by Skyler Grant
“Want me to get all metaphysical and depressing, then let me give you all the real reasons you can’t go home again. You mortal sorts try all the time to reach places that only exist in your pasts,” Gina said.
I got that. I didn’t know where home was these days, but at least I had the good sense to know it wasn’t back in Piper’s Mill. That was where this journey got started, not where it ended.
“So they wander in and they get their minds scrubbed?” I asked.
“What? No, they just pop in here and then get sent off to the introductory village to figure out how to hold a sword and kill a rat,” Gina said, kicking her legs out in front of her.
“Just the employees then, that get their minds wiped?” Yve said.
“Do they particularly want to be adventurers?” I asked.
“Do you particularly want to be a King of an ambitious little world hungering to be more? You don’t always get to pick your role, sometimes your role chooses you,” Gina said.
Gina was full of little pieces of wisdom today.
“I kind of like being King,” I said.
“Good for you. Accept your terrible fate with a grin,” Gina said. That wasn’t quite what I meant.
“So, about shutting this place down,” I said.
“I like it. Good fishing,” said the Fisherman.
“There’s only one fish and you don’t seem to be catching him,” I said.
“It’s for the best,” Yve said.
I needed to read more fairy tales.
“We’re negotiating,” Gina said.
“You should really let me do that,” Yve said.
Gina told her, “I’ve seen you negotiate, lady. You’re really bad at it.”
Yve shot her a glare. “Do you suppose Djinni are flammable?”
“Do you really want to piss me off in a place where people being transformed into animals is perfectly ordinary?” Gina said.
“Please don’t,” I said.
The Fisherman was silent as he simply continued to bob his line contentedly.
“Okay. So, I assume your endgame is murdering Veros and taking the company over,” Gina said.
“We hadn’t really thought things through much past the murdering,” I said.
“I’m forever astounded by your poor planning. They’ll give you a temporary shutdown, but they have some demands,” Gina said.
“More fish?” I asked.
“Don’t be snarky, it’s unattractive. When you take over the old man gets a nicer stool, something with some padding, and the fountain gets some rocks. Nice ones, you know those smooth and shiny sorts,” Gina said.
“The incredibly powerful wishing flounder wants rocks and a better stool? Can’t he just conjure all that into being?” I asked.
“Hey, if we could have everything we wanted when we wanted it, I wouldn’t be bothering flirting with you. We need to have wishes and the Fisherman is smart enough not to make any for himself,” Gina said.
“That way lay palaces,” said the Fisherman.
I liked palaces.
“Fine. A stool and some nice rocks, if you turn off the spigot of newcomers for awhile,” I said.
The lights over the elevators flickered for a moment and died out.
“Done. This place is pretty boring compared to what you normally wish for,” Gina said.
“You just say that because we usually just summon you for disasters,” I said.
“And reality hurtling towards a cataclysmic end doesn’t count? You haven’t asked me about that. I’ve been working out and getting ready,” Gina said.
“Is there anything you could actually do about it?”
“You know me. I can do a lot. Most of it will just make things worse in the end, but I’ll try to work around that,” Gina said.
“That seems to be a theme. Making things worse,” I said.
Gina gave me a wry smile. “Yeah, I know. You’re surrounded by those with the same problem. Curse of the bad guy. Just ask Yve, or me. Still, what are you going to do, nothing?”
No, I’d done nothing a lot in my life. I was done with doing nothing.
“I think you know me better than that.”
Gina pressed another kiss to my lips. “Yeah, I do. That’s why I know you’ll give me a call again before it’s all said and done. It’s going to be terrible. I can’t wait. Take care, handsome. Later, losers.”
A puff of turquoise smoke and she was gone.
Yve told me, “You really should have Ashley throw that lamp away. Take it from me as a woman who was pretty sure she was going to be the death of you, trust me, that is another.”
The floor rumbled and every elevator surrounding the room dinged.
“That isn’t us,” burbled the Flounder.
“Then what is it?” I asked.
There was no answer. He and the Fisherman had vanished.
Chapter 22
The elevator doors opened and out of each stepped figures wearing body armor and armed with a variety of weapons. We were surrounded in an instant.
A stern-faced woman frowned and regarded us all.
“Not the criminals that we were looking for, but you’ll do for a start. You are wanted on multiple counts of unauthorized network access, multiplanar travel, and conspiracy against the peoples of Earth,” said the woman.
“Earth?” I asked.
“Careful, she is more than she appears,” Yve said, studying her.
“Do you have anything a bit less enigmatic to say?” I asked.
“She’s got a version of Tilmor lodged in her skull,” Yve said.
“How can you even tell? You’re meat just like the rest of us now.”
“You always recognize family,” Yve said.
“I am Andrea Galor. I do represent the Guardian Timor, and I am here to bring the rogue Guardian Veros to justice,” Andrea said.
“So basically, instead of being a regular human, she is loaded up with nanites giving her superhuman everything,” I said.
“Pretty much. We never got to play with yours when I nanite-infected you, but you’d have had fun,” Yve said.
“What about the rest of them?” I asked.
“Human. Advanced polymer battle armor and cutting-edge weaponry. Mostly dangerous in large numbers,” Yve said.
“Which they have,” Walt said.
“We came prepared to take on someone much greater than you. Do you think we aren’t ready for any threat you might represent?” Andrea asked.
I didn’t think she realized just how big the threats she faced were.
I did some quick math trying to count heads. Roughly twenty-five elevators per wall. That meant one hundred total enemies. While it was tempting to think that we were so badass that would be easy to deal with, in the past anytime we’d tangled with Earth and picked a fight, we got more than expected. Earth had managed to capture several children of the Silver City after all, and that wasn’t easy.
“The fish really could have stuck around to help,” I said.
“You could always try calling Gina again, if you’re that worried,” Yve said.
Perhaps she was still watching, but it was way too easy to deal with problems by using a wish. That was why they were tempting, even though things tended not to work out.
“Mela,” I said. That was a compromise of sorts. Mela could help against the technology and wasn’t risky in quite the same way.
Mela appeared with a grinding of gears.
“Again?” Mela asked.
Andrea narrowed her eyes at the appearance of the Goddess.
“Nanite-infused super soldiers,” I said.
“I liked the bears in power armor more,” Mela said.
There was a sound of an electrical spark and the sharp scent of something burning. Mela flickered for a moment and vanished.
“That was different,” I said.
“We came prepared for her interference. We came prepared for yours in the same way, since you are known to be an agent of Veros,�
�� Andrea said.
I was? Oh, right… the other me, the one I’d split from. I’d met him briefly in a warehouse and then Ashley killed him.
“That wasn’t actually me. We have the same goal here, we both want to take out Veros,” I said.
“We aren’t here to talk. Take them alive,” Andrea said.
Yve screamed and collapsed to the floor. I didn’t even see where anything had touched her, but she seemed to be out of the fight before she’d gotten a single blow in.
That just left me and Walt.
Rifles were raised and flickers of blue light cascaded against us. I felt a little dizzy, but not out of it. Walt too seemed unfazed.
“Unexpected,” Andrea said.
“Mela says to give her a few minutes. They pulled off something quite unexpected. She’s incredibly angry,” Walt said.
“You folks are in for a really bad day,” I said.
“You first,” Andrea said, as she charged me. The nanites really were pretty badass—her punch sent me tumbling across the floor and into a tangle of her men on the other side.
I took the opportunity to bash the skulls of two against the floor. Ninety-eight to go. Cartridges in the weapons were being changed out. I guess the order to take us alive was no longer in effect and they were switching to real bullets.
I set into those around me with Intemperance, the flaming sword hardly slowed by their armor and the blade cut deep into flesh.
Bullets pounded against my back and although they didn’t pierce my armor they seemed to somehow exert a field that pulled me towards the ground and I felt my limbs growing weak.
They really had come with some tricks.
Death Hand
Walt delivered a punch that sent Andrea soaring across the room to crash upon the floor, a massive hole torn in her chest. With his fist fully charged there was a good chance of an instant kill, but she was still moving with the wound already starting to knit itself back together.
The room was suddenly filled with the sound of buzzsaws, sharp and grating as a jagged hole was ripped in reality above the fountain. Out of it swarmed mechanical horrors.
Tiny clockwork people wielding knives, insects with drills, miniature mechanical hummingbirds with hidden pockets of acid. A disturbing look into Mela’s head as her creations poured forth.
They ignored me and Walt, but with a terrible fury set upon the soldiers from Earth. With such a mechanical army the soldiers could have been taken out quickly, but machines seemed to be taking their time, drawing things out as screams and whimpers began to echo around the room.
Mela stepped through the tear in reality, her clothes almost in ribbons and her divine flesh showing a few bruises.
“That was very rude of them,” Mela said.
Despite myself I took a moment to admire her form. But even I found it hard to be turned on with the nonstop horrors surrounding us.
“Thank you,” I said.
A massive clockwork scorpion moved towards the hole in reality, Andrea impaled upon its stinger. It passed through.
“All good. I’m taking the loot,” Mela said.
“People really aren’t loot you know,” I said.
“All the better, if we’re not after the same kind of drops,” Mela said.
It had a sort of twisted logic.
“So what did they do to you?” I asked.
“I’m still connected to the systems of Earth. You could call it a tether between here and there. They yanked it and pulled me elsewhere. Field of energy-neutralizing mechanics and a few hungry dragons,” Mela said.
“You seem to have survived it okay.”
“You’d know better than most, Liam. I do still have my flesh and blood. A trap for a machine won’t hold me,” Mela said.
“Do you have to torture them quite so horribly?”
“I hold grudges, Liam. Be glad I’m not dragging Yve off to join them. Leave me with the meat and be grateful I still answer when you call,” Mela said.
I looked to Walt, who shrugged. Right. Well, we were planning on killing them anyways. I picked Yve up and threw her over a shoulder and made for the elevator. We’d get her conscious and then move on to our next target.
Sales. I really hoped Charming was in the office today.
Chapter 23
In the elevator Yve came to, groaning and sitting up. Yve’s eyes played around the elevator walls as I assisted her in getting to her feet.
“I hope you killed them all,” Yve said.
“Called Mela and she unleashed an army of torture bots that are still at work,” I said.
Yve looked troubled at that, but then she’d been on the receiving end of Mela’s ire before.
“Guess that will work. I don’t suppose you ever found out how Andrea planned to take on Veros?” Yve asked.
“Wouldn’t you know better than we would? What did they hit you with?” I asked.
“Data sent through a flashing light. These stupid meat eyes just take anything sent to them and my brain processed it. I’m not quite the computer anymore, but this brain still has a few artifacts from being the old me,” Yve said.
“I know a divine form isn’t a flesh and blood body, but Veros does have eyes too. Would something like that help there?” I asked.
Yve gnawed on her lower lip for several long moments before saying, “Me and Yvera are talking it over. Maybe. We’ll see what we can work out with flickering flames.”
Good. I rather doubted it would be that easy, but I’d take any help that we could get in the fight to come.
“Ready to go trash the sales department?” I asked.
“I liked sales. But I’ll be happy to throw Charming out a window, if he’s there,” Yve said.
We were well familiar with the way. When we got there the floor was almost empty. I was glad for that, I had liked some of the people I’d met there, like Pine.
The two figures present were just the two I’d hoped to see. Charming was there, although he’d traded his business suit for leather armor of much better make than the samples. White was there too, although she’d changed her usual attire for a form-fitting silk gown edged in snowflakes.
“Well, if it isn’t the minor diversions come to spar with their betters,” White said.
“Yve, you look so much better with your clothes on,” Charming said.
“Mean, and completely untrue,” I said.
“Thanks. They seem to have more of their memories back than we thought,” Yve said.
“True love. You can never get away from it no matter how much you try. But then, you wouldn’t understand would you? Men have no problem moving on from you,” White said.
“They aren’t bad at clever banter,” Yve said.
“At least when it’s outside of the bedroom. Was he any good with the bedroom banter?” I asked.
“Pretty decent. It very nearly made up for the rest of the performance,” Yve said.
It was their turn to glare.
“Never have I been so grateful for my complete lack of sexual habits. Can we please start punching people now?” Walt asked.
“Three on two. Really?” Charming said.
We weren’t exactly ones for fair fights, but then, these weren’t exactly our typical circumstances.
“What do you think?” I asked Yve.
“Step outside, Walt. This one is personal,” Yve said.
Walt looked between us, shook his head and stormed off.
I drew Intemperance and the sword flamed to life. Yve unlimbered her two-handed sword and readied it.
Charming drew a rapier and the tip shimmered with magic. White gestured and frost coated her hands, a thin sheen of ice working its way up her body.
I lunged forward and thrust at Charming, but the man was no slouch and he dodged out of the way. So far the armor that Diamond conjured for me had been protection against all attempts to pierce it, but Charming’s rapier went through the shoulder with ease.
I began to feel flushed at once and
my health bar turned green. Great, poison. I had little doubt that it was a potent one. My boosted physiology would be proof against it for a time, but this wasn’t a fight I could let draw out too long.
White was blasting icicles from her palms at Yve, who shielded herself behind a wall of flames.
I took another lunge at Charming. Knowing his speed, this time it was a trap. As I expected he easily stepped to the side and moved to stab me again. I was already kicking out at a nearby desk. I hoped that he wouldn’t know of my strength and that the reaction would take him by surprise. It did. The desk skidded and took him in the legs, flipping him over.
I was already swinging Intemperance in an overhand blow, but he rolled under the desk. Fine, I could deal with that. I redirected the blow to the desk, chopping it in two.
Charming was already sliding under it and the rapier lunged upward. To call the results unfortunate would be something of an understatement—the rapier piercing clean through my groin.
“Really, I’m doing the world a favor,” Charming said. I didn’t have a clever quip in me as I doubled over and collapsed to my knees.
Yve dropped next to me a moment later, a vicious spear of ice through her chest, her breath coming in frosty puffs.
“What do you think?” White asked Charming.
“Basically adequate, yet hardly gratifying. We really do need to pick our playthings better,” Charming said.
“You stabbed him in the dick?” White asked.
“I do hope you were done with it?” Charming asked.
“Oh quite. I’m just impressed at your skill to hit such a tiny target,” White said.
I’d be healing more quickly if it weren’t for all the poison coursing through my system. Even so, I wasn’t done. Not yet.
“Switch?” I said.
Yve nodded and an aura of flames burst around her.
I climbed back to my feet and raised Intemperance, switching my focus to White even as Yve turned to Charming.
“If you weren’t enough to handle him, you know you can’t handle me,” White said.
“You talk too much,” I said, and barreled towards her to catch her with my shoulder. White was unarmored except for the sheen of ice and the impact jarred a grunt of pain from her. Her head lowered to my neck and I felt her lips against my flesh before her teeth dug in.
