“God damn, Claire.”
He grabs my hips and presses me into the piano. His eyes are filled with lust, and he devours my lips in a frenzied and passionate kiss. The sun has set, and the only light illuminating the room comes from streetlights and the soft lamp beside the sofa. He moves his hands to my ass, and I feel his hard-on up against the seam of my jeans.
“I want you right now, right here,” he whispers. He moves his hands down to open my belt, and I reach down and lift his shirt over his head, exposing his upper body. I toss his shirt and trace my fingers down his chest. Goosebumps rise on his inked skin, and my fingers find the patch of hair above his belt. I open it, and he kisses me again. He slides his pants and underwear off, now towering completely naked in front of me. I only have seconds to appreciate his naked body before he undresses me and spins me around. My stomach is pressed against the piano and my breath escapes me as he grinds his cock into my ass, opens my bra and tosses it to the side. He presses his chest into my back and I lean back into the warmth of his skin. His movements are so impatient, so hungry.
“I can’t wait to be inside you again. All I do is think about you. Tell me that you want me.” He kisses and licks my shoulders, and his words make me wet.
“I want you.”
A growl escapes him as he runs his hand around my middle. His fingers find my clit and rub quick circles around it. The burning ache between my legs intensifies with his touch.
“You like that? That feels good?” He plunges two fingers inside me, swirling them around. I gasp at how good it feels. “How about this? Do you like this?”
I’ve never had someone speak this way to me before. It turns me on and makes me feel vulnerable at the same time, but something inside me wants to answer him. “Yes. I like it. Don’t stop.”
He brushes my hair over my shoulder and kisses between my shoulder blades, still rubbing his hard cock on my ass as he pleases me with his hand. I’m on the edge of coming and my skin breaks out in sheen of sweat, but Jason withdraws his long fingers.
“Don’t move,” he whispers.
I do as I’m told. He moves from behind me and my skin chills at the loss of contact. I try to catch my breath as Jason fumbles around. He returns and I hear the crinkling sound of a condom wrapper opening. I don’t want to know why Jason has condoms in his rehearsal space. I just want to feel him inside me again. My need for him outweighs my doubts and jealousy. I turn to look over my shoulder and see our reflections in the large, now darkened, windows.
“Can anyone see us?”
“No, we’re too high up. Unless someone’s out on a roof with binoculars, we’re fine. Let’s give them a good show, just in case.”
He grips my hip with one hand and places the head of his cock at my entrance with the other, but doesn’t push inside me. He grips my hair and pulls it so my face is angled toward him. I love the way he takes control. He leans in and kisses me with his mouth open, his warm tongue flirting with mine. Then he enters me, and I gasp at the familiar ache as my body adjusts to him. I break the kiss, gasping and clutching the piano to steady myself. He swivels his hips, his cock fills me, and then he begins to thrust deeper. I steal a glance and see our reflection in the window. Jason grips my shoulder, holding me steady as his thrusts quicken. His head is tilted back, the silhouette of his perfect profile reflected in the glass. He kisses the back of my neck, moans, and then slides one hand down to my clit.
“Do you see me fucking you in the window? Do you like that? Tell me.”
He’s awakening a part of me that I didn’t know was there. “Yes. I like it. I like to watch you fuck me.”
“Shit. Claire. You’re gonna make me…you feel…so good.” He grips my hip and one of my shoulders, completely controlling the movement, driving himself into me—so deeply that I cry out from the pleasure.
“That’s right, baby. That’s it…” He climaxes just a moment after my own release, and we collapse onto the piano. The cold surface against my bare breasts makes my already hard nipples tingle. We stay like that until our breathing becomes even again, and Jason gathers the picnic blanket and wraps it around us. He brings me to the sofa and we cuddle together in silence. I close my eyes and rub my face against his chest, drinking in his smell as he rubs his nose in my hair.
“Can I ask you for something?”
“Of course, anything,” I answer.
He takes my hand and laces our fingers together. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”
I smile from ear to ear, and laugh at his demure question after he just fucked me against a piano.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing. Jason, I’ve been your girl since the first time I saw you. I’m yours.”
He lets out a contented sigh. “That makes me very happy. Very, very, happy.” He lifts my chin with his calloused fingers. The kiss we share is so intimate, so laced with emotion. “Will you stay with me again tonight, please?”
“Yes. I’ll stay.”
Chapter Seven
I wake in a room that’s now familiar to me. I can tell it’s raining from the soft tapping on the roof and the lack of light coming from behind the curtains. This would normally bum me out, but it makes lying in bed with Jason—my boyfriend—that much more enjoyable. He sighs and readjusts his body next to mine, pulling the blanket up to cover my chest. It’s such a sweet and caring gesture. I smile at his sleeping face. I’m falling so hard for this man, whose passionate nature fluctuates between violent and tender from one moment to the next. I can’t believe he’s lying next to me, with his arm draped over my body and his mouth open slightly as he sleeps. This feels so right, as if I’m supposed to be here with him. His grip on my body tightens and he opens his eyes. He smiles as his gaze rests on my face.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hey.” My smile widens in spite of my attempt to remain cool.
Last night, after our date in the music building, we walked back to his house, holding hands and talking the whole way. It was so easy—so natural. When we got home, we lay in bed and kissed but that was it. He was so gentle and so enthralled in everything I had to say. We drank a bottle of wine, but I was far more intoxicated by his touch. He stroked my hair, my body…he wanted to know more about me, so I told him about my life in Georgia, and he told me about growing up in New York. He went to private school, got into trouble a lot, but was also very introspective and spent a lot of time writing and playing music—things his mother encouraged him to pursue. It was nice to learn more about him and to share more of myself with him.
“So, what are you up to today?” he asks, his voice raspy.
“I have to work at four.”
“Do you want to meet up for coffee or something later?”
“Yes. I’d like that. I’ll text you after work.”
“Okay. Go get your iPod.”
“What?”
“Give me your iPod. I want to see what music you have.”
I oblige his request—his demand—as I wiggle out from under the sheets and crawl across his bed in my underwear and tank top. My ass is on display and he reaches up and gives me a little spank. I squeal and swat his hand away. He laughs and puts his hands behind his head. The sheet has drifted and most of his skin is visible. I see his cock is hard, and my face heats up. My heart races as I absorb reality—he’s mine. I reach into my bag and grab the iPod and my breath mints. I pop one in my mouth to rid myself of morning breath.
“Bring me one of those. Please?”
I crawl back into bed, iPod and breath mint in hand. Jason opens his mouth, his eyes locked on mine and his hands still clasped behind his head. I place the mint on his tongue and he kisses the tips of my fingers. I hand him my iPod and snuggle next to him. He swirls his thumb around the wheel and hands me the left ear-bud, putting the right into his own ear.
He puts on “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” by The Ramones, and chuckles. His laughter is contagious. In spite of his rough exterior, he can be so adorable and sweet. He
scrolls through my entire collection, from Abba to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. He stops on shared favorites and plays several songs we both love. The rain continues to beat down on the roof and I’m dreading leaving the soft sheets of his bed.
“Jason, I have to go.”
He sighs and traces my ribs with his fingers. “Maybe you can stay just a little longer? I’ll drive you home.”
“Okay.”
“Good girl.” He rolls over and slides down into the warmth of the sheets. He brushes my collarbone with his lips and slides his hands down to my ass. I bury the tip of my nose in his hair and drink in his amazing scent. I shiver as he licks his way up my neck, to the base of my ear, and nibbles gently on my ear lobe.
“Claire, I want you.”
I close my eyes and run my fingernails down his back, telling him without words that I feel the same way. He grips my hips and positions me beneath him, then grinds into me and moans into the pillow. I kiss his neck and his shoulder. I run my hands into his hair and down his back. He increases the pressure and speed of his motion, and the added friction creates a delicious sensation for both of us. He straightens his forearms, pushing his upper body off of me, and looks into my eyes as he quickens his movements further. His tongue peeks out from between his lips, and he opens. I’m getting aroused, and he knows it. This sensation is so new for me. He’s hitting just the right spot. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. My breath quickens, and I moan, but he stops. He leans back on his knees and jerks my underwear off and I lift my hips to help him. He slides his own underwear off and his cock bobs in the air. His expression is fierce as he looks down at my exposed flesh. Still on his knees, he plunges two fingers inside me, rubbing his thumb on my clit. The sensation is overwhelming, and I buck my hips up to meet the thrusts of his hands. I close my eyes, lost in the feeling.
“Open your eyes. Look at me.”
I do as he says. My whole body is on fire, and as my blood pulses through me I’m getting closer and closer to release. Just as I’m on the verge, he stops again and leans over me to reach the night table drawer. The ache between my legs is almost painful. I open my mouth and sink my teeth into his side as he fumbles in the drawer for a condom.
“Ow, fuck. Don’t dish out what you can’t take, Claire.”
He leans back on his knees again, sliding the condom over his length. His gaze invades mine. The newfound vixen inside me feels bold.
“Oh, I can take it, Jason.” I sit up.
“Yeah? Let’s see then, shall we?”
He grips my ass, and pulls me into his lap so that I’m straddling him. He pushes me down onto his cock and my breath leaves me as he thrusts up into me, pinching one of my nipples at the same time. His touch is rough, but the pleasure he’s making me feel only intensifies. I lean back trying to meet his thrusts, but my legs are too shaky. He grips the back of my neck and forces his hips into mine. He wraps his mouth around my breast, sucking and licking the skin.
“Mmm. Fuck, you taste so good.”
After pounding into me, he lays me down and grabs one of the many pillows on his bed, then stuffs it under the small of my back. He sits back on his knees again and grabs my hips, pulling me toward him as he thrusts inside me again. My breasts bounce rhythmically as he pounds against me hard. The angle he has created is too much for me to take and I climax. My center pulses and warms as my scalp prickles and my toes point. I bring my hand up to my mouth and bite my finger to stifle a scream.
“You look so fucking sexy like that,” he growls, pounding harder.
He groans as he reaches release. Unlike me, he’s completely uninhibited, not worrying about the noises he’s making as his orgasm ripples through him. He lies down on top of me and slides his tongue against mine, still gently rocking inside me as the last waves of his orgasm crash through him. He pulls me against him. I’m totally blissed out, and I never want to leave here, but I have to.
“I really have to go.”
He sighs into my hair. “Fuck. Okay.”
Although I shouldn’t feel any nerves or shame, I’m glad no one is home when we emerge from Jason’s bedroom. This is still so new, and I haven’t really figured out how my relationships with Lydia and everyone are going to fit into my relationship with Jason. I’m hoping it will be seamless, but nothing’s ever easy.
Once we’re out in the rain, he grips my waist and opens a large umbrella. We jog to his car and he opens my door for me. We make the quick drive to my place and I feel my heart clench knowing I have to say goodbye to him, even for a brief time. He double-parks, shuts the car off, and then reaches over and touches my hair.
“So, I’ll call you later? For coffee, or whatever?”
“Yeah. Yes. Okay. Um, so I’ll see you later.”
He leans in and brushes my lips with his, ending my pitiful stammering. His gesture is more eloquent than I can possibly be with words. I feel my whole body relax with his touch, my anxiety quiets, and I move to open the car door.
Jason hands me the umbrella. “Here. This is Lydia’s. She has a million for some reason. You can borrow it.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye.” I shut the car door and watch as he as pulls away.
When I get home I find Kat in the living room watching TV. “So, what’s up Claire? You didn’t sleep here last night.”
“I’m great. Jason’s amazing, Kat. I can’t even describe how I feel around him. I’m just glad Lydia is being cool about it.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” She gives me a knowing smile, and I blush. I’m not one to go into dirty details, and the details with Jason are very dirty.
I sit at the computer, email my mom, and do some reading. I open my poetry book and begin to read Frost’s Acquainted with the Night.
As I read the poem, I picture Jason. My mind is dominated with images of him, this dark, sweet man, who has now consumed my life and my thoughts. I picture him wandering through Frost’s night, solemn and isolated. I want to be the voice that calls out to Jason’s lonely figure. I want to be an angel for him. I want to be the one who saves him, the one who drags him from the darkness. I lie back on the bed and let my eyes drift closed…
I’m standing in a forest blanketed in snow. The sky is dark as the snow continues to fall. My daddy is there and watching me. I wave to him, but he doesn’t move or smile. Then, a shot rings out, and he disappears. It’s cold, and I don’t have a jacket. I shiver and look around for something, someone to help me. Jason emerges dressed in a long, dark, wool coat. He walks toward me, opens his coat and wraps me in his embrace. The snow stops…
“Claire? Claire, wake up.”
I wake in a dark room, and I can’t tell if its sunrise, or sunset. My eyes adjust as Lydia turns the lamp on.
“Sorry to wake you, but aren’t you late for work?”
“Shit. I fell asleep. What time is it?”
“It’s four fifteen.”
“Shit!”
I slip on my blasted yellow rain boots and race out the door.
I’m hurrying down Bedford when I feel all the blood drain from my face. I see Skye coming my way. My stomach hits the floor. This couldn’t happen at a worse time. I can’t think of what to do, and my thoughts dissolve as Skye turns in my direction. I swallow any intimidation I feel and walk toward her, unwilling to let her see me hesitate.
“On your way to see Jason?” Her face is flushed with anger.
“No. I’m on my way to work. Not that it’s your business.”
Her stare is icy but I refuse to look away. She lurches at me and I flinch in spite of myself. She positions her body in front of me and her breast grazes mine. She whispers in my ear, “Stay the fuck away from me.” She backs up and her cat-like eyes bore into me.
“Listen, it wasn’t my intention to get involved with Jason.”
“Save it, Claire. I broke up with my boyfriend for him, and Jason totally fucking blew me off for you. Sorry if I don’t w
ant to be BFFs with you. See you ‘round.”
I continue down the block and fling the door to the bookshop open. Tony isn’t working, and I’m relieved. It’s dead, so I spend some time reading and surfing the Internet. After a few hours, I count out the drawer and I close up for the night.
I pull my phone out and text Jason.
Meet me the café?
Be there in 20.
I put in my ear-buds, and listen to music while I walk and smoke. The rain is still falling and I watch how it mists and swirls, caressing the brick buildings. I wonder how difficult Skye intends to make things for me. I feel bad about how everything went down, but it’s not my fault. It’s not my problem. I meander over to the café.
Standing next to the door, wet from the rain, is Jason. His jeans and sneakers are damp and his black jacket has beads of water on it, as does his hair. I turn to jelly as soon as I see him.
He smiles as I approach, flicking his cigarette away and walking toward me. He bends down under my umbrella and presses his wet lips to mine.
“I missed you. How was work?”
“It was fine. I ran into Skye.”
His smile fades. “Let’s get inside, out of this rain.”
He holds the door for me as I close up the umbrella. We get in line and Jason moves me in front of him, keeping his hands on my waist as we wait to order.
“You ran into Skye, huh? How did that go?” He lays a soft kiss in my hair and begins to make slow circles with his thumbs on my hips, either out of nervousness or his desire to calm me.
“Well, she told me to stay the fuck away from her.”
“I’m sorry for that. Hopefully that won’t happen again.”
A Flawed Heart Page 10
