This was the same thought that plagued me until I stepped onto the ice two hours later for our game.
In the dressing room after getting my phone back, I read Holly’s text. Sorry about the game.
In case you hadn’t guessed—we lost. Badly.
Me: Is phone sex still on the table?
Holly: On the table. On the floor. On the bed. Wherever you want it.
I smirked at that. Meeting up with Trent and Kelsey first. Will take a rain check on it if you’re offering one.
Holly: Of course. And this rain check doesn’t have an expiry date—and it can be used any time tonight.
Trent and I had already planned where to meet up once I’d returned to the hotel and changed. I sent him a text, telling him I was on my way, and headed to the quiet bar he had suggested.
The best thing about Trent and Kelsey? They didn’t talk hockey after a game—especially if my team had lost. They knew nothing they said would change the outcome, so what was the point of discussing it?
Which meant we could go straight to the topic I had in mind: Holly.
“How’s Holly and Lily doing?” I asked Kelsey.
She frowned, clearly confused at my question. “Don’t you talk to Holly?”
“Yes, but you see her a lot more than I do, so I was just curious.”
“Well, unless there’s something she’s not telling me, she seems fine.” She exchanged glances with Trent.
“What?” I asked.
“She’s been talking about a job offer in Australia she’s starting to consider.”
“But she already has a job in San Francisco.” That she was returning to soon. She’d even hired the nanny last week.
Kelsey bit her lip. I was definitely missing something here.
“Tell me,” I said, a little more forcibly than I should have, if the don’t-shoot-the-messenger look Trent threw me was anything to go by. “Look, I don’t want to see her leave. I love her and I love our daughter.”
“I know, but you’re not around anymore and things won’t get better if you land a contract back in Canada or with another team. Doesn’t Holly at least deserve to fall in love with a man who will be there for her and Lily? Doesn’t she deserve a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with her because he can’t imagine being with anyone else? He can’t imagine a life without her.” She reached for Trent’s hand and threaded her fingers with his.
“So I’m supposed to give up my hockey career for her?”
“No, but why do you want to marry her?”
“She told you that?”
Kelsey’s confused frown returned. “You didn’t suggest you two should get married?”
“Yes, but she shot me down.”
Kelsey rolled her eyes as if I was a complete and utter moron—and maybe I was. “How did you propose to her?”
“Well…” The conversations Holly and I’d had leaked into my dumbass brain. Not once had I actually proposed to Holly. Even though I had told her I loved her, I had still made it sound like a business arrangement between us. I had made it sound like the only reason I wanted to marry her was to keep her from being deported if she ever lost her job and to keep from losing my daughter.
And so she could join me if I was offered a contract elsewhere.
“You didn’t, did you?” Kelsey’s tone was sympathetic more than anything else—and further confirmed that I was an idiot.
I sank back in my chair and shook my head. “No, I didn’t.”
Not once had I considered telling Holly exactly how much I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Not once had I let her know what was really in my heart. So in the end, no matter how much I’d try to do otherwise, I had been like my old man.
Shit.
“If it counts for anything,” Kelsey said, “she really does love you, and I don’t think she wants to go back to Australia. She just wants to do what’s best for Lily.”
Kelsey said something else but I didn’t hear her. I was too busy figuring out how to show Holly how much I loved her and wanted to marry her because of that.
I was too busy figuring out how to propose to her.
37
Holly
There’s an age-old debate as to whether God is a man or a woman. Now, if I actually believed in God, I would completely go with the man theory.
Why?
Because a woman—or at least one who had attempted juggling a diaper bag, baby, stroller with infant car seat attached, suitcase, and everything else she needed while traveling—would have ensured woman-kind sprouted an extra arm or two whenever she gave birth or adopted.
Although an extra friend or two also worked well in a pinch.
As I pushed Lily’s stroller toward the luggage carousel at LaGuardia Airport, Kelsey rushed over and hugged me. She then peered down at Lily, who had fallen asleep the moment I put her in her infant car seat after walking off the plane.
“I can’t believe how much she’s grown since I last saw her,” Kelsey said.
Which was four days ago.
“She’s a regular little bean sprout,” I said, grinning at my sleeping daughter.
My phone pinged an incoming text. I glanced at the screen.
Drew: Interview all set. They’re looking forward to meeting with you this afternoon.
What was that all about?
Drew had convinced me to at least meet with the company who had been interested in me joining their investment team. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least see what they had to say since I was in New York City.
The home of Wall Street.
The place I had originally longed to work—until I landed the job offer in San Francisco. This job was a step up from my current one, with the potential for other great opportunities.
The job offer in Australia? I had told them the other day that I wasn’t interested.
I hugged Trent and glanced around the crowded area. “Is Josh here?”
And in case you were wondering—Josh didn’t know about the interview.
Not yet anyway. I decided to see how it went first.
“No, we’ll meet up with him later,” Trent said. “The team’s practicing and then they’ve got a meeting.”
Oh. Later was when I had my interview.
While we waited for my luggage, I caught up on everything they had done in the short time they’d been here. Trent had gone to Columbia University and had been dying to show Kelsey the city.
Eventually my luggage arrived on the carousel and Trent removed it, then we headed to the parkade and their rental car.
For those of you who are familiar with Manhattan, you are no doubt on the floor now, having laughed so hard you fell off your chair.
The rest of you are scratching your heads, wondering what was so funny. There’s a reason the majority of cars on the streets of Manhattan are cabs. And there’s a reason most New Yorkers ride the subway or hop in a cab to get around. From what Trent had told me, parking in New York City is expensive.
Not to mention New York City drivers are certifiably nuts.
Don’t believe me? Then you have obviously never been here. Sit on the beach in San Francisco and what do you hear? The swoosh of the wind, the crashing waves against the shore, the squawking of seagulls.
What do you hear when you stand on the corner of Broadway and 42nd Street?
Constant honking—the 24-7 honking that doesn’t involve a goose.
As Trent drove us from the airport, the tall Manhattan skyscrapers beckoned to me—told me this was where I belonged.
“What do you think?” I asked Lily, who was still asleep and probably didn’t have an opinion either way. At least not yet—at least not for a few more years.
But instead of driving to Manhattan like I’d expected, we drove past the city toward Long Island.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” Kelsey said, smiling, although I got the idea she was fighting to keep from grinning.
“Why are we here?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” Kelsey said as Trent pulled out his phone and typed something. “We’ll wait here with Lily and call you if we need you.”
“Why do you need to wait? Where am I gonna be?”
She pointed to the building. “In there.”
“And why exactly do I need to go in there?”
“You’ll see,” Trent said with a wink, echoing what Kelsey had already told me.
I glanced back at the building. “Are you sure? It looks closed.”
“I’m positive.”
Alrighty then. I opened the car door and walked to the entrance. According to the hours of operation listed on the door, the building was currently closed, but since Kelsey and Trent were so adamant I go inside, I pulled on the door handle.
The door opened without protest, and I entered the building. The first thing I noticed was the lingering smell of arena, sweat, and floor cleaner.
The second?
Have you ever watched a zombie apocalypse movie? This building reminded me of one, with that eery quiet that always came before zombies popped out of nowhere.
No one was manning the front desk, but on the floor was a sign that said FOLLOW ME, with a trail of red rose petals leading toward a closed door.
Since I hadn’t heard of any zombie infestations hitting the New York area, I figured it was safe to follow the petals. No zombies would be lumbering toward me from a dark corner.
Given the building housed a skating rink, I probably didn’t have to tell you where I ended up. On the bench near the opening to the rink was a sign proclaiming PUT US ON, a pair of figure skates, and a hoodie.
I slipped on the hoodie, which had been designed for a tall, muscular man. The warm, fleecy fabric flooded my body. I slipped my phone into a pocket, then picked up the skates and sat on the bench.
“Okay, I’ve got the skates on,” I called out after I had put them on. I surveyed my surroundings, but as far as I could tell I was the only person here. “Now what?”
No sooner than I had said those two words, jazz music began playing through the speakers.
“Ready for your first skating lesson?” Josh said from behind me. His deep voice almost melted me on the spot, despite the cool arena temperature.
I twisted around to find him standing there with his hockey skates on and his favorite hoodie—and the world’s sexiest smile. If there was ever a smile to swoon over, this would be the one.
“I think so,” I said, grinning at him. “Just be prepared to witness me fall on my arse.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll massage all your aches away tonight.”
I laughed. “In that case, you might be very busy.” I turned back to the ice and took a tentative step forward. “All right. Let’s do this.”
“Are you forgetting something?”
I checked the bench to see what else I could have missed. “What?”
“Well, considering I haven’t seen you in a week…”
I turned back to him in time for his lips to capture mine in a kiss—a kiss capable of melting all the ice in the rink.
And I could’ve kept kissing him for another few hours, but he stepped away—much to my lips’ dismay.
“Better now?” I asked, smiling.
“Much better. Ready for this?” He gestured at the ice.
Did you see it? The sliver of vulnerability on his face?
I had no idea why he would feel vulnerable. It wasn’t his dignity and pride at stake.
He knew how to skate.
And he knew how not to land on his butt.
“Okay, Cool Stuff. Show me how it’s done.”
My years of dance did not prepare me for walking in figure skates. That thin blade under the boots? Designed purely to make the unskilled look far from graceful. It also made for a wobbly walk.
But that was nothing compared to stepping down from the rubber mat onto the slippery ice. My legs instantly tensed and I held up my arms for balance…or at least to attempt to balance.
“You’re doing great,” Josh said from the rink entrance. I was still blocking the way, keeping him from joining me on the ice.
Purely accidental—in case you were wondering. I just didn’t know how to move forward.
I grabbed the low wall and pulled myself away from the entrance. Josh effortlessly stepped onto the ice, then skated forward a few meters to demonstrate what I was supposed to do…if my legs chose to cooperate.
“Okay, I think I got it.” Or not.
Taking great care not to fall on my arse, I slowly let go of the wall.
So far so good.
Josh reached for my hand, which I gladly gave him. If I was going down, so was he.
With my muscles tense like an overly wound elastic band, I pushed my foot against the ice like he had shown me. Surprisingly, not only did I not fall on my backside, I actually moved forward. Could you believe it?
I attempted it again—and was rewarded with the same result.
“I’m skating!”
Josh grinned at me. “Yes, you are.”
He kept hold of my hand while I continued skating, my legs shaky. I was positive if anyone else witnessed this, they’d be laughing their arses off.
But I didn’t care.
I. Was. Freaking. Skating.
We skated around the rink, our progress super-slow. But by the time we had completed a lap, my legs weren’t quite as shaky and my muscles were no longer as stiff as before.
“You enjoying this?” Josh asked.
“Yes.” I flashed him a quick smile. “This was the best surprise ever.” Other than the one that ended up being Lily.
The music ended and “The Way You Look Tonight” began to play. Josh sang the lyrics as we continued skating around the ice, with him still holding my hand.
When he got to the line “Keep that breathless charm,” he stopped skating and turned to face me. “Holly, I never expected to ever fall in love but I did—with you. And even though together we made a beautiful little girl, I would still feel the same way about you even if she hadn’t been conceived. I would have still fallen in love with you. I would have still wanted to spend my life with you—and only you.”
My eyes misted at his words. The words I had longed for him to say all this time. But…
“Did Kelsey tell you to say that?” I asked, voice hushed and strained with emotion.
“No. She made me figure it out myself. But I should have told you all of that from the beginning. While I might not have said those words back then, it was certainly how I felt. I was just too much of a dumbass to realize you didn’t know that was how I felt. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to figure that out.”
He put his hand in his hoodie pocket and got down on one knee. No, I didn’t start sobbing like most girls would have. I had my big-girl panties on. My incredibly sexy, black lace, big-girl panties.
“Holly Whittaker, will you spend the rest of your life growing old with me? Will you marry me?” He removed his hand from the pocket along with a small black box.
The tears? Yes, I’ll admit it. Now they were running down my face.
But before I could answer him, there was one thing I had to do—while I still could.
I removed my phone from the hoodie pocket and speed dialed the number.
Drew answered on the second ring. “G’day, mate. You must have ESP. I was about to call you with the address.”
“I won’t be needing it,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Because Josh just asked me to marry him, and I said yes—or at least I will once I get off the phone.” I spluttered a laugh at Josh’s relieved expression. Relieved but definitely confused. “I was hoping you can tell them that while I thank them for the opportunity, I’m going to pass.”
“Are you sure
about this?” Drew asked—his voice neither pissed nor worried. If anything, he was as confused as Josh was.
Was I sure about this—any of this?
As sure as the earth was round. I had never truly felt committed to the interview—and now I understood why.
“One hundred and fifty percent sure,” I said and ended the call. Then to Josh I said, my gaze never leaving his for a second, “Yes, Joshua Hoffer, I would love to marry you and grow old together.”
“And maybe at some point, we can give Lily a brother or sister?”
The smile on my face was so big, my cheeks ached. “I think that can be arranged.”
Still kneeling, Josh opened the box, removed the platinum ring, then slipped it onto my finger.
“Oh God. It’s beautiful.” On the part where the diamonds sat, the metal was loosely twisted. A large square diamond sat in the center, with three small diamonds on either side. It was the most gorgeous ring I’d ever seen.
Josh stood up, then his mouth was on mine. My arms went around his neck, and I returned his kiss. Our tongues glided together in a slow, sweet dance.
Admit it—that was the best proposal ever asked. And I wasn’t saying that because I was biased.
All right, ten percent was due to me being biased.
Twenty percent, tops.
We continued kissing for one more slow song before the music abruptly stopped.
“I guess that’s our cue that public skating is starting soon,” Josh said. “But first, you want to explain that call?” He pointed at the pocket with my phone in it.
“That was me being spontaneous—for you and only you.”
There was still the issue of what I would do if he was offered a contract with another team. It was like that game where you were given a scenario and you had to say what you would do if it happened to you.
But in real life, it was impossible to predict that until it actually happened. So until we knew what team he was offered a contract with, I refused to speculate.
All I knew was whatever choice I made, it would be the right one for Lily and Josh and me.
As we skated back to our stuff, I asked, “How did you arrange all of this?” I gestured to the rink.
Decidedly With Baby Page 23
