by J. S. Brent
I walked to the door and tried to slip the key in the large, golden lock. I missed the first two times my hands were shaking so hard. I took a deep breath and finally slipped it into the lock.
Beth, you’ve got this, I said to myself. I felt a wave of nervousness rush through me, I took another deep breath and flung open the doors. They blew open and the cool spring air whipped around my head, sending my hair into my face. I battled to keep it out of my hair as I kicked the door stops down and looked out into the street. The city had begun to become alive with the buzz of cars and the chatter of the people. Cars honked and pedestrians screamed at each other. The smell of coffee drifted through the air, the smell of it getting roasted and brewed. I lifted my nose into the air and drew in the cities natural perfume. Most people always spoke about how badly the city smelled, about how rude the people were, about how they couldn’t stand the hustle and bustle, about how small it made them feel. Yet, in that moment, as I stood in the chatter and smell, the yells and profanities, I had never in my life felt more big or alive.
Chapter Three
The day was going on without a hitch, actually it was one of our busiest days of the month. I had done more talking in the matter of 5 hours that day that I believe I had done all year; and it felt fantastic. I laughed at their jokes, partook in their gossip, helped them on with their clothing, smiled kindly at their attendants and offered them coffee or water, all of them refused. I understood, it would be taboo of them to have taken it, but I could tell that they appreciated my offering.
Meanwhile, Melody scowled behind the counter, watching my every move. I enjoyed chatting up her customers as she watched, I liked showing her that I could not only do her job, but do it better.
“Melody, what are you doing behind the counter?” I had heard a few women ask.
“I have no idea?” Melody would say, sounding like she had just lost a pet, “I just don’t know anymore.”
My god suck it up, I thought to myself.
I was in the middle of thanking a customer and complimenting them on their new outfit when I heard a familiar voice pierce the boutique like a bolt of lightning, sending a chill down my spine.
“oh my god, Beth? Is that you?” She screamed
I whipped around, almost falling on back in surprise. It was Misty, dressed head to toe in a tight leopard print dress and matching heels. She ran up to me with her arms outstretched, the way a mother would embrace their child. Even my mother wasn’t as excited to see me asd she was. She wrapped her arms around me, almost crushing my ribcage in the process, and squeezed me hard.
“What are you doing here girl, you shop here?!” She yelled holding my shoulders and staring me in the eyes.
“Oh, uh, no-“ I paused for a moment, trying to catch my breath, “I work here.”
“Oh well isn’t that just something, you work at two of my favorite places!” She smiled wide and kept her hand on my shoulder.
I felt myself break out into a cold sweat as I tried to look aroud her tall frame.
Was he here? Please no, I thought to myself. Please don’t be here, I don’t think I could bear it.
Misty chattered on and on as my ears rang. I tried desperately to look around her, feeling like a Zebra being stalked by a lion.
“Oh, hello Misty,” a voice from behind me said, making me jump.
Misty let out a scream, dropping my shoulder. She hugged Ms.Pawler standing behind me, rocking her back and forth as she embraced her. I looked over at Melody in shock, she wouldn’t even look at me.
“Where have you been, Misty?” Ms.Pawler said in her low voice with a slight smirk on her face, even someone as made of stone as much as she stood nothing up against Mistys infectious attitude.
“Oh, you know girl. I gotta get out of this city every now and again or I start to lose my min- well, more so than usual!” Misty laughed and threw her head back, keeping her hand on Ms.Pawlers shoulder.
“Now, why don’t you show me a few of those things I ordered from you, I haven’t been here for a whole 3 weeks!” Misty yelled.
They began to walk towards Ms.Pawlers office as I hurried behind them.
“No, Beth, you may stay here,” Ms.Pawler said to me as they walked into her office. I nodded and walked back towards the front desk, Misty blowing me a kiss as she entered the large glass room.
I was about to say something to Melody, but as soon as I opened my mouth she scowled at me and stuck her nose in a fashion magazine.
Can’t win ‘em all, Beth, I thought to myself as I walked towards the front of the store. A warm breeze blew through the doors, making the long train of the hanging dresses dance like ghosts and the jewelry chatter together like wind chimes. I breathed in through my nose, wanting to take in every moment of this beautiful day, I wanted to remember it, to be able to taste it whenever I was feeling down. I stretched my arms towards the heavens and closed my eyes, breathing in, filling up my whole lungs. It was a move my old yoga teacher had taught me. I squeezed my eyes shut harder and stretched myself taller, wanting to feel like I was going to touch the sky.
Breath in Beth, I thought, breath in and hold it. Atta girl, hold it for just one more moment, breath in just a little more-
“Hello Beth,” A voice rasped from behind me.
“Wha!” I yelped as I lost my footing, sending me into a rack of dresses. I grasped the bar to steady myself and almost fell to the floor. I felt a hard behind me grab my arm and pull me to my feet. I steadied myself against the kind shopper, my hair in my face. I could hear Melody laughe behind the counter, I pushed the hair out of my face to yell at her. I grabbed ahold of my long brown locks and-
It was him.
Adam.
Held tight onto my arm, his large body almost pressed to mine. Standing this close to him I could really feel how absolute massive he was. His eyes beamed down on to me, a gentle smile and knowingness behind them. I stood frozen with his giant hand clamped down around the bicep of my arm, like a child who had been caught doing something naughty.
“I’m sorry,” He said listening his grip as my knees shook to maintain my balance, “did I frighten you?”
My mouth opened but the words wouldn’t come out. Why did I feel this way around him, sure he was by far the most attractive man I had ever seen, but there was something more about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could swear that when he walked into a room all the clocks slowed. I felt words welling up in my throat, nearly chocking me.
“Oh, don’t mind her Adam,” Melody cooed from behind the desk, “she just clumsy and awkward,” Adam continued to stare down at me as she spoke, my eyes darting between them. “I really don’t know why she was put up front today, it looks like she just crawled out of bed.”
I felt rage well up in the pit of my stomach like fire. I wanted to run over to the counter, jump over it and slap Melody. How dare she embarrass ne in front of a customer? How rude is to do not only to me, but to one of our patrons. If human beings do spontaneously combust, I came close to it right then and there.
“I mean, look at her hair,” Melody laughed, pointing at me with a pen like I was some kind of test subject.
I was about to open my mouthe to say something to her, when I felt a hand brush a few locks of hair behind my ear. I jumped back, recoiling from his touch.
“Hah,” He laughed, his voice low and raspy, “we are a little jumpy today.”
I laughed as I sneered at Melody, I tuned to Adam and touched the hair he had just placed behind my ear.
“Not jumpy,” I said, laughing nervously, “its just been- its just been a strange day that’s all.”
Adam nodded looking down at me, want me to say more, but I couldn’t take the risk of embarrassing myself anymore. There was a long silence between us, much too long. I could feel Melody staring at us. I could feel her judgment; I could feel her happiness as she watched me struggle to talk to the mystery man. I wondered if he had the same effect on her as he had on the receptionist and I. Pro
bably not, I though, the girl is about as fiery as an iceberg. In the distance I heard misty let out one long cackle. I looked up at Adam who was still looking at me.
“Man, that Misty, she sure is something isn’t she?” I croaked, and then immediately hated myself for talking.
To my amazement, Adam let out a loud laugh, and patted me on the shoulder.
“Oh yeah, Misty, she’s one in a million,” he said smiling, his face much kinder than it was the day before.
I looked at him and was taken aback how stunning he was when he smiled. His face over the past two day I had met him, seemed to have been poured in cement, a constant scowl. Always looking like he was about to either get into a fight or start some trouble. But now when he stood before me, with this big grin on his face, I could see the years wash away from him, as his boyishness peaked out. Even though he was dressed in a fine blue suit and tie, with patent black leather shoes, I could tell he must have been much younger than I had thought.
Are they dating? I thought. I wonder if there is any way for me to find out without Misty knowing. Oh god Beth who are you kidding, I shouted to myself in my head, look at him, he’s a Greek god, you can barely get out of bed in the morning, forget about it.
“I take it this is your first day up front here?” He asked as he stared off in the direction of the off, beginning to look impatient.
“Oh yeah, Ms.Pawler said she like my outfit this morning so she decided to give me a chance.” I heard Melody sigh in annoyance as I stared at Adam, wanting him to talk to me more.
He looked down at me and nodded, his beautiful blond hair golden in the sun that poured through the windows.
“Yeah, you don’t look half that bad,” he said shrugging.
I melted inside.
“Yeah, you too,” I said in a half whisper looking at the floor.
The office doors opened up, Misty and Ms.Pawler came walking out, Misty had her arm over Ms.Pawler, practically towering over her. In her other hand she carried a bundle of plastic-wrapped clothing.
“Adam!” She yelled out as she shook the bags. I saw the scowl return to Adams face as he rushed over to her and took them from her hands.
I wondered why he always seemed to be so annoyed by her? She was loud and boisterous, but she was a kind woman. Why did he seem to resent her so?
“Oh Beth darling,” Misty yelled at me, waving her arms for me to come over to her.
Adam leaned up against the desk and Melody began to make small talk with him. I could see in her eyes that she had the same effect on him as he did me and the others. I’ve never been a jealous woman, and never plan on being one. Yet, in that moment I wanted to grab him away from her and scream in her face, “you stay away from him, he's mine!” I wanted to make her cower. She asked him stupid questions I tried to overhear, but Misty’s loud voice drown them out.
“Beth are you listening to me?” Misty shouted, regaining my attention.
“Oh, sorry, what?” I said, turning to her as she gripped my arm, her long nails still red and perfect from yesterday.
“I said we are going to throw your store a party! Isn't that great!?” Misty's voice squeaked as she talked.
“Yeah, that’s great,” I said, my voice halfhearted.
“Well, you don’t sound too excited,” Misty whined.
I laughed and tried to clear my head.
“Im sorry, I’m just a little confused, but a party for what, like what's the occasion?”
Misty began to speak but was immediately cut off by Ms.Pawler. I was supried to see Misty go quiet when she talked, I guess Ms.Pawler even frightened her a little.
“The party will be a welcoming party for the new people who have been moving into the neighborhood, the young people. I have had the same customers for over 20 years now, and I adore them, but the neighborhood id is changing and I need to draw in more people.”
“There's gonna be an open bar!!” Misty squealed.
I laughed and looked down at the floor.
“Well, I’m sure you will all have a lot of fun,” I said, trying to insinuate that I wasn’t going.
“What are you talking about?” Ms.Pawler questioned, her face twisted, “all of my employees will be present for the party. We have to show our faces to the neighborhood, I don’t want anyone who step through that door to see an unfamiliar face, understood?”
I nodded my head, not wanting to offend her, “Understood.”
She turned to Misty and hugged her, another shock of the day. Misty embraced her before pulling away.
“This is going to be so much fun!” She said, jumping up and down.
“Well, thank you Misty, and thank you Adam, I really don’t know how I could every repay you,” Ms. Pawler said, looking at both of them.
Adam nodded his head and smiled, looking at his wrist watch, obviously wanting to leave.
“Oh, Ms.Pawler, don’t even think about it, and leave everything up to me,” Misty leaned in and kissed her once on each cheek, European style, “Next Friday then?”
Ms.Pawler nodded. Misty hugged me and told me how much fun we were going to have. I wanted to die on the inside; I hated parties and was never good at them. She walked out the door with Adam slowly walking behind her. He stopped and stood in front me as she rushed out the door. I felt electricity shoot through my body as I looked up at him, his beautiful eyes staring down at me.
“Next Friday?” He asked, not breaking eye contact.
“Next Fiday” I mumbled.
He gave me a small grin the sent pains into my stomach and walked beyond the clothing, past the jewelry and through the doors. I watched through the windows as he disappeared beyond my view, taking my heart with him.
Chapter Four
I wake in the night in a cold sweat. Where am I? What day is it? I reached for my phone and slide the lock open. It’s Friday 2:00 am in the morning, the big party is tonight.
No I whisper to myself, not tonight please, just not tonight I need to rest.
I push my face back into the pillow and try to get the image of them out of my mind. How could it be two years later and I’m still having nightmares about them in our bed, their bodies pressed together, our blankets wrapped around them, our Ipod playing our songs. I had cried enough tears to grow crops over them and still I was having nightmares, still seeing their faces, still scared, even though I lived far away from both of them now, that I would run into one of them around the holidays, when they were back visiting family. That was a week I would be staying inside, hunkered down in my apartment. I don’t think I could bear to see them together, non the less see them happy.
You were supposed to be my best friend, I cried into my pillow pathetically. It had been the worst pain the word to have both your best friend and the man you were supposed to marry both betray you in the most horrific manner. I had no one to turn to after that, I had no one to talk to about it, they were more than just my safety net, they were my family. They were all I had and they knew that.
I wonder how long it had been going on before I caught them.
I closed my eyes and forced myself not to think of them, not to think of how their naked bodies looked together. They were out of my life. Gone. I would always hate they for what they did. Yet what I hated them for the most were nights like these, when I would give anything to have their friendship back.
Chapter Five
The music blared over the sound system as I sat at a bar stool, trying to adjust the short cocktail dress Ms.Pawler had made me wear to promote the store. The red sequin dug into the back of my thighs making it uncomfortable to sit, which was unfortunate because I had been glued to the barstool for the past two hours. I was drinking in moderation, I just didn’t know anyone at the party besides Ms.Pawler, Misty, and Melody. I tried to make myself as scares as possible, hiding behind the other bar patrons.
God, why did I have to come here? I think to myself as I sat there, my hands wrapped around a martini I had been slowly nursing on for the past hour,
you know you’re bad at these things.
I wished I could just get up and make a run for it, I had no business being there. All of the employees seemed to know each other; I had no Idea that Ms.Pawler even had other shops like this around the city. They laughed and drank together, they even seemed to like Melody, which burned me even worse. I stared at the clock, only four more hours to go and then I can leave, I thought, just run home and stay inside. I sipped the last of my drink and desperately tried to get the bartenders attention, but to no avail. He was being chatted up by a group of beautiful girls, and couldn’t even be bothered to look in my direction.
“Excuse me!” I finally yelled, pointing at my empty glass. He nodded his head and raised his finger, telling me that he was busy.
I sighed and reached into my tiny clutch purse I had been given and pulled out my cell phone. I don’t know why the time would read differently, I just had some vague hope that for some reason the time was off and I could leave. Still four hours. I stared off beyond the bar and at my reflection in the mirror, I was looking rather beautiful that night, Ms.pawler had done my hair and make-up, and dressed me to the nines, going so far as to make me wear a pair of high heels I had no business walking in. Even sitting down they punched my feet.
How do girls do this? I questioned myself. How do they not only wear these for special occasion, but just wear them as everyday foot wear. People like misty; whom seem to have been born wearing a pair of stilettos. I fidgeted with the strap that was digging into my ankle and cursed the god under my breath.
“Why you stupid son-of-a” I mumbled, before feeling a hand on my shoulder.
“Hello Beth”
I nearly jumped out of my seat, but caught my hand on the bar. I whipped my head around and came face to face with Adam. He was holding a Martini in each hand and had a slight grin on his face, almost cat-like.
“You wanted one of these,” he said in his low baritone, gesturing one of the cocktails towards me.
