“Oops,” one of the women innocently states with a plain snigger. She shamelessly holds and totes the emptied glass in her hand and shrugs at me as if the water spilling onto me were a mere accident.
But I scoff and glare at the malicious trio while wiping my face dry. "What are you even doing-"
"Mistakes happen, Audrey," the intimidating woman rudely interjects in a loud voice as she takes a big step forward in my direction while staring me down at the same time. The distinct click of her heavy footsteps in high heels brings her so close to me that our chests are practically touching each other by the time she stops walking. There is barely any personal space in between us aside from a small intentional gap left behind so that she doesn't get wet from touching me.
"But I'm sure you understand what I mean when I say that seeing as how you're the biggest mistake here," the woman delicately adds in a pitying tone of voice.
My hand slowly tightens into a fist as my unyielding gaze continues to stubbornly challenge her without backing down. Even though I can tell my body is still in extreme shock from the cold temperature and wet splash that unexpectedly rattled me awake, my immediate gut reaction after hearing the woman show her unnecessary condolences for me is to prove her wrong and tell her off with a professional smile. The fiery words are already hanging at the tip of my tongue when I suddenly freeze up at the touch of her hand gently brushing my hair back behind my ear. She neatly tucks the wet strands away from my face, the icy tip of her finger even colder than the temperature of my soaked body.
“People like you should know their place,” she softly speaks while lowering her hardened gaze down to meet my eyes. “I don't know what it is that Rylan sees in you, but I do know that he definitely deserves better than a cheap and classless woman like you. It's embarrassing how much of an eyesore you don't realize you are in public."
I loosen my grip and weakly sigh in defeat. The remaining strength and willpower that I have been using to boldly stand up for myself swiftly leaves my body as the heavy impact of the woman's blunt words cut me down with one single blow. I don't know what to say anymore to refute her harsh claims when the panicked voice in my head is meekly agreeing with every terrible thing that she has said about me. It doesn't matter how unreasonable and untrue I realize her statements sound or seem when my mind is heavily clouded by my own weakness and negativity. All I can feel is the lethal force of her words completely tearing me apart just like Rylan did to me that day he made me understand the clear differences between us.
In the end, it looks like rich people all just think the same exact way. They see people like me as nothing.
The ruthless woman eventually withdraws her hand from my face as the new sound of cheerful voices floats down the hallway. She quietly scoffs and glances at me one last time before brushing past me with a hard bump against my shoulder, her shameless posse quickly following her lead as they walk by me with a sneer on their lips. But I continue to stand frozen in place with the water dripping down my chest while the distinct click of the woman's heel resonates in my head. The poignant sound of her footsteps is the only noise that I can hear in my mind until a familiar voice calls my name from a distance: "Audrey!"
I steadily turn toward the voice and find Rylan sprinting down the hall where he rushes over to my side. His blue eyes immediately bulge with surprise as he notices the wet and soaked state that I am in.
“Are-are you all right?” the man asks while he scrambles to find and take out his handkerchief for me.
"I'm fine," I answer without meeting his eyes. The last thing I want to see in his stare right now is any sort of pity toward me, especially since I feel like I may just end up breaking down into tears from all of the emotions that are building up inside of me and from the humiliation I'm still trying to endure in front of him and everyone else who is watching us.
"You don't look fine," Rylan insists with a sigh as he shakes his head at me. "Besides, it's really unlike you to let people walk all over you like that.”
A chuckle of disbelief suddenly escapes me from listening to the man patronize me as if he could ever understand what it's like to be in my position when my hands are basically tied behind my back. In fact, the seemingly sound statement that he makes is so utterly pointless and useless under the current circumstances that I can't help but let out another delirious laugh in front of him. It must be so easy for Rylan to say and do whatever he wants without ever actually putting himself in my shoes. But that's also the part about him which happens to hurt me the most. It's the clear and obvious disconnect between me and him that he cannot relate with or see beyond, the fine line that ultimately divides my world from his world.
We're more than just worlds apart. We're galaxies apart.
“Oh, and what do you exactly expect me to do instead, Rylan?” I quietly snap. “Yell at them? Pour my own drink on them? Because, you know, I would honestly love to, but the only problem is that I don’t want to cause a scene and make you look bad. I know better than to ruin my boss’ reputation with another needless scandal due to my lack of restraint in tolerating an honest little accident made by one of his very important acquaintances.”
By the time I get to the end of my mini-tirade of frustration, I can already feel my eyes watering and my entire body shaking all over. Just one simple blink of my eyes is all that it takes for the tears to begin falling and streaming down my cheeks. I can barely keep my legs grounded on the floor from all the pent-up emotion that is eager and desperate to break free of my self-control of it. There's nothing I want to do more in the moment than to cry out all of the sorrow and pain that I've been secretly harboring in my heart by myself, but I hold those destructive feelings back at bay long enough to put on a strong front and appearance for him one last time.
I staunchly wipe the tears off of my face and swallow down the rage that is slowly swelling up within my throat long enough for me to eventually find the sound of my own voice. “Now, if you would please excuse me, I need to go and dry myself off. Wouldn't want to make you look bad in front of all the people and cameras that are constantly watching us,” I grimly state.
My bitter stare briefly locks onto Rylan's icy blue eyes before I promptly turn away from him in sheer disappointment. Even though his sullen gaze expresses hints of remorse and regret over everything that has happened to me, his lack of actions and words prove otherwise. All he can do is silently watch my back grow smaller in the distance as I gradually walk away from him. There is no sound of his running footsteps coming over to stop me and no sound of his voice to gently console or apologize to me. There is only the sound of the weak and pathetic voice ringing in my head to remind me of how big of a fool I am for falling in love with someone like him.
Tears begin to stream down my face as I softly laugh at my own misfortune. There's really no one to blame but myself for the miserable way that I am currently feeling right now. After all, Rylan specifically warned me not to fall for him, yet I did exactly just that. All of this anguish and grief trapped inside my heart could have been entirely avoided if I just kept to my words of never falling in love with him while keeping a good distance from him. If only these troublesome feelings of mine weren't involved in the situation, I wouldn't have to deal with so much pain and suffering from the judgmental glances and whispers that everyone gives me when they realize who I am -- I would finally be able to hold my head high and be proud of who I've become.
But I don't think I can ever be truly satisfied with myself when these raw emotions and feelings I hold toward Rylan stand in my way. I can never completely let go of my shortcomings and imperfections with confidence nor will I ever be capable of tuning out the never-ending criticism from the world with dignity and poise. The only thing that can really save me from this misery and torture is letting go of my affection for him. I need to remove my lively spirit and passion when I'm around him and cut out the unrealistic hopes and expectations that naturally surface when he spends time with me.
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This is the only way I'll be able to keep on doing my job as Teagan's nanny -- and that has always been my number one priority. There's clearly no room for love in a cold and harsh place like this which is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. But just for today, I'll keep those fragile feelings close to my heart before finally locking them away for good. Today is the last day that I will mourn for them.
Tomorrow will be a new day and a new me.
Chapter 7 - Rylan
"We're here!" Teagan exclaims with a big smile as the car gradually comes to a full stop.
The little girl restlessly bounces in her seat and then hops out of the vehicle as soon as Crane opens up the passenger door for us. I quietly follow her lead and step out into the daylight where the peaceful calm of nature gently greets me with open arms. Yet my gaze immediately looks up toward the sky from the moment I get out of the car. I have to squint and shield my eyes from the brilliant rays which naturally pierce through the large clouds and the tall trees. It's a bright and sunny day today -- a rare phenomena considering every past annual visit has been rainy these past few years.
How unusual.
I am still in the midst of admiring the clear skies and fine weather when Teagan decides to take a head start and run up the long winding path by herself. Her neat black dress floats and flounces as she sprints up the steps with her small bouquet in hand. I weakly smile at the high level of energy and spirit that she has in spite of where we are. Though I suppose that it's good to see that at least one of us has some kind of positive news to share and report back because God knows I sure as hell don't have much to say about what has happened this year.
However, my legs have yet to take their first steps forward onto the stretched path when Audrey suddenly calls my name: "Rylan."
My heart tightens and skips a beat from the unexpected sound of her voice saying my name out loud. Even though I am the one who originally told her to use my first name to fully sell the image and idea of our romance and relationship, I still can't get used to hearing her say it sometimes. There's just something strangely intimate and affectionate about the manner in which she speaks my name, and I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit to liking it. Hearing her call me by my first name instead of the usual 'Mr. Bennett' simply suits her more.
The brunette turns toward me with a nervous and hesitant expression on her face. “Are you sure that this is okay? Is it really all right for me to be here?" she asks.
I smile and nod my head in response. “Yeah, Teagan highly insisted on it. She really wanted to introduce you to her. It's probably part of the reason why she's extra excited today.”
Audrey's brown eyes greatly widen in surprise upon hearing my words of reassurance. She appears to be completely taken aback albeit touched by my forward answer which was clearly not what she was expecting to hear given the intent and reason behind our little trip. However, her speechless stare shifts over to the energetic little girl where she quietly watches her move around as the tension gradually fades from her deeply furrowed brow. A look of relief spreads across her face while she softly chuckles.
“I see. Then I suppose we should start to head up there before Teagan wonders what we're still doing down here,” Audrey says.
I nod in agreement while Crane walks over to my side with a large bouquet of flowers resting in his grasp. He takes a slight pause before silently handing the colorful arrangement over to me which I slowly accept into my arms. The delicate and fresh scent of the flowers gently tickles my nose as I take a whiff of them. They're exactly the kind of flowers that she would have loved to see and smell for herself if she were still alive today.
A wistful sensation sweeps through my chest as I nonchalantly reminisce about the past. I find it difficult to believe that it's already been five years since she's been gone. Time has honestly flown by in the blink of an eye, especially after noticing and seeing how much Teagan has grown since then. She no longer needs me to carry her in my arms or for me to hold her hand while we walk up the stairs. Now she boldly moves forward and ahead on her own without my help.
Tch.
Kids -- they just grow up too damn fast.
The sudden realization of how much time has passed since I've started coming to this place every single year makes me take a deep breath and then sigh. I cannot believe it's already been another whole year when I can still clearly remember our last visit as though it were only yesterday. However, a lot has certainly changed and happened this past year which evidently sets it apart from the rest. This is the first year that I'm coming here with someone new -- someone who I never would have expected could make such a big impact on both my life and Teagan's. Someone who I think could have been extremely good friends with her considering how similar their personalities are.
The beautiful bouquet of flowers softly rustles within my hands as I throw my head back toward the clear blue sky. Although I don't believe in the supernatural or the paranormal at all, I can't help but feel like she's carefully watching over me right now. And with that strange thought and sentiment in mind, I finally begin to move up the steps to catch up with Teagan who looks to be already more than halfway there to the gravestone marker. The gentle sound of Audrey's light footsteps quietly accompanies me as we walk side by side together in the comfortable silence until we eventually reach the tombstone.
My legs naturally stop right in front of the grey headstone which remains as neat and spotless as ever thanks to Crane's diligence. I look down and notice that Teagan has already set down her flowers on the memorial, her colorful offering livening up the dull gravestone's atmosphere. The sweet floral scent drifts into my nose as I kneel down beside the little girl and place my large bouquet right next to hers. I silently admire and stare at the peaceful sight when Audrey suddenly comes up behind me and leaves a small gift of her own -- a single red rose that appears to be at the peak of its bloom.
“I’ll let you guys have some space and privacy. There's probably a lot that you have to say to her,” the nanny states with a smile as she takes a step back and walks off to the side with Crane.
“Hi, mommy. It’s been a long time, hasn't it?” Teagan says in a low yet spirited voice. She faces the grave with an earnest expression as if her mother were actually there, her blue eyes looking down at the ground in deep thought and contemplation of what to say to her.
“Oh! Remember last time I told you that I was feeling lonely because Daddy is always too busy with work? Well, I’m not lonely anymore because I have Audrey with me now,” the little girl enthusiastically adds while her lips curve into a huge smile. “We go camping and have lots of fun together. She’s really nice to me. I like her a lot, so you don’t have to worry about me too much. Just take care of Daddy more because he looks a lot more sad lately.”
What?
I instantly raise my brow at Teagan after hearing her words. “I’m not sad-”
The little girl slowly turns her head toward me and sends a glare over in my direction. She stares at me without saying anything before she delicately sighs and continues. "See what I mean, mommy? He's even trying to lie to you about it. But I'll make sure he's okay and update you on what’s going on again next year. I love you.”
Teagan kisses her fingers and places them against the gravestone marker. My heart gently squeezes at the sight of the gesture which she still seems to remember even though it was something that I taught her a long time ago in the past. It was a little white lie which I told the crying young child on a whim so that she would stop her tears for a moment to give her respects to her mother -- a lie that gave her the power of a magical kiss that could transcend death. But I have a strong feeling that Teagan knows that the magic isn't real by now. She seems to just be doing it for the sake of keeping up with the annual ritual that she has made up for herself.
Yet after a few moments of sitting in the silence, I watch the young girl slowly get up and brush the dirt off of her black dress. She innocently smiles
at me before suddenly stepping over to give me a brief hug. Although her small arms can barely wrap themselves completely around me, the warmth that comes along with her tender embrace strangely comforts me. I can still feel slight traces of Teagan's soothing presence in my chest even as she lets go of me and leaves me behind in front of the grave all by myself.
A weary sigh eventually parts from my lips as I hesitantly lift my head to face the tombstone. There's usually not much I have to tell her aside from the events and stories that typically revolve around Teagan's life. But this is the first year something big has happened in my own life, and I don't know where to even begin with my story. Everything would be a lot easier to admit and talk about if I had nothing but positive experiences to report back on, yet I can't simply do that when there is just too much for me to be ashamed of -- things that I know she would surely give me a hard time about if she were alive to hear about it.
From putting Audrey in the center of a giant spotlight that she's never been under to cruelly playing with her fragile emotions as if she wasn't a person, I have done a huge injustice to her given how much she has done for the family. My guilt toward her has gotten so bad that there are times when I wonder if she'll quit on her own due to the pressure of the job just so I wouldn't have to face the shame in everything I've done to hurt her. After all, there's nothing worse than seeing someone I care about crying by herself and then actively doing nothing about it to help her. But what makes the situation even harder for me to deal with is how persistent and tenacious she is in front of any of the obstacles that are thrown her way.
Billionaire Daddy's Contract: A Single Dad and Nanny Romance Page 15
