“You may now kiss your bride!”
Pete wastes no time he pulls my mom close and plants a sloppy kiss onto her mouth. The crowd cheer and tears are streaming down my cheeks. I am so happy. They look amazing together. They pull away from each other, and Pete grabs onto his new wife and leads her down the aisle. The crowd cheers and claps, whilst upbeat music plays in the background. I stare through the sea of people and I smile when I see Jonathon. He’s walking towards me. I can’t breathe, because I know that he is finally mine. He rushes up to me and he lifts me into the air. His hands caress my back as he spins me around. I let out a massive giggle, and everyone turns and stares at us. I am embarrassed, but I don’t care. I wrap my arms around his neck and I meet his gorgeous lips. We kiss and I melt. He spins me around again and then he eases me back onto the ground. My eyes close and re-open to set on him. His smile is velvet-like, his eyes sinful I realise that he’s now my Wilde velvet.
The night draws in and the guests are easing into the next slow dance. I leave Jonathon at our beautifully decorated table, as I make my way onto the stage. The four piece band is playing softly, and the lead singer kindly steps aside to let me sing to my mom and her wonderful new husband. I tap the microphone and I signal to the guitar player. He and I discussed song choices earlier, and we both agreed that something by ‘lady antebellum’ would be fitting for tonight. My mom and Pete both love their songs and as far as I am aware, Pete actually proposed to ‘Need You Now’. I figured there would be no better song for their first dance. The lights dim and form a spotlight on the middle of the dance floor. I tap the microphone, and then I let my mom know that it’s time for me to sing to her and Pete.
“Please give it up for Mr and Mrs Pete Fisher,” the crowd cheer and clap as they stride onto the dance floor. The music plays, and Pete begins to sway my mom with the slow beat. I look out at the guests siting at their tables munching on their food and I smile. I have played to large audiences. I have sung for important people with impressive jobs. But tonight, playing for my mom on the most special day of her life, nothing will ever compete with that. The intro blasts and I take my cue.
“Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor,”
“I love you Ashley,” Jonathon whispers into my ear as we slow dance to Celine Dion. The smile that has consumed my face is overwhelming. All eyes are on us as we share our love with everyone in the room. I’m so happy right now that I could burst. Jonathon is everything that I could ever need and want in a guy. My music is soaring, and I can’t believe all the success that I have endured so far. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this happiness. I have been far from ‘good’ and deserving of this luck. I feel as if I am on top of the world, a world that I’m finally happy to be in again. Jonathon has changed me. He has opened me up to the idea of falling in love again, and that’s exactly what I’ve done. I love him and he’s everything that I ever want. I could stay with him forever. My heart is plagued by the thought of him finding out about my past. A cold shiver chills my spine at that thought. I would never survive it if he were to hate me for my past behaviour. I try to shake that awful, crippling thought out of my mind and to just focus on tonight. I increase my grip on him as he sways me with the music. He leans in towards me and he places a soft, tender kiss onto my cheek. He eases back from me and flashes that perfect smile. My heart flutters and I lightly chuckle, and then I stand on my tip-toes and plant a kiss onto his lips. Our mouths connect and form the most perfect kiss ever.
“I love you too and I’m going to let in on a little secret. Tonight is the best night of my life. Being here with you is like my own personal heaven that only you and I are in. I love you Jonathon Wilde!” I gush as he pulls me closer. His hand slides down my back and rests on the curve of my back. I tingle at his touch, and I know that we need to get out of here. I want to be close to him. I need to feel him in my arms. I jerk his head close to mine and I whisper. “Let’s escape for fifteen minutes.” he wickedly smiles and he doesn’t need much convincing. He clasps our hands together and he starts for the nearest exit. He spins me around and attempts to lead me out of the room. However, we are momentarily stopped by a guest. A guest that has red flags written all over her. I try to push past her quickly enough that she won’t try to speak to us. However, my efforts are in vain, as she slides her drunken body in front of us. I sigh as I try to keep my cool. My heart is racing as Abby stands brazenly in front of me and Jonathon. I take a deep breath and do I dare speak to her?
Abby Smith is one of those girls who just loves to stir up shit. She loves putting people on the spot and making them feel terrible about themselves. If you think of the bitchiest girl you have ever met, and times her by ten, then that’s exactly who Abby is. It doesn’t help my nerves that she has always hated me with a capital H. We went to school together and our moms are really good friends, but that doesn’t mean that Abby and I were ever friends. I always thought that she had a thing for Brandon. She hated the fact that he was my boyfriend, and that he bought me expensive gifts. I know that she would love to burst my love bubble with Jonathon. I need to get him away from her, before she does exactly that.
“Well look what the cat dragged in!” she slurs. Her already thick accent is multiplied by her alcohol intake. I can feel my whole body tensing at the sound of her voice. I know she means blood, and now I am even more determent to get Jonathon out of here. I reach out and grab his hand pulling him away from Abby as I do. “Leaving are we? When you and I haven’t had a chance to catch up!” Abby groans. I shoot her a pleading look and I pray that her bitchy ways are behind her. Abby loves to see me squirm and a wicked smirk is erupting on her face. I look at Jonathon who looks confused to say the least. He’s eyeing Abby and then me. He senses tension and I really need to get him out of here. I tug on his arm again, grabbing a handful of his expensive jacket. I jerk him forward and a brief sigh of relief curbs over me. I start for the exit with Jonathon trailing behind me. Two steps later, Abby is standing in front of us again. Fuck. Why won’t she just leave? “Ashley you seem to be running away from Me.” she slurs. I sigh and look her in the eye. My heart is beating so fast and I can hardly breathe. My hands are shaking and I am terrified, but I am not about to let Abby ruin my life.
“Is there something I can help you with Abby?” I say nice but sarcastic. She rolls her eyes and I can see that despite being drunk off her face, her mind is still as sharp as a tack.
“Yes, you can introduce to me to your boyfriend here. I bet he’s real nice compared to the last one!” My heart skinks. She’s going there. I exhale as I make eye contact with Jonathon. He’s starting to look really uncomfortable. I fear that he’s about to ask questions that I don’t want to answer right now.
“Baby is everything okay? You look a little flustered?” he asks running his hand over my naked shoulder.
“I’m fine. I just need some air.” he lightly licks his bottom lip, as he nods and try’s to manoeuvre me past the drunken girl. Abby grabs hold of my arm and she’s pulling me back towards her. There’s no way that I am going to get out this. I need to just deal with her once and for all.
“Okay Abby what is it that you want, huh?” I say bitterly. A smirk explodes from her lips. She loves the fact that I am flustered.
“I just want to be introduced to your friend here.” she snaps. Jonathon exhales loudly and fills the space between himself and Abby.
“I’m Jonathon. I’m twenty seven and I work as a music producer!” he says sarcastically. Abby’s smile fades and now horror and revenge creeps onto her freckled face.
“Well Jonathon the music producer, how well do you think you know Ashley here? I’m guessing that there’s a lot that she hasn’t told you about why she left Dallas.” Crap. Fuck and double crap. Abby isn’t stopping. She’s going to let all my secrets out of the bag. Jonathon is going to hate me. I can’t breathe. This isn’t happening right now.
“Abby just … don’t okay. I know you hate me and all, bu
t please I’m begging you, not here. This is my mom’s wedding day. Please don’t ruin it by bringing up the past.” Abby laughs at my plea and Jonathon’s curiosity has grown.
“What happened? Why did you leave Dallas anyway?” he quizzes me. Man I wish that the ground would open up and swallow me right now.
“Listen handsome she’s isn’t gonna tell you. Why don’t I fill you in, huh?” My skin is crawling. I can’t bear to look at her.
“Ashley,” Jonathon says looking me directly in the eye. He’s so beautiful. He was finally mine and now I am about to lose him.
“What’s wrong Ashley cat got your tongue?” Abby chimes. I scowl at her. I can’t let her win. She edges closer to me looking me up and down as she does. “I see you’re not wearing designer labels anymore. What’s wrong, don’t you have a dealer boyfriend to buy them for you anymore.” I can’t breathe. She finally said it. My eyes don’t meet the drunk, angry appalling girl. Instead, they dart and meet Jonathon’s. He looks confused, hurt and he wants answers.
“What did you just say?” he says pulling Abby by the arm. She lets out a giggle that deafens me.
“You heard me. Ashley isn’t the good little girl she’s pretending to be. She’s selfish, spoilt and a little bitch. Trust me dude, you gotta cut her loose now. She’ll only end up ruining your life. Just ask Brandon, oh wait you can’t, he’s still in prison.”
“Ashley what the fuck is she talking about? Who’s in prison? And what the fuck is this about dealers?” I feel like crying. My heart is broken. Tears well in my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. I can’t do this. I know I’m going to lose the love of my life. It doesn’t matter what I say. He’s going to leave me.
“Jonathon …,” I say but I’m cut off by Abby.
“Don’t try and talk your way out of this. You can’t. I know too much about you. I know that you turned a blind eye to everything that Brandon did. As long as you got to drive the ‘Escalade’ and carry the newest bag in your arm you didn’t care. You knew everything he did. Hell some people even say that you were in on everything and that you were a mule. You climbed high and you thought that you were better than the rest of us. Don’t stand there and pretend to be all innocent in front of ya new man.”
“Ashley is any of that true?” A tear runs down my cheek. My mouth was half open, and I taste the salty tear as it runs into my mouth. I’m frozen. I can’t speak. Jonathon is frustrated. He lunges forward and pulls me into his face. “I said is any of that true? And don’t even think about lying to me.” My legs are weak and all I can do is confess everything.
“…Yes … its true!” I stammer. Jonathon pushes me away from him and marches out of the door. Abby is giggling at his reaction. I don’t look at her. If I did, I would probably kill her right now. Instead, I run through the open door after my boyfriend.
“Jonathon. Wait. Please.” I shout after him. He’s striding along the lobby of the hotel. He’s furious and I have to run at full speed to try and match his pace. He is ignoring me. I can’t let him leave me. I love him too much. My heart would never heal. “Jonathon. Please just let me explain.” I scream. He stops and turns around.
“Explain? Or maybe you just want to lie to me more. Which is it Ashley?” I run towards him and I try to grab onto his hand but he pulls away from me. I sigh. I need to fight for my man.
“I’m not gonna lie anymore. I had enough of trying to hide my past from you. Everything that Abby said is the truth, but there’s a whole other story that she doesn’t know. No one does. Please just give me time to explain. I can’t lose you. I love you.” My tears are now streaming down my cheeks. Jonathon doesn’t look sympathetic at all. He isn’t going to give me a chance.
“I can’t even bear to look at you right now. Do you have any idea how repulsive you seem to me now? I can’t touch you, knowing that someone like that’s hands have been all over your perfect little body. “
“Don’t say that. Please Jonathon just give me a chance.” I grab a fistful of his expensive jacket, as I try to leap into his arms. He sighs and pushes me away again.
“Don’t embarrass yourself Ashley.” I feel so small right now. I can’t go on. “You’re not the girl I thought you were. I was a fool to open my heart to you. I won’t make that mistake again!” his words cut like a knife and now he’s repulsive to me. He isn’t the guy I thought he was. The Jonathon I know and love, would have given me a chance to explain. Maybe it’s for the best that he found out. Maybe it was the wakeup call that I needed, to see that he wasn’t the guy for me.
“If that’s how you feel then you can go to hell!” I shout at him. His jaw clenches at my words and he locks those dark eyes on mine for a final time. He straightens his tie as he says,
“Goodbye Ashley,”
Nineteen
Tonight is my big night. Tonight I am preforming at ‘The Roxy’. I can’t believe that I have come so far in such a short space of time. Eight weeks ago I was a no body. I worked a dead beat job and played karaoke bars to fulfil my passion for music. Now I have a record deal. I have fans. I have amazing people around me that help me with everything that I need. I have an amazing apartment that I get to keep. The label has even bought me a car. I feel so blessed. I am so lucky. I lie awake at night, just thinking of how lucky I really am. I get to do something that I love as an actual job. There are so many people out there who are desperately looking for their big break. I know how fortunate I am and I will never let my success go to my head. I know what’s important. I know that having amazing family and friends around me is exactly what I need to help me stay grounded. I know that none of this would be worth it, if I didn’t have them to share it with. I also know that I owe everything to Mr Wilde. He was the one person who always believed in me. He scolded me when I needed it, and he praised me when I deserved it. I am going to miss working him. He meant everything to me. Professionally I was hurt when he signed off as my manager. Personally I was glad. I have only been back in LA for a day and half, but it feels as if I have been forever without him.
He left Dallas the night of the wedding. He didn’t even say goodbye. I cried myself to sleep that night, and then in the morning, I woke up and I grew up. I realised that I can’t spend my life pining after a guy, who wouldn’t even give me the chance to explain. Jonathon Wilde is the love of my life. I loved him since the very first moment that I saw him. Cleary I was wrong to love him. It’s obvious that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. If the roles were reversed, I know that I would have given him a chance. I would have listened to what he had to say. Then I would have made my decision. I wouldn’t have based my happiness on what a spiteful, drunk girl had to say. There’s no way that I would have given up on him, the way he has given up on me. My heart is broken. I am broken and I don’t know how to breathe without him. He was my world. He was the guy of my dreams and I thought that I had finally found my happy every after. All that said, I know that I’m going to be alright without him. I have my family, my friends and my music. My dreams have come true and I know that I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I don’t need a man to define me.
“Miss Harper, their ready for you in make-up.” I set my phone down onto the glass coffee table, and I slowly follow the assistant out of the large dressing room. He leads me into the next room, which looks exactly like what a make-up room should look like. It has the busy people rushing around. It has the table with the light-up mirror, a snack tray filled with bottles of water and fruit. I sigh, as the woman dressed in a tight black skirt and matching roll neck sweater, signals for me come over and sit. I plonk my ass down onto the leather chair, and I sigh again as I mould into the back. The woman smiles at me and then begins with my make-up. I close my eyes as she powders and paints my face. She seems to take forever and when she’s finally finished, she urges me for praise.
“Are you happy?” she says staring into my eyes. I blush and I know that I have to boost this woman’s confidence.
“Yes. You did an amazing job. Tha
nk you.” she smiles at me and then she urges me to get off of her chair. I smile as I jump off.
“All done. Good. Now let’s get you into wardrobe.” The assistant chimes into my ear, as he pulls me by the arm out of the room. He pushes me into a small room that’s filled entirely with clothes. I gasp as I look around. This is every girl’s fantasy. “The stylist is on a break, but she’s left your outfit over there.” The guy says pointing to the back rail. I smile and thank him as I walk over and grab the outfit from the rail. I smile. It’s a good choice. I slip on the white denim shorts and hot pink top, the shoes are stylish wedges that I adore, I smile again this outfit is just my style. I am ushered back into the dressing room. Now the hair stylist is finishing off my soft wavy look.
There is a firm knock at the door and I jump. Who could it be? One of the assistants answers the door, and my panic is over when it’s just Sydney who’s at the door. She comes rushing into the room with a box of doughnuts clasped in her hands. I am surprised to see her. I thought she was still in Paris.
“Hey how are you feeling?” she says as she reaches me. I try to hide my anxiety as I smile at her.
“How am I feeling about what?” I ask. Sydney frowns at me.
“Your performance.” Thank god I applaud silently. I thought that Sydney was talking about me and Jonathon. I can’t think about him right now. It’s too hard. He should be here. I shake him out of my mind as I focus on Sydney.
“Oh not too bad, a little nervous, you know.” I say masking my pain. Sydney flops down onto the sofa and she crosses her legs.
“So how was the wedding?” she says as she takes a bite of a pink doughnut.
“Hmmm it was good,” I say quickly. I don’t want Sydney to ask for details. I can’t relive that night. “So how come you’re back in LA so soon?”
“I told Austin that I needed to be here for your big night. I felt so bad about leaving you in the lurch with the wedding. I wanted to make it up to you.” I smile at my friend. I want to tell her everything about my train wreck relationship with Jonathon. She would put everything into perspective and I know that her advice would be amazing. But, I really don’t want to focus on Jonathon tonight. I need to let my music take centre stage. Tonight is too important and I can’t ruin it.
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