“I know it’s rough, but you’re going to get through this just like you get through everything. You know how I know that? Because you’re a fighter. You’re always going to keep going, no matter what happens. You’re not like me…”
The statement took Val by surprise and she looked up at Gabe, whose dark eyes were shadowed with concern.
“What do you mean? You don’t think you’re a fighter?”
Gabe shrugged helplessly. “If I was, I don’t think I would be so stuck. Everyone is always telling me what I should be doing; how there are all these other fish in the sea and that Molly wasn’t my last chance at having a mate. But I don’t care about what they say. I don’t even want to believe them, if that makes sense. I just want her back, and I’m a stubborn ass. I’m not going to be happy until I get what I want, and she’s all I want. It’s impossible.”
“So, what, you’re just going to accept the fact that you’ll never be happy?”
Now, Val was more confused and agitated than she was unhappy, and her eyes bore into Gabe’s with an intensity she hadn’t known she was capable of. He looked away, clearly caught off-guard by the question and her determination to see to his answer.
“It isn’t like I wanted any of this to happen,” he said, his voice low and tortured. “I just wanted to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love. But I have a lot of years left. And she’s gone.”
Val’s anger melted at the pain in Gabe’s voice, and now, she was hugging him, stroking his well-muscled back as he sighed, his body tense as she tried her best to comfort him. He relaxed a little under her touch, and they held each other on the floor like that, quietly and with an odd, unspoken understanding. Both of them were unhappy. Both of them needed comfort and peace. Both of them felt more alone now than they ever had before, and both of them were to blame for all of it. And yet, there they were, the only remedy to each other’s pain. And yet, healing seemed farther off now than it ever had before.
Finally, Gabe pulled away and bumped Val’s chin gently with his fist.
“It doesn’t do any good to cry about the past. It’s over and done with. We make our own realities, you know. Everything we see around us is a reflection of our own feelings and lives. It’s up to us to figure out what the hell we’re supposed to do with the pieces we have left. And even if we can’t gather them up and move on the way some people think we should, at least we can honestly say we have nothing left to lose.”
Val tilted her head, then shook it. “No, there’s plenty to lose. For both of us. I think it’s better to keep fighting and working toward a better future. That’s the only real solution.”
Gabe’s handsome face creased into a look that was almost a smile, and he nodded. “All right, then. Want to come with me so I can open the shop?”
It seemed so natural to let him care for her in this small way, but being cared for still wasn’t something she was comfortable with. Still, she wanted nothing more than to get up off the floor and pretend nothing had happened; that he hadn’t seen her in a moment of rare weakness, and she hadn’t seen him during the same. That was the only way she would be able to face the rest of the day and still pretend she was strong enough to face the rest of this life on her own.
“All right,” she agreed. “Let’s get this day started.”
17.
It was starting to feel familiar having the kid around. Gabe hadn’t had anyone in his house for so long that it was surprising to wake up and find Val’s gentle voice laughing at something on television, or hear her as she puttered around the kitchen, determined to perfect her very first shifter recipe. He was happy to know she was starting to feel at ease in his home. He knew that must not be easy for her.
When he had found her there, sitting on the floor beside her sad little duffel bag in tears, it had nearly broken his heart. Her energy was all over the place. She had suffered tremendously during her young life, and maybe it had aged her beyond what normal girls her age had endured. She was practical and mature, no-nonsense and intelligent. Determined and independent. And so, so beautiful.
He could tell she felt lost, and felt stupid for not taking her feelings into consideration more. But what was done was done, and he wasn’t going to be able to change the past, or the fact that she was stuck there with him until the outside world was safe for her to return to. And he couldn’t help but dread the day that happened. He had forgotten just how nice it could be to live with someone. He hadn’t realized just how lonely he had been until Val arrived.
But Gabe couldn’t live with the idea of a threat on the woman he had claimed and took to the streets. When he knew Val was sleeping, safe and sound in his home, he would go out in his wolf form, allowing his senses to take over and guide him on the trail of the group of shifters that had been trying to destroy his business. What was it that they had wanted?
His first clue had come late one night, when he and Val were closing up shop.
“What do you keep in the basement?” Val asked, coming up the steps, her eyebrows knitted in concern. “There’s a weird humming coming from behind one of those shelves.”
“A humming?” Gabe asked, immediately thinking of the intruders. Had they planted something down there? Something that might endanger Gabe and anyone who came to his shop?
“Yeah,” Val replied. “Like a giant refrigerator or something. I know you keep food stocked down there, but it was different…”
“Stay right here,” Gabe said. “And don’t move until I come back, unless somebody comes in the shop. Then come down with me.”
Val smiled, clearly thinking Gabe was overreacting, but he couldn’t be too careful. Especially when it came to Val’s safety. He had dropped the ball with Molly, but he wasn’t going to do the same with her.
“All right,” Val said with a small shrug. “Can I have an apple?”
“Have whatever you want,” Gabe said absently, heading down the stairs. “What’s mine is yours.”
When Gabe reached the bottom of the steps, the hair on the back of his neck prickled. He didn’t hear the humming sound that Val was talking about, but he did see something strange. An eerie golden light made the room glow, almost as if there was something wrong with the lightbulb. But he knew there was more to it than that. He was in the presence of magic.
Gabe walked to the shelf that Val had told him about and inspected it carefully. There was nothing amiss there, and he sniffed the room, tapping into the wolf for guidance. The wolf led him to the narrow doorway of the sub-basement, and Gabe’s heart began to hammer hard in his chest. Something was down there. And he didn’t know what to make of it.
The wolf was on full alert. He could hear Val shuffling around the store, the sound of her teeth biting into the apple. And suddenly, he began to hear it too. The sound of a soft hum. He descended down the steps into the dark passageway. He didn’t even need the flashlight this time. The whole way was lit by the golden glow that had changed the atmosphere of the room.
When he finally reached the bottom, Gabe froze in awe. He could feel warmth coursing through his body, and the wolf led him to a spot in the center of the floor. When he stopped, a ripple formed at his feet, and a circle of light began to spread around him.
And then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it was gone and Gabe was left in the pitch blackness of the sub-basement of the store.
His mind raced and he bolted back up the steps to where Val was still standing, chewing her apple, clearly unimpressed by the whole incident. Gabe was still too stunned to believe what had just happened, let alone to try to explain it to a human, and he kept the incident to himself.
“It’s time to lock up,” Gabe said, ushering Val out of the store.
She headed to his car, but Gabe looked up at the sky, not allowing himself to even dare to hope he would find what he suspected he would find.
But, sure enough, the constellation of Mishgen was brightly lit in the sky, his snout aimed directly above Gabe’s shop. The shifters that had been somehow going into his
accounts and siphoning his money away were looking for the portal. And they had known long before Gabe had known, exactly where it sat. They would do anything to tap into its power, even harm an innocent human.
When they had arrived home that night, Val went up to bed and Gabe sat up all night by himself, trying to think about the best course of action to take. He now understood the appeal of his parcel of land. He didn’t fully own it yet; he was still working hard to pay it off. And little by little, the shifters who were after the portal’s power were sabotaging it so they could snatch it right out from under him.
It had to stop. Gabe was going to go after them and finish this fight once and for all. He would protect Valerie and make good on his claim, both on the girl and on the land where his shop stood. There was no other way.
18.
“I miss you more every day, Moll,” Gabe’s deep, rumbling voice said. Val froze in the hallway. She had never actually seen Gabe come inside and place the rose in front of the picture frame on the mantel, but she had noticed that every single day, there was a different flower there. They were always roses, always fresh and always unbelievably beautiful. Somehow, he took care to choose the most perfect flower he could to honor his wife with, and now, she had caught him in the act of removing the day-old rose and replacing it with one that was so fresh it still had speckles of dew on its delicate petals.
She was sure he had heard her approaching, but he seemed lost in thought, oblivious to his surroundings as he spoke to the picture frame, his voice low and tortured as he spoke of his small troubles; the brakes were going bad in his car, and the sink was starting to leak again.
“And there’s something strange going on at the shop…”
Gabe’s voice halted abruptly. “But that’s something I have to unravel on my own. If you have any guidance for me, I’d really appreciate it. I really got myself into a mess this time.”
A mess? Was he talking about bringing Val into the house, or was it something else? Something to do with work? Maybe that strange noise she had heard in the basement was as important as she had feared it might be. Hacker had been asking her about whether she had heard strange noises in the basement of the record store. Was what those shifters were looking for in Gabe’s basement, not Randall’s? And if so, then what the hell was it? Why would anyone be so willing to die for it?
Val turned around, less than eager to embarrass Gabe by letting him know she had witnessed something so personal, and ducked into the first room in the hallway to hide from him. She waited until she heard Gabe’s heavy footsteps leave the living room, muttering to Molly about how he was going to go fix the brakes now and how he would talk to her again tomorrow.
It was sweet, in a way, and also heartbreaking. Did he believe his wife could hear him? Had he been doing this since the day she died, or was it something he had done gradually to cope with the loss? No wonder he found it so hard to move on, if that was the case, and she was the only person he had to talk to.
Val was about to step out of her hiding place when she realized she was in a room full of boxes. It was a small room, barely bigger than a walk-in closet, and she couldn’t fight her curiosity. One of the things she had always done to make herself feel better about the dark prospects of being put into a new foster home was snoop around the house and see just how much she could piece together about her new “family”, based on the things they kept in their homes. Usually, she was able to learn a lot about a person based on just a few things, and since Gabe was so difficult to get to know, she found it impossible to resist.
She waited until she was sure he had heard him leave the house before she tentatively opened the box closest to her. Val had grown very good at placing things exactly as she had found them, and that gave her the courage she needed to continue her search. She carefully lifted a bulky photo album out from the box. It was a wedding album, with a photo of Gabe and Molly on the cover. Gabe’s face was flushed red and he was smiling broadly, his face young and darkly handsome. He had an edge to him, even then, but standing beside Molly, he seemed softer somehow. She had probably known just what to do to keep him in line. Val would probably have liked her.
Without intending to be, she found herself completely consumed by the photos in the album, and had devoured every picture she could of Gabe’s handsome, chiseled features and the bright, easy smile that seemed to come so naturally to him in the presence of his wife. Before long, she had reached the end of the album, her heart filled with warmth toward Gabe and also heavy with a sense of understanding concerning the depth of the loss he had endured.
She reached eagerly into the box, thrilled to find another album stacked beneath the first, and sat on the floor in the dim light of the little room, flipping through photos of people she didn’t recognize; every once in a while pausing to study the shockingly handsome face of the man who had claimed her. She felt a strange sense of pride to be his; to belong with a man who was so clearly capable of handling anything life threw his way. Anything, that is, except the loss of his mate.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
Val nearly leapt out of her skin when Gabe’s voice growled viciously behind her, and the album was snatched out of her hand.
“I’m sorry! I just…”
Gabe’s eyes flashed darkly and Val’s voice trailed off. There was no way she could defend herself this time. She had been snooping, and she was caught red-handed. That had never happened to her before. Why hadn’t she been paying better attention?
“You have no right to this area,” Gabe said, glaring at her. Val felt both embarrassed and ashamed, but there was nothing she could say to make things right.
“I know,” she mumbled, looking down at her hands. “I don’t know what I was thinking…”
But she knew exactly what she had been thinking. She had wanted so desperately to understand Gabe better. He was so aloof and cold at times, and yet, when he was warm, she wanted nothing more than to be by his side for the rest of her life. It was a complex situation with no real solutions, and she hated herself for getting into it in the first place. And in a way, she hated him, too, for putting her there.
“You weren’t thinking at all, is my wager,” Gabe said.
A wave of fear coursed through Val. How much patience could a man like Gabe have? His wolf could come out at any second. It wouldn’t stop for anybody if it was prompted to attack, would it? Not even if he had claimed her.
But Val’s fear seemed to snap Gabe out of his rage, and he looked at her again, this time with a look that fell somewhere between exasperation and pity.
“Really. Why do you want to look at these stupid old pictures anyway? Don’t you think I’ve aged well?”
Val wanted to laugh, because the truth was that no matter how handsome Gabe had been in his youth, now that he was an established older man, there was something even more sinisterly attractive about him. He was sexy and confident in a way he hadn’t been as a young man who had been striving to prove himself to his wife and pack. He knew who he was now, and he was all the more attractive for it. But that wasn’t the kind of thing she could just say to the man. Not when, just a few seconds before, he had been just one step away from biting her head off.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been putting my nose where it doesn’t belong…it’s something I used to do with my foster families.”
She normally didn’t talk about her past, so she was surprised when she let the information slip. Gabe raised his brow at her.
“What was the deal with your foster families, anyway?”
Val sighed, standing up from the area she had perched to look through Gabe’s photo albums and shrugged at him.
“If you want to know, maybe we should go somewhere else and talk about it.”
Gabe considered this and pursed his lips.
“Fine. But only if you let me tell you the stories behind some of these pictures. People making their own presumptions about some of these things could make me look bad
.”
Val wasn’t sure what to say as Gabriel led her out of the room. He settled on the couch and nodded for her to sit beside him. She did, but more because she was afraid of angering the wolf than because of a genuine interest in being close to him.
“I’m sorry I got so angry,” Gabe said, as if he could sense her fear. “I don’t want you to worry. No matter what, it’s my job to protect you, even from myself. If I sense you feeling distressed, in any way, I will be there. Me. Not the wolf.”
“Well, sometimes, the wolf,” Val said, remembering the way the silver beast had leapt to her defense in the alley by the record store. The memory made her shudder, and Gabe put his arm around her comfortingly.
“Only when it’s what’s best for you,” Gabe promised.
Somehow, when she looked into his deep brown eyes, Val believed him. The wolf didn’t want to harm her. In fact, it had never done anything but save her life and her job several times already. Maybe she didn’t have anything to worry about.
“Thank you,” she said, unsure of what to say. But Gabe quirked his brow and she laughed.
“You don’t have to say things like that to a shifter,” Gabe said. “If you’re grateful, happy, angry, scared…we can tell. We can sense it. That’s what makes the wolf act, or not act. Whichever is the best for you in the moment.”
Val nodded and Gabe took a deep breath.
“Well then. Where did you leave off in this album?”
They spent the rest of the night like that on the couch together, talking and laughing as they looked through the photos in Gabe’s boxes. They learned a lot about each other; from Gabe’s first shift to his days on the varsity football team in college.
When she went up to bed, Gabe held her gaze almost as if there was something he wanted to say to her, but he couldn’t quite get it out. Instead, he smiled at her, and her body was electrified by the suddenness and beauty of it. It was the first time she had ever seen him smile like that, and her heart pounded hard in her chest.
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