by A. C. James
“That’s a sexy Irish name.” Lillian said with a smirk.
Cyn rolled her eyes. “Oh, he’s definitely fit.”
“So are you going to see him again? Doesn’t he live in the middle of nowhere?”
Her eyes darkened. “He, does and I don’t know what’s going to happen. We’re going to... Skype.”
Cyn flushed, thinking of the portal. The ale was going to her head, and woozy warmth spread through her limbs. She wanted to be on Fallon’s lap, with his strong arms wrapped around her while they were making out. A tingle started between her legs, and Cyn shifted on her barstool, trying to get comfortable. The image of Fallon standing behind her, caressing her breasts and nipples while kissing her neck, filled her brain. Her mouth twitched.
Lillian eyed her suspiciously. “You all right?”
“Fine,” she said.
Cyn was way too warm. She coughed. Bloody hell, Lillian better not catch on.
“I’m going to the loo,” Lillian said, standing up and stretching. “You order another round while I’m gone?”
Cyn nodded, turning around to the bar. The ale glass was sweating in her hands. As much as she tried to clear her mind, she couldn’t stop thinking about Fallon. She wondered what he was doing. She wondered if he missed her, or if he could take another mate. Stallions mate for life, and maybe it wasn’t possible for him to move on, but the thought still stung. Hard. With a pang, she remembered lying in bed with Fallon after making love. He’d always held her. She’d never been much of a cuddler, but she couldn’t deny how safe and warm it was in his arms. Listening to his heartbeat always soothed her. In fact, trying to sleep without him was torture. Cyn swallowed, her skin still feeling hot. She reached up, unfastened her black cardigan, and draped it over the pub stool. The air was cool on her exposed arms and shoulders, but she couldn’t shake the warm flush from all the alcohol. Her head throbbed. Suddenly, she wanted to go home and lay down. Being out with Lillian was tiring. I’m probably just not used to being home, she thought unhappily, finishing the last of her glass.
The bartender brought over two refills and eyed Cyn’s ample cleavage. “Those two blokes over there wanted me to send you and your friend a drink. What d’you say, love?”
“No, thank you,” Cyn said, shaking her head. “But I’ll take another round for us.”
“Suit yourself.” He grabbed the empty glasses and turned around, busying himself at the bar.
Cyn was unpleasantly reminded of the time with Felicity at the pub on the Aran Islands, when they’d first seen Niall and Tomas. Her heart sank, thinking of how she’d tried to flirt with Tomas and misunderstood the situation so badly. Cyn was mortified when she discovered that not only was he mated, he was deeply in love with his mate. She’d seen them at the bonfire, dancing together and gazing into each other’s eyes.
She was no longer her flirty self. Cyn couldn’t pinpoint what had changed, but it didn’t seem fun anymore to pick up blokes for a night. Not when she’d experienced something deeper. Her stomach clenched.
Lillian returned, hopping onto her stool. “What’d I miss? Say, those blokes in the corner are staring at you, Miss Model.”
Cyn frowned and took another drink of ale.
“D’you feel alright?”
“Yeah.” Bloody lie that it was, she stretched in an effort to shake off some of the booze. “They tried to send over a drink, but I didn’t really feel right accepting.”
Lillian gaped. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my sister? Seriously, what’s gotten into you? You’re like a complete stranger.”
Cyn sighed. “Didn’t you say Victor might pop the question? I wouldn’t say it was right for someone in your position to let a bloke buy her a drink.”
Lillian shrugged. “I’m sorry, Cyn. It’s just, you’ve never had a problem with it before. And I can’t figure out what’s changed.”
“A lot,” Cyn muttered.
Two men around Cyn’s age stood up from a table in the corner and walked over. With dismay, Cyn saw they were both smiling at her, cocky, anticipating the chase. She turned away, ignoring them.
“Hello,” said the one on the right, with a smile directed at Cyn.
His light brown hair was tousled from the rain, and he wore a fisherman’s sweater. It seemed weird to be around people wearing modern clothes again, too. She’d grown to love the way Fallon’s backside looked in a tunic. She wasn’t interested in this bloke at all.
“Hi,” she said cagily, turning back to the bar.
The bloke stepped to the side, where there was an empty seat next to her, but thankfully he didn’t sit down.
“I was hoping you might join me and my mate here for a round or two,” he said.
Cyn’s throat closed in a vise, and she shook her head. “Sorry. Not tonight.”
“All right,” he said, sounding dejected. To his friend, he said: “Looks like we’ll have to find us some girls who want to have fun.” When that still didn’t get Cyn’s attention, they both grumbled and walked away, sitting back down at their table. Relief washed over her, despite Lillian’s stare.
“You’ve gone barking mad,” Lillian muttered, digging through her purse for some change. “I’ve got to get home. Victor’s going to wonder where I am. I hope you’ll be feeling a bit more cheery the next time we decide to make a go of it.”
Cyn sighed. “I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been great company. I’m just tired.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Lillian said as she shrugged on her coat. “You disappear for weeks, and now you’re back, moping around. If I didn’t know better, I’d say your game finally caught up to you and some bloke broke your heart.”
“I’ll be fine. See you later, sis.”
Lillian’s expression softened, and she leaned down for a hug. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so harsh. I’m just worried, love.”
She kissed Cyn on the cheek and strode out of the bar. Alone, Cyn hunched over her ale. She gazed out the window, longing for the lush greenery of the Realm. Would she ever see Fallon again?
Ride Episode 7
Chapter One
Cyn thought it was a bit silly texting herself from her mobile, typing out ‘test’ with her bright red-polished thumbnails and then hitting send. For a moment, there was nothing, and she felt a small spark of hope. Maybe my mobile really is bloody broken. Maybe I have bunches of missed calls. Her hopes were dashed when, a moment later, her number popped onto the screen with a new text: ‘test’.
“Bloody hell,” Cyn muttered, rolling on her belly and tossing her mobile off the bed. It landed nearby with an unceremonious clatter.
Through the thin walls, her neighbour’s dog began to bark, quickly followed by a muffled hushing sound. She hadn’t been outside all day. Ever since she left the Realm—and everyone in it—eight months ago, time had slowed to a dull slog. Cyn somehow remembered life in London being much busier, and more fulfilling than she found it now. Without Felicity around, she’d been undeniably bored, all the time. The life she’d loved so much was colourless in comparison to Fallon, Darcy, and the Realm. No matter how hard she tried to snap back to her old self, she couldn’t forget the time she’d spent in the Realm. Even though her agent kept leaving multiple voicemails a day, she didn’t have the motivation or heart to follow up. She could tell he was getting irritated, but even that didn’t compel her to call him back.
The alarm on Cyn’s mobile broke through her haze of boredom. She pulled herself up from her supine pose on the bed and staggered over to a pile of dirty laundry. Sifting through it, she eventually located the offending phone.
‘Meet Lillian for dinner’ flashed across the screen. Cyn clapped a hand to her forehead. Bloody hell, I forgot.
Cyn dressed in a rush, plucking a purple velvet skirt off the floor. She added a swipe of red lipstick and a quick spritz of dry shampoo on her oily roots. A glance in the mirror yielded exactly what she had feared: it was not one of her fairer days. Her face was a
bit puffy and the skin around her eyes was practically translucent, showing dark purple smudges. Cyn pulled a face in the mirror and left her flat, walking briskly toward the tube station.
Lillian and Victor lived in Bermondsey. Cyn hurried down the steps of the station, rushing onto a train just as it was about to pull away. It wasn’t crowded, and she sat in an empty seat and pulled a book out. The train was dingy and the floor was damp. Cyn found herself longing for the verdant green of the Realm. She thought of lying in bed with Fallon, snuggling and kissing and laughing together under the covers. Her chest hurt just thinking about it. But despite her longing, she couldn’t face going back. Fallon probably hated her for leaving. She’d hurt him so deeply, and there was no way he could possibly forgive her. Honestly, her reasons for leaving and wanting to return to London were meaningless now. Cyn wasn’t as brave as Felicity, who’d taken a huge leap of faith with Niall. In fact, for all her outward bravado, Cyn was deathly afraid of trusting and taking a chance. Past experience taught her not to give herself freely, because she’d only be let down. Fallon had never let her down...but she’d surely done that to him the day she walked away from all he offered.
Cyn gulped, and pushed down the memory of lying naked in his bed. She stopped on the street before Lillian and Victor’s flat, buying a bottle of wine from a shop. Although she didn’t exactly know the reason for this visit, she could guess. Lillian was acting funny, and Victor worked until much later in the evening, so it’d be her and her sis. Cyn wouldn’t have admitted it to Lillian, but that was a relief. Maybe Lillian wasn’t ready to take the next step with him. A small, selfish part of her was glad her sister would be in the same boat. They could commiserate. Cyn had fielded a dozen late-night hysterical mobile calls from Lillian in the past few months, and she had a sinking suspicion Lillian was either going to announce a breakup or an engagement. Even though she wanted her sister to be happy, misery loved company, and she kind of hoped wedding bells weren’t in the works.
Cyn knocked on the door. When her sister didn’t answer, Cyn used her key to let herself in. There was tea on the stove and some crudités spread out on the kitchen table, but no sight of Lillian.
“Sis?” Cyn called, setting down her bag. She put the wine in the fridge, looking for any tell-tale champagne. There was none, and she closed the door, puzzled. “Lillian?”
There was muffled thumping and then a burst of footsteps from upstairs. Lillian clattered down the stairs in heels and a beaded cocktail dress.
Cyn nodded in approval. “Wow!”
Lillian reached the base of the stairs and twirled once, the edges of her frock flying through the air. Cyn was always the fashion-obsessed, party-girl sister. Lillian was more bookish and less social. When they were growing up, Cyn’s obsession with fashion led to a lot of teasing between them.
“You like?” Lillian sounded sceptical. She twirled again, more slowly this time.
“You look posh,” Cyn praised her sister, the old magic of a beautiful outfit reviving a bit of her spirit. “What’s the occasion? I thought we were just going to nosh here.”
Lillian grinned. “We are. I’m changing, but I wanted to get your opinion on this.” She gestured toward the dress, spreading the folds of the skirt with her pale hands.
Cyn nodded and smiled. “I absolutely love it, but... You’ve never much cared for my opinion in the past. What’s the big to-do now?”
Lillian blushed, looking down at her feet. “I, uhmmm...”
“Spit it out.” A twinge of anxiety shot through her.
“I was wondering if it might look nice for engagement photos,” Lillian blurted out in a rush.
“Oh my god.” Cyn grasped for the right words. “That’s...that’s amazing, Lillian. Is this what you really want? I mean, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations.”
It was harder to say it than her sister could have possibly known, but Cyn had to support her.
Lillian nodded furiously, grinning from ear to ear. “Are you daft? Yes, of course. I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t really sure.”
With her cheeks pinked and her hair coming loose from a messy bun, Cyn was suddenly in awe of her sister’s beauty.
“Good, I’m glad,” Cyn said, reaching out for a hug.
They embraced and Cyn squeezed her sister tight. She couldn’t help wondering if their relationship would change.
“Now I’m going to switch,” Lillian said, clomping up the stairs in her heels. “I’ll be right back down.”
Her sister disappeared into an upstairs room. Well, Mum was right. It wasn’t going to be me first. She walked back into the kitchen and sat down at the table, aimlessly picking up a toast point and shredding it.
“Now we can really talk,” Lillian said as she appeared suddenly in the doorway. She’d morphed back into her everyday casual look of loose boyfriend jeans and a plain sweater. Cyn waited until her sister was settled on the other side of the table with a mug of tea in front of her before she started the attack.
“I’m happy for you, but I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“He really gets me, Cyn,” she said, and took a sip of tea. “And I know you may not understand it, but I love him. Obviously it’s the next logical step in our relationship.”
This was like a punch to the gut. The implications of it in terms of her and Fallon washed over her, making her numb. Love was living with each other day-in and day-out, and flesh-filled nights to get you through all the bollocks you faced every day. You’d wake up next to someone who’d always have your back. And yet she’d run from it, because she was afraid of herself. Maybe there was something wrong with her, or she didn’t have the staying power to settle down with one man for the rest of her life. Or maybe the men who’d viewed her as an object to bed had convinced her that all of them were shallow, and love didn’t exist. For fuck’s sake, how had she become so cynical?
“How do you know he’s the one? There’ll be other men,” Cyn said, as she spread some jam on another piece of toast. “And you haven’t been with him long enough to know for sure. You’ve barely been together a year, and living together is new. Can’t you settle for that and get to know the bloke a bit better?”
“Oh, and you’re the old and wise one?” Lillian’s tone was sarcastic, and Cyn gave her another look over her toast. “What?”
“Lillian, you should only get married if you’re absolutely sure, and the two of you are still in the honeymooning phase. If you’re excited about spending every day of your life with him, then make sure it’s right by living together for longer than you have been.”
Cyn tried to sound authoritative, but with her track record it was damn near impossible. All she could think about was Fallon and how she’d run like a scared little mouse. She bit her lip, thinking anxiously of how much she regretted leaving the Realm.
“Yes, but that’s it exactly,” Lillian said, as she nibbled a tea biscuit. “I can’t see myself feeling like that about anyone else but Vincent. Yes, he makes me crazy sometimes, but I’ve never had this with anyone else. Marrying him is my choice, and I really want you to support me. You’re my sister...”
Cyn hated herself for making her sister sad. “I’ll always support you. I just love you, and don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Sometimes...” Lillian cleared her throat. “Sometimes you know right away. It does happen. It’s deeper than some bloke shooting you fuck-me eyes. You’re connected, and when you know, you just know.”
Cyn frowned. “Sometimes I wish I had that. It happened to Felicity.”
“I haven’t seen her in ages. How is she?”
Cyn was grateful for the convenient not-quite-lie. “Married. She and her husband saw each other and knew right away. I could tell. Hell, everyone watching them could tell.” Her guts twisted. And I could tell because I had that with Fallon, but I couldn’t take a chance. “I’m sorry I’ve been hard on you.”
“Thank you,” Lillian said, with a smile. “I�
�m sure one day you’ll find someone who makes you feel the way Victor makes me feel.”
Cyn tossed her hair out of her face. She was determined not to let her Lillian catch on to her loneliness, even though she was secretly dying to tell her sister and mum all about Fallon. “Right, right. So you wouldn’t rather wait?”
Lillian spat a mouthful of tea back in her mug, looking apologetic. “God, no. Sorry. I don’t want to wait. Vincent and I are great together, and I know he’ll be a good husband.”
“I’m sure.”
She smiled for her sister’s sake, but the air between them was awkward. How much longer would Lillian talk about the upcoming wedding? Cyn hated to admit it, but she already dreaded her sister’s pending nuptials.
“D’you want to see my ring?” Lillian stuck her hand in Cyn’s face, fluttering her fingers. On her ring finger was a thin band of white gold, with a cushion cut diamond set into its face. It glittered in the low light.
Cyn could tell it was expensive, but not overly so. She grabbed her sister’s hand, and the ring caught and refracted rainbows of light. “It’s lovely.”
Lillian grinned. “I know, right? Turns out, Vincent picked it out months ago.”
Cyn sighed. “Well, I wish you and Victor all the luck in the world. I really do.”
The sisters gossiped and tucked into the spread of canapés Lillian had prepared. She was studying at a culinary institute, and even joked about planning to cater the wedding herself. Cyn was disappointed when it was time to go home. They’d always been close, and she forgot how much she enjoyed these moments with her sister. She ought to stay to congratulate Vincent, but Cyn wanted to leave before she was forced to watch the happy couple together. She missed Fallon in the worst way, and she knew she was responsible for her own unhappiness. She’d really fucked it up good this time. If I’d trusted my heart, we might still be together.
Chapter Two
Cyn trudged along the sidewalk to her flat, ignoring the throngs of people. She wormed her hand into the side pocket on her bag and fingered the communication portal Fallon had given her. She’d been trying for days to get a signal from him, but nothing. As always, the glass was unusually cool and smooth against the hot skin of her fingers. The more she thought about it, the more she was astounded something like that could really work. Except it bloody doesn’t. She grimaced. He hasn’t answered any of my calls. He must be furious at me for leaving.
