by Dyanne Davis
“What does that have to do with him giving me away?”
“Duhhh. You’re marrying the man who was engaged to the woman your brother is now in love with. Use your brain, girl. Do you really think your brother will be comfortable doing that? No. You’re taking advantage of him, just like you always have.”
Mia winced. “Keefe loves me. He wants to do it,” she repeated, hating the fact that her mother had reduced her to feeling as if she were still a little girl. Mia could feel the pressure building in her. She shook her head, ordering herself to not allow the words inside.
“That’s just it, Mia. He’s not your father and you’ve asked too much of him already. He’s given up everything for you. Now you want to put him in a position where he’s bound to be uncomfortable. Why don’t you ask him? Tell him you’re going to ask someone else. See if he puts up a fight or if he’s relieved.”
“I can’t do that to Keefe. He’s looking forward to this.”
“Is he? Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Mia answered, not feeling sure at all. “I want him to…”
“See? There it is. It’s what you want. And you two have the nerve to call me selfish. I’m realistic, Mia, I don’t use rose-colored glasses to look at the world as you do. I see very well without them. I was there. I heard Keefe tell you it was time the two of you let each other go.”
“He didn’t mean it like that. He just thought we depended on each other too much. He would be hurt if I asked someone else. You don’t know him and you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ahh, you’re getting angry.” Her mother laughed at her. “Are you afraid to know that your brother has gotten tired of you? Wake up, Mia, and grow up. It’s time you let your brother get on with his life. If I’m wrong, he’ll tell you. But for heaven’s sake, you owe him that much. Just tell him you’re going to ask someone else. You’ll see how relieved he is.”
“I’ll talk to you later, Mom,” Mia said, this time more than ready to hang up.
“Mia,” her mother called out before she could hang up. “About that other thing. I wasn’t kidding you. You’d better get some experience before your wedding night or Damien’s going back to his old ways real quick. Hell, the first woman that he sees he’s going to want to screw if you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I? Hey, I just thought of something. I know why Damien wants to marry you in such an all-fired hurry. You won’t give it up and he wants the drawers. God, how I wish I could be in the room with you on your wedding night. What a joke that’s going to be.”
Mia hung up the phone, her mother’s vulgar words and cruel laughter ringing inside her head. All of the joy she’d felt when she’d called her mother was now gone. She looked down at her hands. They were trembling. She wanted to talk to her brother, tell Keefe what their mother had said to her. She wanted to hear him tell her that the whole thing was ridiculous, that of course he wanted to walk her down the aisle, that she was not being selfish in asking him, that he loved her. But she didn’t call him. She’d deal with this as she had every problem in her life, only not right now. She didn’t want to relive the conversation so soon. Her process would work when she was ready. It always had.
As for Damien, a lump formed in her throat. He’d been teasing her about giving it up. That wasn’t why he wanted to marry her. She refused to entertain that thought. Mia hated her mother for planting the seeds of doubts. She knew her life with Damien would be what they made it. It still remained in her control. She was determined not to allow the seeds to take root.
Mia fell asleep knowing that her mother might be right about Keefe. He would do anything to make her happy, even if it made him miserable. He’d proven that over and over. God, she prayed, let her mother be wrong. She wanted him to be the one to give her away.
Chapter Four
Mia’s hand shook as she applied her lipstick. Three days had passed since she’d talked to her mother. At the oddest times her mother’s words would jump out at Mia, making her doubt, reminding her of things she’d rather keep hidden. Her mother’s words had restarted the prickly sensation that crawled over Mia’s skin when she’d been hurt.
She chewed on her lips, hating the way her mother always threw her a little off kilter. Every time she took two steps forward, boom, her mother would do or say something, and Mia would be back at the beginning. She hated the power her mother had over her; she hated the fact that in spite of all the woman had done she still wanted her mother to love her and Keefe.
Give Keefe a chance to say no. Tell him you’re going to ask someone else to walk you down the aisle. Are you afraid?
A shiver traveled from the crown of her head to her back and hovered around her hips. Mia blew out a breath, determined to let go of her mother’s hateful words. It had always been Mia and Keefe against the world. Nothing had changed. Her emotions began to thunder through her faster than she could keep pace, faster than even her deep breathing could handle. Later, she thought. I’ll deal with it later.
With an even shakier hand Mia finished applying her makeup rushing out to answer the door when she heard Damien calling her name. Tonight they would meet with Keefe and Ashleigh. The four of them would mend their fences and attempt to become a family. She would forget her past; she would forget everything but her future happiness.
* * *
Keefe sat next to Ashleigh, smiling at his baby sister. She was beaming and he was happy for her, thrilled that she was getting what she wanted. Still, there was doubt that clawed at him, fear that she was rushing things.
“A month, Mia? Why the rush?” he asked at last, watching as Mia’s face became red.
“Damien and I talked. It’s going to be closer to two months.”
“That’s still a very short time. What’s the rush?” Keefe turned as he heard a snicker from Ashleigh and glanced at her, then at Damien before he understood. “Oh, I get it,” he said softly, not wanting to carry that part of the conversation farther. “Okay, tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”
“When are you going to stop taking advantage of your brother? He’s not your father and you’ve asked too much of him already.” Her mother’s words were hammering away at her. Not now, she thought, balling her hand in her lap and wishing she’d examined her feelings earlier.
She shook her head slightly before looking at the way Keefe was holding Ashleigh’s hand. Could her mother be right? She didn’t want to think it, but the notion refused to budge. Maybe she should offer him an out and see if he’d take it.
“Mia, snap out of it. There’s a lot to be done in two months, but between the two of us I’m sure we can handle it. Now what do you want me to do?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Keefe laughed and shook his head, grinning at his sister. She was kidding, she had to be. This was Mia. Not want him to do anything? No way was that possible. “Mia, come on, we don’t have time for us to pretend you don’t need my help. I’m willing to give it. Now tell me what you need.”
“I’m serious. I don’t need you to do anything. I’m going to handle everything on my own.”
“I can help,” Damien offered.
“So can I,” Ashleigh chimed in. “Four people working will take a lot of the pressure off you, Mia.”
“Thanks,” Mia said slowly, “but I don’t need any help. I want to do this, Keefe. Alone,” she said for emphasis.
Keefe tried smiling but he couldn’t, so he licked his lips instead. “You don’t need me?” he asked.
“I don’t need you.” Mia answered.
A lump was forming in his throat. He must be saying it wrong. He decided to try again. He smiled, trying not to show that he was hurt. “You need me to walk you down the aisle,” he said, hoping that by repeating the word ‘need’ Mia would look up at him and realize what she’d said. Instead, she smiled at Damien before answering him.
“I was thinking of asking someone else to
walk me.” ‘Give him a choice, leave it up to Keefe.’ Heat flooded her face and her palms turned sweaty. This is crazy, Mia thought. Why should she even think about the nonsense her mother had said? She should not doubt her brother. If she were going to doubt anyone, it should be her mother, not Keefe.
“Who’s going to walk you down the aisle?” Keefe was pissed. It wasn’t like Mia to shut him out of the most important day of her life.
“I was thinking of asking Jerry.”
Keefe swallowed and rubbed his chin, wondering what was going on. When he finally looked up, Damien was staring at him with that damn compassion in his eyes, making Keefe forget that he’d decided to bury the hatchet. He felt the fingers of Ashleigh’s hand gently caress his thigh, trying to offer him comfort.
This was too much. He’d planed forever to walk Mia down the aisle. Just in the past year he had been the one who was going to give her away when she was supposed to marry James. What had changed? He glared at Damien, returning his look of compassion with one of anger. He didn’t want compassion from the man. Suddenly he knew what was different. It had to be Damien who didn’t want him involved in Mia’s life.
Keefe didn’t answer Mia. He couldn’t. How could she sit there so casually talking about shutting him out of her life? He couldn’t believe it.
“Did he put you up to this?” Keefe hissed between clenched teeth, jerking his thumb in Damien’s direction. “Is this some kind of payback for my initial reaction to your being with Mia? Is it the job,” he asked, turning toward Damien.
“I had nothing to do with this,” Damien said, defending himself.
“Leave him alone, Keefe. This was my decision. It’s what I want to do.”
“Then by all means do it,” Keefe sputtered. “I wouldn’t dream of stopping you. In fact that should be one of the first things you take care of. You want to make sure he’s not busy.”
“I know what I need to do and when I need to do it. You’re not my father, Kee. Stop acting like you are.”
Suddenly Keefe was finding it difficult to breathe. He put his hand on his chest and saw the concern in Ashleigh’s eyes. She handed him a glass of water and he took a sip, knowing that it would take a lot more than water to get past the hurt.
“I just want Jerry’s number.” Inside she was praying, Please, Kee, just tell me, no way, no how, is Jerry going to walk you down the aisle. Tell me that you want to do it. Tell me that Mom’s wrong. Please, Keefe.
Keefe stood and reached in his back pocket for his wallet. He rifled angrily through the assorted cards, then threw one down on the table.
Mia watched her brother, her vision clouded by memories of not being wanted by her aunts, her cousins, and her mother. But she could only continue on the path she’d started.
“Do you think he’ll want to do it?” Mia forced the words from her mouth, trying to give her brother one more chance. Her throat was so dry she didn’t know how any words could come out.
“Why shouldn’t he?” Keefe answered, wanting to ask her instead, Why do you want him? Jerry wasn’t the one who’d raised her. He was. Sure, Jerry had given them a helping hand but if she was looking for a father, she should be looking at him, not Jerry.
Damien watched the look of pain cross Keefe’s face and knew that despite his denial and Mia’s, Keefe blamed him for Mia’s decision. Hell, he didn’t even have a clue who Jerry was. He almost laughed. Talk about bad timing… If only Mia had told him of her intention, at least they would have been on the same page.
But Mia appeared to be unaware of Keefe’s pain and Damien was left to bear the brunt of the hate-filled glances. Not this time, he thought. He was not getting in the middle between brother and sister. He’d had enough of being in the middle of family. He’d done it almost his entire life with his parents. He didn’t want to be in the middle of Mia’s relationship with her brother. Whatever she said, he would do. He just needed to make sure she was doing what she wanted.
“Mia, are you sure?” For a long moment only silence greeted him. Mia was staring at him, a puzzled look on her face, while Ashleigh appeared to be holding her breath. And Keefe…if possible, he was even angrier than before. Yet they all waited for Mia’s answer.
“I think I need a father for this.” Her glance took in her brother and she smiled. “Keefe doesn’t care. You don’t mind do you, Keefe?” Again she prayed, Please Kee, tell me that you do mind, tell me you want to walk me down the aisle.
“No, Mia, I don’t mind,” Keefe lied. “You’re an adult, it’s your wedding. Do whatever you want. You want to handle it alone, go ahead.”
“Good. Then that’s settled,” Mia answered around the lump in her throat. For once their mother had been right. She’d given Keefe a choice and he’d chosen not to do it.
Mia didn’t notice that her brother had stopped talking, nor did she notice that he was staring at her with a shocked expression on his face. She was too busy trying not to cry, too busy stuffing her emotions into her psyche for examination later.
If only he’d tried harder to talk her out of it. Mia bit her lip, holding back the tears that were threatening to come. Since Keefe had fallen in love with Ashleigh, things had slowly changed. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for her brother to have someone, she was. It also wasn’t because she wasn’t ready to learn to stand on her own. She just wasn’t ready to let go of her brother.
She glanced at Ashleigh, noticing Ashleigh’s total attention was focused on Keefe. She’d accused her brother months before when she was still engaged to James, of wanting her to get married so his obligations to her would be over. As her gaze moved from Ashleigh to Keefe, Mia now knew she’d been correct. Keefe was relieved not to have to worry about her. Despite all the nasty things she’d said, their mother had been right. A shudder touched her soul.
“Just a thought, and I’m asking only out of curiosity. What about money, Mia?” Keefe asked.
“Don’t worry about the money,” she answered. “I’m going to keep it simple.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I don’t need your money, Kee,” she said a bit more sharply than she’d intended. And she didn’t need his money. She needed to know that her brother wasn’t as happy as he seemed to be about getting rid of her. It wasn’t ever about his money, it was about him. But now, now that he had Ashleigh… Mia bit her lip as she tried to stop the thought, but it came anyway. Keefe didn’t need her. The offer of money was all that he had left to give her.
Mia’s began to rock back and forth so slowly that no one noticed but her. Stop it, she ordered herself angrily, tamping down the need to be alone.
“If you can do it without me, then I’ll stop asking.” Keefe’s voice was also sharp. What the hell was happening? How had a couple of days made that much difference in his sister’s feelings for him? So be it. Whatever the hell she wanted. If she wanted him to stay out of her life he didn’t care. Like hell he didn’t care. It was tearing him apart.
A tense silence followed the brother and sister outbursts. Everyone shifted positions, moving their food around on their plates, doing anything to bring back normalcy.
“Not having to shop for a gown will save time,” Damien said, hoping that the change of topic would bring some needed relief.
“I don’t think so.” Mia glanced in Ashleigh’s direction. “I think I’ll get a new one.”
“A new wedding gown? You paid three thousand dollars for that gown and now you don’t want to wear it?” The words were out before Keefe had a chance to think about his new vow to himself to stay out of Mia’s wedding plans.
“Mia, have you suddenly come into money that I know nothing of? Where the hell are you going to get enough money to pay for a wedding and buy a new gown on your own?” Keefe was fuming. If she so much as hinted that she was going to charge it, he was going to paddle her behind. There was just so much staying out of her business that he was willing to put up with. And allowing her to throw away good money was not one of them.
> Mia inclined her head toward Ashleigh and glared at her brother, not answering him.
“Oh, I almost forgot. Sorry,” Keefe answered, subdued.
“Mia, it’s your gown. You paid for it. If you want to wear it, I really don’t mind.”
Mia looked from Ashleigh to her brother, then turned her attention to Damien. “What do you think?” she asked.
“You did look beautiful in that gown, baby girl.”
He kissed her lightly and she smiled. “Thanks.”
That more than anything Mia had said during the course of the evening pissed Keefe off royally. Who the hell did Mia think Damien was? Oh yeah, he’d almost forgot—the man she was going to marry.
And to think he’d played a part in getting Mia back with Damien. Damn. I should have left well enough alone. The moment he thought it Keefe knew he was wrong. He’d done the right thing. Mia had been unhappy without Damien. She’d broken up with Damien because she was trying to protect Keefe under the mistaken idea that Damien was trying to use him, take him for money.
Keefe glanced at Damien, then at Mia. She was happy. That alone was worth him getting her back with Damien. Besides, Damien said he had nothing to do with Mia’s kicking him out of the wedding. If they were going to be family, he had to forget Damien’s past.
Just as he had to forget that Damien had been the man before him in Ashleigh’s life, that they’d lived together for two years and that Ashleigh had been planning to marry him. It would probably be better for all of them if Mia didn’t wear the gown Ashleigh had made for her own marriage to Damien.
Keefe felt the pressure of Ashleigh’s hand squeezing his thigh. He would have to forget all of that, just as Mia would. Ashleigh loved him now, just as Damien loved Mia.
Keefe wouldn’t deny that a couple of times when he’d made love to Ashleigh he’d had thoughts of her making love with Damien. But he’d quickly banished those thoughts. And when Ashleigh screamed out his name as she came, Keefe knew he was the one on her mind, not Damien.
