” Okay, now he was procrastinating. It was probably a good idea to urge him to get straight to the point but I had one question first.
I raised up so he could see me. “Where’s her mother?”
Jeremy frowned. “Around… sometimes, but she doesn’t like being around her.”
What kinda woman doesn’t like being around her own child unless… “Was her mother raped or something?”
He swallowed and then slowly wagged his head. “Mia’s never said but I think she was. Anyway, ummm, the girls are always together and she wants to know if Caitlyn could come to?”
What the fuck? I already had five stepchildren. Now I had to be a stepmother to another. “Hell no.”
“No?” Don’t you know my husband had the nerve to look offended?
“No. I want a chance to get to know Jazzy, not babysit. Mia ain’t dumping her excess baggage off on us!”
Apparently Jeremy didn’t get it because he clearly looked confused. “What difference does it make? She’ll be good company for Jazz.”
“It makes a big difference!” Clearly he wasn’t hearing me. “The way you’re acting you must have already told Mia it’s okay.”
He sat there looking like he’d been scolded again.
“Dammit Jeremy! I wanna spend a week getting to know my new daughter. That’s it. Nobody else. So you make sure you call her back.”
Talk a Good Game Page 27
