4th April 1934
Ida Coote had discovered Pips’s new restaurant, too. She spotted us before we’d even ordered and hung around our table until Ethel said, “Why don’t you pull up a chair, dear? Take the weight off your pins.”
Pips said, “Okay, the question before us is, has the P of W bedded Wally Simpson? All those who say ‘obviously,’ raise their right hand.”
I was the only one who disagreed, but then, none of them knows Wally as I do.
I said, “She once told me she never felt inclined to sleep with either of her husbands.”
Pips said, “No need to get into technicalities. Even if they sit up all night talking soup kitchens, I say it counts.”
Ethel said, “Me too.”
Ida said, “And anyway, we’re not talking about any old beau. We’re talking about a prince. The Prince, actually. I’d sleep with him in a heartbeat.”
That signifies nothing, though I was friend enough not to say so. Ida Coote would sleep with a corporal of the King’s Horse.
Tomorrow to Bryanston Court for dinner. I’ll soon get to the bottom of this.
5th April 1934
A tense evening at Bryanston Court. Judson and Hattie Erlanger and a rather bohemian Russian couple, the Dimitri Shapaleffs, he with an eye patch, she with a silk bandana tied around her head. Also an up-and-coming architect who has ideas about housing for the working classes. Wally’s idea of introducing items of particular interest to the Prince.
Most unusually, Ernest wasn’t late for his own party and arrived ahead of the Prince, but as soon as HRH did appear, he began handing around canapés and generally playing the host. Hattie raised an eyebrow.
Wally pushed the conversation along all evening, but it felt very brittle. Then Ernest made his excuses after half a cigar, pleading masses of paperwork before he leaves on a trip to Hamburg.
He said, “I’ll leave Wally to take care of you, sir.”
Another eyebrow from Hattie. I don’t know. Violet always says it’s unforgivable to retire before a Royalty.
As HRH was leaving, he said, “Maybell, come to the Fort this weekend. Wally, have Maybell brought to the Fort.”
“Oh, sir!” she said. “You make it sound like an arrest!”
Now, do you really call a man “sir” after he’s crossed a certain threshold? I don’t think so.
6th April 1934
Pips had had Hattie on the telephone first thing. She said, “See! Ernest leaves for Hamburg and Wally sets off for the Fort. It’s in the bag. Jeepers, Maybell, you’re going to have a ringside seat. Take notes now. I’m relying on you.”
7th April 1934, Fort Belvedere
The Perry Brownlows are here, plus Judson and Hattie, Oliver Templemore, and Oxer Bettenbrooke. Wally has bedroom No. 1. The Erlangers are in Thelma’s old quarters. Hattie invited me in to see. It’s like the inside of a chocolate box.
8th April 1934
Hattie came in at seven, still in her wrap. She said, “I can’t sleep. I’ll absolutely burst if I don’t tell someone. Judson went down to get a glass of milk at about midnight, and he saw the back of HRH trotting along the corridor to Wally’s room. “So, it’s definite. How thrilling.”
Hattie says she isn’t convinced Ernest really had to go to Hamburg. She thinks he knows when he’s beaten and is probably at Bryanston Court quietly licking his wounds.
She’s convening an emergency lunch for Tuesday. As she says, this is pretty momentous stuff.
9th April 1934, Wilton Place
Pips called first thing. She said, “Don’t even think of coming to lunch without getting the facts from Wally. We want to know where it started, when he crossed the Mason-Dixon Line, and when she’s going to meet his folks.”
Wally wasn’t playing. She said, “We’ve become close, yes, but I can’t say more. I’m just running out the door. I’ll see you later in the week.”
Violet feigned indifference. She said she was expecting the Yugoslavias any minute.
I said, “He wants to settle down. He told me himself.”
She said, “And he will settle down. It’s not widely known, but Wales is giving very serious consideration to Frederika of Hanover. And Prince George is on the brink, too. This could very well turn out to be the year of two royal weddings. Their Majesties would be so happy.”
Flora playing on the back stairs with Pigster wearing a wedding veil.
With George Lightfoot to the Gaiety Theatre. Anything Goes.
12th April 1934
Dinner at the Belchesters. Violet and Melhuish, Ambassador von Hoesch, Lady Desborough, and the Marquess of Graham. Mulligatawny soup, sweetbreads, baked apples. Billy Belchester was holding forth about HRH. He said, “He goes on these tours amongst the poor and makes sympathetic noises, and all it does is whip the working man into a fever of unrealistic hopes. Princes have no business expressing political opinions.”
Ettie Desborough said, “But the little people feel they can speak to him, and hope costs nothing.”
Jimmy Graham said, “Wales may be a small, loose cannon when he’s leaning over hovel gates patting urchins on the head, but Adolf Hitler looks upon him as a staunch future ally against the Russkies, and that’s a very important point.”
Dear Leo von Hoesch, always discretion itself, just smiled.
Violet said, “Anyway, His Majesty is alive and well, so what Wales does or doesn’t do hardly matters.”
All said looking very squarely at me.
13th April 1934
Wally’s dining at the Italian Embassy tonight. It’s something in honor of HRH.
14th April 1934
Gladys Trilling says Wally’s invitation to the Italians wasn’t so very great a coup.
Whitlow was there, and according to him, Wally was seated tables away from HRH. Practically in the street, Gladys says.
Invited to the Fort again for the 21st. Me, the Crosbies, Crokers, and the Otto Bismarcks. Pips and Freddie already have something arranged in the constituency, but Wally says they’ll have to chuck. You don’t say no to the Prince of Wales.
21st April 1934, Fort Belvedere
HRH was delayed on his return from prince-ing in Wales, and barely made it here in time for cockers. He said, “Sorry, darling. Are you managing to hold the fort?”
She was, indeed! She already has the air of the lady of the house. There’s been a little standoff between her and the butler over the stylish glass-and-chrome drinks’ cart she had delivered. He’s refusing to acknowledge its existence. Pips’s money is on Wally.
After dinner, we played a wonderful new board game brought along by Boss Croker. It’s called Finance. Otto Bismarck couldn’t get the hang of it at all. He bought properties that earned peanuts in rent, and ended up ruined, Wally bought up all the railroad companies, and HRH spent most of his time in jail, but he seemed to enjoy himself. We didn’t finish till two, and then he and Wally went downstairs and made us all bacon and eggs. “What fun!” he kept saying. “What jolly old fun!”
Ethel said he was like a boy who’d been allowed to stay up late with the grownups.
22nd April 1934
Found myself alone with HRH momentarily after breakfast. He said, “I hope you’re quite comfortable, Maybell.”
I said, “Sir, this is the most comfortable English house I’ve been in.”
He said, “I wish I could be here all the time. I always dread going back to York House. It’s nothing more than a place I have to sleep when I’m in town.”
Wally told me it isn’t palace-like at all. Just a warren of small rooms, quite unsuitable for entertaining. She says the whole place needs gutting.
I said, “Perhaps you could refurbish it. Wally’s good at houses.”
He said, “To tell you the truth, Maybell, I’m not interested in York House. I know Wally could do wonders with it. She has so much energy. But this is where I feel at home. I’m ready to put down roots, and this is where I’d like to do it. I’m going to be forty this year,
you know? Hard to believe, but I am.”
I don’t find it so hard to believe. His skin is really quite wrinkled. I’d have thought the Palace beauticians could have done something for him.
26th April 1934
Dinner at the Prosper Friths. Came: the Belchesters, George Lightfoot, the Habberleys, Melhuish and Violet. Belchester said, “Well Maybell, your Simpson friend has really shot her bolt this time. Dickie Mountbatten tells me Wales’s York House butler has been fired and it’s all her doing.”
Melhuish turned quite purple. He said, “If it’s true, then it’s a bloody outrage. That butler was given to him when he was first out of the nursery. Been with him for years.”
If that’s the case, it’s time he was pensioned off anyway.
Lightfoot said, “You know, for the past year, everyone’s been saying Wally Simpson’s a nobody. Extraordinary to think a nobody has that kind of power.”
I said, “Yes, unless the Prince of Wales has no mind of his own.” Melhuish said, “Precisely. And there’s the nub of it.”
I can always tell when I’ve rattled Melhuish. He plays with his earlobe.
27th April 1934
Wally says the York House butler was obstructive and insubordinate, and as old as Methuselah. He refused to put ice in the drinks, for one thing. Ernest is back tomorrow. They’re driving straight to the Perry Brownlows for the weekend. HRH is going to the royal estate at Sandringham to visit with the Majesties, so Ernest will have Wally all to himself.
To the Fergus Blythes for two nights, after much begging from Penelope. She says a host of interesting men coming, and she’s short of women.
29th April 1934, Leake Priory
A red-brick pile. It’s been in Penelope’s family since the seventeenth century. Walled gardens, a carp lake, and little outhouses where ice is stored. Surplus to requirement, in my opinion. Ice could be stored quite safely in the bedroom I’ve been allocated. The Mulberry Room. The drapes around the bed are my only hope of warmth tonight. Also, Penelope has very odd ideas as to “interesting” men. HRH’s silly equerry Oxer Bettenbrooke is here, and a chinless wonder called Algy, who has a spread in Somersetshire. Tommy Minskip had also been invited but never replied. Small mercies.
Penelope has squeezed every last drop of juice out of Wally’s story. She’s cast HRH as the ardent lover and Ernest as the husband who will be expected to absent himself on long tiger shoots. As I explained to her, Ernest’s account books keep him obligingly out of the way. There’ll be no need for any tigers to pay the price.
I said, “But time is hardly on Wally’s side. HRH is going to be forty. He has to hurry up and settle for one of these princesses. He has to produce an heir.”
She said, “Of course he must, but that needn’t affect Wally’s position. I’m sure he’ll be very glad of her advice. Just think of it, our friend will probably choose the next Queen of England! How exciting!’
Of course, it takes very little to excite Penelope. And I’d hardly describe Wally as her friend. “Acquaintance” would be more accurate.
Raining stair rods.
2nd May 1934, Wilton Place
To Bryanston Court. Wally wearing a new cocktail watch, pink gold accented with brilliants. She said she’s had it for years, but I know the inside of Wally’s jewelry case as well as I know my own. HRH didn’t appear at his usual hour, and no one else had been invited. Ernest was home by seven.
I said, “What’s this? Did they fire you?” He laughed. He said, “I made a particular effort, Maybell. I see so little of my wife these days.”
An awkward moment. I said, “Then why don’t I leave you to enjoy your evening together?”
Wally said, “You’ll stay to dinner, Maybell, exactly as we agreed.”
She must have known what was coming. We’d just refreshed our drinks when the maid announced that a car was outside, sent by the Prince. Wally showed no surprise and neither did Ernest. She was on her feet in a trice. She said, “In that case, you may serve Mr. Simpson and Mrs. Brumby their dinner on trays,” and she left. I wished myself anywhere else in the world.
We were brought some kind of overpiquant macaroni, and a macedoine of fruits. I played with mine, but Ernest ate every scrap and didn’t say a word until he’d put down his dessert spoon and lit his pipe. Then he said, “I expect you’re wondering why only Wally was sent for?”
I said, “I know she’s been advising him on refurbishments at York House.”
“Yes,” he said. “And His Royal Highness understands I have a business to attend to. Many evenings, I have papers to look through, and I can’t expect Wally to stay at home on my account. She’s damned vivacious woman, after all.”
He didn’t strike me as a man who felt wronged. Just a little lonely, maybe. Perhaps he doesn’t mind sharing Wally with HRH. Perhaps he really believes she’s just an advisor on royal drapes. He didn’t mention the Prince again all evening. He began fetching books from his library so I could admire their bindings. Then he was threatening to introduce me to the delights of Aeschylus, but fortunately, he was called to the telephone. Just as well. I was really in no mood for solemn music.
4th May 1934
Wally was tête-à-tête with Lady Cunard in the Grill Room this afternoon and barely gave me a flutter of her hand. She had better not forget who her friends were when she needed a silver fish-slice.
8th May 1934
Hattie Erlanger says it’s all over town that Thelma Furness isn’t the only one who’s been consigned to history. Thelma’s predecessor, Freda Dudley Ward, had still been fondly regarded even though retired with full honors, but as of this week, the switchboard at York House has refused to put her calls through.
Hattie said, “Wally really seems to be the one and only golden girl.”
Wally may be the flavor of the month, but she’s no girl. She tampers with her birth date. Her eyes are a pretty shade of mauve, and she has a retentive mind, but that’s the best one can say for her. Her hands are very coarse, she laughs like a jackass, and she doesn’t have a cent.
George Lightfoot says lack of money won’t matter, because HRH will take care of her expenses. He predicts Ernest will be offered some kind of ennoblement or be encouraged to live overseas with a tootsie. Or both.
10th May 1934
Mr. Hitler’s new special envoy is in town. Mr. Joachim Ribbentrop. Freddie met him and came away quite reassured about Germany’s rearmament intentions. Pips says the wife looks like an accident in a lace shop. Leo von Hoesch is giving a little dinner on Friday so HRH can meet them. Melhuish and Violet are also invited. Rory has an exeat this weekend. We may go to the Zoological Gardens.
13th May 1934
Yesterday to the Gorilla House with Rory, Flora, and Doopie. Flora’s pig puppet, formerly Pigster, has been renamed “Mrs. Simpson,” but not within earshot of Violet.
Rory said, “Daddy went to dinner at the Germans and the Wally was there. He said it was a damned disgrace and it’s a good thing Mummy has an abscess and couldn’t go, because it would have been an insult to have to sit at the same table. Why would it?”
I said, “I have no idea. We were all at school together, you know. Would you cut an old school friend?”
He said, “Only if he were a complete bounder. But ladies can’t be bounders.”
I looked in on Violet when I dropped them off. Her face is still very swollen. Melhuish fussing over her. He kept saying, “You never get ill, Vee. I don’t ever remember you getting ill.”
He said he’s not sure about Mr. Ribbentrop. “A second-rater, if you ask me,” he said. “A bit of a buffoon, if I’m not mistaken.”
I said, “And did Wally shine?”
“Wally!” he said. “Don’t bring up that name. It was a bloody affront, and Wales should know better. Dragging his popsie here, there, and everywhere. In fact, I’m thinking of bringing it up with him. I think it’s time someone gave him a friendly rocket over a spot of lunch.”
Violet said, “Don’t
do that, dear. Much better if one of the Royalties pulls him back into line. Why don’t I mention it to Elizabeth York when I see her? She could get Bertie to say something, or, better still, pass it on to someone with His Majesty’s ear. Let it go through the usual channels.”
He said, “Good idea! You are a clever girl. Even when you’re ailing you know the best thing to do.”
I called Wally to warn her. She just laughed. She said, “What do they imagine they can do? Send me to Australia? They’re too late, Maybell. David can’t manage without me, and there’s not a damned thing any of them can do about it.”
16th May 1934
To Ciro’s with Wally, the Crokers, the Erlangers, Whitlow Trilling, and, at Wally’s suggestion, the Ribbentrops, or the von Ribbentrops, as she now insists. He’s fair, pale eyes, sounds more like a Canadian than a German. The wife smiles all the time and talks about her children. Wally says she’s the one with the money. Her people are in champagne. He danced Wally off her feet, in the absence of both her husband and her Prince.
Ethel said, “Look at her! Did you ever see such a flirt? I’m going to keep Boss glued to my side.”
Hattie said, “Relax, Ethel. I don’t think anyone trumps the Prince of Wales. Not Mr. Hitler’s envoy, and certainly not Boss.”
The Crokers’ entire Ascot party is invited to Fort Belvedere for Wally’s birthday. Ernest finds he has to be in New York, however.
Ethel said, “How very obliging of him.”
Gone With the Windsors Page 17
