“Come here.” He took her hand and guided her to stand beside him.
Nerves clamored for her attention just under the skin, all diving into her stomach in a vise gripping her tight. “Aidan, what are we doing?”
“Looking at the lights.” He put an arm around her shoulder and used that hand to point at the city lights below them. She was hot, even though there was a breeze, and her skin felt too tight.
She glanced from his hand to the lights. “They’re… pretty.”
“Right? I love coming up here.”
He’d brought her to one of his favorite places. Okay, she could get behind that a lot better than a party. Quiet, peaceful, no one else. “It’s beautiful, actually.”
They looked at it for a while. She was hyper-aware of his fingers grazing her neck.
“You’re being awfully quiet.”
“I’m not sure what to say. I told you I’m terrible at peopling.”
“If you want to leave, I’ll take you home.”
A breath shuddered through her. “I don’t want to leave. I didn’t like the party, but this is nice. I like being with you.”
His hand dropped to her waist. “Roxie.” His voice was low, his tone odd.
She turned to face him, to ask him what was wrong, and he hauled her against him. His throat worked and she thought he was going to say something else.
Her heart beat a crazy rhythm in her chest and her breathing had become shallow and quick. She should say something, but she didn’t want him to stop. Him holding her so close and staring at her lips, but it was the sanest she’d felt in a long time.
He had a small scar on his brow she’d never noticed. She wondered if he’d gotten it fighting fires or riding his motorcycle. More than anything, she wondered what it would be like if he kissed her. Her eyes fluttered shut. God, she wanted to feel his lips on hers.
Just when she thought the want might obliterate everything, his lips captured hers. It wasn’t a soft kiss, it started hard, almost like it made him angry to be kissing her. He laid siege to her mouth, his peppermint taste on her tongue as he teased her lips open.
He licked and nibbled, stroked her tongue with his own. The balmy night air grew hotter until their clothes served as a constricting barrier between them. His hands roamed up from her waist, feathery touches on her breasts and back, everywhere.
Holding onto his shoulders like a lifeline, Roxie leaned into his kiss. No doubt about it this time, his erection pressed hard against her. What came over her wasn’t that she hadn’t been wanted in a while, it was all about this man, about Aidan. No one had ever made her feel so freaking aroused with a kiss.
Barely able to think, acting on pure instinct, she ground her hips against him and he groaned in her mouth. She wanted him so much. Right here, off the road, on the ground. She wanted.
A car passed by on the distant street, and Aidan pulled back from her. She stared into his hazel eyes, gray in the moonlight, and he stared right back. He shook his head, like a spell had come over him and he was just getting out from under its effects. Maybe he was. Something had to explain why he’d kissed her.
Shaking, Roxie worked up her courage to speak. “What was that?” Her voice was breathless, a near whisper.
“I don’t know.” His hands fell away from her all at once, and he took a step back.
The moment was broken, but Roxie found she couldn’t shake the intimacy between them yet. She slipped her hand in his and turned back to the city lights. “Okay.”
He gave her hand a squeeze, and they stood there for another ten minutes as their breath slowed. Roxie tried to stuff her hopes back in the little box from where they escaped.
The kiss was incredible, but she needed to keep expectations low. She couldn’t think it would ever be more than one fantastic experience. And that was that, right? No more kisses, because he was obviously less than thrilled he’d given into whatever temptation she’d somehow offered.
Aidan felt awful about kissing her. He wanted her. God, he wanted her right now. He wanted to take her back to his apartment and have her every way he could think of until it was out of his system. But, he’d never fall in love again and while he thought they could have a passionate affair—there was something between them—he didn’t think she could handle a nostrings relationship.
He wasn’t an asshole, so he wasn’t going to push her when she was vulnerable. He had nothing to offer her but sex.
“Let me take you home.” He dropped her hand, because the electricity still flowed between them even in that simple touch.
She paused to study his face. “Are you sorry you kissed me?” she asked, seemingly unable to meet his gaze.
“Nope.” He tucked a finger under her chin until their gazes locked. “I should be, but I’m not.”
“Me neither.” She gave a ghost of a smile, then turned and began to make her way back to the road. He followed, berating himself for giving in to his desire to kiss her. Hell, it had been more than desire… he’d needed to kiss her. He’d hoped he’d feel nothing, or at least not more than the usual rush of lust of kissing someone new. He couldn’t have been more wrong. That wasn’t generic lust—it was very specific to Roxie, who smelled divine and tasted even better.
When she climbed on and wrapped her arms around him, he paused his hand at the ignition then gunned it to life. He licked his lips and tried to focus on getting back on the road. Damn it, he liked to have her so close.
The solitude of the road gave Aidan nothing but time and peace to think. He couldn’t have feelings for this woman. He had no feelings left—he’d used them all up with Miley’s illness and death. He hadn’t experienced anything but lust since, which he delved into as often as he pleased.
Roxie didn’t provoke a similar response. It was lust, for sure, but with a strange edge to it, a pull he hadn’t experienced for a long time. It would be dangerous to dive into this, into depths he couldn’t easily define.
The problem was, he couldn’t leave her alone. Riding together, touching this way, was a practical matter. There was no reason for it to make him hot all over.
Even if it did, he owed her big time for her kindness. If he left her with her parents and her cats, he had a feeling she’d wilt away like a forgotten flower. She needed someone to show her life was still worth living, even if it had to be different than what she had before.
He made up his mind. He was going to show her what being alive really felt like. Take her on some adventures, purely in friendship.
He pulled off the road at a wide spot and parked his bike. “Hop off so we can talk for a minute.”
She did, pulling the helmet from her head. Her hair was adorably messy and fell in big curls around her face.
“Look, you didn’t mean to kiss me and you don’t want me getting the wrong idea. I get it. We don’t need ‘the talk,’” she said before he could get a word out.
He licked his lips. She mirrored his thoughts, but he wasn’t such an asshole he was going to say it out loud. “This isn’t about the kiss.”
“It’s not? What is it, then?”
“I want to spend some time with you.” He leaned back on the bike and held a hand out in front of him. “Like… friends.”
Shaking her head, she sighed. “This sounds a lot like ‘the talk.’”
He chuckled. “Would you stop with ‘the talk’ business? I’m serious. I want to take you rafting, for starters. Maybe jump out of an airplane.”
Her eyes widened. “I’m not suicidal. No, thanks.”
“Okay, we’ll work up to the airplane jumping. How about the rafting?”
She quirked her lips and looked to the side. “I guess that might be okay. Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to take me places?”
He couldn’t tell her it was because he owed her so much. He didn’t know her well, but he knew she didn’t want anything to do with what had been her life as a social worker. If he told her he needed to repay her
kindness, she’d shut him down, no doubt about it. “Because we could both use the friendship. It’s fun. Why do I need some big reason?”
“I don’t know. Because, I’m weird and exhausting. I don’t exactly have people beating down my door to be my friend.”
“That’s because you don’t ‘people.’”
She laughed, which he’d never heard her do. She had a wicked, sexy laugh. He found himself wanting to make her laugh while he made love to her—and that thought needed to be banished. No sexy ideas between them.
“Let me think about it,” she said.
“Okay.” He pulled the bike up, lifted the kickstand, and she climbed on behind him. His dick stirred back to life when she wrapped her arms around him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on all the reasons he refused to find her attractive. He’d break her heart. She wasn’t the quick affair kind, and she was too fragile. Absolutely no sexiness involved.
When they reached her house, she hopped off and handed the helmet back to him. “Wear that.”
“I don’t need it, and I love the wind in my face.”
“I know, but… humor me. Wear the damn thing.”
He dutifully slid the helmet on his head and tightened the strap. “Happy?”
“I don’t even know what happy looks like anymore, but I’m satisfied.”
“When will you let me know about the rafting?”
“When I do, I’ll give you a call.” She drifted away, toward her house. When she went in, he started his bike and took off. He made it a couple of miles before he stopped to pull off the helmet. He didn’t need it getting between him and the ride. He needed the bracing air in his face, to help him calm down and think straight. Roxie’s presence did something to him.
He was going to be her friend, and that was it. End of story.
Chapter Four
Roxie rinsed out her coffee cup as her mom walked into the kitchen. Her dad was watching TV in the living room. He never said much to her anymore, like he didn’t know the right words, so he’d pretend she wasn’t here, that this… well, whatever this was, wasn’t happening.
Meredith pulled a carton of eggs from the refrigerator. “How was the party last night?”
“I was shy and socially awkward, like I always am.” She sat down at the kitchen table while her mom poured herself some coffee then began cracking eggs in a bowl. “I got hit on, he called me a bitch, and I danced one dance with my friend. Typical party stuff for an introvert.”
“Oh.” Her mom’s face crumpled and she erupted in tears. They streamed down her face while she whisked the eggs and milk.
“Mom, what’s the matter?” Her mom was a full-on optimist. Roxie hadn’t seen her cry like this since the year of her sister’s death. There had been plenty of tears then, but slowly, they’d dried up and Meredith had thrown herself into raising Roxie.
“I… thought it was a date. Even if it wasn’t, I thought you were going out and making friends.”
“I have a friend.” Aidan wasn’t really her friend. He was being nice to her. She didn’t know what he was, and she’d bet he wouldn’t be able to define it, either. Because he sure hadn’t meant to kiss her. “It definitely wasn’t a date.”
Meredith sat down at the table and wiped her face with a dishtowel. Her face was pinched and she looked exhausted. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you feel guilty. I know that’s not good for you.”
“Not being honest with me isn’t good for me, Mom. Why are you so worried? I mean, other than my not having a real job and having to move in with you and Daddy.”
“You’re depressed. Don’t even try to deny it, because I’ve lived through this before.”
Roxie tensed up at the mention of the past. Her mom didn’t have to say it—she was worried that Roxie might kill herself. “I would never do that to you.”
“Your sister denied having thoughts like that, too. She swore she was fine when we took her to see the psychologist.”
Roxie looked around. Her dad had turned his head to the kitchen to listen to their conversation. The last thing she wanted was to worry her parents any more than she already had. “Teenagers lie all the time. People with depression lie. No one wants to admit to having those thoughts.”
She knew these things clinically, as a former social worker. And they were no consolation to her parents. Roxie couldn’t even say she hadn’t thought how much better off everyone would be without her to worry about, but she’d never act on it. Roxie had seen the devastation suicide caused. She’d push through, like swimming in mud, until she found her way out.
But what if she were going out with a friend, would that appease her parents? Make them not scared they were going to lose their last remaining child? She’d jump out of a plane if it meant her mom and dad would stop being so scared.
“Actually…” She cleared her throat, trying for the right approach. Believability was key, here. “My friend, Aidan, he’s asked me to come… hang out with him some. And I really enjoyed the other night.”
“You said you didn’t have a good time.”
“But I told you we danced, and that was nice. And he took me for a ride on his motorcycle up to this great place where you can see the lights of the city. So, I was thinking of going. I think I’m starting to kick this depression thing.”
Meredith put the dishtowel down on the table and peered at her daughter, examining her face for a hint of dishonesty.
“Really?” Her voice was sad and hopeful all at once, eyes wide.
“Really.” Roxie nodded to drive the point home. “It’ll be fun. I could use some fun, I think, and I’m ready.” She was so not ready to leave the safety and comfort of her home, but she’d make herself, somehow.
Behind her, her dad unmuted the television. Meredith got up and went back to the business of scrambling some eggs. Okay, so Roxie would leave the house a few times with her only “friend,” the one who had kissed her into a frenzy last night and so clearly regretted it right after.
She walked outside and dialed Aidan’s number. Finally, he answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“It’s me. Well, you don’t know me well enough for ‘me’ to be very definite. It’s Roxie.”
“Your number came up on the caller ID.” He gave a little chuckle. “What’s up?”
“I have to go rafting with you.”
“What do you mean you ‘have to?’”
Roxie took a sharp breath. She’d nearly screwed this up already. “Like, oh my gosh, I’m so excited, I simply must go. Have to go. Like that.”
“Huh. When we go rafting, you can tell me the real story. Deal?”
“I suppose so.” She didn’t want to explain the entire ordeal to him, so she’d see if she could get out of it. “And is there an in-between thing we could do, to build up to the plane-jumping?”
“I’m sure I can figure something out.”
Standing in the yard, she was unsure what to say next. Should she say something like, “Good talk,” or, “How about that kiss?”
No, definitely not. “Let me know when you want to go.”
“Will do.” He shouted an answer to someone else. “I’ve got to go, Rox. I’ll call soon.”
“Oh, sure. That’s fine.” He had a life, unlike her. Friends, obligations. Jinx walked up and rubbed himself against her legs, and Roxie stooped to pick him up. “Bye.”
She ended the call and headed back toward the house with her cat. “That’s okay, Jinx. I don’t need a life, because I’ve got the cutest kitty on the planet.”
She sat down on the porch swing, moving back and forth. Jinx jumped off her lap and meowed to be let back into the house. He had things to do, counters to jump on, strings to chase. Great, now even her cat’s life was more interesting than hers.
Two days after the kiss, Aidan was eating cereal when Kurt sat down and asked him what he did on his days off.
“I went to Jimmy’s party. I took Roxie.”
“The sexy, broken social w
orker?”
Aidan gave him a warning glance. If Kurt went into his talk about why broken girls were hot, Aidan would kick his ass. “Yeah, I guess.”
“How’d that go?”
“She totally didn’t fit in, we danced, we kissed.” He thought to gloss over that part. He could’ve kept it to himself but, dick that he was, Kurt was his best friend.
“Wait a minute. You almost punched me in the face for suggesting she’d be a great lay—”
“And I still might, if you don’t shut that shit down.”
“Whatever, man. And then you kissed her? Or did she kiss you? What happened?”
“You’re full of more questions than a teenage girl with her first crush. Let it go.”
Kurt shook his head, a grin on his face. He was enjoying Aidan’s discomfort now. “No way. So, did she put the moves on you?”
With a sigh, Aidan pushed his half-full cereal bowl away. “No. I kissed her.”
“Because broken girls are hot, am I right?”
“Stop calling her broken. She’s not a toy, or a car, or some shit. She’s a person. Jesus, Kurt.”
“Okay, then. If it’s not that, then tell me why you kissed her.”
“Because she’s… this strange combination of vulnerable and smoking hot, and it just got me in the gut somewhere, every time I looked at her.”
“See?”
“No. I don’t ‘see.’” Aidan stood, dumped his cereal out and cleaned the bowl. “It was a one-shot deal. A heat of the moment thing, and it’s not happening again.”
Kurt made his way over to the sink and leaned on the counter. “So, if you don’t plan on dating her, are you going to stop seeing her?”
“No. I told you, she needs a friend.” That was the hard part. It’d be so much easier to not see her again and then he wouldn’t have to deal with how attracted he was to her. Now, he’d agreed to take her rafting, probably tomorrow or the day after.
“Why does that have to be you?”
“Because, after everything she’s been through, I’m not sure how many friends she has left.”
Kurt followed Aidan through the firehouse. Some of the other guys were gathered around the television, playing a video game. Aidan kept walking, and headed outside to sit in some folding chairs they kept out there.
Exactly Like You: A Cupid Cafe Story Page 4
