I put the piece of china back on the countertop. As I paid, Susie pointed to some vials near the register. It looked like blue dish liquid in a small test tube.
“What are these?” Susie asked.
“That is magic elixir…guaranteed to give you whatever you want,” Serena answered.
I scratched my head. “Uh huh, right.”
I knew the shop owner heard the skepticism in my voice. “What do you two want most in the world?” she asked.
“A hot man to love and lots and lots of money,” Susie said dreamily.
“A baby,” I blurted out.
“Really, you want a baby?” Susie looked at me in surprise. I had never told her about my baby fever.
I nodded.
“What about a man…a sexy ass man to love you?” Susie asked.
“Men suck.”
Susie shook her head. “What the heck! You said men are worthless…that they are only good for making babies…now you’re saying they suck. Since when did you become a man-hater?”
Serena arched her brows. I could see she was listening to every word.
“Men are nasty,” I said firmly. “I don’t need a man. But I want a baby, and like I said, that’s all they’re good for.”
Serena frowned and shrugged her shoulders. “Well ladies, you need to buy my elixir. I have one for everything you could possibly want. And they come with a money back guarantee.”
I frowned as I studied the vials. They all looked the same…like test tubes in a high school lab class. I picked up one of the vials and read the label—‘love potion’. I put it back. Picking up one after the other I read each label; ‘job potion’, ‘get rich potion’, ‘new car potion’, ‘better health potion’, ‘baby maker potion’… They even had a ‘baby maker potion’? What the heck?”
Susie narrowed her eyes. “How much are they?”
“Susie!” I couldn’t believe she was going to fall for this bullshit. Susie was gullible though.
“They are $40 per vial,” the woman replied. “But they are on special today for only $30 each—if you buy two. And remember, they have a money back guarantee.”
“We’ll take the ‘baby maker potion’ and the ‘get rich potion’ please, Susie said pointing at the vials.
“I don’t think so.” I shook my head. “I’ll take the trinket box, but that will be it, thanks.”
“Alright, I’ll just get the ‘get rich potion’ then.” Susie unzipped her clutch. “Geez, all I have is ten bucks.”
“Take that as a sign Susie,” I grinned. “You are not supposed to buy it.”
“Look, what have we got to lose? These come with a money back guarantee.”
“Sorry, Susie, but this is just silly.” Over the years that Susie and I had worked together and been friends I’d tried a lot of crazy things. Thanks to her I’d had my palm read, got a hot rock massage, visited a yogi retreat, and more. But buying a vial of some liquid that claimed it would help me get pregnant? I didn’t think so.
The shop owner had already started wrapping the two vials in tissue paper but I waved my hand at her. “Put the one for me back with the others. Just give her the ‘get rich potion’.”
“Since you’re short on cash, I’ll buy it and you can pay me later,” I shook my head. “But honestly, I think you’re wasting your money.” I didn’t want to be rude in front of the shop owner, but this was ridiculous. Forty dollars for what?
“It will work if used correctly,” the shop owner said confidently.
If used correctly? Oh, ok, I thought, there’s the disclaimer. If anyone tried to return it for the money back guarantee, she would probably just say it wasn’t used right.
“How does it work?” Susie asked.
“The potion attracts what you need so you get what you want. Just dab it on your skin like you would a fragrance…that’s all you have to do.”
As I handed over the bills, I shook my head at Susie. “Don’t forget to pay me back.” That was a lot of money, especially for some hocus-pocus crap. But who was I to tell Susie how to spend her money? All I could do was shake my head as the shop owner, Serena, handed Susie her package.
“Yeah, just you wait, I’ll be rich soon.” Susie dropped the small package inside the thrift store bag.
As Serena handed me the bag with the trinket box, I tugged Susie’s arm. “Come on girl. We’ve got to get back to work or Sam will kill us. Sam, short for Samantha Courtland, owned Courtland’s Gems. She was a fair boss, but pretty strict with the rules. You couldn’t blame her. Her husband Jon Courtland had passed away suddenly a year ago and she had two young children to support. His family had owned the jewelry business for a number of years and Sam had worked with him. After he passed, she took it over. But with the economy the way it was, the jewelry store was just barely getting by.
“Yep, let’s go!” Susie chirped. “We got work to do and a party tonight. And I can’t wait to get back to the office and put on some of this ‘get rich potion’…the sooner I get rich, the better!”
Chapter Four
By the time I got home from work, my feet were dragging. What an exhausting day. Susie and I had returned to the store to find a crisis. There was a break in a water pipe and Sam was busy trying to mop water and tend to customers at the same time. Fortunately, we were able to get things under control pretty quickly and the rest of the day was uneventful.
I dropped the shopping bag on my coffee table. Susie had given me the bag and told me I had first dibs on which of the ugly sweaters to wear. I was picking her up at 7:30pm and she would pull on which ever one I didn’t choose over her tee.
Of course I hadn’t told Susie that I’d already made up my mind and was wearing the pelican sweater, but she’d find that out soon enough when I handed her the penis snowman sweater. I couldn’t help but giggle thinking about it.
After fixing a cup of tea, nibbling on a few oatmeal cookies and watching some TV, it was time to get ready for the party. I went into the bedroom and pulled on a thin tank top to keep from itching under the sweater. Then, I went back to the living room, where I dumped the two sweaters out on the coffee table. Yep, the snowman sweater was just as ugly as I remembered it.
Whoever came up with the idea of an upside down snowman with a strategically placed carrot for the nose was brilliant! As I picked up the sweater, the little bag containing the potion that Susie had purchased at the metaphysical shop dropped out from underneath it; the vial tumbling partway out of the tissue paper. I’d forgotten Susie had dropped it in the bag when she bought it. We’d been so busy at the jewelry store waiting on customers and cleaning up the mess from the busted pipe, she obviously had forgotten about it too.
I pulled it the rest of the way out of the tissue paper. Twisting the side around, I held it up to the light. It sure looked like blue colored water to me. I wondered if it was made in China. They probably mass-produced these things. As I turned it back, I read the label. It said ‘baby maker potion’. What the…? Susie had purchased the ‘get rich potion’, not this one. The shopkeeper must have put the wrong one in the bag.
As I studied the vial, my mind floated off to visions of a tiny baby nestled in a crib; so sweet and soft. I imagined holding and kissing the child. If only a potion really could make my dream come true. But how could it possibly work? Was I supposed to dab a bit on and find myself suddenly pregnant? That was ridiculous. I set the vial back on the table and pulled the pelican sweater on over my tank top.
Then I went to the bathroom to see how bad it looked. I examined my reflection in the mirror. Clothes, unless they were loose, tended to accent all of my bulges. Happily, the pelican sweater was oversized, so instead of looking like I was busting at the seams I had more of a boxy look. As I turned to look at the side view I had to admit it was pretty awful, but at least there was no penis carrot dangling from the front.
Staring into the mirror I noticed my eyes looked tired and ringed. God, I was showing my age. I knew my time clock to have a baby wa
s ticking. I took some cover up and ran it over the dark shadows. Then I brushed my hair and applied a bit of rose-colored gloss. I never wore a lot of makeup, and friends even teased me about being a bit of a plain Jane, but at least I’d made an effort tonight.
I picked up the snowman sweater, tossing it over my arm to give to Susie. I smiled as I thought about her wearing it. She was so cute, curvy, and blonde she’d pull it off and probably look gorgeous. Then I grabbed the vial. She would have to return it for the correct one; the one that was supposed to make her rich. I shook my head. Susie was such a dreamer.
‘Baby maker potion’ indeed, I thought as I re-read the label on the potion. As I held it, a vision of a cuddly baby floated through my brain again. Of course it couldn’t possibly work...
But when I thought about it…what did I have to lose? I could just put on a tiny bit and see what happened. It wasn’t sealed. No one would ever notice a dribble missing, would they?
I couldn’t resist. I pulled the cork stopper out of the tube and gently patted a bit on my wrists and neck. Sniffing my wrist, I didn’t notice anything at all. There was no smell to it.
I shook my head. What the heck was I thinking? Replacing the cork, I tucked the potion in my purse. I had to make sure I didn’t forget to give it to Susie. I hoped she hadn’t pitched her receipt.
I glanced at my watch. It was time to pick up Susie. I grabbed the bag with the sweater in it and the hostess gift for Janet and headed out the door.
***
“Argh!” I almost lost my footing in the high heels I was wearing as I walked towards Janet’s place, but it was all about the look. If I had to wear an ugly Christmas sweater, I would at least wear cute shoes. The strappy cream-colored heels I had on were four inches at least. Great for show—but not for walking!
I was getting sweaty from the walk. So many cars were parked at Janet’s place that I’d had to drop Susie off in front. Then I’d spent a good ten minutes hunting down a parking spot. I’d finally found one tucked behind a building on a deserted, dimly lit street.
Thankfully, I was finally at Janet’s. I sure didn’t feel my sexiest in the holiday sweater, and especially not now with perspiration dripping from me. However, there wasn’t much I could do about it. As I walked through the door, Susie spotted me and sashayed her way over.
“Janet’s over there,” she said, pointing to our friend, and we made our way over to her.
“Mwah! Mwah!” Janet gave Susie and I air kisses as she greeted us. Janet was a pretty, curvy woman. She was wealthy and tended to brag about her money, but she was very generous, too, so we overlooked it.
“The place looks awesome!” I said. Janet had outdone herself with the decorations. A giant tree festooned with glass ornaments was the focal point in the living room and silver garland punctuated the mantel. Her gorgeous house looked like it belonged in a beautiful homes magazine.
“Thank you, Anne!” Janet beamed. “I had the pool and patio place decorate it. They turn their place into a Christmas store during the winter months. The tree alone was over fifteen hundred dollars, not including ornaments. It’s a twelve-foot regal fir, and pre-lit.”
“Well, it looks great.” There she was, bragging again. I tried not to roll my eyes at her bragging and throwing away her money. Fifteen hundred dollars for a Christmas tree—I had to work a lot of hours to earn that.
“You’re so sweet,” Janet smiled.
I handed her the bag with the trinket box in it. “Hopefully you will think I am a little sweeter when you open this. It’s from Susie too.”
Unwrapping the tissue, her face lit up. “I love it! And it’s perfect for my…”
Janet’s voice trailed off.
“It’s perfect for what?” Susie asked.
“Oh my gosh. I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but Bob and I are engaged! We are planning to announce it later tonight.”
“That’s wonderful, Janet.” I gave her a hug.
“Congratulations!” Susie said. She looked adorable in black slacks and a cute little red sweater with reindeer prancing across it. When I’d picked her up she told me she’d decided to wear the same sweater she had worn last year. The penis snowman sweater would have to wait another year.
“I was waiting till we announced it to put this on, but I can’t stand it anymore!” Janet reached into the pocket of her slacks, pulled a ring out, and slipped it on her finger.
My eyes widened as I took in the sparkle of the massive rock.
“Shut the door!” Susie squeaked. “That diamond is huge!”
“I hope you’re not mad that he didn’t buy it from Courtland’s,” Janet said, twisting her hand back and forth so the stone caught the light.
“Of course not,” I said. But I had to admit I was surprised. Bob knew that Janet and Samantha were good friends and that Courtland’s Gems was struggling. I had to wonder why he didn’t buy it there to show support for Sam.
“He saw it at a jewelry store when he was traveling and he knew it was the right ring.”
“Aw, that is so sweet,” Susie replied.
Before I had a chance to take a closer look, Janet took it off and put it in her pocket. “I better take it off till we officially announce our engagement. I don’t want to upset Bob.”
“Yeah, that’s probably best,” I grimaced. Bob was known for having a temper when things didn’t go his way.
“The trinket box will be a great place to store the ring when I’m not wearing it at night. Thank you both so much,” Janet gave us a light kiss.
“We’re so glad you like our gift, and congrats on the engagement and the ring!” Susie gushed.
“Well, we shouldn’t keep you from the rest of your guests. Congratulations again! Come on Susie,” I tugged Susie’s arm. “Let’s go get a drink”.
As we left Janet, a feeling of sadness washed over me. Even though I wasn’t that fond of Bob, I was happy for my friend. But at the same time, it made me feel more alone.
“That rock must have cost a fortune,” Susie whispered as we walked away from Janet.
“It did look large. I didn’t really get a chance to see it up close,” I replied. “Speaking of fortune, you forgot to take your ‘get rich potion’ from the bag today.”
Susie’s eyes lit up. “Oh, give it to me now. I need to get rich so I can get a ring like that as fast as possible.”
“Well, I hate to tell you Susie,” I tapped her on the shoulder. “Your get rich days won’t be happening till you go back to Serena’s Gifts and Treasures.”
“Why’s that?” Susie asked.
“The old woman at the shop, Serena…she put the ‘baby maker potion’ in the bag instead of the ‘get rich’ one.” I pulled the vial out of my pocketbook and tapped the side. It says ‘baby maker potion’. I hope you saved your receipt.
“Damn!” Susie shook her head. “I guess I won’t be getting rich tonight. But aren’t you just a little tempted to try the ‘baby maker potion’?” Susie teased.
“That stuff doesn’t work.” I wasn’t about to admit to Susie I’d already splashed a bit on.
“Uh huh, it can. I am betting it contains pheromones.”
“Pheromones? What the heck are pheromones?”
“That’s the stuff in our sweat glands that attracts the opposite sex.”
“Ooohkay. So I can see how maybe, just maybe that would work for finding a partner and having a baby. But how does it work to get rich?”
Susie wrinkled her nose, frowning. “I haven’t figured that one out yet. Hey, look who’s at 12:00!”
I spun around. To my surprise it was Zane Harlan, the hunky guy who had been in the jewelry store earlier in the day looking for a ring for his mother. Naturally, he was looking hotter than ever.
“How did he get here?” I wrinkled my brow. “Hey, that does not look like an ugly sweater to me!” I jerked my thumb towards Zane. No, indeed it did not. Zane had on a solid blue knit sweater that clung to his muscles, defining his biceps. It was obvi
ous he was buff, even in his winter garb.
“I invited him,” Susie chirped.
“What!”
“Well, Janet is always telling us to bring a friend, and he looked so lonely today at the store.”
“Lonely my ass.”
“Then he said he was new to town and hadn’t met too many people. He’s so hot and I just had to invite him,” Susie grinned. “I’d love to have him for myself, but I saw how he looked at you in the store.”
I felt my body grow a little warmer. So, it wasn’t just my imagination today. He had been eyeballing me and turning the charm on in my direction.
“Just go say hi.” She grabbed me by the penguin on my sweater and pushed me in his direction.
Before I had a chance to protest, I was standing in front of Mr. Hotness looking like a total dork and Susie had slipped away. “Where’s your ugly sweater?” I blurted out, and immediately slapped my hand over my mouth. I’d surprised myself with my words. It wasn’t like me to challenge someone like that, but I just couldn’t help it. Why should he look so good when the rest of us looked like cartoon characters?
I squirmed as he gazed at me. His eyes made no secret that they were exploring my curves again.
“Oh, and hello to you too, Anne.”
I nodded. I had to admit it was nice he remembered my name.
“Ha, ha, I see you got in the spirit,” he said grinning, lifting his beer in the direction of my chest.
Was he insulting my pelican sweater? That made me mad. “So, where is your ugly sweater, Zane?” I pressed him. Of course I remembered his name…with a face and body like that, how could I not?
“I didn’t have time to shop for an ugly sweater, and I didn’t have one in my closet. Do you think I should leave?” he asked, his dark eyes twinkling. “By the way, I really like how you look in yours.”
I could feel my face flush as his eyes continued to roam my curves. But where normally I would get totally flustered, for some reason I was able to keep my cool. Maybe it was because I’d sworn off men so it really didn’t matter what he or any other guy said or thought. “No, not at all, as a matter of fact I have the perfect sweater for you. It’s in my car.” I couldn’t help but snicker under my breath. Oh yeah…no one, not even a man that looked like he belonged on the cover of a romance novel, would look good with a fabric carrot dangling from their groin. It was great that Susie had decided not to wear it…heehee…it would look really ‘special’ on Zane.
Shifter Wonderland: Twelve BBW Paranormal Holiday Shape Shifter Romances Page 27
