by Unknown
“NO!” She screamed, pushing him away as anger gripped her completely. “I DON’T WANT YOU. I WISH I NEVER MET YOU!”
“Alice,” Parker said, and Alice could see the hurt and fear in his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yes I do,” she said as she began to sob once more. “If I hadn’t met you, I would have been here with my grandmother when she needed me the most.”
“Sweetheart,” Eleanor said, but Alice didn’t take her eyes from Parker. “You don’t know that.”
“You said everything would be okay,” Alice whispered, her eyes stilled locked with Parker’s, as the tears streamed down her face. “You promised me. I believed what you said.”
“And it will be,” Parker said as now, his eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You just have to believe it will.”
“HOW CAN IT BE?” Alice cried. “Tell me! Gram died, and I wasn’t there. I should have been there.”
“I know you’re hurting right now,” Parker said as he took a step closer to her. “But we can get through this together…”
“There is no we anymore,” Alice sobbed as her heart fell apart. “There is just me. The way it should be. The way it will be from now on.”
She turned and opened the front door, then headed for the elevator. She prayed that the doors would just open, but they didn’t.
“Alice,” Parker said as he followed her out to the hallway. “You can’t walk away like this. Not now. Not after everything we have been through. You’re upset, and you’re angry, but we will get past this.”
“No, we can’t get past this,” Alice insisted without looking at Parker. “This was wrong from the start. I should have never agreed to marry you. You said it yourself; this was a mistake. You should have just let me walk away the other day.”
“But you said you loved me,” Parker said as he stepped closer to her. “You said that you would love me for the rest of my life.”
“Yeah, well,” Alice said as she finally looked up at Parker. She looked at this man, whom she loved with every ounce of her being but her heart was so broken, she just couldn’t see beyond her anger and her grief. “What the hell did I know?”
“Alice, please,” Parker cried as he pressed his head to hers. “Don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose you. Please. I love you.”
The doors of the elevator pinged, and slowly glided open.
“I just can’t be the person you want me to be,” she whispered as she leaned up and kissed his cheek before she stepped onto the elevator.
“Alice,” Parker begged as tears spilled down his face. “Please.”
“Goodbye, Parker,” Alice whispered as the doors slowly closed. Once she was in the safety of the elevator, Alice dropped to the floor and sobbed. She had lost everyone in this world that she loved, and now she was truly alone.
Chapter 31
Parker
Parker lay on the sofa and stared at the wall blankly. He thought the bottle of whiskey the night before would have helped, but it really hadn’t. He had thought he couldn’t feel any worse than he already did, but he was wrong. His mind was filled with thoughts of Alice, and his chest ached with longing to see her again. Why did he have to miss her so much? Why did he have to love her so damn much?”
The day she walked out of the apartment, Parker stood in the hallway staring at the doors of the elevator, wondering what the hell he should do now. His first gut instinct was to go after her. He ran to the stairs and had made it down about half way before a crippling pain in his chest stopped him. He dropped down to the step he was on and just began to sob.
It wasn’t until he felt his dad’s arm around him did he even realised that his dad had come after him.
“What do I do, Dad?” Parker sobbed sadly. “I don’t know how to make this right.”
“You go after her, and you talk and talk until she listens to you,” Robert told him. “She is hurting right now, but she needs you to be the man she married.”
“The man she married,” Parker laughed bitterly as he remembered the night he made her the offer he thought she would jump at. “You mean the asshole who offered her a million pounds to marry him just to get you and Mom off his back?”
“No,” Robert said, surprising Parker that he didn’t seem that thrown by his comment. “I mean the one who looks at her like she is the most precious creature in the world. The one who changed his whole life, just to make her happy. The man who broke Lewis Malone’s nose because he dared lay a finger on her. The one who will love her even when she pushes everyone away because she is hurting so bad.”
“And what if she doesn’t want me, Dad?” Parker asked. “What if I can’t make her see that she belongs with me?”
“Then you fight harder,” Robert replied. “She is hurting, Son. The one person that was there for her since she was a little girl is gone, and she is blaming herself for not being there. She is just lashing out.”
“But she blames me,” Parker cried, his heart completely broken, “And she is right, I took her away, I told her it would be fine…”
“And you believed it would be,” Robert cut him off mid-sentence. “She just needs time to see that.”
“I should go after her,” Parker said as he stood up suddenly and began down the stairs once more. “She is alone and needs me to be with her.”
“Your mother has gone after her,” Robert said stopping Parker once more. “She said she would take her to the nursing home, then maybe back to our place for the night, give her time to calm down. Maybe it’s best you give her some space for now.”
Parker turned and looked at his father for a moment before he sighed and slowly made his way back up the stairs.
“I’m sorry,” Parker said as he reached the top of the stairwell.
“What for, Son,” Robert asked, surprised by his son’s apology.
“For lying to you,” Parker said as he stopped and turned to his dad. “For trying to deceive you that I had changed.”
“Parker, the only person you were deceiving, was yourself,” Robert laughed as he patted his son on the shoulder. “I knew the morning I read about it in the paper what you had done. I knew there was no great love that you suddenly had to marry. But then I met Alice, right after the photographer had knocked her down, and I could see then how in love you were with that girl, even if you didn’t know it at the time. What’s more is, I could see she loved you too.”
“I have made such a mess of things,” Parker said as he gave his dad a defeated look.
“I don’t believe you have,” Robert sighed. “I think you are both hurting right now, but this too will pass.”
“I hope so, Dad,” Parker sighed as he turned and reached for the handle of the door. “I really hope so.”
Parker had waited until the next day to go see Alice. It had been the worse night of his life, but he knew she needed the space, and he was determined to give her what she wanted. But she refused to talk to him and that hurt more than he ever imagined it would.
Still, he was determined that he would not give up without a fight, so he went back the following day, and the day after that, but Alice refused to talk to him. She wouldn’t even come out of her room.
Parker’s heart was completely shattered. He just couldn’t seem to reach her, no matter what he tried. He went back to his penthouse and decided that getting drunk was the only answer.
That was two days ago, and now, as he sat there with the mother of all hangovers, the only thing that he wanted was to get blind drunk again, and hope that for just a few hours he could forget about Alice.
The buzzer for the front desk sounded, but Parker made no effort to get up to answer it. He had told the front desk that under no circumstances, were they to allow anyone come up to his apartment.
When the buzzer stop, Parker looked at his phone on the coffee table, knowing that it would ring any second. Sure enough, not even thirty seconds later, the phone began to ring. It was what had happened over and over for the past two days. T
he buzzer would sound, followed by the phone ringing, then the buzzer once more.
And just like he knew it would, when the phone stopped, the buzzer started once again, but Parker just sat there, staring at the wall, waiting for the world to just leave him in peace.
When the noises all stopped, Parker pulled his ass up from the sofa and made his way to the now almost empty bar at the far side of the room. He rummaged through the cabinet until he found a bottle of scotch, then he made his way back to the sofa.
“So you’re alive, then?” Harrison asked from the doorway of the living room, almost scaring the shit out of Parker.
“How the hell did you get in here?” Parker growled as he slumped down onto the sofa and cracked open the seal on the scotch. “Whoever let you come up here will be getting their ass fired first thing in the morning.”
“I told him that we thought you could be dead,” Harrison said as he walked further into the living room. “I said that your father was contacting a lawyer as we spoke, so I don’t think he had much choice.”
“Doesn’t explain how you got in here,” Parker shot back, then took a long gulp of the scotch straight from the bottle.
“Your mom gave me the key,” Harrison said as he sat down next to Parker. “She is worried about you, Parks. We all are.”
“What about my wife?” Parker said unable to hide the anger he was feeling inside. “Is she worried about me too?”
“To be honest, Alice is not in a good place,” Harrison said, and Parker’s heart ached just at the mention of her name. He wanted to know what was going on with her, but he knew in his heart that it was no longer his business. At least, that’s what he told himself.
“Well, she’s made it clear I’m not part of her life anymore,” Parker replied coldly even though to just say the words hurt him more than he imagined they would. “And as you can see, I’m still alive, so you can tell everyone else they can stop worrying, and to leave me the hell alone.”
Harrison stared at Parker for a moment, as Parker took another long sip from the bottle of scotch.
“The funeral was today,” he finally continued. “There wasn’t many there, but it was nice. Alice, well, she isn’t doing so well. She needs you, Parker.”
“She doesn’t want me,” Parker replied looking his friend in the eye. “I tried, Harri. I tried again and again, but she won’t even see me, much less hear what I have to say.”
“So, you’re just going to give up?” Harrison asked, and Parker was surprised by the anger in his voice.
“What do you even care?” Parker asked as he stood up and began to pace up and down. “You didn’t like that I married her from the start. You should be happy it’s over.”
“I didn’t want you to marry her because you were you, and she…” Harrison stopped, as he chose his words carefully. “She was too good for you. She was too good for any of us. At least that’s what I thought, but I was wrong.”
“No, you weren’t,” Parker sighed as Harrison’s words resonated deep inside him. “She is too good for me. She is better off without me.”
“So you are going to let her walk away?” Harrison asked in disbelief. “Just like that?”
“If you knew anything about my darling wife,” Parker said as he walked back to the sofa and slumped back onto it once more. “It’s that no one lets her do anything. She will do whatever she wants, and she won’t care about who she is hurting.”
“That’s not true, Parker, and you know it,” Harrison replied sharply.
“Look, you came here to see if I’m alive,” Parker said without looking at his friend. “As you can see, I’m still breathing, so now just get the hell out.”
“Parker…” Harrison tried to argue, but Parker wasn’t in a listening mood.
“I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!” He shouted as he angrily sent the bottle he was holding, hurtling towards the wall, smashing it to pieces once it reached its target.
Harrison stared at his friend for a moment, then with a sigh, he stood up and headed for the door.
Once he was alone again, Parker buried his face in his hands once more and began to sob. The thought of Alice being so broken was too much for Parker to bear. He wanted her so much. He needed to see her, to hold her and make everything okay, but he knew in his heart that she no longer wanted him. He closed his eyes and prayed to God that he would wake up soon from this nightmare.
Parker woke with a start, as freezing cold water hitting his face dragged him from his restless sleep.
“WHAT THE HELL?” Parker yelled as he rolled off the edge of the sofa, and hit the floor with a thump. He rubbed the water from his eyes and looked up to see Nicole standing over him, looking madder than hell.
“So, you’re just going to let her go?” Nicole demanded as she looked at him with disappointment.
Parker pushed up from the floor and sighed as he pulled his wet t-shirt over his head.
“It’s complicated, Nic,” Parker replied as he walked towards the door, and down the hallway to the bedroom. He had hesitated before he walked into the room. He hadn’t been able to go into their room since the night Alice walked out. It was just too hard because it was filled with so many memories. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
“Well it’s about to get a lot more uncomplicated,” Nicole said as she followed him into the bedroom. “You know she’s leaving?”
“Sorry to tell you, Nic,” Parker said as he disappeared into the wardrobe to get a new t-shirt. “But she has already left.”
“No, Stupid,” Nicole retorted angrily. “She is leaving New York. She said she has a friend in Seattle that will put her up for a while until she finds somewhere permanent to live.”
Parker froze in the wardrobe, the last piece of his heart shattering at his sister’s words. He closed his eyes, and Alice’s face instantly crashed into his thoughts. He rested his forehead against the smooth wooden panel before him and tried to regain control of his emotions. Falling apart in front of his sister was the last thing Parker needed to do.
“You still love her,” Nicole said quietly from behind him, surprising Parker, as he hadn’t heard her follow him into the wardrobe. He turned and looked at his sister, who was leaning against the door frame.
“Of course, I still love her, Nic,” Parker replied honestly. “She just doesn’t want me anymore.”
“But what if she does?” Nicole asked as she took a step closer to her brother. “What if she is just afraid that she has hurt you too much for you to forgive her?”
“Did she say that?” Parker asked as a tiny flicker of hope ignited inside him.
“She didn’t have to,” Nicole sighed. “It’s written all over her face. Especially when you didn’t show up to the funeral yesterday. She was waiting for you the whole time, I could see it on her face, but you didn’t show…”
“I was there,” Parker admitted, and he could see the surprise on his sister’s face. “I was hungover as hell, but I was there. I just stayed out of the way so no one could see me.”
“Why didn’t you try to talk to her?” Nicole asked.
“Because she doesn’t want me, Nicole,” Parker replied as his voice cracked with emotion, betraying how he was truly feeling.
“You’re wrong,” Nicole replied as she gave her brother a sad smile. “But she is as stubborn as you are, and she is never going to admit it unless you try one more time.”
“I don’t know if I can,” Parker shrugged.
“That’s your decision,” Nicole sighed impatiently. “If you really want to throw away the best thing that has ever happened to you, then do it. But once she has gone, it will be too late, and you will have no one but yourself to blame.”
Without saying another word, Nicole kissed Parker on the cheek, then turned and left him standing alone in the wardrobe. He turned and looked at Alice’s clothes that were still hanging there. That’s when he spotted the dress she had worn on the day that she had married him. He walked over to where it was han
ging, picked it up and brought it to his face. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and her perfume instantly filled his senses.
He needed her. It was that simple. He loved her with every fibre of his being, and he needed her. Letting her go was not an option.
Parker quickly hung the dress back up and turned to his clothes. He grabbed a fresh shirt and some clean pants before he made his way to the bathroom. He needed to fix this before he lost her for good. He just prayed that this time she would listen to him.
Chapter 32
Alice
There was a soft tap on the door that pulled Alice from her thoughts. She turned and looked at the door expectantly, then told whoever it was to come in.
“Have you finished packing?” Eleanor asked as she appeared around the doorway. She gave Alice as sad smile, and Alice knew that the woman’s heart was breaking. That’s why she had decided to leave. It wasn’t fair to put Parker’s family in the middle of them. They were his family, so she needed to go.
She had considered going to stay with Jenny, but she was with Jensen now and again, Alice didn’t want to make things harder for anyone. She knew the right thing to do was leave, and let Parker get back to his life. Even if leaving was breaking her heart.
“Yeah,” Alice replied with a sad smile. She was determined not to cry anymore. She needed to at least appear to others like she was sure of what she was doing. “There wasn’t much to pack really. Parker only put enough in the bag for a couple of days…”
The mention of his name made a fresh wave of tears take hold, but she quickly blinked them back, refusing to cry again.
She had been so angry at herself, at Gram, at the world, that she had lashed out and blamed Parker on everything. Each time he came to see her, she refused to talk to him. She wouldn’t even see him. Alice knew if she did, her anger would give way to grief and she wasn’t ready to let her heart hurt like that yet.
In the end, the pain she felt for losing her grandmother was nothing to the pain she was feeling from losing Parker. Every time someone mentioned his name, she could barely breathe. She missed him more than she had ever thought possible, but she was too afraid to admit she was wrong. More than that, she couldn’t bear to hear him tell her that he no longer loved her or that he no longer wanted her.
