L is for LAWLESS

by Sue Grafton

  “Nope. We met on the job. We both worked in the shipyards in the old days – Jeffersonville Boat Works outside of Louisville, Kentucky. This was way back, just after the war started. We were building LST landing craft. I was twenty. He was ten years older and like a dad in some ways. Those were boom times. During the Depression – back in 1932 – most guys weren’t even pulling in a grand a year. Steelworkers made half that, less than waitresses. By the time I started working things were really looking up. Of course, everything’s relative, so what did we know? Johnny did all kinds of things. He was a smart guy and taught me a lot. Can I lend you a hand?”

  I shook my head. “I’m almost done,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind if I keep at it. I’d like to finish before I head out.” I picked up the next book, leafing through the pages before I stacked it with the others. If Johnny was opposed to banks, he might have taken to hiding money between the pages.

  “Any luck?”

  “Nope,” I said. “I’m about to tell Bucky to forget it. All he needs to know is his granddad’s fighter unit. I’m a private investigator. This is my pro bono work, and it doesn’t feel that productive, to tell you the truth. How well did you know Johnny?”

  “Well enough, I guess. We kept in touch… maybe once or twice a year. I knew he had family out here, but I never met them until now.”

  I had a rhythm going. Pick a book up by the spine, flip the pages, set it down. Pick a book up by the spine, flip, set. I pulled the last book from the box. “I’ve been trying to place your accent. You mentioned Kentucky. Is that where you’re from?” I stood up, tucking my fists in the small of my back to get the kinks out. I bent down and started returning books to the box.

  Ray hunkered nearby and began to help. “That’s right. I’m from Louisville originally, though I haven’t been back for years. I’ve been living in Ashland, but Johnny always said if I came out to California I should look him up. What the heck. I had some time, so I hit the road. I knew the address and he told me he was living in the garage apartment out back, so I came up here first. When I didn’t get an answer, I went over and knocked on Bucky’s door. I had no idea Johnny’d passed on.”

  “Must have been a shock.”

  “It was. I felt awful. I didn’t even call first. He’d written me a note a couple months before, so I was all set to surprise him. Joke’s on me, I guess. If I’d known, I could have saved myself a trip. Even driving, it’s not cheap.”

  “How long have you been here?”

  “Little over a week. I didn’t plan to stay, but I drove over two thousand miles to get here and didn’t have the heart to turn around and drive back. I didn’t think I’d like California, but it’s nice.” Ray finished packing one box and tucked the top flaps together, setting that box aside while I started work on the next.

  “Lot of people feel it takes some getting used to.”

  “Not for me. I hope Bucky doesn’t think I’m ghoulish because I want to move in. I hate to take advantage of someone else’s misfortune, but what the heck,” he said. “Might as well have some good come out of it. Seems like a nice area, and I like being near the beach. I don’t think Johnny’d mind. Here, let me get these out of your way.” Ray lifted one box and stacked it on top of another, pushing both to one side.

  “Where are you now?”

  “Couple blocks over. At the Lexington. Right near the beach and room doesn’t even have a view. Up here, I notice you can see a little slice of ocean if you look through those trees.”

  I looked around the room with care but didn’t see anything else worth examining. Johnny hadn’t had that much, and what he owned was unrevealing. “Well, I think I’ll give up.” I dusted my jeans off, feeling grubby and hot. I went into the kitchen and washed my hands at the sink. The plumbing shrieked and the water was full of rust. “You want to check anything while you’re here? Water pressure, plumbing? You could measure for cafe curtains before I lock up,” I said.

  He smiled. “I better wait until I sign some kind of rental agreement. I don’t want to take the move for granted, the way Bucky’s been acting. You want my opinion, the kid’s not all that bright.”

  I agreed, but it seemed politic to keep my mouth shut for once. I returned to the main room, found my shoulder bag, and slung the strap across my shoulder, then dug the key from my jeans pocket. Ray moved out of the apartment just ahead of me, pausing on the stair below me while I locked up. Once the place was secured I followed him down the stairs and we walked down the driveway together toward the street. I made a quick detour, moving up onto the front porch, where I tucked the key into the mail slot in the middle of the front door. I rejoined him, and when we reached the street, he began to move in the opposite direction.

  “Thanks for the help. I hope you and Bucky manage to work something out.”

  “Me too. See you.” He gave a quick wave and moved off.

  When I reached home, Henry’s kitchen door was open and I could hear the babble of voices, which meant that Nell, Charlie, and Lewis were in. Before the day was over, they’d be into Scrabble and pinochle, Chinese checkers, and slapjack, squabbling like kids over the Parcheesi board.

  By the time I unlocked my front door, it was almost eleven. The message light was blinking on my answering machine. I pressed the playback button. “Kinsey? This is your cousin Tasha, up in Lompoc. Could you give me a call?” She left a phone number, which I duly noted. The call had come through five minutes before.

  This was not good, I thought.

  At the age of eighteen, my mother had been estranged from her well-to-do family when she rebelled against my grandmother’s wishes and ran off with a mailman. She and my father were married by a Santa Teresa judge with my aunt Gin in attendance, the only one of her sisters who dared to side with her. Both my mother and Aunt Gin had been banned from the family, an exile that continued until I was born some fifteen years later. My parents had given up any hope of offspring, but with my arrival tentative contact was made with the remaining sisters, who kept the renewed conversations a secret. When my grandparents left on a cruise to celebrate their anniversary, my parents drove up to Lompoc to visit. I was four at the time and remember nothing of the occasion. A year later, while we were driving north to another furtive reunion, a boulder rolled down the mountain and crashed through the car windshield, killing my father on impact. The car went off the road and my mother was critically injured. She died a short time later while the paramedics were still working to extract us from the wreckage.

  After that, I was brought up by Aunt Gin, and to my knowledge, there was no further communication with the family. Aunt Gin had never married, and I was raised in accordance with her peculiar notions of what a girl-child should be. As a consequence, I turned out to be a somewhat odd human being, though not nearly as “bent” as some people might think. Since my aunt’s death some ten years ago, I’d made my peace with my solitary state.

  I’d learned about my “long-lost” relatives in the course of an investigation the year before, and so far, I’d managed to keep them at arm’s length. Just because they wanted a relationship didn’t obligate me. I’ll admit I might have been a little crabby on the subject, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m thirty-five years old and my orphanhood suits me. Besides, when you’re “adopted” at my age, how do you know they won’t become disillusioned and reject you again?

  I picked up the phone and dialed Tasha’s number before I had time to work myself into a snit. She answered and I identified myself.

  “Thanks for calling so promptly. How are you?” she said.

  “I’m fine,” I said, desperately trying to figure out what she wanted from me. I’d never met her, but during our previous phone conversation, she’d told me she was an estate attorney, handling wills and probate. Did she need a private detective? Was she hoping to advise me about living trusts?

  “Listen, dear. The reason I’m calling is we’re hoping we can talk you into driving up to Lompoc to have Thanksgiving with us. The wh
ole family’s going to be here and we thought it’d be a nice time to get acquainted.”

  I felt my heart sink. I had zero interest in the family gathering, but I decided to be polite. I injected my voice with a phony touch of regret. “Oh, gee, thanks, Tasha, but I’m tied up. Some good friends are getting married that day and I’m a bridesmaid.”

  “On Thanksgiving? Well, that seems peculiar.”

  “It was the only time they could work out,” I said, thinking ha ha tee hee.

  “What about Friday or Saturday of that weekend?” she said.

  “Ah.” My mind went blank. “Mmm… I think I’m busy, but I could check,” I said. I’m an excellent liar in professional matters. On the personal side I’m as lame as everybody else. I reached for my calendar, knowing it was blank. For a split second I toyed with the possibility of saying “yes,” but a primitive howl of protest welled up from my gut. “Oh, gee. Nope, I’m tied up.”

  “Kinsey, I can sense your reluctance, and I have to tell you how sorry we all are. Whatever the quarrel between your mother and Grand had nothing to do with you. We’re hoping to make up for it, if you’ll let us.”

  I felt my eyes roll upward. Much as I’d hoped to avoid it, I was going to have to take this on. “Tasha, that’s sweet and I appreciate your saying that, but this is not going to work. I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of coming up there, especially on a holiday.”

  “Oh, really? Why is that?”

  “I don’t know why. I have no experience with family, so it’s not anything I miss. That’s just the way it is.”

  “Don’t you want to meet the other cousins?”

  “Uh, Tasha, I hope this doesn’t sound rude, but we’ve done all right without each other so far.”

  “How do you know you wouldn’t like us?”

  “I probably would,” I said. “That isn’t the issue.”

  “Then what is?”

  “For one thing, I’m not into groups and I’m not all that crazy about being pushed,” I said.

  There was a silence. “Does this have something to do with Aunt Gin?” she asked.

  “Aunt Gin? Not at all. What makes you ask?”

  “We’ve heard she was eccentric. I guess I’m assuming she turned you against us in some way.”

  “How could she do that? She never even mentioned you.”

  “Don’t you think that was odd?”

  “Of course it’s odd. Look, Aunt Gin was big on theory, but she didn’t seem to favor a lot of human contact. This is not a complaint. She taught me a lot, and many lessons I valued, but I’m not like other people. Frankly, at this point, I prefer my independence.”

  “That’s bullshit. I don’t believe you. We’d all like to think we’re independent, but no one lives in isolation. This is family. You can’t repudiate kinship. It’s a fact of life. You’re one of us whether you like it or not.”

  “Tasha, let’s just put it out there as long as we’re at it. There aren’t going to be any warm, gooey family scenes. It’s not in the cards. We’re not going to gather around the piano for any old-fashioned sing-alongs.”

  “That’s not what we’re like. We don’t do things that way.”

  “I’m not talking about you. I’m trying to tell you about me.”

  “Don’t you want anything from us?”

  “Like what?”

  “I gather you’re angry.”

  “Ambivalent,” I corrected. “The anger’s down a couple of layers. I haven’t gotten to that yet.”

  She was silent for a moment. “All right. I accept that. I understand your reaction, but why take it out on us? If Aunt Gin was inadequate, you should have squared that with her.”

  I felt my defenses rise. “She wasn’t ‘inadequate.’ That’s not what I said. She had eccentric notions about child rearing, but she did what she could.”

  “I’m sure she loved you. I didn’t mean to imply she was deficient.”

  “I’ll tell you one thing. Whatever her failings, she did more than Grand ever did. In fact, she probably passed along the same kind of mothering she got herself.”

  “So it’s Grand you’re really mad at.”

  “Of course! I told you that from the beginning,” I said. “Look, I don’t feel like a victim. What’s done is done. It came down the way it came down, and I can live with that. It’s folly to think we can go back and make it come out any different.”

  “Of course we can’t change the past, but we can change what happens next,” Tasha said. She shifted gears. “Never mind. Forget that. I’m not trying to provoke you.”

  “I don’t want to get into a tangle any more than you do,” I said.

  “I’m not trying to defend Grand. I know what she did was wrong. She should have made contact. She could have done that, but she didn’t, okay? It’s old business. Past tense. It didn’t involve any of us, so why carry it down another generation? I love her. She’s a dear. She’s also a bad-tempered, penny-pinching old lady, but she’s not a monster.”

  “I never said she was a monster.”

  “Then why can’t you just let it go and move on? You were treated unfairly. It’s created some problems, but it’s over and done with.”

  “Except that I’ve been marked for life and I’ve got two dead marriages to prove it. I’m willing to accept that. What I’m not willing to do is smooth it all over just to make her feel good.”

  “Kinsey, I’m uncomfortable with this… grudge you’ve been carrying. It’s not healthy.”

  “Oh, come off it. Why don’t you let me worry about the grudge?” I said. “You know what I’ve finally learned? I don’t have to be perfect. I can feel what I feel and be who I am, and if that makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you’re the one with the problem, not me.”

  “You’re determined to take offense, aren’t you?”

  “Hey, babe, I didn’t call you. You called me” I said. “The point is, it’s too late.”

  “You sound so bitter”

  “I’m not bitter. I’m realistic.”

  I could sense her debate with herself about where to go next. The attorney in her nature was probably inclined to go after me like a hostile witness. “Well, I can see there’s no point in pursuing this.”

  “Right.”

  “Under the circumstances, there doesn’t seem to be any reason for having lunch, either.”

  “Probably not.”

  She blew out a big breath. “Well. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, I hope you’ll call,” she said.

  “I appreciate that. I can’t think what it’d be, but I’ll keep that in mind.”

  I hung up the phone, the small of my back feeling damp from tension. I let out a bark and shook myself from head to toe. Then I fled the premises, worried Tasha would turn around and call back. I hit the supermarket, where I picked up the essentials: milk, bread, and toilet paper. I stopped by the bank and deposited a check, withdrew fifty bucks in cash, filled my VW with gas, and then came home again. I was just in the process of putting groceries away when the phone rang. I lifted the receiver with trepidation. The voice that greeted me was Bucky’s.

  “Hey, Kinsey? This is Bucky. I think you better get over here. Somebody broke into Pap’s apartment and you might want to take a look.”

  Chapter 3

  *

  I knocked at Bucky’s front door for the second time that day. The early afternoon sun was beginning to bake the grass, and the herbal scent of dried weeds permeated the November air. To my right, through a stucco archway opening onto a short length of porch, I could see the scalloped edge of the old red-tile roof. In Santa Teresa the roof tiles used to be handmade, the C-curve shaped by laying the clay across the tile worker’s thigh. Now the tiles are all S shaped, made by machine, and the old roofs are sold at a premium. The one I was looking at was probably worth ten to fifteen grand. The breakin artists should have had a go at that instead of the old man’s apartment with its cracked linoleum.
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br />   Babe opened the door. She had changed clothes, discarding her black T-shirt and black pedal pushers in favor of a shapeless cotton shift. Her eyes were enormous, the color of milk chocolate, her cheeks sprinkled with freckles. Her excess weight was evenly distributed, as if she’d zipped herself into an insulated rubber wet suit.

  “Hi. I’m Kinsey. Bucky called and asked if I’d stop by.”

  “Oh, yeah. Nice to meet you. Sorry I missed you earlier.”

  “I figured we’d meet eventually. Is Bucky out back?”

  She ducked her head, breaking off eye contact. “Him and his dad. Chester’s been screaming ever since we got home. What a butt,” she murmured. “He’s all the time hollering. I can’t hardly stand that. I mean, we didn’t make the mess, so why’s he yelling at us?”

  “Did they call the police?”

  “Uhn-hun, and they’re on their way. Supposedly,” she added with disdain. Maybe in her experience, the cops never showed up when they said. Her voice was breathy and soft. She was a bit of a mumbler, managing to speak without moving her lips. Maybe she was practicing to be a ventriloquist. She stepped back to let me enter, and then I followed her through the hallway as I had earlier with Bucky. Her rubber flip-flops made sucking noises on the hardwood floor.

  “I take it you just got home,” I said. I found myself talking to the back of her head, watching the bunch and release of her calves as she moved. Mentally, I put her on a weight program… something really really strict.

  “Uhn-hun. Little while ago. We went out to Colgate to visit my mom. Chester got home first. He bought this ceiling light he was fixing to put in? When he went upstairs, he could see where the window was broke, all this glass laying on the steps. Somebody really tore the place up.”

  “Did they take anything?”

  “That’s what they’re trying to figure out. Chester told Bucky he shouldn’t have left you alone.”

  “Me? Well, that’s dumb. Why would I tear the place apart? I’d never work that way.”