by W. Ferraro
“Molly?” Hunter’s confusion was evident.
Pulling the earbuds from her ears, she smiled and said, “Oh sorry, did you say something.”
He smiled again, this time showing off that faint dimple before repeating himself.
“Just said it was a beautiful morning for a walk. I should know; I’ve been up and out of the house since five this morning.”
That had Molly scrunching her nose in disgust. In her opinion, getting up at six was bad enough; anything before that was just downright wrong.
“Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to make faces on the off chance your face would freeze?”
Molly laughed. “I don’t quite think that is how the old saying goes, but you just keep thinking that.”
They had stood in silence before Molly commented, “New bench, I see.”
Hunter looked down toward the freshly polished granite with its engraved black lettering and stated, “Yeah, guess the real estate around here is coming to a close. I can’t see them being able to add many more.”
Molly looked at the shiny polished bench. The sun’s shine reflected upon its flat surface, causing the flecks of minerals within to sparkle like little bits of glitter in the morning glow.
“I enjoy reading them when I walk. Makes you have a little more faith in the love of people. Some are sad, but some are sweet. Makes my time walking here more enjoyable and adds to the beauty of all the landscaping. It makes me one happy walker.”
Still babbling like you did when you were a teenager.
“Well, good doctor, it is always nice to see you, but I really must be going.”
“Yeah, me, too. I need to head home and shower before heading to the hospital.”
Hunter. In a shower. All that gorgeous glistening skin. She wondered if he would sparkle like the polished granite. Yeah, like those images will be easy to shake.
Yet neither one of them moved.
“Was everything all right this morning? I couldn’t help but see you almost collide with Ms. Chamberlain. You do know if you had dented her treasured hunk of junk that she would have gotten out and whacked you with her cane.”
The completely honest description of the eldest resident of Clearwater Falls had Molly smiling and nodding in agreement.
When she smiled, so did Hunter and Molly thought her heart skipped at least three beats. It was so rare for the two of them to be alone. However, occasionally the moments did occur, and she just hoped he didn’t perceive her as awkward as she felt she was. When she was alone with him, her mind went to the thoughts she so desperately tried to limit. It was one thing to have the fleeting thoughts when she would pass him. But to stand here in his presence, alone, as if the rest of the world just melted away allowed her mind to open the vault she kept shut.
The vault that was currently wide open.
He had changed over the years. His face was no longer laced with youth but nor did he look old. He still looked immensely handsome. On the occasions when she saw him at the hospital, in the doctor’s office he helped at or coming to the restaurant between shifts, he was always clean-shaven and impeccably put together in a suit. But when she saw him around town, when he was doing what seemed to be his favorite hobby of landscaping rather in his doctor mode, he looked different. Rugged. Sexy. He rocked a pair of well-worn jeans better than those expensive suits of his, in her opinion. She figured it was because, in his more casual appearance, he reminded her of the boy she knew.
Molly felt her cheeks redden, and her body responded to memories which were enhanced by daydreamed moments fast-forwarded to the present. Add in the smile which was mere inches away and she knew she was likely to receive a psychiatric referral from him.
“Molly? Hey, are you all right?” he now asked with increased concern in his tone.
Literally shaking the images from her vision, her eyes widened in response to his tone, and she embarrassedly asked, “I just don’t know why my mind is jumping all over the place today. I’m sorry, what did you say?”
With his smile less wide than its usual friendly and constant nature, he repeated himself, “I asked what the specials down at the restaurant were today. I’m getting tired of hospital food.”
“Oh, uh, well, we have a Caesar chicken wrap with sweet potato fries or Greg’s colossal mushroom and Swiss burger.”
But I’d be happy to put myself on the menu for you.
“Quite tempting. But I’m a sucker for a good ol’ burger.”
I really would love to tempt you.
“You always were, as long as it is cooked until it is black and bearing no taste,” Molly added without meaning to bring the fact she memorized everything about how and what he orders.
“Some things never change I guess. Why mess with perfection,” he responded back jovially.
“You do know change can be good, right. Try living by the seat of your pants and enjoy something new. You never know, you might just like it!” she replied, happily thinking that his burger order needed a reboot for the sake of flavor anyways.
She watched as his face changed. Her words settled over him as if they had struck an underlying chord with him. “Yeah, well, some of us stay true to the way we have always been,” he countered harshly.
The change in direction of the conversation took Molly aback.
“It is time for me to get going. Have a good day, Molly,” he stated before turning away, grabbing his bag of things, and heading off toward his Jeep.
Molly watched as he pulled out of the parking lot feeling confused.
And, as usual, you apparently seem to somehow make the situation awkward, Mol. Talk about making a man run from you.
She headed toward her own car, replaying the conversation over and wondering what she’d said that could have upset him like that. But when she sat behind the steering wheel unmoved for a few minutes, she finally let out the breath she had been holding and realized this was just another example of how badly she could twist a situation where that particular man was concerned.
Stick to your dreams, Molly. That seems to be the only place that you and Hunter are ever on even ground.
Molly pulled out of the parking spot, heading back to her home and restaurant. She tried to rid her mind of the arousal that Hunter Dennison could invoke so easily, not to mention how she had an uncanny ability to constantly send him heading for the hills.
Hunter drove battling with himself internally over his inability to keep himself in check with Molly back at the park.
Maybe some wounds just never go away.
Ever since he moved back three years ago to the town he grew up in, he has a daily battle with himself over Molly Sowards.
Molly Jenson, you idiot. She, unlike you, had no problem living a life not filled with an inability to let go of events of the past.
He would never admit it to anyone, but the whole decision of him moving back here from Boston to make a life hinged on whether he thought he could handle seeing Molly on a daily basis.
There were a lot of days he didn’t think he would be strong enough to push past the pain that he still carried with him even all these years later, but the fact that he would be close to his family again won out even if a piece of his sanity became collateral damage.
Regardless of what had occurred all those years ago, he tried to be friendly with her. It was tough to avoid someone completely when you lived in a town of only a few thousand people. Truth was he didn’t want to avoid her; he had just become better with hiding the pain he still felt whenever he looked at her. And look at her was something he did often. And still like a pariah, it seemed more often than not. It didn’t matter in what pretense he saw her, her beauty was still enough to stop him in his tracks. Unlike a lot of women, Molly didn’t flaunt her looks. If anything, she acted as if she didn’t possess the power to lure a man to his knees.
But he had heard firsthand how inaccurate that act was.
As he drove toward his place, he couldn’t help but compare the Molly he was
infatuated with all those years ago to the woman she was now.
Her golden blond hair still ran in waves down her always-soft looking shoulders. Her hair had darkened a bit but still reminded him of warm summer days when beams of light would streak through the passing clouds and warm your face like a kiss from heaven. Her green eyes still looked as intense as they did when she was younger—not the type of green common to hazel-eyed people but a bright green. The color reminded him of an emerald ring his mother constantly wore. It had been a gift from his father when his sister was born, symbolizing her birth month. The stone that his father had selected for the setting was wide and clear. It gleamed in bright light yet still had a shine in low light. Just as Molly’s eyes did. There was always emotion in her eyes. Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves—but not Molly—she wore hers in her eyes. Add in the dark brown lashes which lined the all-telling eyes of hers and you had a winning combination to hours of fantasy.
And sure as shit that was one combination Hunter was quite familiar with. He was a slave to it when he was younger, even after the bubble had burst and his hopes were dashed out quicker than one of the roaring bonfires that occurred up in the pit. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, those same fantasies still haunted him today, making him even more of a captive when it came to her—those fantasies only becoming more vivid as his daily life went on here in Clearwater Falls.
When he left all those years ago, he admitted that he left to hide from the pain of his planned life’s collapse. He was angry. God, he was so angry, and he succumbed to an age-old weakness. Physical release to heal emotional wounds. Allison was the messenger to the deadly blow he took, but she also was a willing female. He thought back to all the ways he took Allison the first couple of days he knew her. As if every explosion from his groin could chip away at the deluded image of perfection he had tattooed over his heart. He knew then that it wasn’t fair to Allison that he was using her for his own gain, but at the same time, he was not strong enough to push her away, either. She was willing so he took. He sought and she gave. Passing the time he had planned to spend with Molly.
He should have known better than to jump feet first into a relationship with Allison, but some plans couldn’t be broke. He wasn’t looking to sow his wild oats. He wasn’t looking to bang a different girl every day of the week. Truth was he wanted to be ‘the one’ to someone. He wanted to be half of a whole. It just was a cock-gripper, only not who he had waited so long for.
He knew he was a bastard to continue seeing Allison for the sole purpose of physical release, but he still couldn’t bring himself to stop, either. Soon, the physical part of their relationship began to wane and the reality that their sad relationship barely existed finally sunk in.
Thankfully, college then med school filled in most of his time. They still went through the motions of being together, but it had more come to be a physical coupling schedule than anything else. Allison seemed okay with it, so why rock the boat.
Asshole 101, please meet your newest student.
Missing his family but unable to bring himself to return home often, he only made the exception when he was the best man in Gage’s wedding to his first wife, Krista. The entire time he was home, he made it a point not to inquire about Molly but that didn’t mean his mother wasn’t happy to fill him in on the happenings of her beloved town.
It was the night before Gage was due to say his vows. Most of the guests, the groom and bride-to-be, and all of Hunter’s siblings were continuing the pre-wedding joy with dinner at Molly’s and a close down of the place to continue to celebrate. Needless to say, Hunter made a point to refrain from joining, by using the intensity of his med school schedule to finally take the opportunity to relax. His mother stated she still had a lot to do before tomorrow’s festivities so she also stayed behind at the house.
“Do you want me to make you something?” Bianca Dennison asked in her I’m-gonna-make-you-something-regardless-of-what-you-say way.
“No, Mom, I’m good. Just enjoying the quiet.”
“I imagine you don’t get much quiet with your constant studies and rounds at the hospital,” she exclaimed as she began making a grilled cheese sandwich.
“True. I know I’m making the right decision in med school. I love helping people, Mom. Healing a physical wound is a lot easier than healing an emotional one,” Hunter said, unable to keep the double meaning from his words.
“So, I guess you are trying to tell me that you will not be going into the psychiatric specialty.”
Hunter smiled and tapped his index finger against the tip of his nose multiple times.
Returning the smile that was identical to her own, she continued, “Your father and I have no doubt you are doing what is right. We couldn’t be prouder of your decision to study at Boston University.”
Bianca’s children couldn’t help but feel an undying love for their mother. She always seemed to know what they needed and when they needed it.
This moment in time was no less.
“Oh, I ran into Florence Sowards earlier this week. She had some very exciting news. She was just bursting with news she is about to become a grandmother.”
Hunter stopped the action of bringing a stolen piece of cheese to his lips at her words.
For Florence to be an expectant grandmother could only mean one thing; Molly was pregnant.
The knowledge hurt. Regardless of the fact it had been two years since the night of the bonfire when his dreams and closest held ambition had gone up in flames, it didn’t make the knowledge of how far off course life had truly gone any easier to hear.
“I did tell you that she had married Bob Jenson last spring, right?” Bianca flipped the sizzling butter coated bread on the griddle. She grabbed a couple of plates from the cabinet to her right without looking at her son’s face. “I really was surprised when they announced their engagement. But after she came back to town after her first semester down in Boston when she transferred up to UNH, I guess things just developed between her and Reed’s old classmate. She never seemed overly happy about it, but you know Molly. She would have had a smile on her face and asked you about your day even if she was standing in ankle deep shit.”
The fact that Bianca cursed, which was something she rarely did, didn’t faze Hunter as much as the information she was giving.
If only you knew, Mom. Molly had already had her fun and was probably just ready to hide her shame in a convenient marriage.
Still with all her attention on the sizzling sandwiches, she continued, “You know between you and me, Hunter, I had always hoped Molly and Reed would get together. They had gone all through school together and I know they ran in the same social circle. But oh well, I guess a mom can’t control every part of her kids’ life.”
His mother was completely unaware of the sudden change in direction of her present son’s emotions.
The thought of Reed ever thinking, let alone touching, Molly in any way had bile rising in his throat.
When Hunter lived in his pre-awareness of Molly’s true character, he knew he was walking a thin line considering Reed and Molly’s friendship. He lost track of how many times he had blatantly come out and asked Reed what he thought about the girls in his class, including the ones he considered good friends. Each time he asked, he always held his breath that this would not be the time he would come back and declare an affection toward a certain little blonde.
Toward graduation, Reed began to ask why Hunter was always asking about who he had his eye on, but Hunter always shook it off as an inquisitive older brother. Reed would be an ass and state that Gage, the oldest, could have given two shits less who Reed had in his sights, so Hunter tended to say that was why he was the more caring brother. He knew Reed never believed him, but considering the alternative of telling him the true reason why his curiosity always played a factor, he would take what he could.
Bianca had turned and now placed the plated sandwich in front of her son, who didn’t want to eat his
favorite childhood sandwich.
She took the opposite stool at the counter before taking a bite of her own sandwich. When Hunter’s remained untouched after her first few bites, she snapped her manicured fingers in front of him to snap him out of his trance.
“Something wrong, kiddo?”
“Uh, no. Thanks, Mom, for the sandwich, but I guess I’m just more tired than I had originally thought. I’m going to head up to bed and get some rest before the big day tomorrow.” He stood and kissed his mother’s cheek.
“Are you sure you won’t stay home for a couple of days? There won’t be so many guests after tomorrow, and you haven’t been home in so long. I believe you told me that you don’t have class until Tuesday afternoon. That would give you a couple more days at least.”
With firmness he never used in front of his mother, he said clearly, “No, after Gage and Krista leave the reception, I will be heading back to Boston. I plan to be back in my apartment tomorrow night.”
Feeling bad for the pain he saw in his mother’s face, he gave her another kiss, this time atop her head, before telling her that he loved her and heading out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his old room.
He needed to get out of that town and away from all the memories of how stupid he had been.
Pulling his Jeep into his driveway brought him out of his memory led spiral. He got out and headed inside.
He climbed the stairs en route to his room, when he passed the other bedroom. A bedroom that remained dark and empty too often for Hunter’s happiness.
This overly purple, stuffed animal filled, ruffled, and laced concocted room belonged to his beautiful daughter, Leah. The child he shared with Allison. As he leaned against the white doorframe, he looked at the empty room and thought, of all the unplanned ways his life had gone, the best thing to come out of it was Leah.
She was the apple of his eye and everything to his heart.
After Hunter had returned to Boston with the unwanted knowledge that Molly’s life really had gone in the opposite direction than he, he had a newfound determination to make his and Allison’s relationship work.
