by Skyler Grant
Our hushed conversation drew White’s gaze. “I told everyone to get out.”
“We’re not with advertising. We’re in sales and I wondered if I might have a moment of your time,” Yve said.
White studied us with her cold blue gaze and stepped forward to tilt Yve’s chin up. “Pretty. He’ll enjoy you, Charming will. Don’t expect anything of it, he’ll promise you the world, but the man is a bastard.”
Right. They were ex-lovers, I remembered hearing that at the bar the night before.
“We aren’t actually here to discuss him,” Yve said.
White was bored anyways, letting her chin go and moving to grasp mine with the same sort of barely interested touch. “Nice jawline, pretty eyes.”
“I’d very much like to make love to you for days on end,” I said.
White released my chin. “Unprofessional, but flattering. I like you. What do you both want? You have sixty seconds. Speak, one of you.”
Yve gave me a warning look, but fortunately had little time to chastise me with only sixty seconds to make her point. “We want you to restore funding to R&D. Bring back the coffee machine, the burners, and give those cute little bears their beds.”
“The bears are a complete waste of resources. Do you know they’ve not made a single worthwhile discovery in the past three years? I might forgive them, if they were at least publishing, but they don’t even have a co-author credit in that time,” White said.
“Gold seems efficient,” I said. Sales is all about giving people what they want and unfortunately, I hadn’t quite figured her out yet. I knew it wasn’t me despite the grabbing at my chin earlier.
“Gold goes to the restroom entirely too much. I have graphs, if you would care to see them. Limiting her access to fluids should do much to resolve the issue,” White said.
We weren’t making any headway. Yve was starting to look as flustered as me.
Then I got it. White made something of a pass at me, yet on the other hand wasn’t interested. There was one reason for that. Making Charming jealous or scoring a few points. Was she vindictive or did she want him back? My gut said vindictive.
“I told you this was a bad idea. The boss would have hated it anyways,” I said.
White’s eyes flickered to me. Yes, that got her attention. Now if Yve would just play along.
“It would have wound up shrinking the sales staff,” Yve said, as if admitting something terrible.
“Why do a few sales lackeys wish the R&D budget restored?” White asked.
“Contracts with craftsmen. Right now a lot of our job in sales is going to these individual suppliers and getting them into cooperative agreements to use our blueprints and designs. We’re outsourcing a lot of what could be done in-house with just a bit of research. I mean, it’s great for sales, but bad for the company,” Yve said.
“And you were hoping to score a few points and make your boss look bad in the process,” White said thoughtfully.
“Sales needs new leadership—better leadership, even if it shrinks in size as a result,” Yve said.
It struck me that Yve was a damned good liar. Most salespeople are, of course. Only some manage to excel without it.
“Fine. I have a problem of my own for which I need assistance. You solve mine and I’ll take care of yours,” White said.
“Isn’t making the company more efficient your job?” Yve asked.
“We’re all businesspeople. You want something, you pay the price. I need you to take care of the Redwood Gang, a bunch of thugs that have been terrorizing our operations,” White said.
“We’re salespeople, not mercenaries for hire,” Yve said.
“So, hire some mercenaries. I don’t care how you get it done, I just want it done. Get rid of them and I’ll see glasses gets her coffee-maker back, and I’ll even dig the little bear beds out of storage,” White said.
“Fine,” Yve said, tugging at my arm.
“Don’t you want to get any more details?” I asked.
White told me, “She has rightly guessed that your minute is more than up and my willingness to further discuss matters long since exhausted. Solve my problem and I’ll solve yours.”
Yve dragged me out into the hall. The advertising staff were still lingering around looking shell-shocked—those not in tears.
“We’ll check with human resources and see what they can tell us. Based on the theme I can already guess who this Redwood Gang is headed by and they’ll hopefully have a lead,” Yve said.
“Fill me in?” I asked, as I peeked back through the doorway. White was back to having a renewed standoff with the heads of advertising.
Yve noticed my glance and scowled. “Liam, seriously. I know you get a little hot and bothered for mean and crazy, but that is more than you want to mess with. Now listen—everyone here seems to come from some fairy tale, right? The bitch is Snow White, our boss Prince Charming. I’m thinking that’s Beauty and the Beast in charge of advertising.”
The words didn’t mean a whole lot to me, but I got the feeling this was something that should be well familiar.
“Missing memory, remember?” I asked.
“I remember. Okay. Another fairy tale is Little Red Riding Hood, and there is a wolf that keeps trying to eat her. Well, actually he succeeds, but this woodcutter comes along and cuts open the wolf and frees her,” Yve said.
I didn’t know the story, but I could put words together. “Red and wood”
“Exactly. You know, you seem a little smarter with your memory wiped out,” Yve said.
“What sort of twisted backward compliment is that?”
“You normally wouldn’t have picked it up that fast. If all the fairy tale people were employed by the company at some time, she should by on file. Her grandmother as well,” Yve said.
“Let’s go track her down then. If they really did take my memories I want them back.”
Chapter 12
The forest was a frightful place, twisted trees that loomed over the path and thorned brambles that soon had me scraped and bloodied no matter how much I tried to avoid them. We’d found our lead on Red. She had left the company a few months prior after having formerly worked in the cafeteria.
Her grandmother was still employed there as a cook. We didn’t try to interrogate her for any information. However great we were at sales, getting someone to flip on their own family was likely to be more trouble than it was worth. We did get a location for Red’s cottage though. Most employees lived in the village in company-provided housing, but Red didn’t have access to it anymore. She had to be staying somewhere in the woods.
Yve had stopped by Sales and picked up some samples, and was now dressed head to toe in plate with a massive two-handed sword strapped across her back. She looked utterly ridiculous. Still, I was starting to envy her the armor, these thorns sucked.
“You should have at least grabbed a sword,” Yve said.
“I don’t even know how to use a sword. Who knows how to use a sword?” I asked. It wasn’t exactly a useful sort of skill unless one wanted to go out and hunt monsters.
“You technically have one. Intemperance. Catches fire, stolen from a timeless hero and bathed in the essence of my divine blood,” Yve said.
“You just keep getting creepier. I keep a sword around covered in your blood. You’re okay with this?” I asked.
“More forged with blood to corrupt it towards the cause of evil. It drives you to constantly give in to your worst urges and lose control. Seriously, this isn’t bringing up anything?” Yve asked.
“It is convincing me that you were truly up to some weird stuff and if you’re looking to get me back into it, I’m starting to wonder if I’m all that keen to go,” I said.
“You were happy, sort of. I know you’d rather be you again, than what you are now,” Yve said.
Conversation had to be put on hold as a crossbow bolt came out of the darkness to thud into a tree in front of us.
“So, you’re looking to recl
aim your memories?” said a woman, stepping out from the shadows. Her cloak was a deep, dark red like spilled blood.
This must be the woman we were looking for.
“Do you know anything about it?” Yve asked.
“A bit. I used to work for the corporation until a friend got me out. I still haven’t put everything back together, but I’ve started to,” Red said, and gave a sharp whistle.
From the shadows others emerged with bows leveled in our direction. There looked to be eight of them.
“We didn’t come here for a fight,” Yve said.
Really, that was exactly what we’d come for.
“Then you won’t mind putting your sword on the ground and your hands behind your back,” Red said.
“It’s not drawn and I think I’m comfortable talking to you right here,” Yve said.
“Yve. There are nine of them and two of us,” I said.
“We’ve fought worse odds,” Yve said.
Yve had gotten reckless since she got her memories back. What we needed now was a little salesmanship and not a badass fighter.
I said, “We can understand your caution, but I hope that you can understand ours as well. We’re on your home turf and the advantage is clearly yours. You have nothing to fear from us.”
Red considered it. “No restraints, but I’m not letting her loose in heavy armor and with a sword in my camp.”
I stared at Yve, who after a few seconds carefully removed the sword from her back and extended it so one of the bandits could step forward to take it.
“Keep them covered and let’s move,” Red said, and motioned for us to follow.
“So how did you get your memories back?” I asked.
“Magic. I don’t have any myself, so drinking anti-magic potions doesn’t do me any harm. I’ve been on a steady diet of them for a few months now. The enchantments are really strong, but they eventually crumble,” Red said.
“Interesting. So, her memories were still there tucked away. That is not the case with yours or I could have already restored them,” Lake’s said inside my head.
“Hello?” I thought back, seeing if she could hear me as well.
“Yes, Majesty. We can converse this way. You used to converse with your Goddess in this manner and even though she is no longer with you I can still make use of the channel, so to speak,”
“Well stop it. I don’t want anyone listening in to my head. It is creepy and it is weird.”
Lake didn’t respond. Perhaps that meant she went away. I hoped so.
“We’re both rather magical in nature these days. I don’t think that technique would work for either of us,” Yve said.
“Where do you get anti-magic potions from?” I asked.
“Yellow potion number three. They’re company-made, if you can believe it. Adventurers get them in the potion packs and then never use them. You can buy them for a copper piece on the market and I’ve enough tucked away to last me months,” Red said.
“Why would adventurers buy packs full of potions they don’t need?” I asked.
“Have you seen the price of individual potions? It’s cheaper to get the pack. It’s all a racket of course, just another way that DLC feeds off the innocent,” Red said.
Our journey along a winding trail brought us into a small clearing. No fires burned, many tents were set up. The camp looked hastily assembled and as if it could be torn down just as quickly.
“They must really hate you, the corporation,” Yve said.
A massive figure stepped out of the woods. A double-headed axe was slung over one shoulder and he peered at us in turn.
“They friends or enemies?” asked Woodcutter.
“Haven’t figured that out yet. They claim to be looking for a way to get his memory back,” Red said.
“Then I’d start with asking her how she claims she got hers back, if they know so much about it,” Woodcutter said.
“How about it, sugar? Sounds like you’ve got a story of your own to share,” Red said.
“I don’t actually know,” Yve said.
I realized that she probably didn’t. We hadn’t really talked about what had happened or what I’d found inside her mindscape. I didn’t think that the same thing would work on me, but I hadn’t attempted it. I tried to focus and will—whatever—my strange gift inward. I felt an odd sort of pushback, the internal sense that something was trying to happen, but failing to do so.
“It won’t work. I already tried it. Your mind games ability is all about forging a connection with others and using that to construct a framework of what is within their mind. You can’t share that same connection internally,” Lake said.
“Why not? Isn’t this me and that me two completely different people?”
“You don’t know me well enough to know how thoroughly I want to explore the metaphysical implications of that statement with you. Despite that desire your power doesn’t work that way.”
Well, that was that. Lake wasn’t getting any more useful.
“You don’t just throw off orientation. Red?” asked Woodcutter.
“Agreed, we need to kill them,” Red said.
“Wait! Seriously, we’re good people. Great people. We’re very pretty and charming, and just the kind of friends that are useful to have inside the corporation,” I said.
“Well, at least you didn’t offer to sleep with her,” Yve said.
Why would I do that? That would be a horrible negotiating tactic. I mean, Red was kind of pretty and I did appreciate a certain degree of bloodthirstiness, but not when it was directed at me. That would be crazy.
“You’re saying that like I’ve done it before,” I said.
“All the time. Have I told you about Maria yet? Completely covered in spiders, don’t know what you were thinking,” Yve said.
“I would not sleep with a woman covered in spiders. You’re making that up.”
“Why would I lie? What kind of deranged mind would invent something like that?” Yve asked.
“Maybe they really are trying to get his memories back,” said Woodcutter.
“In which case, they’re just really sick. I vote we kill them anyways,” Red said.
“I’m good with that.” Woodcutter unlimbered his axe.
I tried to think of something else clever to say, but then Red whistled and suddenly I was staggering back with several arrows sprouting from my shoulder.
I knew this was all a terrible idea.
Chapter 13
When you get perforated with arrows you kind of expect death to be instant and horrific. It is just the way these things usually go. Instead, I seemed to be alive. Writhing on the ground in incredible pain, with the dirt beneath me quickly turning to mud from my blood, but surprisingly alive and coherent.
Firewall
Yve gestured and fire exploded from the earth between me and Woodcutter.
“You can’t use fire in a forest! You’ll burn the whole place down,” I said. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but that was just reckless.
An archer stepped over me and leaned in to stab a dagger at my throat. I think he thought to finish me off. I caught his arm and pushed it to the side with all the force I could muster. To my surprise I heard the bone snap as the man collapsed screaming.
I pulled the arrows out of me, the pain making me dizzy, but as soon as they were gone the wounds began to close themselves. Right. I was strong and healed incredibly fast, this was good. I still kind of wished I’d put on some armor of my own when were in Sales.
Smite
The bandit whose arm I had broken burst into flames. It didn’t make the screams go away, if anything it only intensified them as the air filled with the scent of burning meat. It was terrible.
Everything around me was horrifying. Blood and screams and fire. Yve seemed born to it. That girl, who just yesterday was a new hire in sales and last night was pleasant company in bed, was killing as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Hoodwinked
Red for a moment seemed to be two places at once, at once firing a crossbow with cool aplomb and also materializing behind Yve to drive a rapier through the knee joint of her armor, dropping her.
Woodcutter
Then Woodcutter was there with that fearsome axe of his raining blows down upon Yve’s form. It would have chopped someone not in heavy armor to pieces. Even with the armor Yve likely wasn’t doing well.
I charged towards him and butted his chest with my head. It was jarring for me, but it must have been worse for him as I heard a rib break. Up close the axe wasn’t as useful, but a downward swipe did catch my thigh and dug a deep gouge.
Stabby: Explodey
Choppy
Melty
Clubby
Burny
Freezy
The words blinked through the air almost faster than I could follow them as the battle was joined by the seven most savage killing machines I’d ever seen. They were dwarves, heavily armed and scarred.
I saw one bandit chopped repeatedly in the legs by a dwarf whirling a pair of axes, before being caught in the stomach with an upward blow from another. It sent the bandit soaring several feet onto a grenade just thrown by a third dwarf. It exploded seconds later sending bandit chunks flying through the air.
Judging from the pair of daggers at his waist it must have been Stabby who helped me to my feet, “Reinforcements have arrived, lad. You’ll be all right. Leave this to the professionals.”
Better Red than Dead
Red did some acrobatic midair flips, raining bolts from a rapid-fire crossbow down upon all assembled. I took two and several of the dwarfs did as well.
Fireball: Burn Baby Burn
A fireball from Yve and a stream of fire from one of the dwarves caught Red at the same time and she went down in a tumble of burning limbs.
Stabby winced. “White wanted her alive.”
“I’ve got a heal,” Yve said, moving in.
“Back her up, Clubby,” Stabby said.
Lay on Hands: Knockout Blow
