by Amber Jaye
My heartbeat and breathing are returning to normal as they get the message that I’ve decided not to follow through. I could have lost myself for hours with that scenario, taking myself to the brink and then bringing myself down as the tensions inside me build and the bath water cools. I have to get myself ready if I'm going to make my bath time fantasy a reality.
6
But I don't get the chance to make that fantasy come true.
For a start, when the car turns up there's no Eddie and even if there had been, Bobbie's the driver. I can't imagine Bobbie putting up with that kind of carry on going on. Bobbie doesn't speak other than to tell me “He said he'd meet you there, love.” as I get in.
Bobbie is a man of few words it would seem and I start to wonder what he must think of me. He probably knows something of the deal I made with Tony and there's very little to be impressed with, with that knowledge. At the very least I'm someone who can't control their finances. And I'm hardly in control of anything else. I'm not even sure if what I'm doing is legal. I'm sure it is, but morally? Well, let me put it like this, you'd hardly write a book about it – not one you could put your name to at any rate.
I seem to be very good at forgetting about the deal, and having Bobbie pick me up has certainly been a reminder of what I'm up to. The thing is each time I remember the deal, I don't feel the shame that I feel I ought to. All I feel is very, very horny. It's as if I've discovered a new kind of me.
I'm not saying I've never been bad, I've certainly had my moments – me and Gemma can club it with the best (and the worst) in this town. And we get our pick of the men, but for me, it's never been more than a snog and a light fumble.
At heart, me and Gemma are both serial monogamists. The difference between us is, that Gemma tires of hers in a matter of weeks whereas I'm always in it for the long haul.
That's how I wasted so many years on my ex. I can make excuses about him leading me on but part of me worries that I can't give up on someone once I've committed to them. No matter how shit his excuses became (he once tried to convince me that a ghost had stolen our holiday money and I almost got a priest in!) or how much trouble he brought to my door, I was always willing to take his side.
I think that's why I've always gone for bad boys, not because they're bad, but because they know what they want. And I like the passion, the arguments and the making up. The trouble is knowing if they really mean what they say they want. I think I found it convenient not to think about myself.
That's why it ended. There was no big argument, I suddenly realised that while we both knew what he wanted, neither of us could have told you what I wanted. And I thought for the first time, what did I want? And my first thought from asking myself that was that I didn't want him.
I switched off Jeremy Kyle, got up and started packing.
Since then, I've wanted very little from men. I've made do with the occasional snog when Gemma's been searching for a new beau. I'm still attracted to the same kind of men – those that know what they want and aren't afraid to go for it, but now they find out what I want. Which as I've said up until now has been just a quick tonsil tickle.
Gemma says that's because I'm not over my ex, but I know I am. I was over him the minute I started packing. What I'm not over are the two years I wasted on that relationship. If I'd spent the time on my hairdressing that I'd spent on him, I'd have my own salon by now. Maybe.
I think that's why I'm so attracted to Eddie. I don't think he knows what he wants any more than I do, but we want each other. And because Eddie's a good guy – I'm getting to be the bad one. And I've never been so turned on. So, yeah, maybe I wouldn't put my name to it, but I don't think what I'm doing can be that wrong because it feels so right.
At least that was the way I justify it to myself in the silence of Bobbie's limo.
7
Now that I’m outside of ‘SPAG’S’ my butterflies are battering my insides and I’m really not so sure. I check out my outfit in the reflection of the window. I wouldn’t normally wear this combination. I’m a traditionalist – either tits out or legs, not both. But this evening, I’m wearing my black silk hot pants, stockings and those new ankle boots that caused all this trouble.
And upstairs, I’ve got on my most lethal top. It’s tight, loose and supported in all the right places. Once I’m sitting opposite Eddie, I defy him to maintain eye contact.
I enter the restaurant chest first and come to a halt, in my most provocative pose. I casually scan the room and – the bugger isn’t here. No ones here, the place seems closed. I can feel my face reddening as it looks as if I’ve been stood up.
Suddenly, a middle-aged woman bursts in from the kitchen.
“Mademoiselle! It’s so good to see you.” She eyes me up and down and nods approvingly. “Yes, you look fabulous, like an English princess!”
I’m not sure how to take this remark. The only English princesses I can think of who dress like this are not the kind of princesses I’d want to be compared with. I thank her with my most neutral smile and she directs towards a booth at the back of the room.
“Mister Eddie apologises for being late, but he will be here very, very soon.” Her voice is a mix of Geordie and Italian and I realise I know her from when I was apprenticing at Moz’s Hair & Sun, down at the precinct. I remember doing her tints. Name of Rosa, good tipper if I remember rightly. She gestures for me to take the booth seat and as I do she whisks herself away.
I sit in a huff and I take out my phone to text him. Tony’s sent me another threatening picture.
A pile of shoes with a petrol can next to them.
He’s beginning to get right on my tits, now. I’m starting to wonder if the two of them are in this together and that this is some elaborate joke at my expense. Perhaps this is how Tony gets his revenge on bad debtors, he uses his brother to humiliate them on a bad date. I feel a right lemon.
I’ve been sat at a table more suited for a party of six and it’s practically hidden from the rest of the dining area, all I can see is the end of the bar in front of me. Eddie quite clearly didn’t want to be seen with me, if he had ever planned on turning up.
I get out my phone and type ‘get stuffed’ into a text when I hear an embarrassed cough.
I look up and there’s Eddie standing in front of me, dressed from head to foot in leather. He’s holding a crash helmet and has the cheekiest grin on his face.
“Is that text for me?” he asks, and I’ve already forgiven him.
I guess there’s something about a man in leather that softens me up. It’s so tight on him; he has to be naked underneath. None of this approval is showing on my face though. All I’m giving him is a dismissive look.
“Nice to see you dressed up for our date.” I say tartly.
He looks down at himself and laughs as if he’s just noticed what he’s wearing.
“Yeah, sorry about this – I’d have been even later if I’d gone back to change. Let me sit down and plead my case with you.”
I give him a look like he’s wasting his time, as he pulls his chair out.
“I didn’t have you down as the kinky type, is that your gimp suit?” I ask. His grin gets wider.
“Oh I’m incredibly kinky, all us art types are.”
“Oh really,” I reply, and I can’t stop myself from smiling back at him.
“Look, Mickey, I’m really sorry about not being there to pick you up, but I was let down by my model.”
“Your model? (Who’s this bloody model?).
“Yeah, Harry turned up pissed and I had to send him home. I couldn’t have him posing in that state, he could have done himself a mischief. Poor old Harold.”
“Sorry, who’s Harold?”
“He’s my model, my life model. I run a single mum’s life drawing class on a Monday night. It’s been very popular, we’ve quite a waiting list for new members. Anyway, Harry’s a bit new to it and he had a bit too much dutch courage beforehand, so there was nothing I could do but send him h
ome.”
“But if you had to cancel the class, how does that make you late?” I retort in my best not bothered but I’ve caught you out voice.
“I didn’t cancel it, it’s far too important to my women for that. I had planned to set up and then once they’d all got started I was going to leave Sandra in charge, go home, get dolled up and come straight round and pick you up. But because of Harry, I had to step in.
“Step in?” I ask, (while I’m thinking “who’s this Sandra?”)
“Yeah, I had to fill in for Harry.”
“What, you modelled for them?”
“Yeah.”
“Naked?”
“That’s the way it’s done.”
I picture a hoard of pervy women all drooling over his naked body all in the name of art. And I feel a throbbing begin inside my knickers.
“And of course I had to spend longer with them at the end, as they all wanted their work critiqued.”
“What you stood there naked, discussing their pictures of you with them?”
“Well, no I had my robe back on by then.... they’d all been far too complimentary to have produced anything of note...”
I bet they bloody were.
“...except for Sandra of course.”
I don’t rise to the bait.
“So you see, there was no time to do anything other than get my leathers on and head straight here.”
I can feel the top of my thighs getting damp as I take in how matter of fact he is being about parading himself in front of his harem for the last hour or so. I picture myself modeling for a group of young artists and then the two of us pulling erotic poses together. I’ve met my partner in crime.
I can tell he’s reading my dirty thoughts so I say
“I guess that’s not really that kinky then.”
“Is it not?”
“No, quite vanilla in my opinion.”
“Is that right? What’s more your flavour then?”
I hear in his voice that he’s as hard as I’m wet.
“I tell you this,” I say as I pick up a bread stick “I’m up for anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.” And I snap the bread stick and pop the smaller part into my mouth and crunch on it. He finally breaks eye contact and stares down at my breasts.
“Well, that could be a very long list.”
“I would hope so.” I reply and crunch on “anyway, before any of that, I’ve not forgiven you for missing my entrance. A girl likes a little appreciation when she’s made the effort. It’s all very well you strutting in here in your leather gear, but maybe you’re not the only exhibitionist at this table.”
“What are you naked from the waist down?” He asks.
“No, not yet – but I did want you to see my boots.”
“Well let’s change both of those things,” he says and dives under his end of the table. What did he mean both? I try looking under my end but the tablecloth is too long.
Then I feel his hand on my calf and he pulls my foot to his face and I feel him kiss the toe of my boot. He kisses my other boot, I let out a giggle and then I look up and bloody Rosa’s back with the wine.
“Oh hi,” I say.
“Where’s Mister Eddie?” she asks.
“He’s had to slip out for a moment.”
I feel Eddie’s fingers stroking the back of my knees sending shocks up my thighs. My leg jerks but I keep still above the table and I crunch a little more bread stick.
“Very well.” says Rosa and she shows me the label on the bottle.
Eddie is pulling my knees apart and he runs his thumbs along the seams of my stockings. I offer him no resistance as I’m staring at the label and trying to keep my composure. Eddie’s thumb finds my naked flesh as he slips up the leg of my hot pants and he rubs my wetness around.
I nod my approval to Rosa and she begins twisting the corkscrew into the bottle as Eddie makes it to my knickers. His head is wedged between my knees and I squeeze on his ears to give him a little slowdown message. Rosa’s having trouble with the cork and I don’t want this going too far while she’s still here.
Eddie doesn’t get the message though and he yanks my hot pants down. I grab another bread stick and I keep my bum firmly on my seat and my knickers in place. I put my hand under the table and I grab one of his hands and squeeze as another signal.
Rosa turns her back to get some extra traction on the cork. I fish under the table and try and get hold of Eddie but he finds that spot on the back of my knee and the shocks are so strong I kick the underside of the table. Rosa pops the cork at the same time and Eddie is rubbing his face in the crotch of my knickers.
I wrap my legs around the back of his head and lock his face in place and Rosa passes me a glass to taste. I take the faintest sip and nod approvingly, and Eddie’s fingers hook into the sides of my g-string. I’m perspiring and I’m sure Rosa can see it on my upper lip but she fills my glass and leaves.
She disappears and shifting my arse forward I grab the back of his head to steady him into the right position.
He rips my knickers and removes them with his teeth. I thrust at him as his tongue thrusts into me. He purrs deep inside me and I shudder at the vibrations as I begin to pulsate. I’m digging my nails into the tablecloth and I keep my eyes on the bar in case anyone comes into view.
Eddie’s tongue flicks in and out of me and my floodgates are beginning to give. He’s hitting all the right places. I take my hand away from his head and loosen my grip on his ears to give him space to work. He doesn’t need any more direction from me.
I can’t keep my breathing to a normal rhythm and I let out a murmur. I’m not always vocal but if I start it can get very loud very quickly. I need to bring things to an end and I tap Eddie’s shoulder three times as a ‘time out’, but as I do, he finds the spot deep in me. I’m hurled to the top of a roller coaster that’s about to take the plunge with no way back.
I grab a napkin and bite into it as Eddie finally gets the message and pulls out and I totter at the edge fighting the urge to explode. I close my eyes and very slowly the feelings ebb away and I step back from the brink.
I open my eyes and wipe my brow with the napkin. Eddie is sitting back in his seat pouring himself a glass from the bottle. He looks completely innocent as if I might have just hallucinated the whole thing, but then he picks up his own napkin and wipes his mouth and gives me that wicked grin of his.
I smile back, but then I’m shocked to see over his shoulder that Rosa is behind the bar polishing glasses. She’s looking in my general direction but not making eye contact. Did she see us? She must have been there when I had my eyes closed. She had to have seen me at the point of climax and Eddie coming back out from under the table. Oh God, what have I done? She could lose her license from this kind of carry on. She still hasn’t looked me in the eye. Perhaps she’s called the police. Suddenly, I have a very urgent need to use the toilet.
“You alright Mickey?”
“Yeah, I just need to freshen up. Which way is the ladies?”
He points off to the right and I pull up my hot pants and scoop up my knickers into my handbag. I make my way over and I half expect Rosa to rugby tackle me and make some sort of citizen’s arrest. Never have I done the walk of shame so early in a date. Thankfully, I make it through to the sanctuary behind the bathroom door.
8
I throw my knickers in the bin and chuck some paper towels in on top of them. I plonk down on the porcelain, pull out my phone and I start to pee. I need to speak to Gemma.
“Hi hon, have you done the deed?”
“No, I haven't. It's all gone wrong.”
“How's that then? Are you having a wee?”
“Yes – this is an emergency.”
“It must be, for you to ring on the lav. What's the matter?”
“Eddie just went down on me under the table in the restaurant.”
“Oh, poor you. How's that an emergency?”
�
��The waitress saw us and I think she might have rung the police.”
“Oh God! You'll end up on the list.”
“What list?”
“The police list of all the perverts.”
“Oh my God! Are you serious?”
“No, of course, I'm not. You know how paranoid you get. I'm just winding you up. Just get Eddie to pay the bill and get out of there if you think you were seen...”
“But we haven't eaten yet.”
“Well, Eddie has, hasn't he?”
“Gemma, don't be so vulgar.”
“I'm not the one peeing on the phone about to be arrested for being a sex maniac.”
You're not helping me.”
“Calm down. Look it's her word against yours – just deny everything.”
“Thanks, Gemma.”
“No problem, girl.”
I check my make up in the mirror adjust my cleavage and having regained my composure I make my way back to the booth.
9
I sit down and Eddies sees that I'm flustered.
“What's eating you?” he smirks – but I'm too nervous to play along. I scan the horizon for a sign of Rosa and whisper
“I think she saw us.”
“Who, Rosa?”
“Yes, she was behind the bar when you were under here. She must have seen my...my face...”
“The dirty cow.” he laughs.
“It's not funny. She hasn't asked us to leave, has she?”
“Er, no.”
“So she's probably rung the police.”
Eddie slaps his hands together and laughs hard.
“Eddie, I don't think this is funny.”
“I'm sorry, but you really have nothing to worry about. The last thing Rosa would do is ring the old bill. For a start, there's her kinky boudoir upstairs.”
“Kinky boudoir?”
“Yes, very kinky so I hear. But, besides that, she's hardly going to ring the police on her boss, is she?”
“What you're the boss? You own this place?”
