by W. Ferraro
Then there was the time she had promised the Andreolis that she would help around the farm. She had agreed to do farm chores, but when she realized all that would entail, including the horrid smells, Hunter had appeared, offering to do her share inside the barn so she could go outside and get some fresh air. That was the summer she had turned thirteen.
As she drove by the high school and as the streetlights cast a glow across the baseball field, she remembered when everything changed. It was during her freshman year, when she had used the dugout as a place to hide from the pursuit of Jason Nicosia, an intense junior who had taken a shine to Molly. Being a small town, it wasn’t like Jason didn’t know who she was, but after a track meet, things had changed. Jason began to pursue her using one of her favorite treats, gummy bears, as a way to get her attention. Molly was uncomfortable with his attention, but she didn’t have the heart to tell him. Soon, he was arriving everywhere she was, delivering her bags of her favorite sweet treat, or “surprises” as he called them. After he had crossed the line at a school event referring to himself as a gummy and things he wanted to do with and to her, she panicked and fled to the safety of the dugouts. However, soon after she had arrived and sought refuge inside, she heard footsteps. She was petrified as the sound of someone’s approach became louder, realizing her choice of hiding places was neither smart nor safe. But, the face that appeared wasn’t Jason but Hunter, filling her with instant relief and an overcoming feeling of warmth.
Never asking why she was hiding, he just said one thing that had all her fear subsiding. He told her that Jason wouldn’t be bothering her again, in any way. She gave a grateful but silent appreciative smile; Hunter nodded to her and left her alone. He was gone but a moment later, it never dawned on her to question how he knew? She had just chalked it up to how he always appeared in the moments she needed someone the most.
That was when she knew, even at the age of fifteen, that she was in love with Hunter Dennison.
Molly pulled to a stop in front of Molly’s and the feeling of loss overtook her. She repeated to herself that all the children made it out alive and unscathed, but this was their livelihood, this was their home, and the blackened, damaged shell that was left was a perfect resemblance to her chance at the life she had always dreamed of having, the life where she was loved by Hunter.
As she entered through the front door, she was careful not to slip on the water, and found some solace that the main restaurant was not completely obliterated. Yes, there was a lot of water and some smoke damage, but mostly everything was intact and salvageable. However, as she walked through the place and into the kitchen, her swift moving optimism was quickly extinguished. The kitchen was a total loss. It was clear in the scorch marks as to where the oil had been thrown and how quickly the fire had grown and consumed. Everything was black and charred. Charred to the point that unless she knew it by memory what the kitchen had looked like, there was no way she would have been able to recognize it now.
And the tears and pain became too much to bear. She realized, as the tears fell and her body shook with sobs, that this was the first time she had cried about the effect of the fire on her life.
This charred room was the only casualty from an accident, yet she knew that was so far from the truth. So many casualties and so many victims; Jessica was a victim of Molly’s own selfishness, as was Hunter.
Replaying his words last night only made it worse; he was right when he called her a coward. Not because of the choice she was making but more because she didn’t consider his feelings. Yes, he was her lover, but he was so much more to her; he had been her friend.
She hadn’t lied when she said it would never be a competition between the happiness of her daughters and her own happiness. But she could admit now, at this moment, that he was right. It shouldn’t have to be one or the other.
Oh, how she wanted him here with her now to hold her and tell her it really was going to be all right; to feel his strong body hold her own weak and frail one together, without worry of him dropping her.
But she couldn’t.
She wouldn’t.
No, it was better this way. He deserved to be someone’s everything, not someone’s filler. And with how she needed to show her daughters that they were her number one priority and attend to their physical and mental needs, that was all he would be, a filler to whom she would take the physical demands she wanted as well as pick and choose the emotional ones. Leaving him with bits and pieces of a one-sided affair.
Such an affair that she was absolutely positively sure he would be a part of because of his love for her.
Hunter loved her.
He loved her so much, that even though he pleaded with her not to go, he let her go because it was what she asked of him, it was what she demanded of him.
He told her that she was falling on her sword, and truth be told, she wanted to fall on the sharpened steel, but at the last minute changed her mind and demanded that he impale himself.
And he did.
Molly grabbed the broom and began making sense of the mess in front of her. More time went by with little success. Looking at her watch and aware that the sun was beginning to rise, she heard the door open, and footsteps approached where she stood. Greg’s face riddled with unexplainable pain. His usual solid, unbreakable presence was anything but—in its place was a man surveying pure devastation. The tears that fell down his aged cheeks proved his obvious emotional wreckage. Molly’s already cracked composure fell victim once more and she too cried for the loss that they both felt so deeply.
They stepped toward each other and held onto each other, as Greg’s aged eyes looked over the kitchen that he considered his own. Between his soft sobs and the uncontrollable shake his body couldn’t contain, such sounds emanating from the man she considered to be a second father to her could just be her undoing. Molly rubbed his back consoling him with bodily contact and soft words of remorse.
Greg stepped away from her to tread through the space, and she watched as his whimpers grew and he reached out his usually so strong hands to touch what was left of his space.
He turned to her and said in a weak voice so unlike his own, “It was the oil, wasn’t it?” Not bothering to wait for a reply, he continued, “I knew I should have made sure it was disposed of rather than being lazy and leaving it for the morning.”
He reached out to touch what was left of the shelving that housed most of his pans, and the brittle burned wood gave way, crashing down on the already charred counter and floor.
“This is all my fault!” Greg said with conviction, doing away with the weakness and replacing it with anger.
“It is no one’s fault, Greg, just a horrible unfortunate accident.”
“My laziness equals incompetence!” His voice echoed off the shell of a room.
Molly stepped toward him, placing a hand on his forearm. “Don’t do that. Come on, Greg, you might as well say you should have never started making me s’mores in this kitchen thirty years ago if you are going to walk that line.”
“You always were a sucker for sweets,” he said finally giving her a glimpse of the smile she knew better than her own.
“If you want to take the blame for something, take it for being so incredibly good and always giving into a young girls’ inability to go without gooey chocolaty goodness.”
The senior man who looked even older in this setting turned in a circle and Molly knew he would carry the weight of this on his shoulders.
He turned back to face her and raised a steadier hand to her cheek. “Are you okay, sweet girl?”
Molly leaned into his warm hand, closing her eyes and finding comfort in his touch. Before stepping away and taking in their surroundings, she answered, “Yes, I’m okay. I want to be angry with the kids, but I can’t. It truly was a horrible accident. I just thank God they all walked away unscathed.”
“Yes, we should be very thankful for that blessing.”
They stood in silence both lost in their t
houghts when Greg broke the silence. “Well, it isn’t going to clean up itself. Might as well not let the sunrise go to waste.”
Greg started picking up large pieces of debris and piling them over in the corner. They soon could see they were making a dent in it when they heard the front door open again.
For a moment, she thought she would see Hunter’s handsome face peek through the door, but she knew deep down inside he wouldn’t come. She made a point of that. However, who emerged from the wreckage was the last person Molly would have ever expected: Allison Lloyd.
A cloud of confusion circled Molly’s brain and suddenly fear filled her that something had happened to Leah or Hunter.
“Allison?”
Such an immaculate woman should look out of place amongst the blackness and chaos, but Molly will give it to her, she seemed comfortable. Like a chameleon, Allison Lloyd could make any setting her own.
“Hello Molly, Hunter told me what happened. I felt I should come here myself to offer my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sure you are devastated.”
“Is Leah all right?” she asked fearfully.
Molly wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, but for a moment, for the smallest of seconds, Allison looked nervous. But then she placed that perfected plastic smile on the face that God was gracious enough to give her, and her husband’s money was undoubtedly responsible for the upkeep of, and answered, “Physically, yes, but emotionally, I would say not in the least.”
And I’m supposed to say what to a statement like that?
“Look, Molly, I won’t take too long, but I would really like to have a moment of your time so we could talk. There are things that are long overdue of being said.”
Unable to keep up with the niceties that she was sure Allison expected from her, Molly said rather shortly, “Look, Allison, now is really not a good time. I appreciate your sentiment of regret, but if you will excuse us, we have a lot of work to do.”
Allison smirked slightly and took a few steps closer. “Look, I know I am far from your favorite person, and I understand if you want to tell me to go back on the broom I rode in on, but please, this won’t take too long.”
The pleading look that Molly saw in Allison’s blue eyes struck a chord in her deep down inside, and she found herself nodding in agreement to Allison’s request and watched as Allison turned and left the way she came.
I am completely nuts. Completely batshit crazy.
Unaware of his approach, Greg took the broom from Molly and placed a hand at the small of her back pushing her toward the way the other woman disappeared.
“Silver linings have a way of showing their faces in the blackest of moments.” Greg flicked Molly’s nose and added, “You just have to listen. Then you can tell her where she can stick her platinum card.”
Molly couldn’t help but smile because Greg always could make her smile. With a deep breath, she walked out through the front of the restaurant to where Allison waited.
She stepped out on the sidewalk, having to squint at the bright sun that was showing a preview of the type of day it was going to be. Allison stood next to her brand new Lexus, in her designer denim, J. Crew cardigan set, and the riding boots that were more about style than practicality, she looked beautifully put together as always. Allison turned and grabbed for the two steaming cups of coffee that waited on the luxury sedan’s roof.
“I thought you could use this,” Allison said sounding nervous.
Well, there’s a first.
Molly accepted the extended cup from the perfectly manicured hand dripping with diamonds and gems, which probably cost the same as the insurance settlement Molly would receive for the restaurant damage.
“Just cut to the chase, Allison. What do you want?” Molly couldn’t care less about the bite that dripped from her voice.
“I want to make you rethink throwing things away with Hunter.”
Molly couldn’t believe her ears.
Tossing the hot contents of the cup across the sidewalk and disposing of the Styrofoam cup in the receptacle, Molly had just about had it. “What I do with my personal life has nothing to do with you. I don’t know how you know about any of this, but it isn’t any of your business.”
Molly turned to head back inside when Allison called to her once more.
“Well, see, that is where you are wrong. It is my business because Hunter is my business.”
The loathing Molly felt at that moment was like nothing she ever felt before. “I would have assumed that ended when you dumped him for your seven figure income husband.”
Visibly unprepared for Molly’s tone, Allison tried to remain composed. “Hunter is my business because Leah is my business. You may not like me for what I did, and to be completely honest, I don’t like myself for what I’ve done to both you and Hunter, but the fact remains, what goes on in his life is my business.”
“I don’t have time for this; some of us actually have real problems in our life.”
Molly had just reached the door to the restaurant when Allison said, “Hunter called me last night and told me about the fire. Leah is very upset and wanted to come home, so I told her I would come this afternoon to fetch her.”
Molly’s heart cracked some more at the admission of Leah being upset. Molly felt new and deep shame for not thinking of the third young casualty in all this. Collateral damage as she called it regarding her girls. How could she not think of Leah suffering?
“Well, you might want find a better jeweler who can get you a watch that works, because it is barely dawn.”
“Leah called me last night after you had left Hunter’s place. She heard the two of you arguing. She heard you end things.”
Shit.
“I’m sorry she heard what she did. It wasn’t pretty, but sometimes life isn’t pretty.”
“Even you aren’t that cruel, Molly,” Allison said, indicating Molly’s nonchalant attitude. “She went back to her room and remained there. Hunter doesn’t know she called me or that I’m here. He wouldn’t approve of me being here with you.” Clearly uncomfortable, she continued, “I’m not sure what is going on with your daughter, and I’m sure you feel horrible. I know you are a loving mother and the pain your daughter is experiencing must be excruciating to you. You love deeply, Molly, you always have.”
“You don’t know anything about my daughter or my life, Allison. I’m sorry you made this trip, but I think we have said enough.” She began to walk away before stopping and saying with much more feeling, “Please give my apology and goodbye to Leah. I really will miss her.”
“Please don’t do that. Just listen, Molly. Hunter deserves to be happy. Happy the way he always deserved to be. The way that he should have been twenty years ago if I hadn’t manipulated both of you to get my own way.”
“How did you even know about my feelings for him?”
“Is it really important? The fact is that I manipulated both of you for the sheer purpose of stealing him from you. Just because it would mean that I won.”
“Won what?”
“The game. There were no rules, just a score, and I had no desire to lose to you.”
“You played him? Just to be cruel to me? For some imaginary game that your sick head came up with.”
“Yes.”
“Why, Allison? What did I ever do to you that wanted you to hate me so badly?”
“Don’t you see? You didn’t do anything, other than be you. I was just a bitch, uh, I mean I am a bitch. I don’t know how else to be.” Allison cocked her head, and for a moment, Molly thought she saw moisture in her eye but then Allison went on, “I just couldn’t stand the thought of Little Miss Perfect being happy. I needed to know what made this guy the exception to the rule, so different. I had to know what made him stand out from all the other guys who laid out the red carpet for you while you never gave them a second look.”
“What are you talking about? What guys?”
“See, and even twenty
years later, if I have to tell you, only proves my point even more.”
The fact that Molly did know what she was talking about only made the pit of her stomach drop that much more. Allison was finally revealing why she hated her so much.
“But the joke was on me. While I was stomping on your too sweet heart with my Manolo Blahnik’s, I examined and manipulated him so I could find out why he was so different. And you know what, I found it . . . Hunter is one in a million.” Allison looked down at the ground before looking back up with a new shake in her voice and a hint of emotion. “He is everything a man should be; loyal, affectionate, caring, and sexy. What he makes his partner feel is what bathroom stall brag sessions are made of.” She too threw her coffee before continuing, “And I didn’t hold his attention. Oh, he was content to be with me, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say he was happy with me. After all, who would be dealing with me on a daily basis?”
Molly couldn’t help raising her eyebrow. She knew it was in bad taste and rude, but she just couldn’t help it.
“When we found out I was pregnant, he asked me to marry him. But I played hard to get. It was part of the game, it was part of the challenge, so I refused. He asked me every day through my entire pregnancy, and I was tempted to say yes on many days, but something inside of me couldn’t do it. When Leah was born, he asked me again, and I told him that I couldn’t. He asked me why, and for the first time, I could say I was one hundred percent honest with him. I told him that I did not love him. Hunter, being Hunter, tried again for several more months, but one night I just couldn’t bear to hear the words come from him again. I knew he wasn’t asking me to marry him because he loved me in the end all be all way. No, he was asking me to marry him because we shared a child, and it was the noble and responsible thing to do. The Dennison thing to do. He loves Leah; he loved her the moment he knew she grew inside of me. And looking back, I think she was the reason I couldn’t ruin his life anymore. Leah was my reason to set her father free of myself. He and I sat down and I told him I had met Garrett and I was madly in love. Hunter, of course, congratulated without shunning me for being unfaithful.” Allison leaned against her car, looking down the street and then back to Molly’s exterior. “When he returned to Clearwater Falls, I was far from surprised. He was coming home; he was coming home to you. I realize now that there was always something that kept him completely out of my reach. Something that I overlooked to make myself feel more righteous, more successful, more triumphant. I always really knew, but I just never admitted it until he came back here. You were his dream. When we were intimate, it felt very crowded, and that is because it may have physically been me, but that was where my involvement ended. He envisioned it was you under him all those years. You were the one he so desperately wanted. You were the one that he wished called out his name every time we made love. You certainly were the one he wanted to feel his child grow inside of. He wanted to wipe your brow during labor. Instead of his dream coming true, he got a nightmare, me.”
