by Gina Presley
It wasn’t until I got out of the shower and my phone vibrated that I remembered everything that had happened the night before. I quickly ran out of the bathroom to my bed where my phone sat. Picking it up hastily, I searched the screen for Lexi’s name. Nope, it was just a text from Steve.
“Hey I’m picking up breakfast burritos for work. Come hungry.J” Steve was such a great guy. I absolutely adored our friendship. Was a girl really worth putting everything on the line for? Internal combat struck again and I groaned with annoyance at my own self.
When I arrived at work Steve stood outside of the locker room with two grease-stained bags and some coffee. I had never been so excited for anything. As we chowed down in the cafeteria he asked me over and over again what I thought about Lexi.
I tried to keep my mouth preoccupied with food as to avoid saying too much. Yes, she was cute; yes, he had a chance; yes, she was a good singer. I nodded in agreement to everything he said but didn’t know how to answer his next question.
“How late were you guys out last night? Did you two have fun?” he asked.
“Oh we left about thirty minutes after you did,” I lied. “We had a good time but it just wasn’t a lot of fun without you. I could tell she was bummed when you left.”
“She was?” His eyes lit up. Maybe I had pushed it a little too far with that last line.
“Mmhmm,” I decided that no words were better than any words and proceeded to stuff my face with more breakfast burrito.
“You seem tense,” he looked at me with concern.
“Just tired,” I got up from the table before he could press on and we headed out the door.
The day was fairly slow which normally I would have appreciated if I hadn’t been looking for something to distract my mind with. Lexi texted me three times and it took everything in my willpower not to text her back.
I also tried to make as little interaction with Steve as possible. I knew he knew something was up but I couldn’t find any excuse other than “I’m Tired”.
By the end of the day I was emotionally drained and ready for bed. I said goodbye to Steve and headed home. The 3 unread text messages glowing on my phone seemed to be mocking me. Every time I lit up my phone to see what time it was there they were.
Finally at home, alone and on my couch I decided to read the messages.
9:03 AM “Good Morning!”
10:42 AM “Are you as hungover as me?”
2:56 PM “Helloooo?”
I hit reply and stared at the blank screen for ten minutes. Before I could even think of what I was saying I hit send.
“Sorry, I was slammed all day at work. Yes I was hungover as hell. Let’s hang out again soon.”
I read my sent message over and over again before throwing my phone down into the carpet. What was I thinking? My best friend would be devastated. But she was so perfect I just couldn’t get her out of my head.
I guess I never thought that this would happen to me again, seeing as my best friend was a straight man. Back in college, it happened a lot. The lesbian circle was only so big, and we had all dated each other. Ever since I graduated I have steered clear of all lesbian cliques to avoid that drama. This should not be happening. Not now, not at 39 years old.
We were mature adults not teenagers. I wasn’t a “girlfriend stealer”. To be fair to myself, though, she wasn’t Steve’s girlfriend. And she didn’t seem interested. So was that free game?
I should just man up and call him, I thought. I should ask him if it was okay and this whole thing would be put to bed. I picked up the phone but found myself distracted by another message from Lexi.
“Netflix and takeout at your place tonight? You host, I’ll pay.”
“OK,” I responded.
I did a quick run through of my house to make sure it was fairly clean. I hadn’t had company over in months and had kind of let the place go. I knew I still needed to call Steve but my better judgment subsided and I pretended that Steve didn’t exist.
Chapter 7
When the doorbell rang I lingered for a few minutes so she wouldn’t think I was too eager. When I finally answered the door she stood there smiling, hair up in a messy bun wearing leggings and a hoodie. Perfect movie watching gear. I, on the other hand was much too overdressed. I was in black jeans and a gray button up. I suddenly felt ridiculous. I was trying too hard.
“Hi!” she walked right in like she had been there a million times. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” I guided her to the living room and helped her set up the Thai food on the coffee table.
“I feel like I should have put a little more effort into my look.” Her eyes gave the look of concern. I laughed to myself at thinking I was overdressed just a few minutes before.
“I think you look great! In fact, I might go change.” I hated to make her feel bad.
“Really? Yeah, do it!” The excitement returned to her eyes.
I retreated upstairs to my bedroom and changed into some comfy sweats. I made sure they were nice, no holes or stains. It was so odd, I had never been dressed like that in front of a woman.
When I got back down stairs Lexi had already found herself a blanket in a nearby closet and was all snuggled up on the couch. I was a little disappointed to see that there was a second blanket on the other side of the couch for me.
“Are you a documentary or a sci-fi kind of girl?” she asked.
“You choose.”
“Chick flick it is,” she winked.
“Hey, that wasn’t on your list of options!”
“That’s what you get for letting me choose.”
How could I argue with that cute face? I still didn’t know how old she was. She couldn’t be more than 30, my guess was 28. She had a little splash of freckles on her little turned up nose that I hadn’t noticed the night at the club.
“What are you looking at?” she asked, clearly self-conscious.
“You.”
She looked at me confused at first but then blushed and smiled, turning her attention to the TV as if to avoid any awkwardness.
The movie started and I stayed on my side of the couch. Towards the middle of the movie I noticed Lexi’s eyes beginning to flutter. I could tell she was tired. It was so hard to watch the movie when all I wanted was her to curl up in my arms.
She caught me staring at her more than once and I hoped I hadn’t made her feel uncomfortable.
When the credits started playing and the movie was over, Lexi let out a big yawn and stretched out her arms. Her head came down in to my lap and she laid there looking up at me. My heart jumped.
“Do you believe in true love?” she caught me off guard.
“Yeah, I suppose so. Why do you ask?” I noticed a tear that had dried on her cheek. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a sad movie, don’t you think?”
“Very sad.” My fingers made their way to her hair and I carefully pushed a strand back behind her ear. She frowned for only a second before smiling at me.
“You’re nice,” she said.
“Thank you?” I couldn’t tell what she meant by that. She stared up at the ceiling blankly and I wondered what she could have been thinking about. Her eyebrows said she was concerned but then the corners of her mouth would curve up almost towards a smile. Was she just as confused about things as I was?
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” I said.
“I told you, I think you’re nice.”
“A lot of people are nice,” I replied.
“Steve is nice.” That hit me out of the blue. Again, he had forced his way in to my thoughts and I was instantly jealous of his name on her lips.
“You like Steve, don’t you?” I asked, half curious but mostly hoping she’d say no.
“You like me, don’t you?” I couldn’t believe how bold she was.
“I haven’t decided yet.” Two could play this game.
“Good, don’t decide yet.” She sat up and kissed me on the cheek before g
athering her things and heading for the door. Again, I found myself disappointed that the night hadn’t progressed more. I closed the door behind her with a smile that remained on my face well in to my sleep.
Chapter 8
When she didn’t text me the next day I was somewhat worried that I had said too much the night before, that I had somehow managed to scare her away. I went in to work determined to talk to Steve about everything that had been happening between me and Lexi. When we finally sat down for lunch I could tell he, too had something on his mind.
“How have you been, Amanda?” he asked, awkwardly formal.
“I’ve been good. How have you been?” I responded nervously.
“You know, I could be better.”
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I think you know what’s up.”
“Listen, Steve, I meant to tell you but I didn’t know how.”
“I drove by your house last night to drop off some food, thought you could use it since you had such a rough day. Didn’t look like a rough day to me.” He slammed his tray on the cafeteria table before storming off to dump his food.
“Steve, please.”
“The worst part is that she told you how much she liked me. And you tried anyways. Don’t you know that no means no? She told me how you came on to her.”
“What?!” I was so confused. I didn’t come on to her. It was Lexi who fell into my lap, who kissed me on my cheek. Not once did I suggest anything else. Did she tell him that?
“Oh, don’t play oblivious. She told me everything Amanda. We are done here.”
I sat, stunned with tears in my eyes. What had just happened? I wanted to tell Steve it was all a lie, that she was trying to come between us. I felt a pit in my stomach. Why would she say such terrible things? She seemed so comfortable last night, had I done something wrong?
I tried to brush it off, get my work done then go home and sort through my thoughts. I couldn’t help but feel hurt. I felt betrayed by both Lexi and Steve. Lexi for telling lies and Steve for believing them. Had I asked for it, though? Was this my payback for not backing out while I still had the chance?
Furious, I pulled out my phone and texted Lexi.
“You lying little bitch. I did not come on to you. You came on to me. You invited yourself over. Not me. Try to come between me and my best friend. I dare you.”
I hit send and turned it off so I could eliminate distractions and get back to work.
Steve and I worked side by side on two surgeries that day, but we remained silent only to talk when absolutely necessary. If I had known that this was what our relationship would come to, I would have never pursued Lexi. I kicked myself for being so stupid.
Chapter 9
Days passed and still no response from Lexi, nor any contact from Steve. The first couple days were hard but I soon got back into my daily routine. I didn’t need either one of them. It was Friday night and I was not about to stay in and feel sorry for myself. I decided to go out.
There was a cheap lesbian bar just down the street that I went to a lot when I was younger, but had since lost a lot of its credibility. It was having a grand reopening and I figured I could pick up a cute college girl and have a decent time not having to worry about anyone else. I got dressed up and hit the road.
I walked through familiar doors into a brand new night club. I instantly felt out of place as I was at least 10 years older than every girl there. I tried to play it off by taking a few reckless shots and getting on the dance floor.
A cute blonde in a mini skirt and bandeaux started grinding on me and I welcomed it. It wasn’t fifteen minutes before she was biting my neck and beckoning me to the dark corner of the club. She began tugging at my jeans, running her warm hand up the front of my shirt and grasping at my bra.
I knew people were watching but I didn’t care. Her tan thigh made its way up my hip and I groped her ass while she slid her tongue into my mouth.
“Come home with me,” I whispered in her ear. Before she could respond, my phone vibrated in my jeans. I fumbled it out of my pocket and read Lexi’s name on the screen. Everything was suddenly standing still. I could feel the blonde staring at me, wondering if I was going to answer it. I let it ring three times before finally picking it up. The girl looked at me in disbelief but I didn’t care.
“Hello?” I answered, trying to sound stern and sober.
“Amanda! Come to the club. Please. We need to talk.”
“What makes you think I want to talk to you?” I slurred.
“Are you drunk?”
“What do you want Lexi?”
“Meet me at the club in thirty minutes.”
The call ended and I stood there, drunk and confused. What was I supposed to do? Drop everything for some stupid girl? Nope, no thanks.
I grabbed the neck of the girl standing in front of me and pushed her mouth hard onto mine. She ran her hands through my hair and when I closed my eyes I jumped, having seen Lexi instead of this drunk college girl.
“You’re fucking weird!” she yelled before returning to the dance floor.
Chapter 10
I stood there for ten minutes trying to gather myself. I drank way too much. Making my way to the door, I was stopped by three girls trying to dance on me. I politely pushed them aside and finally made my way outside. I looked at my watch to see it was only 11:00.
I couldn’t decide whether to go to Lexi’s club or not. Before I could make the decision, my feet decided for me. I found myself walking downtown towards the same hole in the wall I swore I’d never go back to.
I walked through the door to see Steve and Lexi sitting at the bar.
“Fuck this,” I said out loud before turning around to head home. A strange hand grabbed my arm and I turned to recognize Lexi’s bartender brother Brandon.
“Give her a chance,” he said.
While the walk had sobered me up quite a bit, I was still drunk enough to be angry and I yanked my arm out of Brandon’s before Lexi caught my gaze. She ran over to where we stood and jumped into my arms. I shoved her off of me and turned to storm out the door before yet another pair of hands grabbed my arm. These hands were familiar, though. They were Steve’s.
“What, is this some sick joke?” I yelled, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Calm down, Amanda. It’s okay, it was all a big misunderstanding. Please listen to what Lexi has to say.” Steve didn’t loosen his grasp on my arm and I twisted uncomfortably before agreeing to speak with her. “I’m going to leave you two to talk, I’ll see you in the morning. Take care of her Lexi,” he let me go and walked out the door.
“Come sit,” Lexi said, guiding me to the same table we had sat at just one week ago. She set a glass of water in front of me like I couldn’t take care of myself. “Where did you get yourself so drunk, honey?”
“I’m not drunk. I’m pissed off. You fucked up my friendship and interrupted a super hot makeout session at the club with a girl half my age.” I could see the hurt across her face. “Oh, does that hurt?” I mocked. “Don’t worry, I didn’t force myself on her. Or maybe I did. I can’t seem to tell the difference anymore.” I stabbed.
I saw tears well up in her eyes and I suddenly felt terrible.
“You don’t know half the things I’ve endured this week on your behalf Amanda.” The tears that were just shining on the surface were now full-fledged tears. I drank the water in front of me and tried to find my sober self.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” I moved chairs so I could sit next to her and I put my arm around her.
“No, don’t be sorry. It’s all my fault,” she sobbed.
“Just tell me why you did it Lexi.”
“It wasn’t me. It was Kyle.”
“Your ex-husband Kyle?” I asked, suddenly concerned.
“He’s a monster, Amanda. We met up a few days ago to settle some of the divorce paperwork and he said he had seen me with you. He said it was an embarrassment and that I had to end things
with you or he would do it himself. It was him that sent all those nasty messages to Steve, not me. He knew what it would do to you. He had been following you and knew how close you and Steve were. He’s crazy and will do anything to hurt me. You have to be careful Amanda. He’s always lurking in every corner.” She looked around nervously, and I found myself glancing around too.
“He’s been following me?” I asked.
