by Jacqui Penn
Julie watched as Dave went to the bar. He was right. A baby was something special. She did have people around her. Oh my God! Her Mum! Colleagues! Aunt Sue! They’d all have to be told. Maybe she’d wait a while and get used to the idea herself before she told anyone else. She had months before she had to break the news.
Julie sat in Paul’s front room. He had cooked a chicken curry and made good use of the vodka while she, as usual these days, stuck to fruit juice.
‘I am going to have to start telling people soon. I can’t put it off much longer; I’m dreading it.’
‘No darling! Relish in it. Stand up and be proud. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks?’
‘When you put it like that, it doesn’t sound quite so daunting,’ Julie chortled. Paul always knew the right thing to say.
‘Get on to it and get it done! What’s the worst they can say? Congratulations, so you’re not a virgin? Or how about, do you know who the father is?’ He laughed at his own humour and clutched his knees.
‘Actually no! I thought I did!’
‘That’s it, go Julie, go Julie.’ He swung his arms in time to the rhythm. ‘That’s more like it! See, you’ll walk it, no problem. I think you need to set yourself a time limit, say two days to get it over with.’
‘Two days! I can’t do that!’
‘Yes you can. Then I’ll come to yours and we can bitch about what they said.’
The thought of telling people freaked her out, but Paul was right. Going for it was probably best!
The following evening Fran, one of Julie’s work colleagues rang. ‘Hello Julie. It’s Fran. I feel awful asking, but is there any chance you could put me up for a night? I don’t want to be any trouble.’
‘Oh, Fran. Are you okay? Yes of course you can stay. It’s no trouble at all. See you soon.’ Blimey! What had happened? Fran had always been so stable. Never expected her to have a problem at home. Julie went up to the spare room. The bed was still made up from when Simon had moved in. He’d never slept in it. She raised her eyebrows and pulled the covers off. She’d give Fran a fresh set.
Fran arrived on Julie’s doorstep looking distraught. ‘Come in. I’ll make us a drink,’ Julie offered, ignoring Fran’s red, bloodshot eyes. They sat in the front room with the television off. Fran sat with her hand on her head. ‘Can I get you something? Do you have a headache?’ Julie asked.
‘Yes, it’s throbbing. Thanks.’ A minute later Julie returned from the bathroom. Fran took the proffered pill and water and they sat in silence for a few moments.
‘Have you eaten?’ Julie asked. ‘I can make you something.’
‘No thanks. I couldn’t eat a thing. My stomach is churning. Thanks for letting me stay tonight, I didn’t know where to go. Oh Julie, I’ve made such a mess of everything.’
‘I’m sure it can’t be that bad. We all do odd things now and then.’
‘I’ve left Ted and...’ Tears came to her eyes as she tried to blink them back and compose herself. ‘You have a man now, don’t you?’
‘No, he finished with me and left a surprise package behind.’
‘What do you mean? Oh, you’re not—’
‘Yes, and you’re the first to know. Well, at school anyway.’
Fran smiled. ‘Oh Julie, that’s lovely. A baby. Congratulations.’
Julie smiled back. Until now the pregnancy had been a worry. Fran’s attitude lifted her spirits. ‘Thanks.’
Before she went to work the next morning, Julie rang her mother.
‘I knew it! I said to Dad, she’s having a baby, I know she is. Well of course he pooh-poohed the idea, said I was being ridiculous and anyway you’d need a man first. You wait, you’ll see, I told him and well I was right this time, wasn’t I?’ She stopped for a breath and Julie jumped in before she got a second wind.
‘Mum, I have to rush, I’ll be late for work. Call you later.’
‘Okay dear. Make sure you’re eating properly. I’ll talk to you about it when you call back.’
‘Okay Mum, must dash.’
One down, not too bad. She already knew. How bizarre was that? That word! He’d even got her using it. Now to break the news at work. She’d be best to tell Sheila first, being head teacher she would expect the courtesy, and then she’d break the news to the rest of her colleagues. Scary!
At first break, Sheila’s door stood ajar. Julie gave a gentle tap hoping Sheila wouldn’t be in there.
‘Yes, come in,’ Sheila called. ‘Hello Julie, what can I do for you?’
‘I thought I’d come and... I have something to say... I...’
Sheila sat at her desk with her pen poised. ‘Sit down Julie. Shall I help you out? You’re pregnant.’
‘You know? My mum knew!’
‘There’s not much that gets past us oldies. You can’t keep that sort of secret for long.’
‘But how?’
‘Call it intuition. Anyway, how do you feel about it? Do sit down.’
Julie sat. ‘I think I’m alright. It’s come as a bit of a shock.’
‘And your partner?’
‘He left me!’
‘Oh, Julie.’ Sheila’s eyes widened. ‘Well, not to worry, these things are sent to try us. You’ll manage, just like many before you. I blame that book, giving you fancy ideas about men. They’re not what they’re made out to be. Far from it, and I should know.’
Julie nodded not sure what to say. Oh my God! Sheila knew about the book. ‘I thought I should tell you before everyone else.’
‘Thank you for your consideration. I don’t think a lot of them will be surprised.’
Julie left Sheila a few minutes later not sure if it had gone well or not. So far neither Sheila nor her Mum had commented on her situation. They had taken it in their stride. Julie had been expecting more excitement. Did they all know?
It came as no surprise to anyone. They had all gossiped when she had morning sickness and guessed the reason. Julie’s look of surprise brought rapturous laughter. She felt quite indignant. Didn’t they realise she’d had sleepless nights about telling them all?
‘How boring is that?’ Paul said, two days later when he’d hoped for a scandalous natter. ‘Exactly the same as when I came out. They all knew! Well, I wish they’d told me. I was the last to know! Bastards!’ He wiped his brow and crossed his legs. ‘Well, if we haven’t got that to talk about I’d better tell you about my man.’
‘Your man? Tell me!’ She felt a need to change the subject. The baby was all she’d thought about lately.
‘I went for a drink in The Red Lion last night and I ended up having a game of pool. Turns out Carl used to be heterosexual, I think I changed his mind when I found his E-spot.’
‘La, la, la,’ Julie sang with her fingers in her ears. ‘I don’t want to know, too much information.’
‘I found at least one of them. Thought I’d better search them out one at a time. Don’t want to frighten him off. I started having a dabble with—’
‘No! I don’t want to know. I’d go home if you weren’t in my house.’
‘Fill me up darling,’ he said passing her his empty glass. ‘I’m seeing him again on Friday. Thank God I shagged, I began to think it wasn’t ever going to happen again.’
‘I never want to shag again – ever. I don’t suppose I’ll have much opportunity, it was hard enough to get one before.’ Julie looked serious.
Paul laughed. ‘Yes, twelve years of trying was a bit excessive darling. Still, you’re never going to forget it.’
‘Thanks. No, I won’t.’ She smiled and broke into song. ‘Da, dah, da, da, something there to remind me. How does that song go?’
‘Oh God please!’ Paul covered his ears.
Julie had her first scan. She lie on the bed as the nurse smeared on the gel and ran the scanner over her stomach. Julie stared at the screen and couldn’t make out which bit was the baby. Maybe there had been a mistake. The test could have been wrong. Her stomach had swollen a bit, but then she’d been ea
ting well lately.
‘I need to pop out for a moment,’ the nurse said, smiling at her.
‘You can’t see anything can you? I knew there was no baby.’
‘Back in a moment.’
Julie stared at the ceiling with her stomach still exposed. The nurse would have to get a second opinion before she could tell a patient she wasn’t pregnant after all. Some people would be really upset. How would Julie feel? Relieved she supposed. A twinge of loss, but she’d get over it. Next time she’d be a lot more careful she was properly protected before she slept with anyone. I’ll pull it out! Incompetent idiot, or maybe he never had that intention. Bastard!
The nurse pushed the door open making Julie jump. Sure enough a doctor followed her into the room.
‘Don’t worry about telling me if there’s nothing there. I always doubted I was pregnant.’ She felt elated. A weight had lifted.
The nurse spread some more cold gel on Julie’s stomach and the doctor stared at the monitor as he moved the scanner head.
‘Mrs...’ he looked at the notes next to him. ‘Miss Webster. Can you see this movement?’ He pointed to an area on the screen which constantly pulsated.
‘Yes, I can.’
‘That’s a heartbeat.’
‘Oh! Oh right. The baby’s heartbeat?’
‘Yes, that’s right. Now can you see this?’ He pointed to another part of the screen.
‘Yes.’
‘That’s a second heartbeat.’
‘I don’t understand. Do you mean something’s wrong?’
‘Not anything wrong, but you are in for double trouble. It’s twins!’
‘Twins! No, not two! Twins, I don’t believe it!’ Julie felt breathless. ‘Is that definite?’
‘Yes. Congratulations.’ He smiled at her as though he’d just given her a Christmas present.
Julie climbed off the couch as the doctor left the room. ‘I’d only just got used to the idea of one. I really thought I wasn’t pregnant when you went out of the room. I knew something was wrong.’
‘I know. You did seem blasé. You’ll have a complete family in one hit.’ The nurse busied herself putting new paper onto the bed as Julie dressed.
‘Thanks,’ Julie said. She was in a daze. Twins! Once outside the clinic, she rang her mum.
‘Mum, it’s me.’
‘Hello love. Was your scan okay?’
‘It’s twins!’ She waited for a response. A few seconds later her mum shouted.
‘Alex, it’s twins! Our Julie’s having twins!’ Julie heard her dad shout something back. ‘She just had her scan.’ Her dad spoke again. ‘No, I don’t think so. Hold on, I’ll ask her. Julie, your dad wants to know are they girls or boys?’
‘I don’t know,’ Julie said curtly.
‘She doesn’t know.’ Her dad’s voice sounded again.
‘Mum, I have to get back to work.’
‘Righto dear. Ring me later.’
‘Okay.’ Julie shook her head. Her mum was so off the wall, how had Julie turned out to be so level headed? She rang Paul. For once he answered on the first ring.
‘Aren’t you at work? I expected the answer phone.’
‘I’m in bed, suffering. I think I must have man flu.’ He sounded lousy.
‘Poor you. I’ll pop in later.’
‘No, you might catch it. We have got tiny toes to think of.’ The pet name had stuck.
‘Tiny toes and co!’
‘What do you mean?’
‘There are two of them. It’s twins!’
‘No!’ Paul brightened up. ‘Bizarre! Twins. Oh my God! Twins!’
‘You sound better. I’ll come around later.’
Julie went to work and broke the news at morning break. It evoked an excited response in the staff room.
‘Two of the same would be better.’
‘You don’t want one of each. Too many clothes and different toys when they’re older.’
‘Boys would be nice. Two boys.’
‘No, girls are easier. Well until they reach puberty of course and then God help you.’
Julie sat bemused by their speculation. As far as she was concerned, the two of them had already made up their minds and it didn’t matter what she thought. They were already one or the other.
They, sounded nice. How would she cope with two? A scary thought, but somehow exciting. A little family all of her own.
That evening, Dave rang to see how her scan had gone. ‘You sound on top of the world.’
‘I am. I think I’ve finally stopped worrying. I don’t understand why. I’m having two babies.’
‘Two? Twins? How lovely!’
‘Yes, a complete family, all in one.’
‘Shall we go and celebrate? There’s a little bistro I’ve heard about. Wouldn’t mind giving it a try.’
‘Wonderful.’ Going out for meals with Dave was one of her favourite pastimes.
The following evening they sat in the window of the quaint little restaurant. A candle flickered in between them. They had ordered their meals and sat chatting over a drink.
‘So, twins. You are lucky, Julie.’
‘I feel it. I don’t understand why. Somehow the thought of twins has had a weird effect on me.’
‘Yes, I know what you mean. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since you told me. Nature is wonderful. Have you thought through the practicalities of it all yet?’
‘What do you mean? Work?’
‘Yes, it’s not going to be so easy with two.’
‘I suppose not. It’s too soon; I haven’t really given it any thought. Oh Dave, I’m so happy in a scared sort of way.’
‘Good for you. You deserve to be happy. You’re one of the good ones, Julie. Those babies don’t know how lucky they are.’
As she tucked into her strawberry trifle, Dave made her choke. ‘Julie, I have a proposition for you. This is something for you to think about. How do you feel about us being more than friends?’
‘You mean start a relationship?’ She scraped off a speck of trifle which had landed on her top when she coughed.
‘Yes, we get on so well and you mean so much to me. I’d like us to give it a go.’
‘Dave, you’re full of surprises.’ She looked at his smiling, kindly face. Could she be more than friends with him? ‘What if it didn’t work? We might lose our friendship.’
‘No, that’s not possible. We’d have a written contract.’
‘Oh no, you’re not Mr Grey in disguise, are you?’
‘Who’s Mr Grey?’
‘A book I read, Fifty Shades of Grey. He had an agreement that had to be signed before they had sex. In fact, it’s partly due to Mr Grey I went to Speed Dating.’
‘Oh, so I have Mr Grey to thank for meeting you.’
‘Sort of.’ She sighed. Only a few months ago she’d read the 50 Shades book and yearned so desperately for a man. How things change. She looked at Dave and was thoughtful for a minute. ‘I think I’d like to give it a go. We’re adult enough not to let it go too far if it doesn’t work.’
‘And hopefully adult enough to take it further if it does work, that’s what I think we should work towards.’
‘What do you mean, Dave?’
‘I’d like to marry you, but I’m not asking you yet. We’ll see how things go.’
Julie gulped. How did that happen? Marriage! Had this week got any more surprises in store? She doubted that very much.
Chapter 5
Julie and Dave had dated for a couple of months before he asked her to marry him. There wasn’t much of a difference in their relationship except they now held hands and kissed on the lips.
‘I thought you were waiting to see how things went.’ Julie said, stunned the proposal had come so soon. She had expected to be asked after the twins were born. ‘Do I have to give you an answer now?’
‘No. Of course not. It’s an important decision. I just feel it’s right. Well, for me anyway.’ He looked hurt she didn’t feel the same.
‘You know I love you, Julie?’
‘Yes Dave, I do know.’ Julie mulled over Dave’s proposal for a month. She’d written a list of reasons, for and against marrying Dave, which came out equal. Not helpful. Did she love him? Did she want to wake up with him every morning? She had no idea.
Paul, as usual, didn’t help. ‘Well do you want to marry him darling?’
‘I don’t know, and if I did know, I wouldn’t be asking for your opinion.’ Lately she’d found him frustrating. Why couldn’t he come out with some constructive help for once? Even constructive criticism would have been helpful and given her something to think about. They were in The White Horse having a couple of drinks.
‘No, I suppose not.’ He looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘Well you could go for it and then get a divorce if it doesn’t work.’
‘Is that the full extent of your advice?’
‘Excuse me,’ he said, in an exaggerated camp voice. ‘How am I supposed to give advice on a heterosexual marriage? You know how you feel, no one can decide for you. I’m getting another drink, do you want an orange juice?’
‘I’m sick of juice. I’ll have a J2O for a change. I could do with something stronger.’
‘Now, now! No naughty thoughts, that’s what got you into this situation.’ He strutted off as though he had a coin clasped between his buttocks. Had he always walked like that, or was it a gay thing? She smiled to herself. In a way he’d been right, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain, but could she enter into a marriage without love. She had always dreamed of falling in love and being whisked off on a cloud of dreams by Mr Right. How wrong could you be?
Dave was a good man; a real gentleman who would look after her and the twins, but was that enough? Was it fair to Dave? What if Dave just felt lonely and needed to fill the gap in his life which his wife had left? Even if that were true, it wasn’t a terrible thing.
Her mind flicked back to Speed Dating. She’d put a tick against his name and if Simon hadn’t been there that evening, she could have been happy with Dave. She had to move on! She should forget about her lustful feelings for Simon and remember she had liked Dave right from the beginning.
Paul returned with the drinks.
