‘Put a jumper on.’
‘Nat.’
‘I said no!’
A woman with a toddler struggled up the steps, stroller under one arm, squiggly child under the other. She clutched a keycard in her hand and nodded at Lily to take the card and swipe it for her. Lily happily obliged and let the woman and child into the foyer. She sidled up next to them and walked to the elevator.
‘Six, s’il vous plaît.’
Lily pressed floor six and got in with the woman, who smiled her thanks. As the elevator ascended, the toddler squawked and the woman shushed the child, who instantly quieted.
Impressive.
The bell pinged and they all exited through the beautifully polished doors of the lift. Lily waved to the lady then took off in the opposite direction.
Rapping on the door, Lily stepped back to give some space between her and Natalie when she eventually answered.
Nothing.
Knocking a little harder, Lily waited some more.
Nothing.
Bashing hard, she yelled, ‘I know you’re in there! Please, just open the door.’
More excruciating silence.
Curling her fingers into a ball, Lily moved to knock but a faint click came from behind the door. A moment later her sister’s tiny frame was in the space. Her blonde hair was matted and her complexion pallid. Somehow, Natalie managed to look worse than when she’d been found in Lille.
‘You look like death warmed up,’ said Lily.
‘Is this you charming your way into my apartment?’ Natalie countered, her hands on her narrow hips.
Lily nodded towards the apartment. ‘May I?’
Natalie pushed out a long sigh. ‘Fine. You’re just going to barge your way in here like you’ve always done.’
Lily halted her stride. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You take the big sister role way too seriously.’ Natalie shut the door with force.
‘I haven’t been allowed to be your big sister for a long time.’
‘Oh, you’ve been there, believe me. You’ve been in my head when I can’t get a step right. You’ve been in my heart, ripping it to shreds when I think about Aiden and Jake.’
‘Enough, Natalie.’ Lily threw her bag onto the sofa. ‘I’m not here to hash this out again. You’ve made your feelings very clear. What happened to us figuring a way through all this?’
Natalie slumped against the wall. ‘I’m sorry. My bad mood is not your fault.’
‘Huh?’
Natalie used her big toe to move an imaginary piece of fluff across the floorboards. ‘I’m sure Yves would have told you by now.’
‘I haven’t seen him and he…’ She let her words trail off, not wanting to go into the whole debacle of more unanswered doors and unreturned messages. Lily sat on the couch and patted the space beside her. ‘What’s going on?’
‘They were not happy about me disappearing.’ Natalie collapsed on the chair opposite.
Lily refrained from saying, ‘What did you expect?’ Instead, she gave an encouraging nod for her sister to continue.
‘When I explained why I did what I did they got really pissed. Plus, it didn’t help that Cristian Cheverin had called them.’
‘Shit.’
‘Look, I know I brought this on myself but I thought I was doing something good, not just for me, but for the company.’
Good Lord, had her sister just admitted to being in the wrong?
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Natalie grumbled.
‘Like what?’
‘Like you’re surprised by my admission.’
‘Sorry, Nat, but I am. You’ve been happy to blame everyone for all the crap that’s gone on in your life and now you’ve had an about-face. Why?’
‘I don’t always blame everyone else,’ she said and by the defensive tone, Lily suspected this was as far as this conversation would get for now.
Natalie stood, her expression relaying the storm brewing inside her. ‘I’m tired, I just want to go to bed.’
‘Natalie…’
‘I have a massive headache and feel like crap. Please, just let me be.’ She massaged her temples, as if emphasising the pain.
‘Let me talk to Cristian. Maybe he’ll—’
‘No.’ Natalie shook her head vehemently. ‘What’s the point? I’ve messed up my chance to get the role of a lifetime and now they’re likely to hand it to Carolyn bloody Waterstone—on a silver platter.’
‘What if we get Cristian to hand over the drawings? Then we might be able to convince Bohème to still consider.’
‘I’m not so sure…’ Natalie stopped massaging her temples.
‘It might be our only hope.’
Natalie pointed her toes and stretched her legs. ‘Maybe Yves could help with Cristian. After all, he seems to like playing the knight in shining armour.’
Lily didn’t like Natalie’s accusatory tone one bit. ‘It’s not what you think with Yves.’
‘Really? Because when I saw you in Lille, you two looked mighty cosy.’
‘So what if we are…were? I can’t live my entire life as a hermit.’
‘Did you sleep with him?’
Lily stood and grabbed her coat and bag. ‘You booted me out of your life almost two years ago, yet you think it’s totally okay to act like the Spanish Inquisition in my personal affairs.’
‘You did the same to me.’ Natalie stood, her thin frame barely taking up space in the small room.
‘That’s different.’
‘How? You flew all the way here to give me grief—to my face!’
Had Natalie always been this exasperating? ‘I…’
‘You?’ Natalie tilted her head to the side, her lips drawn into a straight line.
‘Never mind.’
‘I do mind. I’m your sister, after all.’
Lily tried to stifle her frustration but failed. ‘You don’t get to pull that card on me, Natalie.’ She marched to the door and yanked it open. She slammed the door behind her as she fought back tears and shoved her arms into the sleeves of her coat. With heavy footfalls, she set off across the landing towards the stairs.
The door clicked open behind her.
‘Wait.’
Resting her hand on the rail but not turning around, Lily stopped.
‘Maybe I’ve been too harsh.’
Tension raced across Lily’s shoulders as she continued to stare at the empty stairwell.
‘Will you come back inside. Please?’
She turned to face Natalie, whose large eyes pleaded with her.
‘I’m not so sure it’s a good idea,’ Lily said.
‘Lily…’ Natalie motioned for her sister to enter the apartment again.
Knowing she’d regret not giving this another chance, Lily went back into the apartment. Natalie sat on the couch and Lily shed her jacket, placed it on the bar stool and took a seat beside her sister. The massive wall of anger that had divided them hadn’t shattered but it certainly felt thinner.
‘I miss Jake.’ Natalie wiped away a small tear.
‘I do, too,’ Lily said.
‘I wonder if he would have been a dancer like us?’
Lily’s lips formed a sad smile. ‘Remember when we used to dress him up in our tutus and tie ribbons in his hair?’
‘Oh, he loved that! And remember when Mum went ballistic when we used her favourite red lipstick on him because it matched the ladybug costume we made him wear?’
When Natalie snorted with laughter, a small wave of happiness washed over Lily. She missed her sister’s contagious laugh.
‘Do you remember when Jake danced around the living room to Swan Lake and knocked over Mum’s vase?’
‘Oh man.’ Lily laughed. ‘The look on his face, the poor kid.’
‘Yet you took the blame.’ A serious air now hung around Natalie.
‘Of course I did. I didn’t want him to cop Mum’s wrath.’
‘You always looked out for him.’
‘So did I.’ Natalie’s voice was low.
‘When it happened you had so much sympathy for me yet…Yet after Aiden died you changed your tune and started blaming me for Jake as well. Why?’
Natalie pursed her lips, her body stiffening. ‘Views change when you’re an adult.’
‘No, no, it’s more than that.’ They sat in silence and Lily’s gaze moved around the room, taking in the framed photos on every surface. She studied the images of Natalie in various costumes and roles over the years, dating back to when she first started dancing at the age of four. Lily looked for photos that represented other areas of her sister’s life but they were all related to ballet. Even the one with a man leaping, his body stretched in mid-flight with perfect symmetry, his handsome face…Oh God. Aiden?
A small gasp fell from her lips.
Natalie’s gaze followed Lily’s and her face relayed pure panic.
‘Why do you have Aid—his picture?’ She’d been so focussed on finding her sister last time she was here that she’d missed this photo. And it was one she’d never seen before.
‘Memories, that’s all.’ Natalie jumped up and rushed over to the cabinet, taking the photo and shoving it in a drawer.
‘Can I see it?’
‘I don’t think it’s a good idea.’ Natalie leaned against the cabinet, blocking the drawer.
‘Come on, Nat.’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘It’s not a good idea.’
‘Why the hell not? I’m sure as hell allowed to see a picture of him!’
‘It’s not healthy to drag up the past.’ She crossed her arms.
‘What the fuck?’ Lily stood. ‘I just don’t get you.’ Natalie’s nonchalant shrug set off blasts of anger. ‘What do you want from me?’
‘Nothing.’ She gripped the cabinet so hard her knuckles turned white.
‘Then I have no idea why you asked me to come back in here.’ Lily grabbed her jacket and bag. ‘You know, I thought you had finally turned a corner and stopped blaming other people for your shit. Turns out I was wrong. Stop accusing everyone else for what goes wrong in your life, then you might actually find a piece of happiness in your world.’
Natalie’s unblinking eyes stared Lily down. ‘Yeah, well, you can talk.’
Between gritted teeth, she said, ‘You don’t know what I feel.’
‘Of course I bloody do. Look at the life you lead now. You spend your days hiding in a small country town doing what?’ Natalie rocked against the dresser. ‘You gave up the only thing that gave you purpose, that could have helped you get over Aiden.’
‘Ballet?’ Lily let out a sarcastic laugh. ‘I had a broken back!’
‘You could have done rehab—’
‘I am still doing rehab, for God’s sake! No one has an accident like mine and goes back to dance professionally.’
‘Really? Because Alana Clarke did.’
‘That’s different.’
‘How so?’ asked Natalie.
‘She didn’t lose her fiancé in a car accident!’
‘See!’ Natalie angled a finger at her. ‘This is why you’ll never move on.’
‘What’s it to you? Since the accident, you decided to hate me and it doesn’t matter what the hell I do, you’re going to continue being a bitch. Goddamn it, Natalie, grow up!’ Her sister’s laugh sent Lily over the edge. ‘Jesus! I’m a pacifist yet all I want to do is smash you in the face right now.’
‘Go on, do it.’
Shaking her head vehemently, Lily said, ‘Nuh-uh. I’m not doing another thing so you can lump blame on me.’ She pointed at Natalie. ‘You have some major issues and you need serious help.’
‘I loved him.’ The words came out fast then Natalie slapped a hand over her mouth.
CHAPTER
27
Slowly putting the coat and bag on the kitchen bench, Lily fixed her gaze on her sister. Her mouth felt dry, her arms and legs shook, her chest felt like all the air had been sucked out. Natalie might as well have grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed them in Lily’s heart.
‘What does “I loved him” mean?’ she rasped.
Natalie squeezed her eyes shut and massaged her temples. Then she stopped and glared at Lily. In a low, menacing tone, she said, ‘It means what you think it means.’
Lily’s chest moved up and down, her eyes not leaving Natalie. Her little sister, the one she had tried to protect her whole life…
‘Did you two…’ Lily couldn’t finish the sentence.
‘No,’ Natalie spat out. ‘He never knew.’
‘Why are you so angry?’
‘You’ll never understand.’
Lily’s mind was a crazed mess. How could she not have sensed this? Had Aiden noticed but not said anything? He’d been so good at reading people and he knew Natalie almost as well as Lily. Of course, if he had known he’d have had the decency not to say anything.
Pieces of a puzzle she didn’t know existed now snapped into place. ‘That’s why he wanted to come to Paris,’ said Lily.
‘What?’ Natalie angrily swiped a stray tear.
‘He knew. That’s why he was desperate for us to move here.’
‘He couldn’t have known.’ Her sister’s voice wavered. ‘I hid it so it didn’t cause any problems between you two. Besides,’ she straightened her spine, ‘he only ever loved you.’
Lily never doubted for a second that Aiden had loved her with all his heart. ‘Why him?’
‘Why did I fall in love with Aiden? You really need to ask?’
‘But he is…was…my love, Natalie. There are so many other men out in the world, why did you choose Aiden?’
‘I didn’t choose him, I swear. I grappled with those feelings for such a long time but it wasn’t your or Aiden’s problem. It was mine.’
‘Is this why you hate me so much? Because I had him and you didn’t?’
‘I don’t hate you. I…’ Natalie’s sigh was long and loud. ‘I stupidly thought that if I had been with Aiden the accident would never have happened. I wouldn’t have fought with him. He wouldn’t have run into the traffic to try to smooth things over.’
‘You can’t know that. You weren’t there. You weren’t with him.’
‘Yeah, well, if he was with me…’ Natalie bowed her head and rested her face in her hands. ‘I do need help.’
‘Then we’ll get you some.’ She walked over to Natalie and placed an arm around her.
‘You’re not mad at me?’ Natalie stared with bloodshot eyes.
‘I should be, but I’m not. I know what it’s like to fall for someone even though your head tells you not to. I am still extremely upset and hurt because you’ve taken it all out on me, though.’
‘I know.’ Natalie’s eyes met Lily’s. ‘I am so very sorry.’
‘When I was going through the most turbulent and heartbreaking time of my life you deserted me. I needed my sister.’
‘You had Mum.’
‘But she wasn’t my sister.’
Natalie lowered her head. ‘I am so, so sorry I wasn’t around.’
Now they were finally talking—really talking—Lily had to get a few things out before she lost courage. ‘I hated how you jumped on my dream. On Aiden’s dream.’
Natalie breathed heavily through her nostrils. ‘I’m not taking anything away from your grief by saying I was also heartbroken by Aiden’s death. I didn’t know how to deal with it and I certainly couldn’t talk to anyone about it. All I knew was I had to get out of Australia before you returned and so when the position opened up at Bohème, well, it made sense. I could be close to Aiden without anyone asking questions.’
‘He’s buried in Australia.’
‘I know, but his spirit is here. Don’t you feel it?’
‘No.’ Sadness weighed on Lily’s shoulders with that one simple word. W
hy did her sister feel this way when Lily, the woman Aiden loved, couldn’t sense anything?
‘Have you been to Avenue Victor Hugo?’ Natalie asked quietly. ‘I’ve tried but haven’t made it to the actual place it happened.
Have you?’
‘I don’t need to. I feel his presence everywhere I go.’ Lily shifted on the couch, her mind whirring. She wanted to hate
Natalie for being in love with Aiden but who wouldn’t fall for him when he’d been so kind, caring, loving and talented? He had his imperfections, like petty jealousy, but they’d tried to work it out. And her sister had fallen for his charm, just like everyone else.
‘Maybe if you tried to go to the place where it happened—’
‘No.’ Lily’s voice was low, annoyance simmering just under the surface.
‘But it could help.’
‘It could also make things worse. Seriously, why are you and Yves on my back about this?’
Natalie’s eyes widened. ‘He knows about Aiden?’
‘Yes and we had a big fight and now he’s not talking to me.’
‘A fight over Aiden?’
‘A fight about him bullying me into going to Avenue Victor Hugo.’
Natalie opened her mouth then closed it.
‘You might as well say it.’ Lily raised an eyebrow, laying down the challenge.
‘Did it occur to you that meeting Yves is one of the reasons you’re here?’
‘Like some serendipitous bullshit?’
‘My sister the cynic.’ Natalie leaned forward, excitement in her eyes. ‘Who knows? This city is full of magic.’
‘That is the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever heard.’
‘Think about it. Your first experience here was so horribly tragic that you now have a chance to make this visit memorable—in a good way.’
‘So let’s just say I was supposed to “meet” Yves. What’s the point? I live in Australia and he lives here. Besides, I’m not interested in a relationship.’ The lie rolled off her tongue like a pro.
‘You are so full of shit, sis. I’ve seen you two in action and there’s a distinct air of attraction. It’s not just physical. It seems to be on a way deeper level than that.’
‘When you were with us you were in a distraught state. How on earth can you make a call like that?’
‘Because I’m a romantic and pick up on these things.’
Beneath the Parisian Skies Page 25
