As she listened to the conversation between him and his parents, she caught a glimpse of a much younger Xander, the one who looked up to his father as though the man had hung the moon. When Stan mentioned he’d had chest pains, Xander’s entire demeanor had changed and right before her very eyes, he let down that guard he kept in place at all times.
She’d wanted to wrap her arms around him so that she could latch onto him until the moment passed.
But she didn’t.
And then, as though nothing had happened, Xander’s walls fell back in place, and he transformed into the professional she knew him to be. Even if this was as far from a business setting as they could get.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” Stan assured Xander. “I’ve gone in for a few more tests and they haven’t found anything.”
“I don’t want you to hide that from me again,” Xander stated bluntly, the full brunt of his fear on his father.
Mercedes couldn’t imagine what he was feeling.
“You’ve got more important things to worry about than me,” his father told him.
“Bullshit,” Xander ground out through clenched teeth, his eyes narrowing. “Nothing is more important.”
Mercedes knew that Xander loved his parents. He was close to them in ways Mercedes had never known personally. She’d been introduced to Stella and Stan years ago, spent plenty of time with them when they were in town because Xander was always inviting her.
As she watched them, she had a craving to feel that emotion he very rarely showed to be turned on her. Would he look at her as though the entire world revolved around her?
Did she want him to?
The last question wasn’t easy to answer mainly because she was confused. About everything.
“How’re things with you?” Stan asked, and Mercedes realized he was talking to her.
“Good. Really busy right at the moment.”
“The housing market’s making a comeback, huh?”
Mercedes knew Stan wasn’t all that interested in talking about real estate, but she sensed he was doing his best to change the subject, so she responded, “Looks that way.”
“Tell us about Ohio,” Xander interrupted, saving Mercedes at the very last moment. When she looked up into his eyes, she saw something she’d never seen before.
And this time, she was the one whose chest was tightening.
But this had nothing to do with pain.
An hour and a half later, Xander was walking Mercedes back to the limo. They’d both walked his parents to their car, and after Xander said a few brief words to his mother, they were on their way.
When they reached the car, the driver opened it for her, and then Xander spoke to the man as she climbed inside. The only words she could make out were “detour” and “scenic route”. Although she pretended not to hear anything, Mercedes’s heart rate sped up.
Rightfully so as it turned out because the moment Xander climbed into the limo behind her, she noticed the intense expression on his face.
“Come here,” he ordered, his tone laced with nothing but pure dominance.
She complied easily, without question. Or reservation.
There wasn’t a lot of room to maneuver in the backseat of the limousine, but there was enough. For what she sensed he wanted anyway.
Xander spread his legs and guided her onto her knees on the floor between them. She kept her eyes locked with his, waiting for his next command.
“Unfasten my pants,” he told her.
Mercedes did.
“Put your hands on my cock.”
She did that too.
All the while, she continued to stare into his eyes. Xander might’ve been fighting the emotion that was tearing him up inside, but she could feel it radiating from him. He might’ve been commanding her, but there was a plea in his eyes. He needed this.
He needed her.
Mercedes continued to stroke him slowly, watching him as she did. Xander shifted, forcing his slacks down farther, freeing his cock completely.
“I want to feel your mouth on me,” he said huskily.
Mercedes didn’t say a word, doing as he wanted. And she didn’t do it because he ordered her to. She did it because she wanted to. She wanted to relieve him of his pain, whatever was eating away at him, she wanted to soothe him. And if this were what he needed from her, she’d gladly offer it.
It was a true testament to everything she’d been feeling for him lately.
Being a submissive – his submissive – wasn’t at all what she’d thought it would be. Giving up control to someone was not that easy, but when it came to Xander, Mercedes found that she was willing to do damn near anything to please him. Even if she still held back at times. Even if she still had a burning urge to dominate him, to prove to them both that she wasn’t the type of woman to be walked on.
Although, Xander had proven in recent days that submissive didn’t mean she was being reduced to less of a person. The opposite actually. She felt empowered when she was with Xander, especially when he was looking at her the way he was now.
Lowering her head, she swiped at the head of his cock gently, just a breath of air and the very tip of her tongue. Xander’s thighs tightened, and Mercedes continued.
To her surprise, Xander didn’t put his hands in her hair. He didn’t try to guide her mouth to his cock, nor did he try to thrust up into her mouth. No, he let her lead, allowed her to take control although they both knew he was still dominating every single second they were together.
Xander’s hands fisted at his sides, proving that he was holding back. It only made her want to push him harder. Using every skill she possessed, Mercedes did her best to drive him crazy. Adding her hands to the mix, she tugged at his slacks, forcing them down to his knees, cupping his balls, kneading them gently while she continued to lick and suck, never moving too quickly. She wanted him to let go, to finally let go.
But he didn’t.
Just when she thought he was going to lose it, Xander moved, pulling her up from the floor until she was straddling his legs. He crushed his mouth to hers, sliding his fingers into her hair and holding her close. His other hand moved around to her back, gliding beneath her shirt and caressing her skin gently.
“Let me feel you,” she told him when their mouths separated. “Let me feel you inside me.”
Since she had on a skirt, it wasn’t difficult to adjust herself so that she could take him. The only thing in their way was her panties but to her surprise, Xander made quick work of that by ripping them off of her.
That made two pair. And yes, it was just as hot the second time to have him desperate enough to rip her clothes off.
Pleasure ignited in her core. A burning lust that had only been smoldering for the last few hours, never completely burning itself out. And now, it flared into a blaze of heat so powerful, she wasn’t sure she’d survive it.
When Xander guided himself inside of her, Mercedes let him. She let him control everything from that point because the only thing she could focus on was how good he felt as he thrust inside her over and over.
He pulled her mouth back to his, kissing her until she could hardly breathe, hardly think for wanting him.
“Mercedes,” he growled her name as he pulled his lips from hers. But he didn’t move away, he just held her to him as she continued to lift and lower herself onto him while he met her thrust for thrust.
~*~*~*~
Xander was losing control. He was a wreck, and he had a feeling that Mercedes knew it. At the moment, the only thing that was keeping him together was her arms around him. He was so lost in her, he feared he was going to say something that would send her running from him, but he couldn’t seem to focus.
The way her body clasped him, pulling him deeper, holding him tighter, Xander didn’t ever want it to end.
Never.
He wanted to feel her surrounding him just like this for the rest of his goddamn life.
Never had he lost control like this.
He didn’t even know he was capable of it.
It was the emotional overload, he knew that much. Between what he was feeling for her and what he’d learned at lunch, he wasn’t doing a good job of keeping the emotion on lockdown.
“Look at me.”
Mercedes’s voice called to him, and he lifted his head, meeting her gaze. God, he loved this woman. He’d cared about her for a long time, he’d even loved her. But not like this. Not with all that he was and all that he ever would be.
It didn’t have a damn thing to do with the sex, although he wasn’t quite sure two people had ever been more perfect for one another. In all of his life, after all of the women he’d been with, never had he felt this. This blazing inferno that scorched him to his very soul. Mercedes was all that he wanted, all that he needed and the world could probably come crashing down around them, and he just wouldn’t care.
“Aww, fuck,” he groaned when she tightened her muscles around him.
Gripping her hips to still her, Xander sucked in a breath, trying his damnedest not to lose complete control.
“Let go, X. Let go for me,” Mercedes encouraged.
Looking into the brilliant gray depths of her eyes, Xander realized she wasn’t trying to top him. She just wanted him to let go. To give in to her.
Shifting, he lifted her slightly and angled himself so that he could thrust up into her, driving his cock deeper, harder. He was in control, but so was she even if she didn’t realize it.
“M,” he growled.
“Come for me,” she said, her hands coming to rest on his face, holding him so that he had no choice but to look at her. “Come with me.”
“Fuck!” he growled, his release pulled from him by her and the sweet words that shredded him from the inside out.
He continued to drive up inside of her until she was groaning, her hands tightening on his face, but she kept her eyes on him.
“Come for me, baby,” he said softly. “Let me feel all of you.”
With that, Mercedes came, her eyes never closing and what he saw reflecting back at him gave him hope.
Chapter Thirty
Day Five…
Monday
Tossing and turning as the dream pulled her deeper, no matter how hard she tried, Mercedes couldn’t force herself awake so she let it consume her.
The clock on the wall read just after five when Mercedes stepped into her condo. Having just finished with a rather intense meeting with a pain in the ass client, she was ready for a little downtime.
More than ready.
Glancing around, she noticed that everything seemed the same as when she’d left early that morning. Her housekeeper had come by, but that was the only evidence that anyone else had been there.
But there was someone else who was supposed to be waiting for her. Because she’d instructed him to before she’d left that morning.
Xander would be there. She knew it.
Because that’s what he would do. He would follow the rules to the letter, do exactly as she instructed. Without question. Without argument.
It wasn’t real. He wasn’t a sub. But she was sure he’d play the part because that was what they’d agreed to.
Of all the subs she’d taken in the years she’d been a Domme, Xander would be by far the most obedient, even if he’d only been acting as her sub for just a few short hours.
For whatever reason, his unerring ability to please her was starting to drive her a little crazy. First it had been a phone call, his easy ability to call her Mistress. And the emails from him, letting her know what he was doing and where he was going.
He was the perfect pet. Compliant, obedient, always agreeing. She knew she should be counting her blessings, but found even that difficult because this wasn’t Xander. The man whose body had become that of a subservient submissive lacked something.
Emotion.
Then again, she was pretty sure Xander did that on purpose, although she would never accuse him of topping from the bottom. He knew what she wanted, what she expected. And vice versa. They’d been friends long enough that they understood each other that well.
During their brief few days together, Xander had allowed her to explore a part of herself that she hadn’t known still existed. He had driven her to want things she swore she didn’t want. But it was him. Only him who made her want these things.
But today was supposed to be the day that everything would change.
For both of them.
Quickly ridding herself of the killer heels she’d been wearing for the last few hours, Mercedes snatched them up in her hands before carrying them into her bedroom. When she stepped into the master bedroom, her beautiful sub was kneeling on the floor facing the door, his glorious body on display for her. She shut the door with a gentle click to alert him of her presence and then let her eyes roam over him.
His hands rested on his thighs, his cock semi-erect between them. His collar, the one she’d surprised him with just that morning, was around his neck; a thick, black leather collar that fit him perfectly. She’d left it on the dresser before she left for work. Another point in his favor – he’d found it and read the instructions.
The only other things on Xander’s incredible body were the nipple piercings and the magnificent tattoos that decorated his otherwise perfect skin.
As she moved slowly across the room, she could see the word “Trust” tattooed on his side, following the rigid line of muscle that arrowed down toward his groin.
“Have you been there long?” she asked as she moved toward the bathroom.
“No, Mistress.”
She didn’t say anything more even though the fact that he’d referred to her as “Mistress” should have thrilled her immensely. Just like every other time he’d said it throughout the day, it sounded hollow, and that bothered her.
Instead, she left him kneeling while she went through the oversized bathroom to her closet. Once inside, she put her shoes back in their place and then proceeded to change clothes. Her office attire wouldn’t do for tonight. She had an image to uphold after all.
Twenty minutes later, she ventured back into the bedroom, completely dressed. On the other side of the room, lying on the top of her dresser were the clothes she’d personally picked out for him to wear to the club tonight. After retrieving the pair of leather pants, a black t-shirt which would be removed as soon as they were inside, and his black lace-up boots, she returned to where he was still kneeling on the floor.
Before she asked him to rise, she admired him some more. Hell, seeing him on his knees, doing exactly as she’d instructed was heady enough, but the idea that he might be doing it solely to please her made her burn for him.
Sub or not, Xander truly was the most immaculate male specimen she’d ever seen. Without an ounce of fat on his body, the man weighed somewhere near two-seventy-five, give or take a few pounds. At six-foot-six-inches, he was massive, and Mercedes, not being one of those slight, skinny women, appreciated every single inch of him. In comparison, she felt incredibly feminine and sometimes even fragile when his arms were around her.
“Stand,” she instructed as she set his clothes on the bed next to where he was kneeling.
When he was upright, Mercedes moved in close, letting her body brush slightly against his nakedness. Even at five-foot-eight-inches with her five inch heels adding even more to her height, Mercedes had to look up into Xander’s eyes.
The heat she hoped to see reflected there would’ve made her body warm another degree, but that’s not what she saw. No, what she witnessed in Xander’s beautiful green eyes was a void, as though he couldn’t think or feel for himself unless she told him exactly what to do.
She wasn’t fond of that look.
Their previous conversation rang loud in her head.
“Remember that night at Kink when you volunteered to let Mistress Desiree demonstrate on you because no one else had the balls to do it, how did that make you feel?”
“Like I was in someone else’s
body.”
That’s exactly what it was. He was somewhere else, but his body was there for her taking. He was doing as she wished, but his heart wasn’t in it.
Did she expect it would be?
Pushing the question out of her mind, she slid her hands, palms down, over his taut stomach, up over the thick planes of his chest and then around his neck, pulling his head down easily until her mouth met his.
“I missed you,” she whispered before pressing her lips to his. The kiss rapidly escalated, and Mercedes had to force herself to pull away from him. “Get ready, and we’ll leave in a few minutes,” she told him as she planted another short kiss on his lips.
“Yes, Mistress.”
That’s what she heard when he called her Mistress... Absolutely nothing. The word was right, but it was hollow.
Needing a moment to herself, Mercedes left the bedroom and headed to her guest bedroom where she kept her toys. She’d also stashed a few things she’d retrieved just that morning from Xander’s personal dungeon.
She wanted to add a couple of things to her bag tonight, toys she knew he had in his vast arsenal, the ones she’d eyed when they had previously visited his dungeon. Not that she needed any other toys for Xander because she’d already stocked up from her own collection, choosing exactly what she thought would make him lose his mind.
And that’s what she was going to do. She’d only been anticipating it since the day they’d made their deal. To prove to him that she wasn’t what he wanted her to be. She was a Domme.
Not wanting to waste any more time, she grabbed the items and made a beeline for the front door. It was time to do this.
Mercedes woke with a start, glancing around the room to find herself alone.
Holy crap.
Covering her eyes with her hands, she tried to calm her breaths. She was slowly going crazy, and that dream wasn’t helping.
It’d only been four days that she’d been practically glued to Xander’s side, pretty much handing herself over to him on a silver platter yet that dream continued to torment her and had since the first night she slept in his arms.
Perception Page 25
