by Lynne Curry
tation. More important, I urged her to reevaluate how she handled it
when her connections called her about the derogatory rumors.
CASSANDRA BEGAN THANKING those who reached out to her and
asked them where they’d heard the stories, which al owed her to trace
many of them back to Heather.
Cassandra then hired a forensic computer specialist to trace the posts
denouncing her on multiple Hotmail, Facebook, and Yahoo accounts.
She learned Heather was behind many of them.
Cassandra decided to permanently douse the many brushfires
Heather had started with a lightning strike. Several al ies arranged for her
to speak at an annual real estate convention. When Cassandra walked
to the podium she noticed Heather and her cronies at a table immedi-
ately in front of the dais, apparently hoping their presence would intim-
idate her.
When Cassandra spoke, she talked about how she’d grown her
career during lean years and how she’d honored those she’d learned
from. While Cassandra spoke, Heather and her associates whispered
to each other. Cassandra looked over their heads and maintained eye
contact with the rest of the audience.
She then detailed the defamation of her character and professional-
ism that had occurred over the past months, and announced that she’d
traced many of the posts and rumors to one person. When Cassandra
then looked straight at Heather, the room fell silent.
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Undoing a Character Assassin’s Wounds to Your Reputation ❚ 155
“This is the greatest test of courage I’ve ever faced,” Cassandra said.
“To stand before you and let you know I almost gave up when things got
ugly. If I had, you would not have seen me here today. But I am here. I
stand before you and I stand on my record.” One by one members of
the audience stood to applaud, as Heather slid from her seat and fled
the room.
Your Turn: Where Are You Now?
If you have not encountered a character assassin, imagine what
it would be like if you had, and answer the fol owing questions
accordingly.
1. Has a character assassin ever targeted you? What did he or
she do?
2. How did the behavior affect you? How did it affect others?
3. How did the behavior affect morale and productivity?
4. What did you do to cope? What did others do to cope?
What worked? What didn’t?
5. What did you learn from that experience?
6. What would you do differently in the future?
7. What advice would you give to someone facing character
assassination?
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
19
THE NEWEST CHARACTER
ASSASSIN: THE CYBERBULLY
The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear
defeat without losing heart.
—ROBERT GREEN INGERSOLL
AFTER MAEVE LANDED THE sales manager position, she learned
that a wel -liked internal candidate had applied for the job but
had been passed over. During Maeve’s first week, the unlucky candi-
date and his closest friend resigned and took jobs with a competitor.
Then, without warning, Maeve’s world exploded. Within a few days,
Internet postings appeared accusing Maeve of landing the job by
sleeping with her new boss, complete with explicit photos showing the
back of a woman’s head, her hairstyle resembling Maeve’s. Other posts
appeared, al egedly from Maeve’s former coworkers, claiming Maeve’s
sales track record resulted from her sexual prowess.
Maeve felt dehumanized and helpless. She considered responding
but felt any response might fan the flames. Her new boss and coworkers,
however, believed that her lack of response indicated either weakness
or an implicit acknowledgment of the truth of the accusations. Their ini-
tial warm welcome evaporated, and Maeve emotional y shivered in the
frosty chill.
A high-tech lynch mob had successful y hacked Maeve’s reputation.
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The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 157
Have cyberbullies gone after you? What causes cyberbullies to
attack? What options do you have when they dump on you?
FREEDOM TO BULLY: THE MASK OF ANONYMITY
Pseudonyms and usernames allow cyberbullies to conceal their real
identities on the Internet. This personal anonymity, coupled with
membership in a faceless crowd, can create a situation in which some
people sink to the lowest common denominator.
In one famous example, trick-or-treaters were invited to take can-
dies left beside cash on a table in the front hall of a home. Eighty per-
cent of those who arrived in groups and wore masks stole the money
in contrast to 8 percent of the trick-or-treaters who arrived singly and
without masks.
Absence of Social Constraints and Consequences
Online disinhibition, the loosening or complete abandonment of
social inhibitions present in normal face-to-face interactions, can
unleash needs and emotions that dwell below the surface. This emo-
tional catharsis allows some Internet users to become less guarded
and those with repressed anger to vent it online.
The fear of reprisal squashes unbridled personal attacks in face-
to-face interactions. On the Internet, many character assassins voice
inflammatory opinions freely, without worrying they’ll lose a job or
friend. Cyberbullies create far-reaching, even worldwide drama, gen-
erally free from consequences. If they go too far and provoke coun-
terattacks, they can simply press reset and not log in again under that
username or in that forum. They exit the scene even as the damage
they’ve caused remains forever and may even go viral.
The Internet thus empowers character assassins and increases
their sway and reach exponentially, leading them to attack without
fear those they perceive as vulnerable.
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158 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
False Belief That “It’s Not Personal”
Because Internet users can’t see each other, they don’t always con-
sider those they tweet or comment about as real people; this allows
them to dissociate cruel remarks from the hurt their posts cause.
A University of Haifa study revealed that those forced to maintain
eye contact were half as likely to be hostile as those whose eyes did
not meet.1
In one such instance, Tammy Blakey, the first female Continental
Airlines pilot to fly the Airbus A300, experienced this depersonaliza-
tion. Continental Airlines pilots and crew members used an Inter-
net-based Crew Members Forum to learn their work schedules, receive
flight information, and exchange views. When Blakey logged on, she
found multiple posts describing her as a weak pilot who destroyed an
engine, crashed a floatplane, and caused $250,000 in damage to a
plane by flying it in a hailstorm.
Need to Create a Feeding Frenzy
Internet trolls sow discord by starting arguments or
posting inflam-
matory comments with the deliberate intent of provoking emotional
responses. They feed off others’ comments. For them, the Inter-
net’s widespread, instantaneous access and their ability to inflict
far-reaching damage with just one text, post, or email message proves
irresistible.
REAL-WORLD TACTICS THAT WORK
Cyberbullies, like other character assassins, realize that repeatedly
bombarding their target with one-sided information devastates the
target and sways other people’s opinions. However, you can take
action against them.
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The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 159
Tactic #1: Launch a Counterattack
WHEN MAEVE STEPPED back and examined her situation, she realized
that the two bul ies weren’t her biggest problem. Instead, because she
hadn’t responded to the cyberbul ying barrage, her coworkers believed
the al egations. Maeve decided not to take it lying down. She met with
her new boss and asked him to convene a company meeting so she
could set the record straight. He agreed; after al , his reputation was also
at stake.
At the meeting she asked attendees to imagine that they’d accepted
a job for which an internal candidate was considered a shoo-in and
then to imagine that their reputation was trashed by anonymous post-
ings, and that their only recourse was to take the high road or add fuel
to the flames. “That’s what happened to me, and, without any evidence
that those postings are true, you’ve ‘voted me off the island.’ But how
can I convince you that I’m tel ing the truth; all I can say is that those
postings are vengeful lies.” Maeve’s genuine appeal melted the frosty
chil , and one by one her new coworkers apologized for letting a cyber-
bul y trash a new employee.
Tactic #2: Trace and Collect Evidence
If you receive threatening messages on your cell phone via text mes-
saging, save the texts and trace the phone number through a reverse
look-up directory or by searching for the phone number on Google,
and then report the harassment to the mobile phone provider.
If cyberbullies haunt you on social media, print and save the
posts as evidence and report the inappropriate messages to Internet
service providers, which can trace and take action against posters
who violate their abuse policy. Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and
Instagram all have online mechanisms for reporting abusive con-
tent. Twitter banned, for life, the users who sent graphic photos of
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160 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
a corpse to Zelda Williams, daughter of Robin Williams, after the
comedian’s tragic death. Most social media services and apps allow
you to block individuals.
Obtain a Cyberstalking Injunction. If you suspect a specific
individual of cyberbullying you, you can file a civil action against
him or her. Your attorney can then use a civil subpoena to obtain
the person’s IP (Internet Protocol) address log-in record. If you need
initial evidence to support the subpoena, a computer security spe-
cialist can track many cyberbully postings using the IP address.
Some coworker cyberbullies foolishly use their employer’s technol-
ogy to go after you. In those cases, your IT manager can help you
collect evidence.
If you obtain evidence that a bully has repeatedly used electronic
communication to cause you substantial emotional distress through
defamatory content, you may be able to secure a non-molestation
order or cyberstalking injunction. A judge-granted ex parte cyber-
stalking injunction starts immediately. If you secure a final injunction,
it lasts forever.
Protect Yourself; Call the Police. If cyberbullies or their posts
threaten your safety, call the police. Cyberbullies who threaten your
life step over the line into illegal activity. The police can track down
even anonymous cyberbullies.
Tactic #3: Take Charge of Your Reaction
As you learned in Chapter 5, it’s essential to act rather than react.
Responding to a cyberbully’s attack may give the bully the atten-
tion he craves, and fuel further aggression. Never give cyberbullies
what they want. Don’t let them know they have your attention; block
them and their messages.
If you delete offensive posts impulsively, you destroy evidence you
may need later. If you lash out, you may spur the bully to create an
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The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 161
infinite multitude of dummy accounts and post increasingly worse
content.
Involve Your Employer. If you face coworker bullies, your employer
may take your side, particularly if it pays attention to court rul-
ings. When Tammy Blakey sued Continental Airlines, New Jersey’s
Supreme Court ruled that employers have “a duty to take effective
measures to stop co-employee harassment when the employer knows
or has reason to know” the harassment is “part of a pattern of harass-
ment” in a setting “related to the workplace.”
Attorney Lucinda Luke, an attorney specializing in labor and
employment counseling and litigation, urges victims of employee
cyberbullying to refer to “their company’s employee handbook to
determine if there are any policies prohibiting this kind of unaccept-
able behavior, workplace violence, harassment, and/or discrimina-
tion. Most employee handbooks address some or all of these issues
and direct the employee to report this behavior so the employer can
immediately investigate and correct it. If the bullying continues, alert
your employer that the actions taken were not successful in stopping
the bullying.”
Sue the Bully or Your Employer. Continental pilot Blakey sued her
employer for not taking action to protect her, winning $875,000 from
a jury who agreed with her.
Tackle the Perception Battle. A bully’s slander succeeds only when
others believe it. Defend yourself proactively by ensuring that those
you work with recognize your integrity and worth. Sun Tzu’s military
treatise, The Art of War, advises that a warrior best wins a war by being an individual no one wants to take on.
Like other bullies, cyberbullies can dish it out but can’t take it.
Don’t let cyberbullies shame you into isolation. Connect with your
friends and coworkers and ask them to participate in a counterattack,
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162 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
by blocking online aggressors, reporting hurtful messages to modera-
tors, and creating posts supporting you.
Harness the power of technology yourself by creating a YouTube
video that refutes the story being spread.
Close the Door. You can prevent the bully’s attacks from reaching
you by canceling all social media and personal email accounts. At
work, your company’s IT provider can show you how to permanently
filter out unwanted messages, and you can open new accounts block-
ing the bully’s emails.
The Employer’s Duty. As Blakey’s employer, Continental Airlines,
learned, employers that allow employees to be cyberbullied have
potential liability if the cyberbullying starts in the workplace. It
often does. According to a recent survey, 48 percent of businesses
permit all employees to “access social networking sites at work for
non- business use.”2
The Most Common Areas of Employer Liability
❚ Tweets, Facebook, or blog posts one employee makes
about another that involve or escalate to harassment and
originate in the workplace or spread into the workplace.
❚ Employees who cyberbul y on work time, or use employ-
er-provided computers or other technological resources
when bul ying.
❚ Employees who cyberbul y on employer-sponsored social
media such as the employer’s Twitter, LinkedIn, blog, or
Facebook page.
Devastated by attacks from a cyberbully? Take heart. Maeve
talked to her coworkers. Tammy took legal action. Both prevailed.
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The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 163
Your Turn: Where Are You Now?
If you have not encountered a cyberbul y, imagine what it would
be like if you had, and answer the fol owing questions accordingly.
1. How would a cyberbul y’s behavior affect you?
2. What could you do to cope?
3. It’s more difficult for a cyberbul y to destroy your workplace
reputation if you’ve created a strong one. In what ways can
you demonstrate your integrity and value in your workplace
to handicap a cyberbul y’s ability to slander you?
4. What privacy protections do you have in place for your
social media accounts? Each online vendor has guidelines
for creating privacy settings. Act now to set up privacy
protections on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media
accounts to ward off potential assassins.
5. It’s always better to respond strategical y than to react.
Prior planning makes this easier. Decide the first steps you’ll
take if attacked by a cyberbul y. Will you print the offensive
posts immediately? Make this decision now, before you’re
attacked and while your head is cool.
6. If you’re a manager or a human resources professional,
