by Cat Johnson
Jon couldn’t help but be a little pissed that Chris got a big genuine smile and even a laugh, when all Jon had gotten from Ali lately had been scowls.
Once they were inside the house and the women were huddled over the ring Jon asked, “You hear from your brother?”
“No.” Chris pressed his lips into a tight line and shook his head.
He’d no doubt heard the news about the SEAL casualty too and was worried.
Jon understood how worried Chris must be about his brother. Hell, Jon was concerned about Brody and the team as well. Still, Jon had to comment on Chris’s piss poor timing in the romance department.
“I gotta say, bud, this was one hell of a shit time for you to get engaged. You had to propose to her tonight? Just weeks after Rocky got married?”
One more of his friends getting hitched was the one thing Jon didn’t need right now.
Not while he and Ali were already on the outs regarding that very topic. And not while he was preparing to leave the country for the most dangerous thing he’d ever willingly entered into.
Chris lifted his brows. “For one thing, I had my reasons. For another, I’m not getting any younger. None of us are. If you ask me, I waited too long.”
“So, what? Your biological clock is ticking?” Jon asked with a snort.
“Isn’t yours?” Chris cocked his head.
Jon blew out a loud breath. “No, not at all. The conversation about babies is not even on the table. Ali and I have got enough other things to fight about at the moment.”
Chris’s gaze settled on something just behind Jon and he realized Ali and Darci were not all that far away and he hadn’t kept his voice down.
If she had heard his comments, he’d definitely be hearing about it later.
Jon ran a hand over his face, but refused to turn around. He didn’t need to see her face to feel the daggers she was shooting at his back.
Time to change the subject. “Anyway, I emailed Brody and some of the guys on the team but I haven’t gotten a reply.”
“I doubt you will. I haven’t heard from baby brother since he left. Wherever he is, communications are at a minimum.”
“Are you worried?”
“Yeah. Of course, but uncertainty is a constant state in the life we chose. You know that. Since I haven’t heard from Momma and Daddy, and they’d be the first ones notified, I have to think that no news is good news. The media will release the name soon enough, then we’ll know for sure. Until then, I’m keeping things business as usual.”
How Chris could be so Zen, Jon didn’t know. Hearing of yet another casualty made him want to grab a weapon, board a transport and make someone pay for that life.
In the teams he’d had to wait for orders to do anything. That had been one reason why he’d left the Navy and formed his own company. Yet now he was in the same sit around and wait mode as in the teams.
Military or civilian, it seemed waiting was a way of life.
Maybe Jon needed to take a page out of Chris’s book since he seemed to have this waiting game down to a science.
“You want a drink?” Chris asked.
Jon let out a loud breath. “God, yes.”
Chris laughed at the enthusiastic response. “Then you’ve come to the right place. I highly recommend marrying into a family with Hollywood connections. My future brother-in-law’s girlfriend sent over a case of thirty year old scotch as an engagement gift.”
Jon’s eyes widened. Rick’s actress girlfriend Sierra Cox had sent a case of scotch? He had a feeling their old teammate had a hand in that choice of gifts.
“Well, damn. Does Rick have any other sisters besides Darci that I could date?” Jon laughed.
Chris leveled a gaze on him. “I’d keep my voice down if I were you. I reckon you’re in enough trouble with Ali already.”
“Yup. You’re probably right.” But the scotch would help.
Chris shook his head. “You know. You and Ali, you’re just about the most perfect couple I’ve ever seen.”
Jon drew back at that comment. “Are we?”
It certainly didn’t feel like that.
“Yeah. You are. Trouble is, you’re too dense to see it.”
Jon let out a snort. “Thanks.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Chris reached for a bottle. “Ice or straight up?”
He shot Chris a glare. “Ice in thirty year old scotch? Please, don’t insult me. Straight up is perfect.”
“Good choice.” Chris nodded and splashed a good amount into a glass but then stopped. “Ali driving home?”
Jon glanced over and saw a champagne glass in her hand. “I wouldn’t count on it.”
“Then that’s all you get. I guess you’d better drink up now so you can sober up later.” Chris handed him the glass.
“I guess so.” Suddenly Jon missed the good old days. Back when he and all the guys could drink all they wanted and then crash on Rick’s sofa. No girlfriends. No worries. The memory brought up a good question. “Where is Rick anyway?”
“On his way with Sierra. And Darci invited Isabel over since she’s on base all alone while Rocky’s away.”
The women would outnumber the men at this party, which was the opposite of how it usually was. There had been times in the past when this room had been packed full with SEALs, shoulder to shoulder in a circle, glasses raised.
With those who were still active away—and hopefully safe and sound—the male population had thinned considerably.
That thought brought up the other person who was missing.
“You contact Zane?” Jon asked.
Chris shook his head. “Didn’t even think of it. You can call him if you want. Is he in D.C. hanging with his girl’s daddy the senator?”
Jon bobbed his head. “Yeah, but he’s also there trying to wrangle a meeting and a contract for GAPS. He has his eye on Iraq.”
Laughing, Chris nodded. “That sounds about right. Too bad the senator didn’t get the nomination to be the GOP presidential candidate. Imagine what miracles Zane could pull off with POTUS as his father-in-law.”
Jon snorted. “No kidding.”
God, he hoped this gamble he was taking paid off.
It could just as easily ruin all of their reputations and destroy all they’d built with GAPS. It could also get him thrown in jail as a terror suspect, if not killed.
No wonder he couldn’t sleep at night.
Jon took another sip of the whisky and relished the warmth as it burned through his body.
Maybe this was what he needed to put him to sleep at night. Sex hadn’t done it last night. Hopefully the scotch would help put him out tonight.
CHAPTER 6
“I really am happy for you.”
“I might believe that if you didn’t look quite so miserable.” Darci cocked up one blonde brow.
“It’s not you and Chris. Really. It’s me. And Jon.”
Darci laughed. “Seriously? You’re using the it’s not you, it’s me excuse?”
Ali rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I know.” Darci pursed her lips together. “At least Jon got out of the military. His quitting the teams should have helped things. No more secret missions and all that shit.”
“You’d think that, but no. Now he’s just as secretive with his GAPS stuff as he was when he was in the teams. If not more so. At least when he was in the Navy he didn’t bring work home.”
“Chris’s assignments for GAPS seem pretty straightforward. I mean one time he wouldn’t tell me exactly where he was going, only that it was overseas, but that’s normal. He couldn’t say. It was a government contract.”
Compared to what Jon usually told Ali, which was next to nil, Chris had spilled quite a bit of detail.
“Well, you’re lucky. Jon hides away in his office on the computer with the door shut. Of course, maybe he’s not working at all. Maybe he’s cheating on me.”
“What?” Darci drew back, shaking her head. “No. I d
on’t believe it.”
“So, it’s easier to believe he’d rather work and never spend time with me?”
“First of all, Jon owns the company. Chris just takes a job here and there. Big difference in workload and responsibility. Second, SEALs live and breathe secrecy. You know that.”
“But as you said, Jon left the Navy.”
“Yes, but he didn’t leave the mindset. And he always did throw himself head on into his job. He’s a workaholic. He lives to work, while Chris worked to make a living. They’re different.” Darci shrugged.
It sounded so logical when her friend laid it out in simple terms like that. It didn’t feel logical living it.
“I guess I just thought after I moved in with him we’d get engaged. Hell, I thought before I moved in with him we would.”
Darci drew in a breath. “I know and I’m sorry.”
Ali felt bad for making Darci uncomfortable at a time she should be completely, over the moon happy. “You don’t have to be sorry. And please don’t feel bad that Chris proposed and Jon didn’t. I’m fine.”
“I do feel bad. It’s the one thing that makes today not perfect for me.”
“Now I’m really sorry.”
“No. I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. I want you to know I understand. But please remember, Chris is way older than Jon.”
“Not way older. Ten years, at most.”
“Ten years is a lot. If we don’t have kids until Chris is let’s say forty-five, then he’ll be sixty-three by high school graduation.”
Darci’s math equations weren’t going to work on Ali. She couldn’t envision Chris worrying about his age in relation to babies.
Worrying about how old the kid would have to be for him to teach him to shoot a gun—yes, Ali could definitely picture Chris doing that, but not whining about how old he’d be at the kid’s high school graduation.
This was all just Darci trying to smooth over the fact that Chris had proposed when Jon hadn’t.
“You’re just trying to make me feel better, aren’t you?”
“Maybe. Did it work?” Darci lifted a brow.
“Maybe.” Ali couldn’t be mad at her friend just because she picked a man who wasn’t afraid to commit. Tired of letting Jon ruin her mood, Ali vowed to have fun tonight. “Enough talking about me. Let’s celebrate. I love both of you guys. Hell, after this glass of champagne I even love Rick, even though I know your brother annoys you sometimes.”
Darci eyed the bubbles in her glass. “I love how Rick’s girlfriend sent over this case of very fine champagne for us along with the case of scotch for Chris.”
Ali raised her glass. “That certainly doesn’t hurt.”
“No, it sure didn’t.” Darci laughed. “Rick and Sierra should be here in a couple of hours. The jetsetters are flying in from Miami.”
“Convenient for us that Sierra’s gifts arrived before she did.”
“Of course, they did. Stars don’t carry their own stuff. One phone call from her and the owner of the local liquor store was in his car and on the way over. Apparently, it’s good to be famous.”
“I guess so.” Even as she agreed with her friend, Ali knew she didn’t need an Academy Award like Rick’s girlfriend Sierra to be happy.
All she wanted was Jon. All of him, not just the small pieces he was willing to give her. Ali took another sip and vowed to forget her own woes. Tonight she was here to celebrate with Darci and Chris.
Good thing there was plenty of champagne.
~ * ~
As the evening progressed, the gathering grew.
A couple of Darci and Ali’s coworkers from the bank showed up.
Rick and Sierra breezed into the house with all of the fanfare one would expect from a star. Sierra with a burst of perfume and designer casual clothing. Rick with a complaint about the security lines at the Miami airport.
Rocky’s wife Isabel even came, with her baby Lola.
Ali enjoyed talking to Izzy and holding the baby.
Even with all of the envy she felt, Ali couldn’t begrudge Izzy for wearing Rocky’s wedding ring. Not when the poor girl hadn’t heard from her SEAL husband since he’d left on his last assignment. Ali knew exactly how that felt.
At least Jon was currently in the country and safe. That she could be grateful for. She concentrated on that and the other good things in her life. Good friends. Good food. Really good champagne.
In fact, Ali’s plan to enjoy the party actually worked.
Her good mood lasted through quite a few of the bottles of bubbly.
Lasted all the way until the drive home when she turned to Jon. “Do you know anything about where Rocky is?”
He glanced at her from behind the wheel, looking more interested in her question than he had about anything else she’d said recently. “No. Why do you ask?”
“Izzy hasn’t heard from him since he left. I thought you might know something—anything—that could put her mind at ease.”
He shook his head. “I don’t. Sorry.”
She scoffed, not quite believing him.
“What?” he asked.
“I was just wondering if you’d tell me even if you did know something.”
“Ali, you know how the military works.”
“Yup.” She also knew he liked to keep pointing that out even though he was out of the military now.
Jon continued, “In Izzy’s case, I have to think no news is good news.”
“Because they’ll notify next of kin first for that SEAL they haven’t released the name of yet?”
“You know about that?”
“Yup. Izzy told us. She’s been glued to the news twenty-four/seven.”
“She shouldn’t watch.”
“I know. That’s what Darci and I both told her. It’s hard. Unlike me, she’s still new at this.” Ali was an old hat at being kept in the dark.
She glanced to see if the shot had hit home. Jon drew in a breath but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t easy to get him riled up, which could be very annoying.
Ali was in the mood for a fight. That wasn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it could be cathartic for a couple to have a knock down, drag out argument. Get everything out in the open and then make up.
Unfortunately, Jon would avoid conflict like the plague. All that did was motivate Ali to push him more.
Maybe they really weren’t compatible.
The startling revelation hit her just as he reached out and squeezed her hand.
“Chris hasn’t heard from Brody either. It’s my guess the team is fine. They just can’t get any communications out. I know from experience that sometimes getting the sat-comm set up is the hardest part of the mission.” He glanced at her. “Would it help if I texted Izzy and told her that?”
“Yeah, I think it might.”
Jon tipped his head. “I’ll do it as soon as we get home.”
Home.
His home was her home now too. That was true with or without a marriage license or a wedding band on her hand. Maybe that was all that mattered.
It was times like this, when he was sweet and logical, that she felt guilty for thinking what they had wasn’t enough.
Ali turned her head to study his profile as he focused on the dark road ahead. “I love you, you know. Even when I don’t say it.”
She’d been stingy with the words today when he’d said it to her and she’d refused to say it back. Seeing Izzy so worried, unable to talk to Rocky even if she wanted to, reminded Ali that she needed to put petty feelings aside.
A person never knew which words would be their last.
“I know.” He gave her fingers a squeeze. “And I love you, even when I’m working.”
She couldn’t help the slightly bitter laugh that escaped her. “That’s good because you’re always working.”
He had to pull his hand away from hers to swing the car into their driveway. Cutting the engine, he turned in the seat to look at her. “I’m not working tonight.”
&nbs
p; There was heat in his gaze.
This Jon made her knees weak. This man she’d take with or without a commitment or a ring. But over the past few months this version didn’t show up nearly as often as he used to. Pretty much since he’d taken to growing that long beard.
As crazy as it sounded, it was almost as if the two things were tied together. Jon’s beard. Jon’s elusiveness.
But her old Jon was here now beneath the facial hair.
“I guess we should go inside and take advantage of that,” Ali said.
His eyes narrowed. “Good idea.”
CHAPTER 7
“News.”
“Go ahead.” Jon scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to wake up enough to talk to Zane coherently.
Judging by the oddly early hours of his partner’s last two calls, Zane’s friend was adhering to an early to bed, early to rise work ethic.
That was pretty much the opposite of how the man used to operate in the old days. The days when he was single, living it up, and out every night with a different woman.
Given the evidence, Jon had to credit Zane’s relationship with Missy for this change. Jon just wished Zane’s new diligent work ethic didn’t have to begin at dawn.
“They released the name. He was a west coast guy.”
That meant it wasn’t one of the guys from his former team. Jon let out a breath of relief and then felt immediately bad. Some family had gotten a knock on the door that had changed their lives forever.
Still he couldn’t fight the feeling of gratitude that this time it wasn’t one of their friends.
“There’s more,” Zane continued in a tone that led Jon to think what he had to say wouldn’t be good.
“All right.”
“The meeting is a no go.”
Jon frowned. With all of his connections, Zane usually got any meeting he wanted. “Why?”
“Because anyone looking to go in as advisors are pretty much persona non grata with the military right now. And we can thank whatever idiot planned a meet-up with the Kurds in a village five miles from ISIS-held territory.”
Christ, Jon really needed to remember to grab some coffee before he picked up the phone with Zane. The man was too awake for Jon to deal with this early.
Projecting himself into motion, Jon worked his way to the kitchen to remedy the coffee situation. “You’re going to have to explain that a little bit more to me.”
