by Izzy Shows
I wanted the physical pain, if it would take away the knife that was slicing through my mind.
That’s what mortals do. You die.
Another punch to the bag, but it wouldn’t chase his words from my mind. Nothing would. I wasn’t going to be able to forget that, as long as I lived. It was going to haunt me forever. I was certain of that.
“Miss Blair!”
Fred’s hoarse voice cut into my consciousness. He had probably been shouting for me for quite some time now, but it was only now that I was able to hear him.
I slammed my fist into the bag again, but it was a mediocre hit this time. I turned to face him, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“What is wrong, Miss Blair?” He was tugging at one of his ears, dancing from one foot to the other.
“It’s stupid,” I said, swiping at my cheeks to clear the tears. I think I only succeeded in smearing blood across my cheeks.
“You cans be telling me,” he said.
“It’s just—Mal knows how to get rid of the mark, Fred. He’s known this whole time, and he didn’t tell any of us. He just left me like this. Tainted.”
Fred’s eyes widened with horror. “He has knowns this whole time?”
“Yeah. And he doesn’t care about me now. He made that very clear. He’s not going to help me, and the Order is going to read my aura, and then they’re going to kill me. I passed the hearing, but that was only a stay of execution. I’m still going to die.”
“Maybes you cans get through to him,” he said, but he didn’t sound very sure of it.
“No, there’s no hope, Fred,” I said. And then I began to laugh, sounding hysterical even to my own ears. “I’m going to die, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it! Oh, Gods.” I sat down hard on the floor, but I didn’t care if I bruised my tailbone.
I didn’t care about any of the hurt I could do to myself now. None of it mattered.
I was going to die.
“Miss Blair, you is always sayings you will get through the things. How is you not thinkings this now?” Fred sounded well and truly distressed, and I hated myself for making him feel that way. For being so cavalier with his emotions.
“I say that because I think it’s true. I don’t think it right now. I just—I can’t promise.”
He threw his arms around me, his little body shaking. “You is havings to make it through this, Miss Blair. I needs you.”
“I’ll try,” I said, my voice rough with emotion. “I promise I’ll try.”
I meant it. That was all I could do—try to hope that I would be able to get Mal to see reason. As of right that second, though, I had no plan at all. I disentangled myself from Fred and stood up slowly, then made my way back to the work bench, where I unwound the tape from my hands. My knuckles were raw, blood seeping out of them. I had done a number on myself this time.
Should have known better. What good does hurting yourself do when no one cares what happens to you?
Good point. I had to take care of myself, if only because there was no one to do it for me. I had to take care of Fred too. He might be all-powerful, but he didn’t know a thing about the modern world we lived in, and I couldn’t leave him on his own.
I picked up a towel and carefully wiped the blood, sweat, and tears off my face before I began cleaning my hands.
“There’s something else,” I said. “Something rather disturbing that we should talk about.”
“Yes, Miss Blair?” Fred sounded almost relieved—if I was working on things, that meant there was hope. I wouldn’t throw myself into a case if I didn’t think I could handle it.
“Something actually tainted Lilith. It wasn’t a natural addiction. She said she felt a presence in the night just before the hunger claimed her. We need to figure out what that was and how to stop it from turning others, because if it gets its claws into enough people, I don’t know how well we’ll be able to do damage control.”
Fred was silent for a while. I knew by now to wait until he decided to speak up. He was thinking carefully about what he was going to say to me, which meant it was likely something altogether displeasing.
Just as I was growing impatient, he lifted his gaze to mine.
“I is thinkings I knows what tainted her, Miss Blair. ’Twas the Others.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You mean, like the Utakar?”
“Nay, Miss Blair. The Utakar is a creature forgot by humanity, but it was always a part of this world. The Others are from the Outside. Of the universe.”
It was like a fist had slammed into my gut. The Utakar had been bad enough. I didn’t think I could take more of them, but this concept of Others? How was I supposed to deal with something from outside the universe?
“How did it get in, if it was Outside?”
“Is not so difficult to sneak one or two spies into the world. They is waging war, tryings to get in with a whole army. They is wanting to destroy this world, for no reason other than that they is enjoyings the pain. But they is havings to make it through Winter first, and I is thinkings, they came for the Winter Lady. She is havings disappeared, gone from time and space. If they is able to get rids of the monarchy, then Winter is fallings into chaos, and Summer will fall soon after. They wills take one kingdom at a time until there is no defence left for Earth.”
“They’ll take Tír na nÓg?” I was aghast. “How could they do that?”
“If they has taken the Winter Lady, then they cans take the Queen, and then the Crone. Winter cannot survive without her monarchy, and dissent is already spreadings without the Lady.”
I groaned, rubbing the palm of my hand against my forehead. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this information?”
“Alls that you cans do right now is get through the trials. Once you is a Wizard, you can learns more, grow more, and maybes you will be standings a chance.”
He sounded sad, not so hopeful, and I understood why. How was I supposed to stand a chance against the Others when someone as powerful as the Winter Lady hadn’t?
My head was suddenly pounding, likely from the dehydration caused by my workout, but it wouldn’t leave me alone. Wouldn’t abate for even a minute.
“I think I need to lie down.”
And then I heard it. The beating on my front door, above me.
It was not knocking, not pounding, not the sound of a fist striking against wood.
Someone was breaching my home.
Twenty Nine
I raced up the stairs as the beating sound grew louder and ran for the door as soon as I reached the landing. I needed to check the wards, strengthen them, keep whatever was trying to get inside out.
My hand was a hairsbreadth from the door when it blew in on itself.
I had a half-second to turn my body and take the brunt of the attack on my back, where the tattoo would protect me. I was blown back against the couch, my cheek landing harshly against the top of it.
Thank the Gods my ribs aren’t still broken.
Hopefully, they weren’t newly broken. Overall, I felt fine save for minor bruising, but that could just be the adrenaline talking.
I pushed myself off the couch, twisting my body to wiggle to the side, out from under the door. I had to see what had caused the damage.
In the doorway stood a blackened creature of medium stature, its body twisted and gleaming with red fire in the cracks of the blackened surface. I swallowed hard. I didn’t know what this thing was, but I was pretty sure it hadn’t come for tea and a nice chat.
Glancing down at my body, I became woefully aware of my lack of wands. I was wearing the adornments on my hands—the cuff, the wind chain, the shield rings—but I was going to have to pull off my offensive magic with pure energy, the kind that burned my body on its way out and left me dizzy afterwards. I would have to fight the effects, but that didn’t matter half as much as staying alive.
No time to think, though—a fireball was coming right at me.
“Glacio!” I raised my hand in front of
me, fingers splayed, as I called on one of the rings. A shield of thick ice formed there. The fireball smacked into it an instant later, burning out when it got about two inches into the shield.
“Incendium!” I went purely on reflex—-fire was my most frequently used magic in a fight. My other hand came forward, and my fire launched out of me, burning a painful path through my gut, up to my arm, and then down into my fingers.
The monster laughed at me, a truly disturbing sound, as it absorbed the fire.
Fuck.
That was a dumb move on my part. I called a sword of ice to my hand as I raced forward. This time, I was satisfied to see the creature’s burning orbs—which might have been eyes—widen somewhat. I brought the sword down hard on its midsection, and it howled in rage.
It grabbed my shoulders, burning through my clothes and into my skin. I screamed, unable to help the sound, my arm turning numb to avoid the pain.
I all but whispered my incantation, a pitiful sound, and infused my body with ice. It burned even worse on my shoulders, too cold against something too hot, but it prevented the burn from spreading and had the nice side effect of driving the monster back.
It hadn’t set foot in my house yet, I realised dully, and there was only one explanation for that: my threshold was somehow protecting me. I hadn’t thought my threshold was particularly strong—hence all the wards on my door—but apparently, it was good enough to keep this creature out. This was news to me, since my threshold had never been tested before. So, fuck yeah!
I backed up a step, thinking it would keep me safe, but the monster’s orbs gleamed brightly as it opened its mouth and spewed fire.
I have to keep the house safe. If it burns my house down, I’m fucking toast.
I didn’t have time to laugh at my own pun. I shot ice from my fingertips in time to wrap around the monster’s fire and send it chasing up the length of it and into its mouth. It choked, falling to its knees as it clawed at its throat.
Good. Keep going.
Advancing, I kept my mind on the spell, willing the ice to maintain its form in such a hot environment as fire elemental’s body. It was a lot of work, a lot of magic, and I could feel it depleting me.
More! I thought, and I raised the ice sword again, leaping beyond the threshold into the open night air. The elemental glared up at me, clearly wishing to harm me but unable to move through the pain of the ice in its throat. I brought the sword down in a harsh arc, slicing the creature’s head from its shoulders.
Its harsh laughter echoed in the night as its body writhed. I waited a moment, then two, then three, but still it didn’t die.
What magic was this?
With my hands encased in ice, I dispelled the sword and placed my hands on the elemental’s headless form. “Glacio,” I said, a soft murmur, and poured ice forth until it encased the creature’s body.
I felt the moment it stilled, though I didn’t look at it. My eyes were focused on the creature’s head, watching it laugh maniacally until, eventually, it stopped.
Removing my hands from its body, I watched as it crumpled to the floor, then, slowly, its body began to dissipate. I was breathing hard, my head woozy, my body throbbing with the pain of all the magic I had used.
No more, I thought. I can’t handle any more.
My shoulders were burning with pain, and my knuckles were throbbing and chafing under the ice that enclosed their swollen form. I waited until the very last bits of the creature’s body had gone, and then I stumbled back into my house and slumped against the door frame.
I allowed myself a little time to collect myself, dissipating the ice from my body. Still, my shoulders raged at me. My sleeves had slumped around my wrists, no longer held up by the shirt.
By all the Gods above and below, what the hell was that?
Thirty
It felt like ages had passed before I could lift my beaten body from the door frame. At last, I managed it, and stumbled farther back into the house until my legs pressed against the coffee table.
I need…I need…my door!
I was exposed to the world now. Anything could get through. I needed to get my door up, but I had neither the strength nor the know-how to do it. I had no idea what I was doing when it came to putting doors back up, but, thank the Gods, it was at least in one piece when I glanced over my shoulder to check on it.
Suddenly, as if it had sensed that it was all right to torment me now, my back began to throb with pain. The tattoo might have kept me in one piece, but it couldn’t protect me from the pain of having a bloody door thrown against my back.
Gods, but my whole body hurt. I snatched my phone off the coffee table, staggered over to a chair, and threw myself into it, not caring that the movement caused pain to ricochet throughout my body. All I could do was deal with it.
I dialled Shawn’s number.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Oh, you know, nothing much. Something blew my door in. I need to get it back up,” I said, panting between words.
“Holy hell, are you all right?”
“As well as can be expected. Can you help me?”
“Yeah, I think I can get your door back up. Let me stop by the store and see if I can get you new hinges. Yours are probably shot.”
“Smart,” I said. “I wouldn’t have thought of that.”
“Lucky you have me.”
For now. I knew there was an expiration date here, and it was one of my own making. But there was nothing to do about it; we came from different worlds that weren’t going to mix well at the end of the day. I should have known before I got involved with him, but what could I do at this point? Nothing, really.
“Thanks, Shawn,” I said at last, not knowing what else to say. I couldn’t really break up with him over the phone.
“I’ll be over in a while.”
We hung up, and I put my phone down on the coffee table again. Silence reigned for a few minutes.
“Miss Blair?”
My eyes had closed at some point, and I didn’t know how much time had passed. My eyes flickered open, and I saw Fred standing just outside the hallway, his forehead creased with worry lines.
“Hey, Fred,” I said, my voice sounding weak to my own ears. “How’re you doing?”
“I is OK. Miss Blair, is you needings anythings?”
“I don’t suppose you know how to make a screwdriver?”
“I is not familiar with tools, no.”
Harsh laughter barked out of me. “I meant vodka and orange juice, but that’s OK.”
He perked up. “This I cans do!”
He hurried into the kitchen, and I heard glass tinkling. A moment later, he emerged with a cup in hand. He brought it to me without hesitation, and I drank greedily. Normally, I’d want a scotch, but I was in so much pain that I didn’t think I could handle burning my throat at that particular moment.
The drink went down smoothly, cooling my throat and leaving a happy, warm feeling in my gut.
“Gods, I needed that,” I said.
“I is happy to help!” He grinned at me.
“Hey, Fred, I have a question for you,” I said, frowning.
“Yes, Miss Blair?”
“How come, since you’re so powerful, you never fight?”
“Oh.” He tugged on his ears. “I is not able to do things without permissions.”
I nodded. That made sense; the only time he’d ever used his powers had been on me, and at my request. “And how come you never leave the house?”
“I is bound here,” he said, shrugging his little shoulders. “Is good, though. I is not wanting to go out in your world.”
“Yeah, sometimes I wish I couldn’t leave the house, either,” I said, snorting. It sure would be nice if I had an excuse to ignore the world for a day. Maybe two.
All I’d ever wanted was a little bit of normalcy. One minute where everything wasn’t going to hell around me.
“I’m going to take a little catnap, OK? Can you stand watch, and
if anything other than Shawn or one of my friends comes by, kill it? OK?”
He nodded, a serious look coming over his face. “I cans do that, Miss Blair.”
“Thank you.” I took another swig from the glass, finishing off the drink, and put it on the coffee table. I leaned back in the chair, my eyes drifting closed before I could think about it.
All I wanted was a little bit of sleep.
“Blair!”
I groaned. It felt like I’d only been out for a second, and I wanted to tell Fred to go away, but that hadn’t been Fred’s voice, and a hand was on my shoulder, shaking me.
“Blair, you need to wake up!”
“Ugh” was all I could say. I shrugged my shoulder to get rid of the hand and rolled my head to the side, refusing to open my eyes.
“Blair, you might have a concussion. Open your eyes so I can take a look at you.”
“Dick,” I grumbled, peeking my eyes open. Sure enough, Shawn was standing in front of me, his eyebrows drawn together. “Why would I have a concussion?”
“Because I’m assuming that door hit you, considering the condition you’re in.”
“Concussions are for the weak,” I said, forcing my lips to turn up at the corners. “I, clearly, am not weak.”
“You sound a little weak,” he said, but he sounded relieved. If I could snark, that meant I was OK.
“You sound a little weak,” I said, parroting his words back to him. “Maybe you should get yourself checked.” But the truth of the matter was that I did sound weak, even to my own ears. But using as much magic as I had would do that to anyone, especially considering the trials I had been through thus far. It had been a very trying week, and I was about done with it.
But there were more trials yet to come.
“We need to get your door up. Anyone could walk in.”
“Not with Fred standing guard,” I said, drifting my gaze to find and zero in on Fred.
He was beaming with pride, having heard what I said.
“You did good,” I said.
“Thank yous, Miss Blair,” he replied, wiggling a little bit.
