by Marie James
“Move out,” Kincaid grunts.
Silently we move from the cover of the trees heading to the door at the back of the building. Approaching from the back guarantees that the people coming and going from the whore house closer to the street can’t see us. It’s also the point of entry closest to the safety of the trees, keeping us protected in the darkness for as long as possible.
Snake may be an idiot most days, but his size and brute force are needed in situations like this. His ability to kick in a door keeps us from having to drag a battering ram several miles. His oversized boot meets the wood and the sound of it splintering echoes around us.
We move fast and organized into the small building. Thankful for the floor plans and schematics Blade was able to track down, we all know exactly where we’re heading, each one of us having different goals even though we breach as a single unit.
Just as we’re all inside, the power goes out. I don’t miss a beat, but I hear Snatch.
“I’m blind,” he hisses into his mic.
I grin like an idiot on the wall opposite of him. Simple jobs like this always come with a level of danger, but we have no reason to believe that this mission will be any different from the others that we’ve had. I look over at him, lost in the way he stares blindly into the darkness, able to take him all in without him knowing. Fuck, I miss him and everything we had together. I shake my head, trying to rid it of the thoughts that have no business being in my head anymore.
“Fucking told you,” I taunt. “Just stay against the wall, pretty boy. Let the men handle this sh—”
I grunt when my leg is knocked out from under me. The searing pain of being shot hits a couple seconds later. My vision swims, but I stay as quiet as possible. The last thing I need is to take on more fire when I’m not ready to fight back.
“Itchy’s been hit,” Kincaid says calmly into his mic.
I watch my best friend, crouched low to the ground, as his head turns in my direction.
“Right leg!” Shadow screams. “He’s down, Snatch. Eight meters up and six to your left. I’ll cover you, but you have to go now.”
Snatch’s concerned frown turns into pure terror, fear fills his eyes and twists his mouth. He begins to move toward me with no concern for his safety, ditching all training he’s ever had. I love him even more at this moment, but hate him for not protecting himself.
He slips, face almost hitting the floor. I start to smile, but can’t seem to find the strength. When he pulls his hand up, I notice the darkness standing out against his skin. Blood. A lot of fucking blood.
“Stay with me,” he begs. “I got you.”
The tone of his voice makes me tremble. He never gets flustered, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m the one that’s hurt or if the situation is just that dire.
His hand wanders up my numb leg just as I open my mouth to speak. I yelp instead when he finds the bullet hole and a second later shoves his finger into the wound.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
“Sorry, man,” he apologizes as he begins to unbuckle his belt.
If it’s bad enough for a tourniquet rather than just pressure applied to the wound, I know I’m fucked. The location of the pain radiating out from the wound tells me the femoral artery has been hit. I’m as good as fucking dead.
He reaches for my night vision goggles, needing them more than I do right now. Just before he pulls them from my head, his close proximity gives me an uninterrupted view of his face.
“You’re crying,” I whisper absently as I reach up and caress his cheek. My eyes close, half from exhaustion, half from needing to just be with him at this moment, but struggling at seeing his pain.
“Don’t get all soft on me know,” he teases.
Several curses leave his mouth, from what I assume is him finally able to assess the situation with clear vision.
“I’m cold,” I tell him with a harsh shiver.
“Don’t,” he hisses. “Save your energy.”
Energy? I have no energy. It’s draining from me, pooling around us. I’m an analytical person. I know this is my end. There’s no way I can survive. The distant sound of gunshots tells me the fight isn’t even over. I’m mere minutes away from death in a fight that could go on for an hour. Nothing matters but him at this moment. I don’t care who’s around or what secrets I’m spilling. I know I can’t leave this world with him thinking I’m marrying Snapper.
“I love you,” I confess. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be what you needed.”
I want to say so much more but the blackness working its way into my vision forces my eyes closed.
“Please, stay with me. You’re all I’ll ever need. I love you, too. Please open your eyes.” Words that should’ve been spoken long ago, but would’ve had no bearing on how today ends. As much as I hate to leave him, this is my destiny. I can wish for more time, years and years if I’m being selfish, but it would be no use. I can revel in the fact that the last words I hear him speak is the very thing I’ve been longing to hear for some time.
I attempt to open my eyes, but a light flutter is all I can manage before the sincerity in his voice carries me into the depths of death.
Chapter 36
Snatch
“Calm down,” Kincaid orders as I stand from the hospital bed and run my hands over the top of my head. “Maybe grab a shower or something.”
“I’m not leaving him,” I mutter. “We’ve been apart too long as it is. I won’t waste another second.”
“You want him to wake up and see you covered in blood?” Shadow, always the fucking voice of reason.
I look down at my clothes, saturated with Itchy’s blood. I’ve at least washed my hands. The blood on them now is from the busted knuckles, the aftermath of what went down in that building when they carried him away on a stretcher. The sound of the portable defibrillator recharging over and over is still bouncing around my head, even hours later.
“Fine,” I grumble heading into the bathroom. I’m only a couple of feet from him, but leave the door open just in case he begins to wake or something goes on.
“Really?” Kid asks leaning against the wall on the far side of the room but with a clear view of me stripping out of my clothes.
“You got a problem with it now?” I ask as I kick my boxer briefs off. I’m strung too tight for any comment he may have now that the guys know about Itchy and me.
“Not like you’re thinking,” he mumbles. “I’ve never wanted to see your junk. Close the door.”
“The door stays open,” I say giving him a pointed look, daring him to shut it when I climb in the shower.
“Get cleaned up, man,” Shadow says from around the corner. I can’t see him, but we’ve all stayed in the room since Itchy was brought back from surgery. Well, everyone except Snake and Ace. None of us are in the mood for their shit right now. “We’ll call you if he needs you.”
I climb in the shower, the sting of the hot water on my injured knuckles barely even registering. Not one of them has asked a question about what was said after Itchy was shot, and I haven’t volunteered any additional information. They know what’s going on. Every word we spoke was shared with each one of them via the coms we were wearing.
Less than five minutes later, I’m toweling off, unsure if I got all of the soap out of my hair.
“Your bag,” Kincaid says dropping my duffel just inside of the door.
“Thanks, man.”
“Anytime,” he returns.
I take a minute, standing in front of the small mirror with my head hanging. The doctors repaired the gunshot in his leg, transfused several pints of blood to replenish what he’d lost, but they stopped short of telling us everything would be okay.
‘Prognosis looks good,’ the doctor said. ‘First twenty-four hours are critical.’
“Way to fucking reassure us,” I mutter looking up and staring into empty eyes.
“Hey,” Shadow says sticking his head in the door. “He’s starting to move arou
nd.”
I’m out of the bathroom, by his side, and grasping his cool palm in my own hands.
“Itchy? Itchy?” I whisper softly.
His eyes flutter open, and he does the most amazing thing. When he sees me looking down at him, his lips twitch in a smile.
“Hey, baby,” he says.
I swear my heart doubles in size at the moment.
“Hey, yourself.”
“I thought I died.” His voice is hoarse, a rough edge to it I’ve never heard before.
“I love you,” I tell him, refusing to let another second pass without him knowing.
His smile, although weak, grows bigger. “I thought I dreamed that part.”
I shake my head, unable to speak around the emotion clogged in my throat.
“Not a dream,” I finally manage.
I lean in to press my lips to his, but he stiffens at the voice on the other side of the room.
“About fucking time,” Kincaid mutters.
He’s not strong enough to get away, but Itchy attempts to pull his hands from mine and turns his head.
“Don’t,” I warn.
“We’ll be outside,” Shadow says.
I turn my head and watch the three guys that have stood vigil with me leave the room, only turning back to Itchy when the door clicks closed.
“They know?” He asks, eyes darting between mine for clarification.
“Kinda hard to miss,” I taunt. “With me professing my undying love if you’d just wake up and survive.”
His eyes soften when my hand runs down his cheek. “Sorry I missed that.”
I kiss his lips with only a fraction of the emotion I feel. I don’t want to hurt him even though I want nothing more than to pull him to my chest and tell him everything I promised while he was in surgery.
“I can go back through it if you need.”
“Tell me again,” he prompts.
I wipe the tears that forms at the corners of his eyes before they disappear into his hairline.
“I love you.” I peck his lips. “I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”
“You actually said that without cringing,” he whispers. I can tell he’s losing strength again, even this short conversation proving to be too exhausting.
“I mean it.”
“How bad is my leg?” he asks.
“It wasn’t your leg,” I tell him trying to keep a straight face. “Those bastards shot off your dick.”
His eyes widen, and I continue. “But your ass is fine, so I still want you.”
When I give him an over-exaggerated wink, he realizes I’m joking.
“Asshole,” he mutters with a strangled laugh. “You may have to worry about your own ass after that.”
“It’s yours,” I offer. “But your leg is going to be fine. You’ll have a gnarly scar, but they were able to get the tourniquet off before there was any damage.”
“How? The mission was still happening. I just knew I would die there.”
“Blade, as always, was in on our coms. He dispatched emergency services before I crawled over to you. The team went up the stairs to get the girl, and I carried you out to the ambulance.”
“My hero,” he teases.
“You should get some sleep,” I advise, even though the last thing I ever want to see is his closed eyes.
“I will,” he promises, his grip on my hands tightening.
There is so much I want to tell him, so many questions I have. I’m struggling to not just dive in and lay them all at his feet. Ever aware of his surroundings, he notices.
“Just say it. Whatever has that beautiful face of yours all scrunched up,” he urges.
“Snapper,” I remind. “Tell me the only reason you were going to marry her is because of the fucking video she had.”
His brow furrows. “How did you find out?”
“Answer me first,” I hiss, unable to wait for a second longer.
“That’s the only reason,” he explains. “I knew you weren’t ready, didn’t think you would ever be ready, but I figured you’d hate me more than you already did if she told people. You made your choice very clear that night I was waiting for you in your room.”
“The ultimatum you mean?” I can feel myself getting angry all over again. Not at him, but my own stupidity.
He nods. “I was willing to make that sacrifice with her, to keep our secrets buried where you wanted them.”
I shake my head. “You fucking idiot.”
“Me?” he groans and shifts his weight.
“On the way back from that shit that went down,” I begin to explain. “I made the decision that night to come to you and tell everyone about us. I was in one hundred percent. I got to the clubhouse…”
“Snapper had just announced our engagement,” he finishes.
“You should’ve told me,” I say on a whisper because losing that time with him is awful but even worse considering how today could’ve ended.
“I was hurting at your rejection,” he confides. “Even after everything you told me today, I’m still hurting.”
“I needed time,” I counter, my part of the argument I’m so used to saying.
“You had time. I didn’t have a clue when or even if you would ever come to your senses.”
He winces again.
“We can talk about this some other time,” I say. “You’re not in any condition to discuss this today.”
“I suggest you get it all out in the open, fucker. Once I’m well I may beat your ass when we talk about it again.”
I smile down at him and brush my lips against his. The sigh of his contented breath against mine a relief I thought I’d never feel again.
“How did you know about the video?”
“Khloe told Kid a couple of hours ago when he called her that she’d heard Snapper bragging to Gypsy.” I refuse to speak the rest of the graphic information I had to pull from Kid because he didn’t want to repeat it.
He narrows his eyes at me. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“It’s not important. I just need to know if you’re still planning on going through with it.”
He shakes his head almost violently. “Why the fuck would I do that?”
“Khloe said she heard Snapper bragging about how you guys have been fucking like animals. She told Gypsy she was pregnant.” The words are like sandpaper in my mouth. “I’d never tell you to turn your back on a kid, so this whole situation is pretty fucking complicated. I just need to know if you’re…”
“It’s a fucking lie,” he hisses. “I haven’t fucking touched her since the day Misty showed up at the clubhouse. I’d never fuck a chick without a rubber, so if she’s pregnant, it’s not fucking mine.”
“You fucked Darby without a rubber once,” I remind him like the asshole I am.
“You did too, fucker. That night was chaos. I haven’t done it since.”
“So there’s nothing there? With Snapper?”
He shakes his head. “Fuck no. She’s been sleeping in my bed, but I don’t even touch her. I was only pretending for you.”
“That’s a good thing,” I mutter. “Kincaid told Rose to put her ass out. She won’t even be at the clubhouse when we get back.”
“He kicked her out thinking she was engaged to me and pregnant with my child. That’s super fucked up.”
I smile. “You know how Prez is. He has a sixth sense about this shit. He knew she was lying. Told as much to Shadow when we were discussing her leaving the club.”
“Wow,” he mutters.
“I will tell you that Kid didn’t fucking care. He voted her out regardless if she was in a delicate condition.”
“We could’ve avoided all of this,” he adds.
“I know, and all of this is on my shoulders. I own it, and I’ll do everything in my power to make it right.” I peer into his eyes searching for the answers I truly need. “If you’re beside me, I can conquer the world.”
“You’re getting soft
on me,” he says with a wide smile.
I shrug. “If you need me more manly right now, I have no problem shoving my cock down your throat.”
“There he is,” he whispers. “I’m so fucking tired.”
“Get some sleep, Rob. I’ll be here when you wake up.” His grip loosens on my hand as he falls asleep. “From now on, I’ll always be here.”
Chapter 37
Itchy
“Still hurting?” Snatch whispers in my ear as I settle into the couch cushion.
“Physical therapy kicked my ass today,” I answer. “It’s still nowhere near as painful, I imagine, as that paper cut you had two years ago.”
“Asshole,” he mutters handing me a beer. “It was a cardboard cut.”
“You don’t find this weird?” I ask looking around the room full of happy couples.
We’ve been back from Brazil for several weeks, and no one has even brought up our relationship. I’ve talked about it a little more with Khloe, but that was more a litany of ‘I told you so’ and gratefulness that Snapper was finally gone. Gypsy left with her, so that’s the end of the club girls. Snake, Ace, and Skid are the only single members left, but they’ve been having a good time hunting for their conquests.
“That no one even blinks an eye at us?” Snatch asks. I nod. “It just makes me feel even more like shit for not telling them two years ago.”
“What’s done is done,” I tell him. The words have been on repeat since I woke up in the hospital.
Kid walks in, handing a cold bottle of water to Khloe. Bri is snuggled up to some guy on the other sofa. Dominic is playing rock, paper, scissors with Jasmine while Mak looks on, the glow from her pregnancy already pinking her cheeks. Griffin is trying to share his banana with Ivy who is in Kincaid’s arms drinking a bottle. Em is beside him with Gigi sleeping on her lap. Shadow and Misty have their heads leaned in close, and from the fire in his eyes, I don’t think they’ll be out here much longer.
I make the mistake of looking over at Snake who’s sitting on the floor in front of Ace. He catches my eye, and a devious smirk crosses his lips. It’s a warning sign for what comes out of his mouth next.
